Tag Archives: Steve Harvey

Quoted: Dani McClain on Fierce Single Black Women and Activism

I didn't work this hard just to get married cover

That panic is rooted in the sense that too many professional women (of any race) not getting married means too many people pushing back on sex-based pay disparities in the workplace. It means too many people questioning the logic of tying health care benefits, property rights, hospital visitation rights, etc. to marriage. To me, these articles and “news” programs are being published and broadcast in an effort to stem this coming tide. And those of us black women who feel offended and mischaracterized by the media onslaught should take this as our cue to claim our rights and our rightful place as trailblazers in the 21st century reconfiguration of family and adulthood.

Rather than take the bait and feel terrible about ourselves when some media outlet tells us we’re both cause and victim of an “epidemic” or “crisis” in the black community, let’s assert that we are grown-ass human beings, and thus deserving of the same social, economic, civil and political rights that married people can access.

A vocal segment of the LGBTQ activist community has been making this argument for a while now. People like Kenyon Farrow, Jasmyne Cannick and Yasmin Nair have long been arguing that rather than making marriage the be all end all, we should be supporting each other in creating custom-made families that work for us. They’ve pointed out the folly of fighting to mimic and reproduce the patriarchal, nuclear families that continue to be held up as the only legitimate model in this country. These writers argue – and straight, unmarried black women would be smart to join the chorus — that rather than focusing on getting more people married, we should be de-linking human rights from marriage and creating space for a broader acceptance of the cobbled together, nontraditional families that many of us came up in. I know I’m not the only one who was raised by a thoroughly capable single parent and the family members she kept close to make sure I was surrounded by love and good care at all times. My family has never been illegitimate.

So where have we been while this segment of the LGBT community has been crafting the arguments we need to be firing off to Essence every time they let Steve Harvey ruminate on how much we should hate ourselves? While segments of the gay community are planning for a time when non-sexual domestic partner benefits are available nationwide, why aren’t those of us who still don’t quite get how marriage would enrich our lives spiritually, romantically or materially supporting that fight? Even if we do think we might want to marry some day, why not join forces now with people like Farrow and Cannick as they argue for the kind of movement that would benefit us just as much as it would benefit them?

–From Unmarried black women: “We’re here, we’re fierce, get used to it.”, full post available at Feministing

Happy Black Girl Day x Assimilation x Whiteness

by Guest Contributor Renina Jarmon (M.Dot), originally published at Model Minority

Black assimilation is premised on being accepted by White people and making them feel comfortable.

In reading Kevin Mumford’s brilliant book, Interzones, I learned that the Urban League and the NAACP are historically rooted in making sure that country Negros from the south, who moved to the north, didn’t make aspiring middle class Black folks look bad. These two groups monitored Negro behavior on the streets, went door to door teaching folks about “personal cleanliness” and monitored Black sex workers.

I am excited about #Happyblackgirl day because it is about us affirming ourselves and not looking to mainstream media to do so.

I am grateful that @Sistatoldja took the time to make it happen. The 7th day of every month is now, Happy Black Girl Day. Wooter.

Last week I tweeted “Black women are awesome on 55 million different levels. CNN can’t capture that and I don’t expect them to. It ain’t they job, its ours.“

I see those reports and roll my eyes because I know that when CNN does their Negro reports they are simply doing their job, which is to serve the interests of the shareholders and of the white power structure.

Don’t get me wrong, if CNN was like, can you come on and talk about Black women’s sexuality, global economy or gentrification, I would roll, but I highly doubt that phone would ring, lols. Renina the pundit. Ha!

Back to the hair. Black women needing to straighten their hair to increase their chances of getting a job or a mate, is a manifestation of structural domination. Continue reading