By Racialicious Special Correspondent Wendi Muse
Considering that I am presently living in Brazil, everyone and their mother sent me emails to alert me that this year the America’s Next Top Model “exotic” location was going to be São Paulo, Brazil. Of course, I was on it like white on rice.
I have previously covered ANTM’s behavioral faux-pas (read: extreme insensitivity in relation to the respective racial/ethnic/national identities and/or sexual orientations of the contestants, just to name one of many problems), but I felt the need to take another stab at their culturally-oriented failures considering I am living here in Brazil, visit São Paulo every other weekend, and could safely say, before even watching it, that it was going to end up a hot mess.
In light of the fact that some of the comments made during the show were quite obnoxious, I decided to return the favor. I say let’s squelch fire with fire, ladies. And no, I am not talking about the burning sensation during a Brazilian wax, which seemed to be about the only thing this season’s gaggle of beauties knew about the country that over 196,000,000 people call home.
I have decided to write a little ditty about my take on the show. Check out the clips to see for yourself. Footnotes are provided for additional information. I would have set it to the beat of “the Girl from Ipanema,” but I was too tired from watching the stereotypes and stupidity unfold before me to actually do that. Here goes:
In São Paulo, samba’s not the really the thing. (1)
But hey, at least the girls got flip flops with bling. (2)
Oh and Spanish, speak it they do not. (3)
And in São Paulo, it’s hardly ever hot. (4)
So if you really wanted a sun burn or a tan,
You should have gone to beaches of Rio, a clip of which they ran. (5)
And though capoeirista Eddy speaks quite clear,
They decided to run subtitles as not to offend our AMERICAN ENGLISH ONLY ear. (6)
And Carmen Miranda— for the eyes she’s a feast.
Yet too bad home girl is actually PORTUGUESE. Read the Post The Brazil Files: Not So FIERCE – America’s Next Top Model Goes to Brazil