Tag: sex

December 18, 2012 / / film

By Guest Contributor Crunkonia; cross-posted from The Crunk Feminist Collective

[Watch Racialicious for the first interview in this series coming soon.]

Porn is what’s hot in the streets (a.k.a halls of the academy) now.

There are brilliant scholars who historicize and build upon black feminist participation in conversations about pornography. And there are others who simplify the argument into a false then vs. now paradigm that presents our foremothers as prudes, not as the women who made it possible for us to talk about sexuality in the ways that we do today. I believe these others wish for the day when black women can talk about sex as if they were white men, with no cloud of controlling images over their heads.
Read the Post Sex On Screen: An Intro To The Hella Brown Series (NSFW)

July 23, 2012 / / everyday racism

So, as I am wont to do, I found myself doing chores and catching up on reality TV.

I had heard about Nicole Murphy/Andrea Kelly’s new show, but I also set myself up for disappointment by reading the title as “Hollywood Execs” not “Hollywood Exes.” Here I was excited to hear all about these new women fronted development projects, and the show is actually about moving on from your famous spouse. Oh well. I decided to give it another chance. During a routine conversation about vaginal lasering and rejuvenation, this exchange happens:

Sheree Fletcher: Wait a minute, let me ask you this. It’s my understanding that men really don’t care what it looks like –

Jessica Canseco: Well, that’s ’cause you datin’ a black guy, honey!

*record scratch*

Sheree Fletcher: Now wait a minute…

Other women: What do you mean, what do you mean?

Jessica Canseco: From what I hear, black guys don’t go [down.]

*gasps*

Nicole Murphy: (in confessional mode) That’s garbage. That’s not true. At all.

Jessica Canseco: Black guys are like “eep eep eep” (makes chicken fingers). They do, I swear to God. They talk about black girl’s vaginas. It’s true.

Sheree Fletcher: (swoons) Our vaginas?

Jessica Canseco: You want me to get into all of this?

Sheree Fletcher: They complain about our vaginas to white girls? Read the Post Awkward: When Your Friends Make Racist Assumptions About Your Dating/Sex Life

April 20, 2011 / / announcements

By Sexual Correspondent Andrea (AJ) Plaid Yep, I–along with sexpert and Racialicious booster Twanna Hines–will…

Read the PostMoSex for the R!

April 11, 2011 / / african-american

By Sexual Correspondent Andrea (AJ) Plaid

On March 30 hip-hop producer Calvin “Mr.Cee” Lebrun—he of Notorious B.I.G.’s Ready to Die fame–was busted by New York City police allegedly receiving oral sex from a sex worker. Reports said Lebrun supposedly received the sexual favors from “a man” .  This got some people feeling some kind of homophobic way, complete with saying that “we all should have seen this coming” because of his alleged “golden showers” kink.  As Sister Toldja wrote earlier this week :

To be totally fair, this isn’t the average gay rumor; not only was the other person in the case allegedly paid for the act, the writer who dropped this gossip also claimed that Mister Cee has a thing for urinating on female strippers. So while much of the chatter is about Mister Cee being (allegedly) infected with The Gay, folks are aghast by this pee thing, too. Considering our attitudes about sexuality, that’s no surprise.

With homophobia and anti-kink sentiments roiling—and Lebrun and his supporters doing the NYPD Hip-Hop Conspiracy Step hip-hop artist and critic dream hampton provided some level-headed analysis about the situation:

While highly regarded in the hip hop industry and in New York, Mister Cee is not necessarily famous. Still, his arrest gave opportunity to talk about the persistent poking around hip hop’s “closet,” where speculation about sexual orientation is practically a sport. Charlamagne actually elevated the conversation by asking why a married 44-year-old man was seeking sexual favors from a 20-year-old, professional or otherwise, and if that, then why in a parked car? I argue that none of this would be a discussion, viral or anywhere else, had Cee been arrested with a 20-year-old woman, be she prostitute or not. I also don’t believe, 2011 or not, that hip hop is a safe space for anything other than aggressively heterosexual public behavior or affirmation. While obviously lesbian women MCs and personalities remain silent if not closeted about their sexuality, there is even less space for men to appear bisexual or homosexual.

I believe that Mister Cee’s sexuality is a personal matter, one he must reckon with himself and his wife. But Charlamagne’s co-host Angela Yee took the position widely held by heterosexual women—that closeted bisexual men are a health hazard, exposing trusting women to AIDS and more. While I’m not dismissive of those concerns, particularly in a marriage, where condom use is expected to be abandoned, I do know that we heterosexual Black women don’t exactly offer safe spaces for bisexual men to express their desires.

I’m also far more concerned that the transgendered 20-year-old who allegedly serviced him be safe, particularly if he is a sex worker. I wished aloud on my own Twitter feed that the discussion about Mister Cee would be one about decriminalizing sex work and focusing on harm reduction rather than speculating if Mister Cee is closeted.

Hampton is right in this respect.

Read the Post Mr. Cee, Brooke-Lynn Pinklady, and Transphobia

March 7, 2011 / / african-american
March 3, 2011 / / celebrities

by Latoya Peterson

At the Independent Spirit Awards, the writers apparently thought it would be hilarious for Paul Rudd to grab Eva Mendes’ breasts. In the video above, Mendes talks about how they had “this really funny bit” where Rudd would “grab her tits,” then shock the audience, then presumably say something funny to incite more laughter.

But Rosario Dawson wasn’t having it.

The video cuts back to Dawson firmly grabbing Paul Rudd’s crotch. However, note what else she is holding in this picture:

Rosario, Fork, Rudd, Mendes

CNN transcribed her interview with Access Hollywood:

“He did this vice grip on her breast, and I was like, OK, it was funny for like a second. But then it kept going and going and going. And then the lights went down and the clip started rolling and he was still vice-gripping her! I was sitting there with my fork like, ‘If he doesn’t stop, I’m going to stab him with my fork.'”

Rudd didn’t remove his hand, so Dawson went into action.

“I got up there and I stabbed him with my fork,” she says. “He didn’t stop, so I was like, alright, I’m going to grab his package… I was like, I’m really sorry, Paul, I don’t mean to be offensive. But you’re kind of being offensive.”

Dawson kept a hold on the surprised actor until he let go of Mendes.

“I’m a women’s rights activist and I was getting a little tired that he was grabbing her onstage for half an hour. I was kind of getting over it,” Dawson later explained to “Access Hollywood.” “Why do men always get to cop the feel? Women get to cop a feel too! Just keep it equal opportunity.”

Following the lines of discussion around this has been a bit of an education in what people expect to see on their screens and how strange our conversations around feminism and women’s bodies can become. Read the Post Paul Rudd Fondles Eva Mendes for Laughs; Rosario Dawson Fondles Paul Rudd for Feminism

February 7, 2011 / / black

By Sexual Correspondent Andrea (AJ) Plaid

Wait….another Black female singer is causing a brouhaha with bondage/domination/submission/sadism/masochism (BDSM) imagery?

Like Ciara’s kinky video, I’m not going to clutch my pearls over this one, either.

For the last week, parts of Onlinelandia has been chatting about Rihanna’s latest vid, “S&M,” in which she indulges in a Technicolor blur of ball gags, cellophane, PVC gear, whips, electrical tape, and ropes.  Oh yeah, and her fellating a banana and getting sexy with a strawberry. (I can see PETA putting Rihanna on their short list for future campaigns on the strength of that alone.) Check it out (NSFW):

MTV News reported that the clip has been banned in 11 countries and YouTube’s already restricted it.   To YouTube’s restriction, Rihanna gave it side-eye on Twitter: “They’ve watched Umbrella…..I was full nude.”  She also told her fans to peep the uncensored clip on her websiteOther news sources have reported that MTV itself is trying to clean up the video so it can be shown the maximum audience.

And unlike Rihanna’s influence, Madonna and her visual ode to BDSM, “Human Nature,” or even Ciara’s “Love Sex Magic” (where the sexin’ “tricks” ultimately becomes a segue to or reason for “falling in love”), Rihanna just lets you know:

Feels so good being bad (Oh oh oh oh oh)
Cause no way I’m turning back (Oh oh oh oh oh)
And now the pain is my pleasure
Cause nothing could measure (Oh oh oh)

Love is great, love is fine (Oh oh oh oh oh)
Out the box, out the line (Oh oh oh oh oh)
The affliction of the feeling
Leaves me wanting more (Oh oh oh)

Cause I may be bad, but I’m perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don’t care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me

Read the Post Rihanna’s Whips-and-Rope Confection

December 7, 2010 / / Love Anonymously

by Anonymous2

Black woman lookiing in mirrorI can’t even begin to detail how my skin color has affected my self-esteem with dating. I am always aware of it. Just a few years ago, in college, it wasn’t nearly as bad. At that time, I felt I worked through most of my shit and figured, “I’m young, I want to fuck, and I’m going for it.”

But, the results were not what I expected. Everyone rejected me. Everyone. Now, I understand and welcome rejection because it keeps one’s ego in check. Still, it was every single person I showed the slightest interest in, all in a row. Why? I mean, I was (and am) an ideal catch. I’m young, cute, have a great body, super-smart, and engaging personality. That wasn’t good enough. I couldn’t help but analyze myself and asked, “Why all the no’s?” It wasn’t until I saw how two friends of mine began dating monogamously (although my friend repeatedly told me she didn’t want anything serious; neither did I, dumbass) that it hit me like a punch in the face: the other friend is white.

Despite our similarities, my friend edged me out in that all-important category skin color. I was furious. Here I was, the happiest I’ve ever been, and my race literally clit-blocks me. Pretty soon after the insecurities crept back into my psyche. It was heartbreaking. I had worked so hard to build up my self-esteem about my color, and when faced with a swell of rejection, it crumbled. In retrospect, I see how fragile my confidence really was. My conviction was never reinforced; it was all self-supported. To have all that progress destroyed so drastically really worries and frightens me. I don’t know if I can get that girl back. Read the Post Fucking While Black [Love, Anonymously]