Tag: marriage

February 5, 2013 / / black
June 4, 2012 / / glbt

By Guest Contributor Theresa Celebran Jones, cross-posted from Hyphen Magazine

A few weeks ago, a scandal erupted on the web thanks to an unfortunate misquote regarding Manny Pacquiao’s stance on gay marriage, made in response to President Obama’s public extension of support for it. Essentially, Manny Pacquiao tells a reporter, “God’s words first.” The reporter then quotes Leviticus 20:13; an L.A. Weekly blog post quotes that piece and uses the headline “Manny Pacquiao Says Gay Men Should Be Put To Death”; and the misquoted story goes viral. About a day later, the whole thing had been researched and debunked. As it turns out, although Pacquiao’s still against gay marriage, he said nothing about wanting gay people dead–but the damage was done. His image was already tarnished, my conservative family members were already blabbering on about the biased liberal media, and Floyd Mayweather Jr. had already jumped on the opportunity to support gay marriage publicly.

It’s hard to keep track of the layers of f*ckery in this story. There are so many questions we could (and should) ask: Would this issue have gone viral and would Pacquiao have been misquoted in the first place if he were white and American instead of brown and foreign? Could our leap to conclusions have hurt the gay community in the eyes of people who don’t yet consider themselves allies? Did nobody realize that Floyd Mayweather, Jr.’s coming out in support of gay marriage because it was a more popular political move was actually a pretty big deal–given his history of homophobic rants–even though it was clearly opportunistic on his part?

But then, I’m hung up on my experience as a Filipino American growing up around some gay Filipino American folks, and that’s where the story hits me.

Read the Post Our Heroes Are Only Human: Manny Pacquiao And Gay Marriage

March 28, 2012 / / muslim
December 15, 2011 / / LGBTQ

by Guest Contributor Taja Lindley, originally published at Nicole Clark’s Blog

By now we are all too familiar with the preoccupation with the unmarried Black woman in the media. The question that keeps getting raised is: “Why can’t a Black woman understand, find and keep a man?”
Fundamentally I don’t have a problem with conversations about love and relationships. I have them all the time. What’s unfair about this question, and the conversation that follows, is what’s at stake because when single white women search for love, they get an HBO series (Sex and the City). But when unmarried Black women are approaching, at, or over the age of 30: it’s a crisis, it’s a catastrophe with severe consequences for the ENTIRE Black community, warranting late night specials on major television networks and talk shows dedicating entire segments to finding us a man.The conversation always becomes “what’s wrong with Black women? “ and we get demonized as: unlovable, broken, undesirable, domineering, angry, aggressive, incompatible, uncompromising, too compromising, (in the words of Tyrese) too independent, possessing unrealistic expectations…and the list goes on.Then here come Black-male-entertainers-turned-experts on their horses with shining armor to save the Black woman from herself! To save her from her own pathological destruction so she can do a better job of successfully creating and preserving the Black family. (Damn, that must be a lot of responsibility.)

Conversations like these put Black women on the defensive where now we need to explain what we think, how we act, and for what reasons so that these so-called experts can give us paternalistic and patriarchal prescriptions for solving the so-called crisis of the unmarried Black woman.

Academic professor and researcher Ralph Richard Banks, recent author of Is Marriage for White People?, administers the latest advice for us. He enters the conversation on the assumption that has gone unchecked: that all Black women are successful, and all Black men are victims of America…as if heterosexual Black women seeking marriage aren’t in poverty with a net wealth of $5, suffering from wage discrimination, or also dealing with escalating rates of incarceration. But setting those facts aside, he advises that Black women consider interracial marriage for the purposes of bolstering the Black family and better serving our race. (No, I’m not making this up, see for yourself.)

So clearly what’s at stake here is the Black family. Not Black women’s happiness, not our ability to learn and grow as lovers and partners in a relationship or in marriage. What’s at stake is the responsibility that consistently gets laid on our back about the success or failure of the ENTIRE Black community. As if single parent families headed by women are the root cause for disparities and inequality. (Sound familiar? Yup, kind of like the Moynihan Report.) Read the Post Didn’t You Forget Me? A Queer Black Feminist’s Analysis of the Black Marriage Debate

January 14, 2010 / / african-american

by Guest Contributor Renina Jarmon (M.Dot), originally published at Model Minority

Black assimilation is premised on being accepted by White people and making them feel comfortable.

In reading Kevin Mumford’s brilliant book, Interzones, I learned that the Urban League and the NAACP are historically rooted in making sure that country Negros from the south, who moved to the north, didn’t make aspiring middle class Black folks look bad. These two groups monitored Negro behavior on the streets, went door to door teaching folks about “personal cleanliness” and monitored Black sex workers.

I am excited about #Happyblackgirl day because it is about us affirming ourselves and not looking to mainstream media to do so.

I am grateful that @Sistatoldja took the time to make it happen. The 7th day of every month is now, Happy Black Girl Day. Wooter.

Last week I tweeted “Black women are awesome on 55 million different levels. CNN can’t capture that and I don’t expect them to. It ain’t they job, its ours.“

I see those reports and roll my eyes because I know that when CNN does their Negro reports they are simply doing their job, which is to serve the interests of the shareholders and of the white power structure.

Don’t get me wrong, if CNN was like, can you come on and talk about Black women’s sexuality, global economy or gentrification, I would roll, but I highly doubt that phone would ring, lols. Renina the pundit. Ha!

Back to the hair. Black women needing to straighten their hair to increase their chances of getting a job or a mate, is a manifestation of structural domination. Read the Post Happy Black Girl Day x Assimilation x Whiteness

March 18, 2009 / / asian