Category: sex

November 29, 2012 / / Meanwhile On TumblR

By Andrea Plaid

Jada Pinkett Smith and Willow Smith. Photo Credit: Bauer Griffin. Image via Zimbio

What captured the most likes and reblogs in our corner of Tumblr this week? Jada Pinkett Smith on her giving her daughter, Willow, the autonomy to cut her hair…or, rather, a post from Feminist Griote on Pinkett Smith’s position about it:

Willow as a little girl is learning that she is a force to be reckoned with in this world, and that her gender, and gender presentation will not serve as impediments. Jada who is now championing the cause against human sex trafficking, of which girls are disproportionately victims, understands that women need to own themselves fully, if not someone else will. Girls are being trafficked at an alarming rate and not just abroad, but also in our own backyards. In the U.S. alone 80% of human sex trafficking victims are women and girls and 50% are minors. Jada is making the conscious choice to take her daughter along with her on her journey to help end human sex trafficking. In a world where little girls are raped, stolen, and sold as a commodity, hair isn’t all that important.  Sometimes I wonder, have some of us adult Black women forgotten what it’s like to be a little Black girl in a white heterosexual patriarchal society? Again to quote Lorde, “easier to crucify myself in you than to take on the threatening universe of whiteness…” Our Black bodies and Black psyches are always being assailed and violated. Healthy validation is often hard to come by in these streets riddled with harassment. Therefore, let us save our vitriol and condemnation for more important things like the perpetuation of rape culture or Donald Trump.

Read the Post Meanwhile, On TumblR: Jada Pinkett Smith On Willow Smith’s Hair

November 23, 2012 / / african-american

By Guest Contributor R.N. Bradley

Image via madamenoire.com

“He so fine, he could rape me so good.”

Pause.

Yeah. You read that correctly. To borrow from my southern roots, I got “thowed off” when my student put this in the atmosphere while talking about black women’s sexuality in a multicultural space like hip hop.

Thowed. Off.

It happened in class about a month ago, and I have yet to find the words to ease the levels of high anxiety and horror that I continue to grapple with after hearing this phrase. Part of me recoiled like the 9-year-old little girl I talked about here; part of it was me as a grown woman angry at the fact that rape is contextualized and dismissed as a spectacle. By no means is this quick commentary intended to be a polished discussion of rape and blackness in the popular imagination. Instead, is more sporadic and “off the dome.”  It has no shaped trajectory but accentuates the messiness of rape discourse that currently exists in (black) American popular culture.

Read the Post **TRIGGER WARNING** “I Say It’s All Good When It Really Ain’t:” Rape as Respectability?

October 19, 2012 / / Meanwhile On TumblR

By Andrea Plaid

Jakeya Caruthers. Courtesy of the interviewee.

Meeting one of my long-admired-from-afar writer/thinkers, Darnell Moore, over coffee-talk about gentrification and public transportation, I asked for suggestions for people I could interview for future Crushes. He said that he knew this sistah at Stanford University who taught a class on Afrofuturism.

“Latoya’s taking a class on that as part of her Stanford Fellowship,” I said. “This has got to be the same woman teaching it…”

While Latoya’s family and I drove her back to JFK airport from her weekend stay in NYC, she was all hyped up about–yep!–her Afrofuturism class.

“With Jakeya, right? I’m planning to interview her for the Crush post…”

“Yes! That’s what I’m talking about!!”

So, y’all know what my first question was for Professor Caruthers…

In full disclosure, the R’s intrepid leader, Latoya Peterson, is completely in love with your class, especially the homework! What are you teaching our gurl in your class?

Wow, that’s really humbling!

Read the Post Racialicious Crush Of The Week: Jakeya Caruthers

September 28, 2012 / / Racialicious Crush Of The Week
September 26, 2012 / / An African Election

By Andrea Plaid

I knew I was “pro-choice” since about the age of ten. I remember watching the nightly news at my aunt’s house (this was in the late 70s), and there was a segment on about the abortion debates. I don’t remember the images, just the words, “a woman has the right to bring a child into the world.” I thought no truer words were spoken and, thus–with some permutations, like understanding the nuances of “pro-choice/pro-reproductive rights” and “reproductive justice” and moving my thinking toward the latter–I’ve stayed in that stance ever since.

And–yowza!–I remember conversations my mom and I would have about it throughout my ‘tween and teen years. I told my mom–she was the only grown person I could talk to about this–that I wasn’t going to have kids, full stop, and would seek an abortion if necessary in order to remain childless. (I thought my love life at that time would consist of a series of lovers, none of whom I knew I wouldn’t want to be attached to via a child. A husband? Yeah, perhaps, but I thought the lovers thing sounded infinitely sexier in my head.) Mom wasn’t hearing any of this. And her trump card in this argument? “Only white women kill their children. We”–meaning Black women–“don’t do those things.” I didn’t know how to argue against respectability politics then. I just knew that it wasn’t going to by my life, dammit.

And I knew not every Black woman believed what my mom believed about abortion and its role in our lives.

So, imagine my joy when I saw Faye Wattleton.

Faye Wattleton. Courtesy: Black Enterprise Events

Read the Post Racialicious Crush Of The Week: Faye Wattleton

July 23, 2012 / / everyday racism

So, as I am wont to do, I found myself doing chores and catching up on reality TV.

I had heard about Nicole Murphy/Andrea Kelly’s new show, but I also set myself up for disappointment by reading the title as “Hollywood Execs” not “Hollywood Exes.” Here I was excited to hear all about these new women fronted development projects, and the show is actually about moving on from your famous spouse. Oh well. I decided to give it another chance. During a routine conversation about vaginal lasering and rejuvenation, this exchange happens:

Sheree Fletcher: Wait a minute, let me ask you this. It’s my understanding that men really don’t care what it looks like –

Jessica Canseco: Well, that’s ’cause you datin’ a black guy, honey!

*record scratch*

Sheree Fletcher: Now wait a minute…

Other women: What do you mean, what do you mean?

Jessica Canseco: From what I hear, black guys don’t go [down.]

*gasps*

Nicole Murphy: (in confessional mode) That’s garbage. That’s not true. At all.

Jessica Canseco: Black guys are like “eep eep eep” (makes chicken fingers). They do, I swear to God. They talk about black girl’s vaginas. It’s true.

Sheree Fletcher: (swoons) Our vaginas?

Jessica Canseco: You want me to get into all of this?

Sheree Fletcher: They complain about our vaginas to white girls? Read the Post Awkward: When Your Friends Make Racist Assumptions About Your Dating/Sex Life