by Latoya Peterson
First things first. Quite a few people reached out to me to say that they did not have enough time to get their piece in by the deadline, are in the middle of drafts, or otherwise working hard on what they want to say. Since the blog carnival idea didn’t work so well (we only got submissions to host on Racialicious, most of those anonymously), I’ve decided to make Love, Anonymously a permanent series here on Racialicious. I would still love to get some comics or videos or other ways of expressing a feeling, if anyone wanted to do something to that end.
I also wanted to talk a bit about the intent for this series, since we’re starting to see some very familiar issues in the comments section.
Love, Anonymously is intended to be a space for people to talk about the messier parts of sex. Since there is such a dearth of conversation about sex from people of color, we wanted to create a little bank of content, so for folks shooting around the internet feeling like they really are conflicted about something or want to discuss something, suddenly, it is here.
The problem is, love and sex aren’t clear cut things. And when you add race, sexuality, religion, and other things to the mix, it brings out some fairly strong emotions in people. And while it is fine to disagree with a sentiment, a belief, or other comments someone may make in a piece, what is not okay is to attack them personally for it.
Personal attacks are obnoxious, and from an editor’s standpoint, are counterproductive. Many people are reluctant to talk about sex publicly. We all know there a lot at stake and that the internet runs on cruelty. When I originally came up with this idea, I reached out to 30 solid writers and friends of Racialicious to see if they wanted to contribute. And for most people, the initial answer was no. Digging into the why of it all brought out a list of fears: fear of being judged, for one. Fear of backlash. Fears around safety. Fears about creating a false level of intimacy with the reader.
But the biggest was the fear that one’s personal image will be linked with sex. Continue reading