Category Archives: Fangbangers Anonymous

Breaking Dawn All In Our Faces: True Blood S4, E7

Everyone has an off week. After coming back from NABJ, I barely woke up in time for True Blood, and spent the episode confusedly blinking at the TV through a wine hangover haze. And this week went to hell thanks to the post-NABJ/pre-AAJA ramp up. (I’m finishing this from my busted laptop in Detroit.) But never fear! Amber, Kendra, Joe, Alea and Jordan took on the heavy lifting.

Pregame

Amber: Hopefully they expand on black woman ghost/angel tonight. I just got way more interested in this Terry and Arlene storyline.
Latoya: @Amber -right? But we are probably stuck with Sookie/Eric. Soeric? Ekie?
Amber: Lol. She did only make a brief appearance.

Antonia

Latoya: Antonia is running shit.
Alea: I cannot believe that Luis would even approach her after what she did to Eric and Pam. Vampires acting way too hastily is totally one of the themes of this season.
Joe: It seems that girls who look like Evan Rachel wood don’t have too much luck on this show.
Kendra: I kind of feel bad for Marnie so far. classic case of messing with ish you have no business trying to control.
Jordan: Yeah, they messed with the wrong witch on that one
Amber: Agreed. There’s just no way Marnie is going to make it out of this OK.
Latoya : @Kendra- Yeah, she should have watched the craft
Amber: Lol.
Jordan: Not feeling bad for Marnie so much as I feel like Antonia gave her plenty of time to back out and everyone around her was screaming warnings at her. I just feel like she didn’t have proper respect for the power she wanted and the cost.
Alea: Cosign.
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The Moon is Made of Cheese: True Blood Roundtable S4, E6

Well look what we found over here!

Some plot development, hidden under this pile of Eric’s old euro-club clothes! Spots were blown, long standing tensions were aired out, and two people were possessed! Amber, Jordan, Joe, and Alea join me to make sense of all the “Vampire Business.”

Tommy Switches Skins, Wreaks Havoc

Sam/Tommy

Amber: Oh yes, Tommy is totally skin walking…here we go.
Latoya: So they are making Tommy’s plot more explicit…But I thought that was a Native thing?
Jordan: Oh…. looks like the skinwalkers legend is coming to pass
Latoya: Do myths transfer ethnicity?
Jordan: Maybe just the NA were hip to it but I am guessing it applies to all shifters
Amber: Apparently…looks like they’re going to overlook the “native thing.” How convenient.
Jordan: These two are a weird pair… tried to kill each other, buried their parents… now what
Alea: Viewing compatriot No. 2 expressly desires for me to say that she loathes Tommy with the fire of a billion, trillion exploding suns. My disdain is only fueled by a dozen or so.
Latoya: OMG. Alea.
Alea: Aaaaaaand Tommy can turn into Sam. That’s going to cause so much trouble so very soon.
Amber: ….is that the way it’s supposed to happen? I thought you change into who you kill…no?
Latoya: Skin walking shennigans! But not like Freaky Friday, methinks.
Jordan: no… not with these two

Later…

Latoya: Sookie’s selfishness astounds me yet again. But, LMAO at Tommy going hard. Lord is everyone getting aired out today?
Alea: “I don’t get why people are always treating you like you’re special. Think you’d come in here and shake your blond ponytail?” I about fell off the couch. Fan service?
Jordan: This is what this show needs… Let’s keep it going… who is next
Amber: Agreed. Next on the chopping block: Jessica * side-eye *
Latoya: ooooh
Jordan: oh…. jess, andy… take your pick
Latoya: And, proving turnabout is fair play, Tommy just got aired out by Hoyt’s momma. It’s laundry day in Bon Temps!
Alea: Calling him stupid is going to trigger some bad behavior on Tommy’s part. He was really proud of attempting to learn how to read.

Still later…

Amber: Oh Tommy…don’t be stupid.
Jordan: Oh honey….
Latoya: ….In Tommy’s defense, he is a teen.
Amber: Well [sleeping with Luna] just ruined the brotherly love that was going on b/w him and Sam.
Alea: Yeah, it didn’t take very long for that situation to go from middling to fucking terrible. And, of course, Luna comes back now, when Tommy is pretending to be Sam. She’s just a plot device, which is too bad, because she could be way more.
Latoya: … I thought Luna was gonna say Tommy is a premature ejaculator.
Jordan: Tommy is just taking a wrecking ball to Sam’s female relationships
Alea: Sure is, which is not unexpected.
Amber: Aw, does he have to go and ruin Sam’s life? He always manages to make horrible choices and in turn create horrible outcomes for himself. Now, that sounds like Tommy.
Jordan: riddle me this can Tommy turn into animals anymore?
Amber: I think so. Luna still can
Jordan: good point
Amber: Although it seems as if their shifting works differently. She only actually shifted into her mother, who she “killed.” I don’t think she mentioned shifting into anyone else.

King Bill Has a Dilemma

Bill Sookie Eric


Latoya: Oh lord
Jordan: Vampire business
Amber: Oh, spare me
Joe: Whenever Bill says vampire business, it reminds me of when Don Draper or Roger Sterling on Mad Men say something equally chauvinistic to get their women to stop complaining.
Latoya: Right? And oh look, the music returns for the Sookie-Eric hook up.
Alea: Again with the Zales commercial music; this is ridiculous.
Jordan: they are ruining it
Alea: Their twee-ass banter sucks so hard. It’s like an awful teenage romance novel. Nicholas Sparks with fucking?
Latoya: Waiting for Bill to fuck all this up by walking in…
Jordan: She should wait and have sex with the real eric, not this pale imposter
Amber: Yes! Agreed.
Latoya: LMAO
Alea: Lol. One of my viewing compatriots was like, “Maybe Eric is faking this whole thing to get into Sookie’s pants?” Cue “My liege” and that was rescinded.
Amber: Right on time, Bill…
Jordan: oh that’s right I forgot Eric could totally take Bill in a fight
Joe: If he can still fight like this, I’m sure he can do everything else the same too… I’m the only one who likes this Eric, aren’t I? LOL
Alea: No, I kind of lurve this Eric super hard. He’s got the conscientious, emotionally honest thing down pat.
Amber: LOL
Latoya: I think this is the first time I’ve been Team Bill all series. …And Sookie, you just set Eric up. For the True Death. Great move.
Alea: Sookie pulled the “if you ever loved me” card pretty quickly.
Alea:“Beeel! This is wrong!”
Jordan: That suit on Bill is killing me. It’s like on Angel when the black guy got all wrapped up in evil brains and power and started wearing three piece numbers…Give up the suit Bill remember who you are
Latoya: @Jordan – Hmm, never got that far. Stopped after they killed Doyle.
Alea: Lol.
Amber: Oh, but he’s got to look the part…looks like he got rid of all the black jeans and cowboy boots that seemed to be his previous go to. …And…the sundress is back on.
Latoya: LOL
Jordan: Preach Bill!
Latoya: LMAO go Bill
Jordan: Thank god someone has some sense
Amber: Woo, he’s going in! “…what and who is between your legs” SHADE.
Alea: I know, right? Who knew that Bill could throw it.
Jordan: don’t let her defang you. You have sanity on your side
Latoya: The break up scene.Ooh, that vampire business for that ass!
Jordan: Bill seems to have inherited Eric’s mojo
Amber: OK King Bill, flex those muscles.
Latoya: Guess Sookie’s wheat spoiled.
Jordan: HA
Alea: Ice burrrrrrn.
Amber: Lol. So, what is she now…more like processed white bread?
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The Devil in Sookie Stackhouse: True Blood Roundtable S4, E5

Back when Tionna Smalls had a column  in Gawker, she warned one  foolish women away from the wrong man by asking “Is that all you want out of your life—hard dick and bubblegum?” Swap bubble gum for vampire bites, and that is Sookie. I need to ask Arturo about the moment that he knew Heroes was going down the drain.  Part of me feels like the vaguely orchestral swell when Eric and Sookie defy all logic and kiss is the beginning of the end.  Moreover, Alan Ball is exhibiting some disturbingly Tim Kring-like statements about future plot arcs…and saying Jason’s gang rape was his favorite part of the season.  While we are over here in a state of fanguish hoping True Blood hasn’t jumped the shark, Kendra Pettis, Alea Adigweme, Joseph Lamour, Amber Jones and Jordan St. John join me to solve the biggest mystery of the season: What the fuck is Sookie smoking?

Random

Sookie Highlights

Latoya: Sookie’s hair is nicer this season.  I just noticed that
Jordan: Yeah… i think everyone took a trip to the beauty shop – Laffy and Tara both have new dos
Amber: Yep, it seems everyone got a makeover this season. Arlene set up an appointment too and got that hair color refreshed and deepened.
Joe: And Crystal’s hair last week looked fanTASTIC. Two snaps TB hairdressers.

Tommy & Sam, for Better or Worse

Tommy and Sam

Jordan: Uh-oh…Guess that violent streak runs in the family
Alea: Damn.  Violence definitely seems to be a frequent occurrence in that family, but Tommy was acting in self-defense for a good part of it.
Jordan: What is it with them and trying to/killing family members…
Amber: Yeaaah. To be so stuck on “loyalty” they seriously have no qualms about fear and punishment. It’s sad that poor Tommy felt like he had no other choice. Joe Lee’s death = freedom (and crazy mama had to get in the way…). It’s so similar to Hotshot. Disobedience = (violent) punishment and freedom means someone has to die.
Alea: That’s a keen reading, Amber.  The “freedom = someone else’s death meme” seems very specific to the familial situations of those marked as more “southern white trash” than the rest of Bon Temps.
Latoya: Yeah, there’s an assimilation narrative to be unpacked there, but I’m trying to dredge up some sorrow…or something.
Alea: Yeah…..no.
Kendra: Hah.
Amber: Yeah…I got nothing.
Alea: Though I do feel bad for his mother, and I don’t really blame Tommy for her death.  She wouldn’t have gotten in the way if she hadn’t been brainwashed by an abusive partner.
Latoya: Be cool if Tommy became the season 5 big bad. I’m calling it early.
Kendra: (I never realised how many above the title/regulars this show has. Gosh) Continue reading

Barely Alive, and Only Alcide was On Fire: True Blood Roundtable S4, E4

This episode was fairly short on plot – most of the crew agreed that this was an episode designed to move the plot forward. However, there was one thing this episode had a plenty – fanservice! Joseph Lamour, Kendra Pettis, Jordan St. John, Alea Adigweme and Amber Jones join me to shake our heads at Sookie and start our support group.


On the rape and rescue of Jason Stackhouse…

HotShot Women

Joseph: Man, a two episode rape arc? This is worse than SVU.
Kendra: @Joseph, Should we really be surprised? Tara had practically a full season rape arc last season. For Ball & Co. this is old hat at this point.
Latoya: Will someone please save Jason?
Jordan: brother husband?
Alea: Eek.
Amber: @Jordan Right?! They are killing me with these familial titles. The writers keep overemphasizing the incest that takes place within Hotshot…you know, just in case we forgot about it since last season or something…
Latoya:
Jordan: ewwwww… on a number of different levels
Latoya: Jason is being gang raped ON TV!
Alea: “Next.” Called it last week. Jason’s being “married” to all the ladies of Hotshot.
Joseph: I wonder if the writers have a “Big Book of White Trash Stereotypes” they dig into when these Hotshot people need to speak
Latoya: @Joseph – Yes, clearly.
Amber: @Joseph OMG they definitely do and they keep it on the bookshelf right next to “Upholding the Cult of True Womanhood: A Handbook” and “On Screen Torture Using American Slavery References.” Continue reading

White Womanhood Smells Like Wheat and Sunshine? True Blood Roundtable S4, E3

This was a rough week for the rountable – cable outages, deadlines, and Christian bar owners threw off all our watching schedules, and this episode was full of enough set-ups to keep us talking for hours. Alea Adigweme, Joseph Lamour, Kendra Pettis, Amber Jones, and Jordan St. John join me to provide the rundown on misplaced loyalties, the acrid sting of betrayal, and the evolving Wind Done Gone relationship between Tara and Sookie.

Pre-Show Chatter

Latoya: We have to talk about the person who is rumored to die. I feel like we need to start prepping Tara eulogies
Kendra: I think it might be Lafayette… granted, it’s positive to be one of the two.
Jordan: Ahhh Tara… I was just starting to really like her…
Jordan: I’ll miss Tara if she goes, we had so little time with her
Amber: It’s so unfair that it’s bound to be one of the two of them. :(
Kendra: I think if we’re thrown a curveball, it’ll be Sam
Latoya: I was thinking Hoyt would be the curve
Kendra: Okay so, apparently Tara is going to be the only free woman this season. Watch it get her killed. (And since as of the AM of 7/11 Miss. Rutina’s been cast in an off Broadway show, I’m a little more convinced that’ll be happening.)

Eric and Sookie Are Special Friends

Eric and Sook

Latoya: ooh, starting with Eric!!!
Jordan: A moment of appreciation for Eric’s abs…. okay….done
Latoya: … Sookie smells “like wheat, honey, and sunlight?” Damn, that is white womanhood.
Joe: “… and cotton, horseback riding, hats with horns, linen, tide with bleach…”
Alea: I know, right? Eau de white lady. I wonder if a spritz of that would get more white people to treat me not like crap.
Amber: Lol. I can’t.
Latoya: Yeah, I just laughed when Eric went for her neck
Jordan: Wheat is an interesting choice for me. I would have thought flowers or something softer…
Joe: Tide with fabric softener.
Jordan: Wheat, I associate with work.
Joe: I hear fiddles and the “beef its whats for dinner” song when I think of wheat.
Latoya: I can see wheat. Smells like bread, the heartland, etc…
Joe: I guess heartland might be the word for it. LOL
Jordan: true, women’s work
Latoya: Baked bread is enticing man. If they are saying Sook smells like a buttered roll, I now kind of understand the obsession. It’d be like a warm breadbasket following you around town.
Latoya: “Would you like to be mine?” Eric is really strange while polite.
Alea: So. Charming. Skarsgård does the vacant, little-boy-lost thing so heartmeltingly well.
Latoya: He’s like Spike with the chip in.
Alea: Exactly like Spike with the chip in! They’ve cribbed a lot from BtVS in these first few episodes.
Alea: “What are you?” — a question loathed by multiracial people everywhere [and Sookie, in this universe at least, is multiracial in a way].
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