Meanwhile, back in Bon Temps, True Blood hit the ground running this week. Lucky for us, so did our Roundtable. Discussing the proceedings this week are Alea Adigweme, Kendra James, Jordan St. John, Joseph Lamour, and Tami Winfrey Harris to discuss Bill and Eric’sexcellent adventurealliance, the new threats awaiting Sookie, and give their take on what’s going on between Eric and…his sister. Sort of.
Alea: Watching Eric play housemaid is kinda hilarious. Jordan: Love that Eric kept his outfit on, just added those purple gloves and doesn’t have a spec of blood on him. Joe: That fast forward cleaning was pretty delightful. Jordan: Ohhh, that would come in handy. Wouldn’t it be lovely if you could speed up some tasks in life? I don’t think I would ever have a reason to clean up vampire guts super quickly but it would be nice to know that I could. Kendra: So, is “f-ck Sookie” going to be the theme of the season then? Because I could be okay with that. Tami: It’s my theme for every season. How’s that? Continue reading →
Welcome back to another year of picking apart Everybody Loves SookehTrue Blood!
With the season premiere looming on Sunday, we’ve gathered together EIC Latoya Peterson, longtime friend of the R Tami Winfrey Harris and Guest Contributor Kendra James to get the ball rolling on the analysis–including their wishes, predictions, and issues with the trailers heading into this season.
Tami: Real talk. If Tara doesn’t come back as a ghost or zombie or some shit, Alan Ball is dead to me! Continue reading →
Brown Folks Cain’t Never Have Nothin’! Especially not in the season finale! We’ve been waiting for the shoe to drop all season, but they ended up dropping a crate from Zappos on us. Kendra, Joe, Alea, Amber, and Jordan joined me to parse out our feelings – and you may want to grab a snack and clear out some time. Just when you thought they couldn’t top the fleeing from the plantation scene…
Kendra: oh sweet, we get some nudity this ep. Joseph: I got my hot chocolate, my Luray Caverns fudge and I’m ready to bitch! Latoya: You know, this cut to Marnie!Laffy was a bit anticlimatic for the season ender. Alea: Yes. Too many damn storylines this season. Andy and the Faerie; Sam and Luna playing house–the writers are all over the place. Jordan: They could do a whole season on the stuff from this season on Latoya: We aren’t gonna finish everyone Kendra: Oh, can we take bets now on whether the Were Panthers will be back? Because… where on earth did that thread even go? Latoya: Hmm. That’s tough to call. Next season? Amber: Right. I think Ball is hoping we forgot about HotShot and is waiting to hit us over the head with something next season. After all that build up, that storyline can’t just be over…right? Alea: Probably, but I feel like its expiration date will have passed by then. There’s way more interesting stuff going on. Latoya: You know? there’s the Pam-Eric split; the Alcide fall out; the BilEkie drama, Jason-Jessica.
Kendra: Tara’s an Atheist! Alea: Score one for non-Christian black folks. Kendra: Tara’s… back? well, for once she might be safer with Sook than Laffy. Latoya: Look Ball, I would have appreciated this nice touching coffee scene about three seasons ago. Jordan: The loyal black sidekick…always there to talk to you about your problems over coffee. Amber: Loyalty is an understatement. We’re right back where we started with these two, as if no serious drama just went down. Latoya: “[Gran] did have all the sense in the family.” Damn Tara, burn. Alea: She speaks the truth. Kendra: “Be good to each other.” Advice more for Sookie than Tara… Jordan: Ummmm… and just like that we’re all good Alea: Tara’s magical, so she has the ability to fix any problem through humor, down home wisdom, and self-sacrifice. Latoya: Never thought I’d say this, but I miss attitude Tara.
Amber: @ Alea @Jordan Mammy anyone? Latoya: This is the stangest friendship ever.
Sam & Luna
Kendra: Sam does clean up nice. (But his dress shirt has pockets on both sides >.>) Alea: [Totally. I love that his idea of formal funeral wear is adding a black tie and sport coat to the type of shirt he wears every single day.] Amber: Complete with cowboys boots and a gold plated belt buckle. He pulled out the big guns for this special occasion. Lol. Latoya: I love watching Sam trying to process Ms. Thortenberry’s confessions Alea: “Nobody taught Tommy how to love somebody without hurting them” — combined with Thortenberry’s litany of shit-Tommy-stole, that’s a pretty apposite eulogy, right there. Jordan: I think all Sam does are strange friendships Alea: Absolutely, Jordan. Joseph: thats probably cause its a western shirt (fashion correspondent strikes again!) Latoya: Pork Rind Casserole just sounds all kinda nasty. Amber: Agreed–like a crunchy soggy mess. * shudder * Alea: I do not imagine her to be a very good cook. Alea: Dear god. Which is worse — no family or Mama T? Joseph: all her dishes sound (and look) unpleasantly mushy Alea: That’s a casserole for you, a genre of food around which I still have difficulty wrapping my mind. Latoya: So the Skinwalker moment for Luna and Sam has passed I suppose. Kendra: Oooh, I like the end of that scene. I think Sam may have a new family, Mama Thortenberry. Continue reading →
Sorry people, we ran out of time this week to finish formatting the final roundtable. (And y’all know we were yelling our heads off at the finale.) Tune in next week for the last roundtable and a couple surprises. Until then, chew on this:
Well I mean half my head is missing. I’m just gonna keep saying that. You know, it’s True Blood. I feel like anything is possible. If anything, it is the golden hour though. If she is able to be saved, it’s like she’s got 20 seconds. It’s not a lot of time. I’m curious to see what they’re going to do with all of it. I hope I’m back. But again half my head is missing [laughs].
Maybe Tara will just wear a lot of hats? Yeah I mean yeah she can wear a lot of hats. Put some gauze on it. But people are going crazy! [Laughs]
It was crazy! Are people approaching you? Well my phone has been blowing up. I talked to Nelsan and his phone was blowing up. He was like, “People are about to start a riot over you.” I think that’s so sweet to know that people out there are really upset and some people are like, “I’m not watching the show anymore!” I’m like, C’mon guys. But it’s not over. It ain’t over til the fat lady sings. I’m just gonna take it one day at a time. As I said, I haven’t seen any scripts from next season, but I know that I’m involved — I just don’t know in what way.
Are you signed on for a season 5? Yeah. It’s out there that Alan has already said that he has big plans for Tara. But things change. I don’t know exactly what they have in store for me and how long that will be. It’s tricky. And if I did know, I’m just not going to say. [Laughs]
Labor Day weekend meant the entire roundtable was off doing summery things and not thinking about Sookie and her foolishness. So by the time a few of us dragged ourselves away from summer and back into school/work/life, we realized the usual level of snark was off this week. Our slimmed down roundtable has no cross chat – and a bit less bite. But don’t despair – we’re planning something huge and ridiculous for the finale. Until then, Kendra and Amber join me to poke at the plot emerging from the randomness that is Alan Ball’s plot chrysalis.
Vamping it Up
Latoya: This is what PMS used to feel like? I got a mani-pedi at four? This is the True Blood I signed up for! Marnie has officially flipped a shit. Kendra: I have to agree with the sentiment of “fucking Sookie.” I think it sums up what we’ve all been feeling for the majority of the season, and will choose to believe that’s the writers understanding our gripes. Latoya: Oooh…the fucking Sookie comments set Jason off. And he’s attacking the menfolk. Jason is a great brother.
Case of the Missing Baby, Redux
Latoya: Wow. Judas!Debbie does have some kind of a heart left. She essentially said to Marcus, “I was just fucking you homes, I was gonna get right back.” Kendra: Drug addictions cured by children? Marcus’ logic is… questionable. Amber: Tell me about it. I didn’t think Marcus had coward in him, but Alcide called it from the jump. He’s managed to murder, kidnap, and homewreck all in a matter of hours–that may be a Bon Temp record. If he can flee the scene of the crime (with Debbie) I’ll give him a standing ovation. Kendra: Oh hell, did one of those bullets just kill Emma or Luna? And I am loving that they’re actually using abjuring as it was from the books. Latoya: Damn, this was a rough ass ending to their story. That poor princess baby. Amber: That was a rough ending. When Emma hugged Sam I realized that no one considered her when they decided how to deal with Marcus. Although they won’t miss him, Emma really will…always. They’ve changed her life forever. Continue reading →
This ep is called “Burning Down the House” – and if it means that they are going to keep actually moving the show plot points along, then we don’t need no water, let the motherfucker burn! Jordan, Joe, and Alea join me this week for a surprisingly sad goodbye, post-breakup angst, and demented fantasy karaoke.
Jordan: When did Bill pick up these handy shooting skills? Latoya: Oh Nan, that was really classic Buffy of you. Pencil staking, ha!
Joseph: And Marnie just used the word slaves to refer to a race of people. Marnie, notsogood. Jordan: Oh, the old Eric seems to be coming back. I wonder if he will show proper shame for the pathetic sappy creature he’s been the past couple weeks Latoya: Finally, fairy powers re-emerge Jordan: I know… Sookie really needs to train those up so they can be of some use Latoya: And thank God, – I couldn’t take another week of baby Eric Jordan: Call me a crazy feminist, but if I had powers like that in a place like BT, I would take some time to develop them. Seems like a more worthwhile investment in my safety than say playing house with one vamp after another Latoya: @Jordan – right – isn’t there normally a scene where people learn to use their powers? In oh, every single superhuman thing ever. Jordan: Then again, thinking about anything unrelated to her undead paramours seems beyond Sookie. Joseph: I dont think I can take much more of The Sweet Kissy Corner Hour with Sookie and Eric. Jordan: Wait I just saw a glimpse…ERIC!!!! The real ERIC! I love Nan always the PR Woman Latoya: Right! Let the glamouring begin!
Jessica and Jason, Post Hook Up
Jordan: Jessica, let’s not try to rationalize Latoya: Jason is in leather. Jordan: He’s turned to the darkside and has the wardrobe to prove it. We’re all grown up boys and girls here Latoya: Oh lord, Jessica – Jason is trying to explain how important Hoyt is to him Joseph: I think Allsaints must be sending them stuff. Cause when I have half the wardrobe of a TV show, either I spend too much money or they have some sort of deal. Latoya: Wait, wait, wait – Jason is asking to be glamoured, and she has the NERVE to get on her high horse? Joseph: or both Jordan: Oh yes, Jessica has taken flawed logic to the next level. If we are going to feel guilty, we’re going to feel it together dammit! Continue reading →
We’re coming in on the end of the season – and no one has died yet. Tragic that we’re all waiting for a character to bite the dust, but the Roundtable is in full agreement: Enough is enough! We have had it with these motherfuckin’ side plots on this motherfuckin’ show! Jordan, Alea, Amber, Kendra, and Joe have agreed to help me storm the HBO compound in search of Alan Ball – our nefarious plans have yet to be developed, since we were too busy trying to analyze the plot.
Sookie Almost Dies (For 10 Mins…)
Latoya: Man, this ep better not be a save Sookie ep. I have not one iota of sympathy. Jordan: yeah but we are in the minority Latoya: Oooh, Bill said fuck! At least one good thing came out of this. Amber: Oh we all know she’s gonna be ok…c’mon. Kendra: Bill is looking his age. Amber: Stop freaking out, Bill Latoya: “We can pray” – really, Bill? Jordan: I literally just yelled that at my screen. REALLY? Kendra: Admittedly, I’m glad Sookie is out cold, because my dad has decided to watch with me and I really don’t need him to see the Sookie/Eric show. Amber: lol Jordan: Ha, not family viewing Latoya: LMAO – seriously, Kendra. We need someone to have pants on this week. Joe: Hi all, this is me arriving fashionably late. Jordan: you didn’t miss anything. Kendra: ...That didn’t last nearly long enough. I was seriously expecting an hour long dreamscape of Sookie’s recovery.
Eric’s Possessed Again
Jordan: Someone really needs to get Eric some better clothes Latoya: He’s just a pretty puppet this season Jordan: I love Antonia’s jacket Latoya: Antonia/Marnie is tripping Amber: That denim jacket on Eric isn’t working. I see he’s keeping up with the lumberjack viking theme. Kendra: I am beginning to love Merlotts Wiccan Waitress Woman. Jordan: have they all forgotten they are speaking with a woman who dies hundreds of years ago… Latoya: LMAO right! Joseph: Uh oh… and she crosses the bend! Hurray! Latoya: And OMG, this is totally some Craft second act shit Amber: Oh see….this is where it becomes just like the Craft. It’s all gravy until someone says YOU CAN’T leave. Jordan: oh look, we have all realized we are in waaaaay over our heads… nice Alea: It’s all fun and games until Manon comes to town. Latoya: Now I’m just waiting for them to have a flash back with Tara’s nappy hair… Joseph:LOL Latoya
In Which Alcide Realizes He Didn’t Move Far Enough
Jordan: May I wake up to such a sight one day. Alcide is a vision. Amber: I’m glad she’s already up. I couldn’t take 40 min of trying to revive her. Alea: Alcide should have been done forever ago. Latoya: Hell yeah Alcide! Leave her ass! Kendra: He’ll be back. Latoya: No more wheat beer for the werewolves Jordan: She’s got a lot of blood mixing around in there now…Bill and Eric. Joseph : Did we hear Alcide has been cast in Channing tatum’s life story as a stripper? Latoya: Word? Who has the DVR? Jordan: and it’s both fresh Latoya: @Jordan – She is now more vamp than Fae. Amber: @Jordan Truth. All that blood mixing is going to make for some cray cray dream fantasies. Jordan: Ha. I wish. Someone should turn her already Alea:The deep, physical ties to two different men — and their psychotropic effects — are so convenient. [It reminds me of Anita Blake.] strong>Joseph: @Jordan, I wonder if that’ll happen. In the books she is adamant about not wanting to be a vamp, but this Sookie is so … wishy washy.
Sam to The Rescue
Alea: Why is Sam always looking for problems? Other people’s problems? Jordan: Sam has a white knight complex Alea: Totally. Latoya: @Alea – Yeah, the “let’s nobody be here” solution seems flawed Kendra: Are they forgetting that Marcus could just… track them? Why do people keep forgetting various preternatural powers on this show? Alea: Exactly! Latoya: @Kendra – He’s really offering tent sex. Continue reading →
I was really about to title this roundtable “Fuck the Pain Away“, in honor of Sookie and Eric’s quest to have sex for the rest of the season. But that wouldn’t be fair to Skinwalking Tommy, the Marcus-Luna-Sam triangle, or Lafayette’s new drama. Kendra, Joe, Jordan, and Amber, join me to keep poking at True Blood plotlines.
Latoya: Just rewatched last week’s ep – did anyone else hear the gunshot right before Jess opened the door? Kendra: If I did, I’d forgotten. Whoops. Joe: Yeah, I assumed it was Jason shooting that idiot guard or Jason being shot at running to protect his hot ginge. And you know, just to blab some more: Reflecting on about the ending of last weeks episode, it reminded me of a quality of television not unlike Six Feet Under. Which, as we know, tends to not be true with this show. Message to Alan Ball: Schmaltzy pillow talk: bad. Drama, like this: good. Speaking of–
Jessica and Jason? Oh Boy…
Latoya: Oooh starting with Jess! Jordan: Oh look, he got her. Jason pulled a nice save on that. Kendra: They couldn’t possibly leave us hanging after last week! Latoya: Jason Fucking Stackhouse. Oh wait – once again, bad plan. Amber: This is sad. Hoyt is such a great guy and he’s inevitably going to get screwed over by the love of his life and his best friend. WOMP. Kendra: Good intentions… just always forgets to think things through. It’s a constant with him, even with how much he’s matured. (Speaking of, I keep forgetting they jumped ahead a year.) Latoya: Marnie and them had some serious timing when they stopped the chant. So wait – Jess didn’t die and Jase didn’t die…so the suspense continues. Joe: Aaaand the only vampire that’s died so far is black. How very Black Dude Dies First of you, TB. Kendra: Well, I officially support this relationship now, despite how badly this will end. Latoya: Will someone please think of Hoyt? Jordan: Back in the silver I guess Kendra: The SFX makeup people are really making their money this season. Latoya: LMAO Jordan: indeed. bless jason’s heart. He’s really trying to do the right thing by him. Boy code in action Latoya: And damn, does this mean Jase killed the guard outside?
Latoya: And all of this is getting really morally messy. And the new pack leader is kinda hilarious Kendra: “No you wouldn’t, you would be dead.” Most sensible person on the show, TBH. Jordan: Hmmm… new pack leader seems a bit smarter than I gave him credit for Latoya: Right? Marcus is the first sensible person I have seen on this show yet! Amber: Agreed. I am very impressed with his speech. Maybe the pack won’t be so bad for Alcide and Debbie after all…at least dude is not trying to get anyone killed. Jordan: The speaking sense mantle has been passed Latoya: Debbie is boning Marcus, isn’t she? If she hasn’t started, she will. Jordan: I love how Alicide towers over all of them Kendra: Alcide is on his way to First Mate status in the pack. Jordan: Debbie can’t handle it, she needs her men a little rougher around Latoya: Nah, you know he’s about to throw it all out the window for some sweet sunshine and spoiled wheat. Jordan: Ahhh.. back to Sookie Kendra: Staying away from Sookie is generally the best way for anyone to stay alive. Amber: And yet no one has learned that…except maybe Tara? But I have a feeling she’ll be running back too once it’s all over–if she doesn’t end up dead, that is. Continue reading →
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