by Joseph Lamour
So, everyone… like… I’m annoyed.
Here are the reasons I am annoyed, because I cannot bear to recap this season finale in my typical way, since nothing happened, and everything happened (that I did not want to happen.) As a fan of The Governor arc… I am sad. And annoyed. Don’t forget annoyed.
MAJOR SPOILERS for The Walking Dead 3.16: “Welcome To The Tombs” are under the cut…
And now, for the questions:
Why didn’t Milton, after being beaten and stabbed by The Governor, stab himself in the ear or the eye with something? Since he knew Andrea was going to be his first post zombie meal, he could have done something to ensure his not eating her so quickly like…
Maybe if he didn’t have the strength to end himself, maybe tying his leg or arm to the pipe near him?
Or, pull his pants down so he couldn’t get up?
Or something, depending on his energy level.
This way, at the end of the episode, he wouldn’t have died, zombied, then chewed on her shoulder, leaving her to shoot herself in the head. RIP Andrea, and RIP Milton, you terrible planners you.
In other news, it looks like I was right about Carol. She’s the new Andrea.
Also, why didn’t the giant army of Woodbury citizens, upon finding where the Atlanta survivors were guerilla-ing, shoot that enormous rocket launcher they used to blow up the watchtowers? Like… right into Maggie and Glenn’s faces? Not that I want those lovebirds dead, but… the motives and actions of every single character in this episode proved terribly confusing. Related gunfight questions…
Why did the Woodburies run away when only some of them could have been affected by that tear gas? If they were all affected by that tear gas, who was driving the cars away? I can only assume this retreat was to imply that they were all unprepared for war, instead of how it is in the graphic novel: a bunch of people fighting tooth and nail for their lives. I guess this is more realistic, but…it’s not good.
Why didn’t that kid Carl shot just put the gun down like a normal person? Why was he putting it down towards Carl and Herschel like he somehow was going to magically put the rifle back into shooting position and kill two people before they got a shot off even though their firearms were already drawn? Why doesn’t somebody just pour a bucket of cold water on Carl and tell him to get it together?
Why did none of the 12 or so armed Woodbury citizens turn around at any point and shoot The Governor as he massacred all of them? I mean…at least try. Why didn’t Schupert and Martinez shoot The Governor? I know you all will reply that they were shocked and scared and #woeisme but, not one of them? How are people so hypnotized by him that multiple people will let all of their friends be shot! in! the! face! and then allow themselves to also be shot in the face…Allen?
Why didn’t Allen shoot The Governor after he gave him eight seconds (I counted… angrily) to shoot him?
Two more Andrea questions, while I’m at it:
How did Zombie Milton chew on her shoulder while she was wearing a coat?
When did Andrea have time to do her toenails in Wet n’ Wild Coconut Creme?
Why did they move the citizens of Woodbury to the prison, when they realized that 20+ is a bigger number than 3? Since Paula is a part of the group now (she could be the new Andrea, since she showed some smarts in playing dead, and the book Andrea was smart) With the plot how it is now, they have no reason to leave the prison or Woodbury. So what’s going to be different next season since… well…
The Governor, you guys! For my biggest question: Why isn’t The Governor dead?
My biggest pet peeve is when everyone is expecting something to happen, and then it doesn’t. The one person who was supposed to perish during this episode was The Governor. Instead, about 16 people and 240 zombies did. This is okay if the story surprises or amazes, but last night, that didn’t happen for me. The season finale here reminded me of another AMC show that needs to get a clue: The Killing. Remember Season 1? Sickening.
I think I’ve calmed down now that I’ve asked all of my questions. Do any of you have any questions regarding the ridiculosity on display last night?