Video: Franchesca Ramsey’s Powerful ‘How Slut Shaming Becomes Victim Blaming’

December 19th, 2012 by Arturo

I’m making this video because there are women that speak out about experiences that have happened to them, about their rape experiences. And time and again, everyone tells them, “Well, it was your fault. You shouldn’t have done this, you shouldn’t have done that.” No. Can we stop telling girls that they “shouldn’t get raped” and instead tell men to stop fucking raping women and to stop taking advantage of women?

And, you mean, you see it all the time. Most recently, there was a young woman who was 11 years old, I think it was in Texas. She was gang-raped by 20 guys. Eleven years old. The New York Times writes a story about it, and for some reason, the story continues to focus on how much makeup this young woman wore, how late she stayed out, and how “grown-up” and “sexily” she dressed. She was 11 and 20 guys raped her, and somehow it’s her fault.

You can be the “perfect person” and still get raped, and it would not be your fault. The same way you could make “tons of bad decisions” and engage in risky behavior on a daily basis, and if someone rapes you, it is the rapist’s fault, not yours.

I wish someone had said that to me. I wish I’d had someone that told me that it wasn’t my fault, that I should speak up.

(My camera stopped in the middle. It was like, “You’ve said enough!”)

It’s just scary to think how many women and girls have been in this same position and haven’t said something, or have been discouraged from saying something, because they in some way, shape, or form felt like it was their fault. Across the board, the only constant–because there are so many different scenarios where someone could be a victim of abuse; not just women, men, as well–the only constant is that person that makes the bad decision to hurt someone else.

I do think that it’s really great that Jenna touched on the idea of looking out for one another. If you see a woman that is in a potentially dangerous situation at a bar or what have you, there’s no reason that you can’t step and try to help her out. But, what I would add to that is, it shouldn’t just be a woman’s responsibility to look out for other women; there’s no reason that a guy can’t step in at a bar and say, “Hey dude, this girl is wasted, I don’t think she wants to go home with you. Let’s put her in a cab.”

One of the comments that was left on my Facebook page that I really liked was made by a young woman by the name of Regina, and she said something along the lines of, “It’s important to help victims, but it’s also important to prevent victims from happening.” And I really liked that because it’s not probably a good idea for anyone to blackout drunk, and I say that as someone speaking from experience.

I hope that I’ve added another perspective to this conversation in just kind of explaining why it’s important that we move away from slut-shaming and that we also promote being smart and being responsible to everyone, not just with a focus on women. There are people of all spectrums and walks of life that are affected by sexual assault and abuse, and the best way to prevent it and to make sure that those who are responsible are held accountable is to stop blaming our victims and to continue being smart and finding ways to protect ourselves and protect each other. I’ll see you guys later.