Though I was never treated for a specific major depressive disorder, I have had painful bouts with depression and anxiety through the years–and encounters with careless doctors who bypassed obvious symptoms due to their own silly biases. Less than a year ago there was a period where I feared standing up would invite the kind of pain sure to knock me down. During one week in particular, each new day brought on an even more excruciating headache than the one before. When I did finally manage to stand up, I noticed that I had broken out in several different rashes across various parts of my body. As freaked out as I was about the exterior, I was more worried that I could barely function without needing to lay down every other hour. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me.Thankfully, I’d made a point to invest in an insurance plan and so I was able to see two separate doctors to help me understand what ailed me. A dermatologist suggested a skin disease. That is, before she mentioned something about the sun and syphilis. To which I said, “Unless my pillow has been sleeping around, I think I’m cool judging by the last time I was tested.” The results agreed with me. I should’ve known to exit her office the second she stopped me in the middle of talking to say I looked like Chris Rock.
Worse was the general practitioner I saw around the same time. He must have mistaken me scratching my scalp with a crack itch given his sudden questions about whether or not I was using drugs. He seemed obsessed with the fact that I “seemed a little thin,” but in hindsight maybe it was more about me being a little gay and a whole lot of Black. Or perhaps it all boils down to him being utterly clueless as to what my actual problem was.
– From “BLACK MAN HURTING:Do Doctors Fail to Diagnose Depression in Our Men?” by Michael Arceneaux, published at Ebony.com
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