The Walking Dead 3.5: “Say The Word”
Joe: Well, this show likes to include tokens. I guess they were missing Dale so they re-include him in one-legged Herschel.
Carly: Apparently!
Jeannie: I suppose it’s nice that we’re going to be hearing about what T-Dog was like when he was alive…now that he’s dead…
Joe: Really?! We’re characterizing T-Dog in completeness after he’s dead?! Shall I call a contest? Maybe a Chuck Norris -type “T-Dog did this when he was alive!” Let me try: You know, T-Dog once lifted 12 cases of medicine clear over his head and saved an orphanage after the zombies came.
Jeannie: Andrea! Stop acting all skeezy! Why are you so quick to believe everything about the Governor and this crazy compound he’s running?!?!
Joe: OMG, the Governor just used the word barbarian to describe Michonne. Loaded comparisons!
Jeannie: “She makes people uncomfortable.”
Ken: Erhmagawdzz!…Glenn is the first party to witness Shane 2.0 in all his glory.
Joe: Rick needs to cry this sh*t out. And drink. A lot.
Carly: Pliers?! That is when I look away, hands down. Also I don’t find it as amusing as they may have intended that the redneck is the one doing all the cajoling and narrating of their ‘fishing expedition.’
Joe: Seriously. Having the redneck say things like, “come ‘git it,” while laughing like a buffoon is just as bad as having T-Dog say “woo!” like he’s in Jerry Macguire.
Ken: Just what exactly were they trying to extract there? I almost felt bad for the walker.
Carly: Are we about to see some horrifying baby walkers????….nope, just dinner. Now that made me giggle.
Jeannie: Where and when on Earth did Daryl acquire this hideous poncho thing? Joe?
Joe: From Torture-a-Fashion-Editor-R-US. It’s also vaguely Urban Outfitters in its Aztec print on white person chic-ness.
Ken: That daycare scene…just like my high school prom date…what a tease. RIP Possum, you never had a chance at true happiness.
Joe: How would they even do that? With animatronics? Paint a toddler up and say “Growl like a tiger!” That is a one way ticket to jumping the shark.
Carly: Okay, calling it now: I bet we’re looking at a Michonne rescue situation to whisk Princess Andrea away from this warped town.
Joe: Princess Andrea and the delightfully curly and Pantene-fresh hair.
Introducing… Lil’ Ass Kicker
Jeannie: As sweet and healing as it might be to name the new baby, the mental health professional is screaming at my screen right now for someone to please talk to Carl and help him process what he did to his own mother. I mean, please.
Carly: I think the baby should have all of those names….like any normal celebrity baby. Like Uma Thurman’s new baby!
Ken: I think her name has already been determined. Thanks, Daryl–you’re a modern day Sophocles.
Joe: And a baby whisperer. You see how quickly that baby got quiet? She only started up when Carl got near her again.
Carly: Annnnnd emergency C-section take two? This is horrific.
Joe: I’m unsure what I’m looking at. And I’m pretty sure I would like to stay unsure.
Jeannie: I’m going to tinker around on the internet for a little bit and have this play in the background unseen until I stop hearing squishy flesh bits.
Ken: I think I see Lori Z-amburger bits….is Rick trying to extract what’s left of Lori from that bloated zombie’s guts? Word…
Joe: Boo, Ken. Boooooooooo.
Andrea Finally Puts Down that Lemonade and Looks Around
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