Street Harassment And Race: A Sliding Scale

By Guest Contributor Chiquita Brooks, cross-posted from The Goddess Festival: Oshun Returns

Is it just me or has street harassment reached an all time high?! Granted, as women we learn pretty early on that men will “cat call” us at any given time they deem appropriate once we’ve walked out of our homes. It doesn’t matter if you’re sitting in the car at a red light with your mom, or if you’re a mother with your child in hand, at foot, in stroller, or on back, these factors will not deter some men from their quest to get your attention. Unfortunately, it has become common place that cat calling or street harassment is something that as women we “have” to deal with, preferably in silence.

Those of us who identify as LGBTQ are also subject to street harassment, especially if we refuse to wear clothes that are gender specific. I personally experienced the most vicious street harassment, as a queer woman of color. From threats of rape & even death threats simply because I was walking with my partner.

Because the disrespect of women, especially Black women and LGBTQ persons is so widely accepted in our society, this treatment of us is normalized. All you have to do is turn on your TV,or listen to songs on the radio.

My encounters with street harassment have ranged from the laughable to emotionally crippling. Take today for instance, when a guy decides to tell me,

You are very attractive but need to do 7 sit ups a day to be fine, especially since the summer is coming up.

Now, this ridiculous comment was meant to shame me for not acknowledging his numerous advances while waiting in line to get my food. Even though I was upset in the moment, I categorize this type of harassment as laughable. Mainly because the perpetrator himself was toothless, well at least all of his front teeth were gone, he had a pot belly, his locs were dirty, and he had B.O. I need you to resemble Tyson Beckford if you’re going to attempt to judge my physique! Even then, you still have NO right! And not to toot my own horn, but TOOT:

Regardless of my physique though, I had to put this guy in his place. Especially, since I decided this year to stop & respond to the catcalls, obscene comments & loud kissing projected in my direction as a part of my healing process to reclaiming my sexuality.

“Excuse me what did you say to me?! NO, you need to do 7 sit ups a day! I’m fine, I don’t need your approval! And, Why would you say that to anyone?  Especially a woman! Learn to respect yourself and women because you obviously don’t know how!”

I walked away slowly, or maybe it just felt like I was in slow motion, when you’re fuming with rage time seems to stand still! Either way, he never said another word. I’ve noticed that most street harassment offenders don’t expect you to respond at all, so when you do they’re surprised.

For me, each response is a moment of unlearning for my perpetrators. I tap into my Buddha nature (if there is any left for the day) and find compassion amidst ignorance. I acknowledge that he has taken the easy road, eaten every spoonful of BS that’s been fed to him on the TV, radio, movie screen, about me & women who look like me. And once my compassion has registered I explain:  ”Yes I am a woman, Yes I am Black, NO I am not pleased by your lewdness, which is a lame attempt to shame me & elevate yourself. I urge you not to believe every thought that floats through your consciousness, that is not truth.” Although I must admit, at first it was hard. Mainly because I didn’t know what to say.

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