What’s in an Asian American Name?

I don’t know what country you are in. In the US, a resume with a typically white name is more likely to get an interview than an identical resume with a name that isn’t typically white. Of course, that’s just one factor to consider. Also, by the time your child is job-seeking, things may have changed (though I doubt they’ll have changed all that much).

OT – I recently realized that, out of all of my Asian friends and coworkers, I am the only one who uses a distinctly Asian name in everyday situations. The others generally have Asian first names, but go by more American names anywhere outside the family. I myself have an American middle name, and went through a brief period in high school when I tried going by it online, but I couldn’t do it. It just felt too weird and “off.” I grew up being called by my Asian name, and being called anything else doesn’t sound right.

I discovered recently that my niece by marriage, who also has Celtic heritage (on both sides of the family IIRC), has a Celtic name that everyone, including the niece herself, has mispronounced for her entire life.  And she’s almost 30.  Luckily she isn’t nearly as into the whole Celtic Twilight romantic dabbling thing as her parents were back then, so she’s unlikely to sidle up to an actual Irish person and try to bond over heritage.

Assuming that’s your profile, you code as white in most/all situations, correct?  Our family all look Northwest European/WASP glow-in-the-dark white.  It confers an astonishing amount of privilege WRT names, doesn’t it?  My kids’ first and middle names are Greek + Japanese, Hebrew by way of Latin + English, and Hebrew by way of French + Anglicized Irish and nobody blinks.

*photo in your.  Kind of important phrase there. 

*photo in your.  Kind of important phrase there. 

I am Chinese-American and my husband is Japanese.  I have an unofficial American name, which is typical for second generation C-A’s my age (older Gen X/young boomers).  We chose American first names  and my husband figured out middle names that translate well into both languages for our sons.  There was much discussion regarding the middle names, with family members offering unhelpful advice and picky opinions.  It finally came down to the wire.  
 It was important that out kids have names that reflect all three cultures–American, Japanese, and Chinese.  I would have gone for two middle names if my mother hadn’t made such a loud stink.

Funny, whenever someone’s got the last name Young I assume it’s Korean or Chinese.

The answer would be that it depends on what kind of “exotic” name the immigrant has.  If their name is mistaken for a “black” name, then they will have the kinds of trouble that has been described . A name that is exotic but that is otherwise assumed to be European, for example, won’t have that problem.  
It’s not really that complicated and there are a lot of individual buckets that all of these names are placed in. 
A Jamal or Kesha will probably be assumed to be black.  Vladimir or Natalya will not.  

Oh, this. I tried, I did, to find names for my children that would reflect their heritage, and couldn’t do it: between concerns about misappropriation (because really, how much claim does a third-generation kid raised in the white suburbs and can’t even speak the language have?) and parents’ and in-laws concerns about the kids getting teased, harassed, or encountering trouble with getting into an educational program or even a job down the line based on their names … we ended up going with some very mainstream, white names.

I wish you the best in your search – may you find something meaningful, resonant, and perfect for your little one. (And congratulations!)

Names and the values we attach to them fascinate me. Coming from a Bangladeshi family, I have a name that only my family & family friends call me by, which is different to my proper formal name everyone else (at work, my social circle, people I hang with, basically anyone non-Bengali…so the vast majority of people I know etc) call me by. Ditto with my father, mother and brother (we all have 2 names, one private used within the family and one used outside). Then there are the last names we bear. My mother’s  is completely different to my father’s…and when I was born, my dad literally made up a last name for me  out of nowhere; so now the only person in my entire family that I share a last name with happens to be my brother (we don’t bear either parents’ last name). So a typical family of 4 with 3 different last names.

My mother’s last name is actually her mother’s maiden name which is her mother’s last name (my maternal uncle bears my grandfathers last name). As for my father; his last name is different to either of my grandparents’ surnames as well as his brothers’ (my paternal grandfather chose a different last name for each of his sons and daughters). Needless to say, trying to research family history more than a few generations back is pretty much impossible especially as family elders die.

As for me, I love my name (both my unofficial one and my proper one that is on my birth certificate) because I think personally think they sound nice and they fit me well. I like the fact that my father made up a last name for me at birth (I think it makes a cute story)…but I sometimes feel a bit uncomfortable by the way it (and I) am perceived by others. It sounds quite Arabic/Muslim sounding rather than Bengali, so when I am around Muslim people, they tend to see me as such which is uncomfortable to me as a Bangladeshi-Australian atheist.

In terms of names for my future children, I wish to continue this tradition of using a pretty and ethnic name at home (flowery, feminine names for both genders) but then giving my kids unisex, functional names on their birth certificates and for their professional lives. I’m quite the fan of masculine first names as I think they sound professional and serious, so my ideal name for either gender would probably be Quentin or Gabriel. (I read somewhere that a good way of choosing a name would be to see if sounded like a future CEO, Prime Minister or High Court Judge).
In terms of last names, I’d like it if my partner was ok with the idea of creating a completely new name (unrelated to either of ours) for our kids, but realistically given the men I tend to be attracted to, they will probably end up with Korean, Anglo or Sinhalese/Tamil surnames.

I don’t think I’ll ever change my name especially within the professional sphere, but may consider using my partners name in my passport if it would make travel to certain regions (the Arab Middle East, Israel, Malaysia) that much easier (I don’t consider that ‘changing my name’ though, as I intend to go with the name I was born with in all other areas of everyday life).

Ha no way. I’m a black woman born and raised in the UK, by West Indian  parents with  Hyphenated first name Ghanian-Hebrew. It is the bane of my life. I spend most of my time exaplaining it,  the fact that it’s unusual, for the uk, then unusual for a west indian to have an ghanian name,  and why the hell did my parents decide on that name. This has been with me for 20+ years.

I like my names, but i go into meetings and work allowing for these conversations, It affects my job for heavens sake!! Some days people get so bloody intrusive i shorten my introduction to  my anglo surname and  the difference it makes.

no fawning, no questions.

sorry for ranting but… we really do underestimate the gravity of something like a name.

While I know that names that are typically associated with African Americans are given a negative connotation, do you have evidence that unique names (as CocoJames so accurately put it) of other generally non-Germanic or Hebrew names don’t face similar issues of discrimination? I would think that depending on the context an Ichigo or Abdul might be treated as problematic as Kesha. 

This is of course ignoring trends in names, in which many traditionally unique names that originate from Asian, Middle Eastern, and even African American heritage are starting to creep into the more “usual” name pool.

This is a common topic in the Muslim American community and also among non-Muslim + Muslim couples who opt for a ‘Muslim name.’ (Islamically there is no such thing as a Muslim name, but generally we mean a name from Arabic, Turkish, or Persian that is historically recognizable as Muslim and has a sound meaning in one of those languages) We even have some “easy for the non-Muslim mainstream people to say” standards that are very common for multiracial kids with one Muslim parent, and also for Muslim-American kids of whatever ethnic background:  Adam, Shaan, Rayaan, Zain for boys and Leila, Maryam, Sara, Aliya, and Yasmine. 

I am white Euro-origin American and my husband is Pakistani origin and multi-ethnic (Pakistani is a nationality but not a race/ethnicity, just like American, so we hesitate to describe our kids as “half-Pakistani half-American” or “half-Pakistani half-white” despite the fact that others may view them as such)  Anyhow, for our girls, we opted for Arabic origin names that are less common and also a bit ethnically ambiguous. They are kind of flowery sounding girls names. 

Funny, but I also think for a boy we might go for one of those “easy for the non-Muslims” standard names just because I have the same issues about boys being more likely to be targeted for bullying. I have no idea if that is true, but it is just my feeling.

I do think Bayani is a great name, though. I think phonetically it has a beautiful aesthetic.

My husband is from India, but of an ethnic group that is Catholic.  His last name is Anglo and traditionally, his family members even had Anglo first names.  In the 70s, there was a surge of Indian pride and many parents from this ethnic group began giving their kids more traditional Indian names.   Folks are often confused by my own last name, thinking that instead of changing it upon marriage, I just kept my maiden name.  When naming our own kids, I wanted to give my kids a little something from India, particularly in light of our particularly boring last name of George.  I tried to choose names that were easy to pronounce and not overly complicated or “odd-sounding” — certainly names that would not limit their futures considering we will probably always live in the US.

In my opinion, this is a situation that also involves male privilege, in that, in most cultures, the kids get the father’s last name. In your case, your kids will also be getting your husband’s first name as their middle names. It’s totally understandable that, as their mother, you’d want something in their names to reflect you. After all, you’re the one who has to give birth and is statistically more likely to care for them. As for how to bring up the topic, I’m not the best person to give advice, because I’m upset over my dog getting my spouse’s last name (at least on vet forms) when we’d agreed that he would change his last name to mine (he didn’t), and that any offspring would get my last name (yes, I know it’s a dog, not a kid).

Interesting. I definitely went through a similar experience when naming our children. I don’t know the right answer to this. My conflict has been between being true to my roots vs. proving my American patriotism. When dealing with teachers and instructors jumbling up my kids’ names I’m oft thinking, ‘oh, i hope they know we’re patriotic and very American. i hope they won’t judge my kids” and so on. That being said, we did go with easy to pronounce Muslim names that were also not on the FBI’s most wanted list (i.e., no Hussains, Osamas, Mohammads, …).