Labor Day weekend meant the entire roundtable was off doing summery things and not thinking about Sookie and her foolishness. So by the time a few of us dragged ourselves away from summer and back into school/work/life, we realized the usual level of snark was off this week. Our slimmed down roundtable has no cross chat – and a bit less bite. But don’t despair – we’re planning something huge and ridiculous for the finale. Until then, Kendra and Amber join me to poke at the plot emerging from the randomness that is Alan Ball’s plot chrysalis.
Latoya: This is what PMS used to feel like? I got a mani-pedi at four? This is the True Blood I signed up for! Marnie has officially flipped a shit.
Kendra: I have to agree with the sentiment of “fucking Sookie.” I think it sums up what we’ve all been feeling for the majority of the season, and will choose to believe that’s the writers understanding our gripes.
Latoya: Oooh…the fucking Sookie comments set Jason off. And he’s attacking the menfolk. Jason is a great brother.
Latoya: Wow. Judas!Debbie does have some kind of a heart left. She essentially said to Marcus, “I was just fucking you homes, I was gonna get right back.”
Kendra: Drug addictions cured by children? Marcus’ logic is… questionable.
Amber: Tell me about it. I didn’t think Marcus had coward in him, but Alcide called it from the jump. He’s managed to murder, kidnap, and homewreck all in a matter of hours–that may be a Bon Temp record. If he can flee the scene of the crime (with Debbie) I’ll give him a standing ovation.
Kendra: Oh hell, did one of those bullets just kill Emma or Luna? And I am loving that they’re actually using abjuring as it was from the books.
Latoya: Damn, this was a rough ass ending to their story. That poor princess baby.
Amber: That was a rough ending. When Emma hugged Sam I realized that no one considered her when they decided how to deal with Marcus. Although they won’t miss him, Emma really will…always. They’ve changed her life forever.
Kendra: Pam, I would have just done the same thing. You get yours, honey.
Amber: Ruthless! Although, I also would have stopped an execution for vintage Cartier. Why ruin it with vampire innards?
Latoya: That spell is seriously great business. Wow, they will really kill themselves for Sookie Stackhouse. I’m amazed at this. Sookie is just gonna sit there and cry.
Kendra: I’m going to need someone to explain to me why Erik and Bill would have just agreed to this deal. One would think that at some point the draw of wheat and sunshine wouldn’t be so strong. Pam knows what’s up though.
Latoya: Pam called Sookie Bo Peep! I thought she was a bit more Miss Muffet myself.
Amber: How did Sookie become more important than the great vamps of Louisiana? How does sacrificing both of their lives for Sookie make any sense at all…? I need someone to explain it to me too because right now it just seems like machismo BS. “Look at me Sookie…I love you more!”
Kendra: I can’t quite put into words how I feel about Marnie’s reasonings behind her actions. She’s not a woman scorned, but a woman ignored. I almost wish we had more backstory on her because at this point she’s just unsympathetic to me, and nowhere near as fun as MaryAnne. Thoughts?
Latoya: She’s like that kid who was bullied in school, and becomes a petty asshole the first chance she gets.
Amber: Marnie’s drunk on power. Overnight she was able to demand attention and respect from those who previously ignored and hurt her and it’s gotten to her head in a very dictatorial sort of way–you know that whole “the end justifies the means” trope. Even if the “end” is motivated by selfish desires.
Latoya: Evil Faerie lovin’? Damn, Andy can’t catch a break this season. And why is he just having impromptu wood sex?
Amber: This faerie lovin’ woods romp is so random and I have a feeling it’s going to get Andy into trouble. I really wish he woulda asked himself if sex in the woods with a supernatural being was a good idea before just making oaths to “the light” and gettin busy.
Latoya: After an E.T.esque finger touch. Why in the world do faeries want to have sex with Andy?
Latoya: Alcide is not playing. Debbie is too into freaking Marcus during this fight, and Alcide just snapped his neck. And those werewolf divorce rights? That sounded serious. We need something like this for marriage and divorce procedings. This one goes out to Alcide:
Amber: Poor Alcide. Debbie done went and broke his heart. That was actually the most intense break-up ever. It was just as dramatic as a vamp invitation rescindment. So final. That was also one of the few times we’ve seen Alcide a really shaken this season…he’s been so cool this entire time.
Kendra: It looks like we might have all been wrong in our suspicions about Jesus’ motives. We still have an episode and a half left, but so far he’s still alright. I’m also so pleased that Lafayette continues to be unimpressed and unadapted to all this crazy mojo.
Latoya: True. Jesus seemed shady but he’s really been a stand up dude through all of this. And yes, Laffy is the most reluctant medium ever in life.
Amber: Jesus does seem to have good intentions, but I’m still a little taken aback whenever he steps up to the plate and somehow just knows what what to do when supernatural ish goes down. I still don’t think he’s been completely honest about the magic in his family and in his background. Apparently he knows it’s there but has chosen to reveal it to Laffy and those around him little by little. Maybe he’s hoping baby steps won’t completely scare them off.
Latoya: “It’s some brujo shit, and it’s gonna get ugly.” You know, sketchy bits aside, I love people with plans on this show.
Latoya: Wait, Jason almost got murked thanks to Pam. There are too many bystander casualties in this fight. And clearly, Hoyt’s about to get his heart broken.
Amber: I was rooting for Jason in this episode. I was genuinely concerned when I saw him there all blown up. One thing about Jason (that skipped Sookie apparently) is he is one loyal dude, or at least he’s trying to be. I don’t know how he’s gonna avoid ruining his friendship with Hoyt though, cuz Jess isn’t helping on that front.
Kendra: Not to harp on this or anything, but is Erik really choosing Sookie over Pam, his child of over two centuries or so? I’m more than pleased that Erik has his memories back, but apparently his sense of judgement has yet to return.
Latoya: Wow, theis scene with Eric and Bill talking to each other but not talking to Sookie feels like a hell of a shift. They still ran to save her, but yeah…the wheat is spoilt. However, when she was gonna die, I must admit, I did feel some concern for old Sook. Guess I still care about her character after all.
Amber: You know, I still wasn’t that concerned about Sookie. Maybe I’m just cold? * shrug * It was interesting that neither Eric or Bill went to Sookie after saving her life. I dunno what that says…but I don’t think the wheat is that spoiled. Maybe they’ve come to some sort of understanding. Also, I dunno how Sookie would want to deal with either of them after Eric merciless murks and Bill shoots Marn She still has them both.
Latoya: Can we pause and say Tara just called a white man an Uncle Tom? Lulz.
Kendra: Oh, is that a piece of spine and heart? THAT is the Erik I know and love. But in all seriousness, that was… a very human death Bill chose for a season full of supernatural craziness.
Latoya: He sucked on that heart like it was a juice box.
Latoya: What is with this top knot thing in bed? I do love the pillow talk. This was a hard one, so I am glad the folks are processing. Wait, WTF?
Kendra: Laffy… always getting the short end of the posession stick.
Latoya: Black folks can’t have nothing on this show. Not even a little piece of happiness.