Busy “Communicating Shit” – True Blood S4, E9

We’re coming in on the end of the season – and no one has died yet. Tragic that we’re all waiting for a character to bite the dust, but the Roundtable is in full agreement: Enough is enough! We have had it with these motherfuckin’ side plots on this motherfuckin’ show! Jordan, Alea, Amber, Kendra, and Joe have agreed to help me storm the HBO compound in search of Alan Ball – our nefarious plans have yet to be developed, since we were too busy trying to analyze the plot.

Sookie Almost Dies (For 10 Mins…)

Latoya: Man, this ep better not be a save Sookie ep. I have not one iota of sympathy.
Jordan: yeah but we are in the minority
Latoya: Oooh, Bill said fuck! At least one good thing came out of this.
Amber: Oh we all know she’s gonna be ok…c’mon.
Kendra: Bill is looking his age.
Amber: Stop freaking out, Bill
Latoya: “We can pray” – really, Bill?
Jordan: I literally just yelled that at my screen. REALLY?
Kendra: Admittedly, I’m glad Sookie is out cold, because my dad has decided to watch with me and I really don’t need him to see the Sookie/Eric show.
Amber: lol
Jordan: Ha, not family viewing
Latoya: LMAO – seriously, Kendra.  We need someone to have pants on this week.
Joe: Hi all, this is me arriving fashionably late.
Jordan: you didn’t miss anything. :)
Kendra: ...That didn’t last nearly long enough.  I was seriously expecting an hour long dreamscape of Sookie’s recovery.

Eric’s Possessed Again

Jordan: Someone really needs to get Eric some better clothes
Latoya: He’s just a pretty puppet this season
Jordan: I love Antonia’s jacket
Latoya: Antonia/Marnie is tripping
Amber: That denim jacket on Eric isn’t working. I see he’s keeping up with the lumberjack viking theme.
Kendra: I am beginning to love Merlotts Wiccan Waitress Woman.
Jordan: have they all forgotten they are speaking with a woman who dies hundreds of years ago…
Latoya: LMAO right!
Joseph: Uh oh… and she crosses the bend! Hurray!
Latoya: And OMG, this is totally some Craft second act shit
Amber: Oh see….this is where it becomes just like the Craft. It’s all gravy until someone says YOU CAN’T leave.
Jordan: oh look, we have all realized we are in waaaaay over our heads… nice
Alea: It’s all fun and games until Manon comes to town.
Latoya: Now I’m just waiting for them to have a flash back with Tara’s nappy hair…
Joseph:LOL Latoya

In Which Alcide Realizes He Didn’t Move Far Enough

Jordan: May I wake up to such a sight one day. Alcide is a vision.
Amber:  I’m glad she’s already up. I couldn’t take 40 min of trying to revive her.
Alea: Alcide should have been done forever ago.
Latoya: Hell yeah Alcide! Leave her ass!
Kendra: He’ll be back.
Latoya: No more wheat beer for the werewolves
Jordan: She’s got a lot of blood mixing around in there now…Bill and Eric.
Joseph : Did we hear Alcide has been cast in Channing tatum’s life story as a stripper?
Latoya: Word? Who has the DVR?
Jordan: and it’s both fresh
Latoya: @Jordan – She is now more vamp than Fae.
Amber: @Jordan Truth. All that blood mixing is going to make for some cray cray dream fantasies.
Jordan: Ha. I wish. Someone should turn her already
Alea:The deep, physical ties to two different men — and their psychotropic effects — are so convenient.  [It reminds me of Anita Blake.]
strong>Joseph: @Jordan, I wonder if that’ll happen. In the books she is adamant about not wanting to be a vamp, but this Sookie is so … wishy washy.

Sam to The Rescue

Alea: Why is Sam always looking for problems?  Other people’s problems?
Jordan: Sam has a white knight complex
Alea: Totally.
Latoya: @Alea – Yeah, the “let’s nobody be here” solution seems flawed
Kendra: Are they forgetting that Marcus could just… track them? Why do people keep forgetting various preternatural powers on this show?
Alea: Exactly!
Latoya: @Kendra – He’s really offering tent sex.
Alea: He wants to go camping?  In the woods? Insanity.
Jordan: Oh hell
Amber: My thoughts exactly too!

Alcide & Debbie: The Beginning of the End

Amber: Aw, Debbie. Sookie ruins lives.
Joseph: OMG shes watching Cheaters
Kendra: LOL!
Amber: Bahahaha!
Jordan: HA
Kendra: You smell like Dumb Blonde, Alcide.
Amber: Smells sookie all over him.
Jordan: Yeah, now she has to go to sleep smelling some other woman on a man that fine
Kendra:They are ALL forgetting this sense of smell thing tonight…

Later, after Debbie visits a V dealer…

Kendra: Aw, Debbie, no.
Amber: Awwwwwwww, daaaaamn.
Jordan: oh… she’s back on the stuff
Alea: Oh, hell. Debbie’s going to fuck shit up.
Amber: Yo, I’m mad at Alcide.
Jordan: She needs something to cover the smell of spoiled wheat
Latoya: Is there a v-hab clinic?
Amber: This has officially become a town problem.
Alea: Cosign. There doesn’t seem to be much in the way of social services in Bon Temps.

Jessica Has No Shoulder to Cry On

Alea: Everyone is watching some grainy ass 1990s television this season.
Amber: um…
Alea: Nan Flan doesn’t give a shit, Jess. Why is jess bitching to her?
Kendra: Because Pam isn’t around.
Jordan: I love this leather theme
Latoya: Okay, I want Bill’s leather jacket.
Alea: Ditto.
Kendra: I’m partial to Alcide’s.
Joseph: I do believe that jacket is from Allsaints.  Fashion Correspondent strikes again! (if im right)
Latoya: @Joe – If it is, you ARE A BOSS!
Jordan: HA
Alea: Nan is such a baller. She’s getting silvered and she shows no pain.
Amber: I’m totally feeling Nan’s fiestiness. She never disappoints.
Kendra: Can Bill give Jessica some love?
Latoya: Right? Poor Jess is having her first heartbreak. Speaking of Jess, what was that face?
Jordan: Mommy and Daddy, stop fighting
Alea: Festival of Tolerance. Most hilarious. name. ever.
Latoya: Right. They meant “Slaughter.” We all know how this is going down.
Joseph: Right? LOL. BTW: http://www.allsaints.com/men/leathers/coerce-leather-shirt/jet-black/mlg528-451
Alea: @Joseph: Nice find!
Latoya: A $400 Jacket…called “Coerce.” Giving props to the stylists, that was fun to find.

All Saints Coerce Jacket

Hoyt Buries His Sorrows in Bud and the Monster Box

Jordan: Oh hoyt
Kendra: Hoyt on a bender?
Latoya: Damn. The morning after arrives
Jordan: HA
Latoya: Damn Hoyt. Packing her shit with a  diss? The HAMming continues…
Jordan: I guess the honeymoon is over with those two
Alea: “The monster box?” Really, Hoyt?
Latoya: LOL “that goes in the monster box!”
Joseph: I know you miss Jessica, Hoyt, but that is no reason to listen to Taylor Swift.
Alea: “For you, monster”
Latoya: *sings* Tempted by the blood of another…
Amber: You’re setting things up for them nicely, Hoyt.
Jordan St.John: Oh Jason, honesty is not right here, keep it to yourself
Latoya: Oh Hoyt, you know not what you ask Jason to do. For his flesh is weak, and vampire blood is strong…


Amber: Don’t.do.it.Jason.
Joseph: whats with this music? is this taylor swift?
Jordan: what is this music?
Alea: The music is the worst. Shitty adult contemporary is apparently the warning signal for attractive-white-people sex that we’re supposed to eat up, but that actually should not be happening.
Joseph: LOL
Jordan: Dammit
Alea: Of course. Ugh.
Kendra: Taylor WHY?
Latoya: @Joe – right? WTF at the bad sex music?

Oh Laffy…

Latoya: This is about to get weird.
Alea: Really weird.
Kendra: Uh oh… Really hoping that non-possessed!laffy doesn’t have any consequences for all this.
Amber: Toting a gun?
Jordan: Oh this is all coming together… lovely
Amber: Oh goodness…I hope this ends well and not in another brown person injury/death.
Alea: Those pants.  Arlene’s pants.  Sweet jesus.
Kendra: Arlene’s everything.
Amber: Detective Jason and Andy? Arlene and Terry actually better go find Laffy on their own.
Alea: Terry is a having a flashback…?
Kendra: Lord, Andy this is not the time for a V break.
Amber: I don’t think Andy remembers what it feels like to be sober
Alea: That’s a whole lot of v. And he hasn’t had it in a spell.
Jordan: He’s going to be out of it
Kendra: I’m a little tired of him doing this and not getting caught… you know, as an officer of the law and all. And there only being TWO OF THEM on the force. Joseph: I was really hoping this ghost wasn’t crazy, but of course shes as out of it as everyone else.
Jordan:Please, not now Sookie. There is actual plot happening!


Kendra: Wait…. Where the HELL are the OTHER cops? Why are there no other cops in this town???
Jordan: Terry has lost it
Latoya: Jesus – the spirtual therapist.
Amber: Jesus – The Ghost Whisperer
Alea: How is she not aware of having entered a body?
Kendra: I guess she hadn’t realised she was a he…
Jordan: Oh, poor woman

Jordan: Why are people messing with next level magic on this show?
Amber: seriously though
Amber: Oh, so Jesus is claiming brujo status now??
Alea: Exactly. This is not the thing you learn by trial and error. [If only all of the witchy folks in BT could figure that out.]
Jordan: Yeah, I would not want to play with all this with my boyfriend’s body in the middle
Joseph: Thank you TB for showing us Marntonia isnt the only one with actual powers
Amber: So uh…Lafayette? You still in there?

Finally, the Scooby Gang solves the baby mystery…

Joseph: To communicatin’ shit!
Kendra: Are we about to burn some bones, Supernatural style?
Jordan: Oh…. so sad
Latoya: *tears*
Alea: It’s like Maury Povich. They’re reunitin’ families and shit.
Latoya: Even the baby is sad.
Amber: Jesus has totally become a ghost whisperer. Jennifer Love Hewitt shoulda made a cameo.
Latoya: Damn Jesus! You can banish spirits
Joseph: aww how cute
Latoya: Well, that solves the Marnie plotline.
Kendra: Arlene, you can’t keep calling this shit miracles. Time to accept you live in Bon Temps.
Alea: That scene was pretty bad. I expected a lot more for the end of that storyline.
Latoya: “You got it bitch” – oh Laffy, don’t ever change. Boyfriend chimes in: “No snarky comment about holding a dead baby?”
Jordan: Well wasn’t that special
Amber: Well, one plotline has been resolved…how about that.

And…More Fanservice!

Latoya: OMG
Amber: Here we go…cue crazy dream fantasy.
Joseph: Did we change the channel to Showtime? Cinemax?
Alea: Did somebody order a pizza?
Latoya: This feels like Mad Men cutting room floor
Kendra: Mad Men has better taste. Not even Trudy Campbell would be caught dead in this scene.
Latoya: Has Sookie ever worn heels?
Amber: NO. This is first.
Kendra: I think the closest she got was wedges at the hotel in Dallas.
Alea: Yeah, I’ve never seen her in heels.
Jordan: Oh stop it
Amber: Called it. Bilekie?
Jordan: this is ridiculous
Amber: They are right back where they started.
Alea: This….is some old bullshit.
Alea: Daaaaaamn, Eric is a fucking giant, especially when juxtaposed with Bill.  Talk about Viking-god-who-bows-to-no-one.
Latoya: “Stop fighting!” Oh, the FANSERVICE, it burns. We need a name for these scenes. Cheese Whiz?
Amber: Annnnnnd…nothing’s changed.
Kendra: she might as well have said, “fiddle dee dee, are you fighting over lil’ ol’ me?”
Jordan: Are they going to have sex with each other to settle this
Alea: @LP: May it stop soon. @Jordan: That is something I’d watch.
Joseph: I second that.
Amber: Now we just need to throw Alcide in there and we’ll have last season.
Latoya: It’s a nice dress tho
Jordan: and by talk does she mean vampire business
Kendra: no, i think she means sex.

Alea: This dream sequence has to end.
Latoya: Seriously? I really don’t want to return to the Sookie dream. This is bullshit.
Jordan: Eric has better clothes in her dream
Amber: So why is this one in doors? What happened to snow and meadows?
Latoya: Polyamory? In true blood?
Alea: Yeah, Sookie seems to be learning about non-monogamy.
Jordan: I approve of this
Alea: It’s an important lesson.  The vehicle leaves something to be desired.
Joseph: This is the kind of fanservice I approve of.
Jordan: vampire diaries 101 – man sharing, at least they aren’t brothers
Kendra: I still don’t understand when she fell in love with eric, but okay.
Jordan: she isn’t in love with Eric’s mind
Latoya: Boyfriend: “Yeah feminism!” *sees my face* “Wait, this isn’t good?”
Amber: Oh, is this gonna happen?
Alea: Anna P. is fucking ripped.
Latoya: MMF on HBO.
Alea: Damn. [Also, one of my viewing companions referred to this as, I believe, a “pork roast,” a term I’d never heard before.]
Latoya: Do we want to know? Wait, nevermind, I think there was a Chappelle joke about this…
Amber: Well then
Latoya: Katie Morgan better watch her back.
Jordan: Yeah, she is hard core
Joseph: this scene must have inspired some sort of three way in real life
Kendra: They won’t show it though.
Joseph: or at least a lengthy discussion

Sookie and Debbie Have a Special Moment

Alea: Oh, shit. If Debbie just showed up on my doorstep, I would probably be terrified.
Latoya: OMG, Jesus what are you promising?
Jordan: Debbie, don’t let Sookie turn you to this
Latoya: And uh, it’s about to be extra real.
Alea: Scariest flowers ever!
Amber: Hahaha
Jordan: Oh Sookie, you know better. You can read minds WHY? Why Sookie?
Amber: Debbie, sweetie…Sookie doesn’t care.
Alea: What is with the soft focus in this scene?
Joseph: Oprah lighting or Barbara Walters lighting.
Alea: Mmmhmm. This is not The View with Debbie and Sookie. It seems kind of pointless.
Amber: Haha. Their positioning is very Larry King -esque, almost.
Kendra: This is… almost sweet while sad as hell. It’s her last ditch attempt to get her man back.
Latoya: @Kendra – If you cain’t beat em…
Alea: It’s not the best way to create bonds of sisterhood.
Latoya: Good thing Sookie has no concept of sisterhood.

Alcide Has a Love Triangle and a Drama Triangle

Latoya: Oh lord, Marcus and Alcide, bad business!
Amber: I looooove the salt and pepper beard on Alcide. Mmmmm.
Alea: Marcus is so sketch.
Kendra: For some reason I really like Marcus’ character, if not y’know, the person himself. He’s at least interesting.
Alea: True.
Jordan: Oh, let’s not bond over our obsessions fellas
Latoya: Oh lord, Tommy!Sam is about to get his shit kicked in
Amber: No good. Another stupid idea from Tommy Mickens.
Jordan: I don’t call a divorce and restraining order a rough patch
Alea: To paraphrase Viewing Companion No. 1, upon seeing Alcide, “How can they explain all of this muscle? That actor spends all day in the fucking gym. How does fried food and alcoholism result in such awesome bodies?”
Latoya: I thought they were all essentially day laborers. I forgot how Alcide makes money, but Jase and Hoyt were digging ditches all day in season 1.
Kendra: 6’6″ and wider than a door. oh yes.
Jordan: Oh Alcide is 6’6. Ha… I’m so simple


Kendra: Wait, Alcide doesn’t know Sam?
Amber: 2nd romp in the woods of the season. And Sam doesn’t know Tommy is about to get murked.
Alea: For real.
Jordan: Alcide is huge
Latoya: Oh lordy, lordy, lordy. In Bon Temps, the phrase is “tell the truth and invoke the devil” apparently.
Alea: Yes.
Jordan: oh… Tommy… what is he doing
Joseph: I think he just might die right now
Amber: Feeling guilty, Tommy? Partaking in a little self-destruction to make yourself feel better? Tommy doesn’t do anything halfway. Neither fucking up nor going through with misguided good deeds.
Jordan: he’s holding him like a baby
Joseph: I think at the end of every episode alcide should carry someone into the sunset
Alea: +1

Sisterhood is For Never

Alea: Oh, Debbie.
Jordan: Oh Debbie
Joseph: stupidity.
Alea: Sheer stupidity.
Latoya: The blondes are doin it for themselves!
Kendra: Blondes are gonna get themselves killed…
Jordan: Does Sookie’s sunshine smell apply to the ladies as well
Alea: Does Sookie think she’s Nancy Drew?
Jordan: Blonde ambition
Joseph: lets save eric at all costs
Alea: Good question, Tara.
Kendra: Tara you got some nerve calling people stupid.
Alea: +1
Latoya: LOL – This is like Kill Bill! Part 3!
Amber: Tara would be the one standing guard.
Jordan: Oh, the sisterhood portion of the night just ended
Latoya: Lord. Tara is a true friend, to the end. Still trying to help Sookie despite the fact that Sook can only think of teh menz.
Kendra: Well, it could have gone worse.
Latoya: Dumb as a box of pop rocks, these two.
Jordan: Stand by your white woman
Latoya: Ummhmm – Debbie was going to betray the shit out of her. Judas!Debbie
Alea: Why would the trapped people try the front door? Sometimes folks in Bon Temps are collectively dumber than a box of hair.
Latoya: Hmm…now what would they do in the craft?
Kendra: My guess: the group bands together and uses their latent wiccan abilities to do something to save the day in the end.

Tolerance Now, Tolerance Forever!

Jordan: Oh, the festival is about to begin. Tolerence fest 2011
Latoya: See, this is why I hate tolerence. But LOL at the living-dead alliance.
Jordan: Didn’t bill miss the civil rights movement?
Latoya: He was probably conveniently somewhere else. Old confederate ass.
Kendra: was he in england?

[And Nan explains civil rights probably won’t have been so bloody if the black folks had just stayed home.]

Latoya: Oh Nan. Hell naw.
Alea: Nan is….something. [I have no words.]
Latoya: Do I need to break out non-smiling MLK?
Alea: Yes.
Amber: I think so.


Kendra: lol at Bill’s “humble” face at Nan’s intro.
Jordan: I love their public interactions
Amber: Beeel’s southern accent always really comes out during his speeches/stories/monologues. He’s had quite a few this season. One of the perks of being King, I guess.
Kendra: LMAO, Sookie: Nan’s least favorite person.
Alea: Hrm.
Jordan: Nan is going to have to work some magic on this
Alea: Way more than magic. This is huge.
Kendra: If anyone can do it, Nan can.
Amber: The PR folks are flippin a shit right now.
Jordan: Not enough PR spin in the world
Joseph: How old is Nan? is she the only one potentially stronger than Marnie and Eric?
Latoya: LOL – what’s with this crappy ending?
Alea: Very crappy ending to a rather strange episode.
Jordan: I feel like Nan is old but not as old as Eric
Kendra: It was strange, but at least there was plot.


Latoya: I love everyone’s leather this season.
Alea: So. Much. Leather. [Swoon.]
Jordan: This is the leather season
Kendra: I bet if we watched the credits we’d see a leather sponsor of some sort.
Jordan: I gotta say, liked this ep. Better than most of the season’s drivel
Joseph: I liked this episode too
Latoya: Y’all only liked it because the sex scene ended.Whatever next week preview. Can Sook even call on her fairy light anymore?
Kendra: She did last week, right?
Latoya: OMG, they shot Eric?
Kendra: Finally, Terry and Andy go at it.
Jordan: Everyone is coming to blows now… end of the season
Alea: I agree.
Kendra: Gotta wrap shit up intime for Boardwalk.
Amber: Yep, it looks like more resolution is coming next week.
Alea: Can’t Nan and Bill call in some higher-ups?
Kendra: The “authority”?
Alea: Yeah. This Tolerance Fest is going to go viral. It seems, I don’t know, bigger than the King of Louisiana.
Joseph: I could have used more Jason Jessica lovin’
Jordan: I endorsed that and Alcide’s naked side
Amber: We got Sam and Luna.
Joseph: thats the kind of fanservice i can get behind
Jordan: ditto
Alea: Eh…
Kendra: I need Luna and her kid to survive the season…
Amber: I’m glad other folks were getting some loving in Bon Temps tonight.
Jordan: indeed
Amber: Although I’m shaking my head at Jason.
Jordan: I know I was just thinking how much Jason had evolved… then nudity in the back of a truck to taylor swift
Amber: Right?! Jason tried to keep it in his pants for all of 2 days.
Latoya: I just want someone to die already
Alea: Absolutely.
Latoya: Do we need to start a pool?
Kendra: Tommy and Debbie.
Alea: We should start a pool. I think Tommy’s a red herring. Killing him is so obvious [not that Ball is above obvious].
Jordan: Poor Tommy. He is so tortured
Amber: Tommy just needs to stop meddling and sit down somewhere for a while.
Kendra: After tonight’s episode, I suspect Laffy survives the season.
Alea: He’s looking redemption by getting himself killed in Sam’s place, but I don’t think it’s going to work.
Amber: No, it isn’t gonna work…it’s just stupid.
Alea: How did y’all feel about that storyline’s ending?
Amber: Honestly, I thought there’d be more to it and was kinda disappointed. It ended kind of abruptly.
Alea: Ditto. I feel like it was almost too magical. They sprinkled some gold dust on Laffy and called it a day. What a cop-out.
Latoya: I hope at some point Alcide and Debbie break for good
Jordan: I don’t know where they are going with that…
Latoya: She’s a follower. And he’s hot and deserves more screentime
Jordan: Oh, you know my thoughts on that. He is so good looking it’s distracting
Amber: Agreed. So hot. When Alcide’s around I don’t even remember Eric. Sookie can have him.
Kendra: They’re so into fanservice… i don’t understand why alcide isn’t naked more.
Alea: That might make up for his being not that interesting of a character this season.
Joseph: Alan Ball wants Sookie and Bill to betogether… obviously he doesn’t know his audience. Or doesn’t care
Alea: Doesn’t care.
Latoya: @Joe – He needs to learn to let go. The fen have moved on.
Joseph: We have.
Jordan: Maybe it’s because they are married
Kendra: Alcide may not be interesting, but at least –unlike sookie– they have him hanging out with interesting people.
Alea: True.
Amber: Very true.
Alea: He keeps running back to her, though.
Latoya: Maybe Alcide will mentor the wayward Tommy?
Alea: I would have loved to get to Alcide vs. Marcus earlier, though.
Jordan: Ohhh.. I would like that
Kendra: It’s interesting– there’s a whole cast of people sookie’s just not seeing this season and in turn their plots are faaaar better.
Joseph: I think Sookie waters down other plots by making it all about her and her dumb decisions
Alea: Yes. Their plots would also be faster if they didn’t see her at all. She has a way of stagnating people’s lives.
Jordan St.John: I don’t like the way they have made Sookie here vs. the books. Hate to keep saying it be its true
Amber: Totally. When Sookie enters the picture everyone life becomes about her.
Alea: And bad things happen to people who get involved with her; yet, the same people can’t stop coming back for more.
Kendra: That’s why she cant hang with the weres– sookie wouldn’t know the meaning of a ‘pack’ if it bit her in theass.
Alea: Cosign.
Amber: Yep. Let’s not forget that faerie godmother died before her eyes and she could care less. She hopped on murderous Eric a few days later.
Latoya: If her record with the vamps says anything, she’ll hook up with Alcide and leave him for Marcus.
Jordan: All Sookie cares about are those guys
Alea: Yup. Tara’s in deep shit. And Jason’s got ish.
Jordan: Tara at least tries
Alea: But Sookie is too busy tripping balls with Eric.
Jordan: She’s sticking with that woman until the end
Amber: Yeah…Tara always ends up being loyal to Sookie.
Kendra: I’m gonna give Tara the benefit of the doubt with this one: she needed sookie to get out so that she could (maybe. we hope.) tell someone that they were being held hostage. Granted, it’s sookie, so she’ll forget.
Amber: Sookie forgot as soon as she left Marnie’s shop.
Latoya: @Kendra – Sookie ain’t going to help her! It’s bros before hoes in Sookieland
Jordan: She ran straight for Bill. I doubt she even called cops on the way
Kendra: @Jordan, you’re right. This is the most horrible woman in all of television.
Jordan: with a “hey people are being kept against their will”
Amber: @Kendra I also think Tara made a really smart move, but Sookie just wasn’t the one to follow through at all. She would had better luck screaming out the window.
Alea: Not at all. [I can’t remember if I’ve ever seen her use a cell phone.]
Kendra: LOL
Alea: That…might make her reachable when people need her.
Jordan: Of course not. Men, run to her when she faints, what use is a phone
Amber: Exactly. She has no use for one.
Joseph: Tara said “Marnie is really Antonia and shes got eric and were being held hostage here till she kills Bill!” and Sookie heard “________________shes got eric ______________ till she kills Bill!”
Alea: Ah, the manphone.
Amber: And when has anyone ever needed Sookie. It’s always the other way around…and they come running.
Kendra: When you have wheat in your blood, you always have cell service.
Alea: @Joseph: +1
Jordan: HAHAHA
Latoya: Boyfriend says: “the only police they have are Andy and Jason. Is that helping?”
Alea: Solar-powered cell service.
Alea: @LP: good point.
Amber: Truth.
Jordan: Yeah… I think all the other cops got out of dodge
Kendra: The lack of police system in Bon Temps is… frustrating. To say the least. Where is Keenyah?
Amber: Right?!
Jordan: Although after the whole Maryann incident, I would have left town quickfast
Kendra: I saw her in a tea shop in SoHo about a month ago, and apparently she’s yet to find her way back to Bon Temps.
Amber: Did we even get an explanation for that one?
Kendra: Nope.
Latoya: Alan Ball doesn’t care about black characters.
Alea: Not at all.
Jordan: Well he does care about torturing them
Amber: Nope
Alea: They’re entirely disposable. Good for torture, magic, and being sassy.
Jordan: and being chained up somewhere or possessed by someone or helping to man the getaway
Amber: Don’t forget that they are also essential to all the slavery references.
Latoya: or badly thought out civil rights references
Kendra: or half thought out and explained interracial relationship plots.
Latoya: how many poc were at that tolerence rally?
Alea: Maybe it would have been better if black people hadn’t marched, per Nan, right?
Jordan: not a lot
Kendra: Alan Ball probably enjoys The Help >.>
Alea: Lol
Jordan: Let’s not forget all these folks seem to have plantations
Joseph: maybe cause were not idiots. LOL
Amber: I distinctly remember a sea of rosy white faces.
Alea: One of the killer vampires was black.
Joseph: I will tolerate you, vampires, from the safety of myhouse with a necklace of gorgeous silver
Amber: Yep. He’s the only POC I remember seeing.
Kendra: pretty much
Latoya: Final thoughts?
Amber: Jesus’ brujo status surprised me, but I hope the resolution to the ghost/Laffy/possession storyline wasn’t the only reason for that Mexico trip because if so, that is WEAK. Also, I’m still hoping that Tara makes it out of this whole thing alive.
Jordan: More Alcide, more blackpeople – less tortured. Also, after all their talk about Tara’s Asian chick, she left and now everything is black and white with a little latino and a native american sprnkled in. Let’s up the cultural mix
Kendra: a) I still think Debbie gon’ die. b) Marcus and Luna plots remain the most interesting lines for me this season, because they stay engaging and interesting, and it isn’t all about the naked times. I would like to see them reference her Native status again though, so that I don’t feel like it was just a oneoff.
Latoya: @jordan – by a little, you mean one of each
Alea: The Laffy/Mavis storyline was not satisfying. I expected an ending that would have allowed Laffy to do something more than glow gold and give up a ghost. It’s like the whole damn thing was written to let Arlene, Terry, and the others know about the possibility of possession and Jesus/Laffy’s powers.
Jordan: I am ambitious, what can I say
Amber: @ Alea That’s exactly what it felt like.
Alea: So frustrating, right?
Amber: If that was the climax for the use of Laffy and Jesus’ powers this season, mexico was a waste of time.
Alea: It was to convience laffy. But, yeah, we didn’t need to go to mexico for that.
Kendra: How many episodes do we have left? Maybe Mavis isn’t gone for good…
Amber: All that build-up was unnecessary because they didn’t really deliver.
Latoya: 3 eps. Chances are, Jesus will banish Marnie. So there’s one plot line solved
Kendra: Now we have to get Eric his memory back, solve this “war” (a war I am still not sure why the weres will eventually be involved in), and do something about Marcus and Tommy.
Alea: Yes.
Jordan: agreed
Alea: I think Debbie will be the way in for the weres.
Amber: Most likely. If Debbie and/or Sookie are involved Alcide won’t be far behind.
Alea: She’s going to sell out Alcide. By then, he’ll have more bad blood with Marcus, which will lead Marcus to attacking the side that he thinks Alcide is on.
Alea: I don’t think the Debbie/Sookie Sisterhood show can last.
Jordan: Alcide’s going to take that pack from him if he isn’t careful
Amber: Yeah he was definitely flexing his muscles tonight.
Kendra: I dont think Alcide wants it enough to reach out and grab it.
Alea: Ditto.
Kendra: even if it were to come to him by accident or default
Latoya: @Alea – I don’t think Debbie intended for a show. Thoughts can lie, you know? Jason did that la-la-la thing in season2
Jordan: That was before he slept with his woman
Amber: Alcide is a leader though. I think he’ll take it if he has too.
Alea: @LP: Maybe, but I don’t think her intentions were completely good. If she perceives sookie as not playing along, she’s going to go apeshit.
Latoya: @Alea – oh agreed. I think Debbie really was gonna throw her to the witches.It just didn’t work out, thanks to her friend Tara. You know, their friendship makes more sense every time Tara makes a dumb decision.
Alea: Why?
Latoya: Because then I remember that they do have things in common.
Jordan: indeed. everyone knows those girls
Joseph: I wonder if Debbie is going to leave the show in the same way she did in the books – which… wasn’t pretty.
Alea: That makes me so curious.
Kendra: Snap– we also need to wrap up Jason and the werepanthers which HAS to be coming back.
Alea: They have been incredibly quiet.
Jordan: Yeah… that all kind of went away
Joseph: yeah, if none of these characters leave the show by like season 6 there are going to be 100 main characters
Amber: Yeah Hot Shot totally disappeared.
Alea: There had to be a friends cull.
Kendra: If Hotshot disappears completely that’ll be a worse wrapped plot than Mavis.
Alea: A little bow would have been nice. I think the number of storylines is one of the flaws in this season.
Kendra: I would agree.
Alea: I don’t think that Ball can really handle this many in the number of episodes he’s allotted.
Amber: So far it’s been keeping me interested, but they do need to work on the resolutions.
Alea: Absolutely.
Jordan: Yeah, I hope more start coming together and getting resolved
Amber: Agreed.
Alea: And not just resolved, but handled well. none of this shitty golden ghost breath crap.
Amber: I definitely felt short changed with that one and it had so much potential right up until the very end.
Alea: Mmhmm.
Kendra: Not the way I expected it to end at all. I wasn’t joking when I said I thought they’d at least have to burn some bones. I also thought maybe we’d get some information as to why she thought that specific baby was her baby– hence why I’m wondering if Mavis will be back. There has to be some bellefleur family history we’re not getting yet.
Amber: Yes. I too was waiting for the Bellefleur connection.
Jordan: Yeah… that was a little left field
Alea: Totally. Why didn’t we get it?
Amber: Also that she didn’t even realize she was possessing Laffy.
Jordan: Maybe it’s coming, maybe they had to cut it to make space for that threesome
Amber: That’s probably exactly what happened.
Alea: @Amber: That’s shoddy writing.
Kendra: Had to make room for Sookie’s speak on threesomes.
Alea: God, maybe if we spent less time in Sookie’s sober and drug-induced sexcapades, we could get some critical thought put into other storyines.
Jordan: Think of all the plot time that winterwonderland romp two weeks ago wasted
Alea: Shit tonnes.
Amber: It lasted for half an episode.
Kendra: things i did not need to see: sookie and erik fucking up a stair case :-/
Alea: Lol. Did anyone see that Ball’s next show is about a martial arts expert ex-con living in fucking Amish country?
Kendra: Wait, what? Is it called Witness: Pt.II?
Alea: Why, yes. Yes, it is.
Jordan: Stop the madness
Alea: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/11/true-blood-alan-ball_n_924160.html
Amber: Whaaa?
Joseph: I really suggest people read the Aurora Teagarden Mysteries. Life’s dream: to make that into a show
Alea: Noted.
Joseph: Charlaine Harris really knows how to make strong southern women characters, and what alan ball is doing to sookie must PISS HER OFF
Alea: Has she ever said anything about it? The money must be really fucking good.
Joseph: nope. not a word.
Jordan : I think her checks show up on time from HBO so she is keeping quiet
Amber Jones: lol
Alea: Definitely.
Joseph: I bet she’ll say it too – till the checks stop and the show is over. Shes not an idiot. lol
Amber: mmmhhhmm…for now she knows how to play the waiting game
Jordan: Yeah… HBO is the reason why her books are now in hardcovers
Alea: True. One shouldn’t stake the vampire that…lays the golden eggs…?

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  • Nina

    The last few episodes have been so middling.  I enjoyed how the Mavis plot concluded, considering that there are no happy endings on this show.  I understand what you meant that there was still parts left unfinished, but it’s getting down to the wire.  They wasted enough time in Mexico, and there’s only 3 eps left.  AB  & Co needed to wrap this up.

    That “three-some”…can we even call it that?  All I saw was some heavy petting.

    It’s hard to praise Sookie for finally turning the tables on the “ownership” issue when we know damn well that her “sharing” idea would never happen.   Pity, because that dream sequence could have been hilarious, since we already knew it was fake. 

    I hope Alcide meant it when he said he was done.  Sookie’s made it pretty clear that she’s only available to vampires, other species need not apply.  For what it’s worth, I pity Debbie.  No matter what happens, Alcide always protects Sookie.  I can understand Debbie’s insecurity, and she probably feels that she’s not good enough for him.  Loved her watching Cheaters!

    Sam and Luna are sweet, but boring.   And Tara is just spinning her wheels. 

    I think Marnie’s spirit is dead.  Her body is completely possessed by Antonia, and Marnie wouldn’t harm her coven to prove a point. 

    Jason and Jessica = new levels of stupidity.  Jessica needs to be alone for a while to see what she wants, and Jason needs a cold shower.  Hopping into bed (or truck) doesn’t a relationship make.  Their attraction is purely blood-based, while the attraction to Hoyt was real.  Not liking this pairing at all.

    I miss Pam and her exquisite bitchery.  And we need Viking Eric back.

    I was seriously LMBAO at the non smiling MLK!

  • Anonymous

    None of you seemed to address Andy calling Lafatyette/Mavis a “shemale” or something. He came off as very transphobic this episode. Definitely not a good look.

    I didn’t think this episode was very good actually. Although I liked Sookie’s dream for promoting polyamory/non-monogamy it was just very very cheesy and unpleasant to watch. I’m getting tired of these dreams.

    I like the improvements that Debbie has made this season, but with Alcide being the way that he is and her suspicions of Sookie she is again in a very unstable place. And now it looks like she’ll be doing a little more than chatting with Marcus in the next episode. Debbie, why??

    Yeah, a lot of characters are stupid lately, so I don’t fault the likes of Tara, Laffy, Jesus, Arlene, Jason and Jessica no more than I would perpetual idiots like Sookie. Stupidity seems to be key in moving the plot forward.

    This is like the third or fourth time Tara has gotten Sookie out of a jam. I can see why she makes a good friend but Sookie hasn’t really done much for her lately. Not since the funeral treatment for Eggs followed by a long-term absence for “vampire business.” But even that was . . . I don’t know. I’m wondering if Tara ever plans on visiting Eggs’ grave.

    I knew Jessica and Jason were going to do the deed, but I was not looking forward to it. It was just too soon and right after Jessica broke up with Hyot. The quickness of it would make it seem as though those two had been cheating behind Hyot’s back and that isn’t good. But why in the back of a truck? Weren’t they just deciding to go inside the house?

    I didn’t like how the Mavis storyline wrapped up, but the ending had me tearing up a bit. It’s really sad. This woman was desperately looking for her baby even beyond the grave.

  • Anonymous

    None of you seemed to address Andy calling Lafatyette/Mavis a “shemale” or something. He came off as very transphobic this episode. Definitely not a good look.

    I didn’t think this episode was very good actually. Although I liked Sookie’s dream for promoting polyamory/non-monogamy it was just very very cheesy and unpleasant to watch. I’m getting tired of these dreams.

    I like the improvements that Debbie has made this season, but with Alcide being the way that he is and her suspicions of Sookie she is again in a very unstable place. And now it looks like she’ll be doing a little more than chatting with Marcus in the next episode. Debbie, why??

    Yeah, a lot of characters are stupid lately, so I don’t fault the likes of Tara, Laffy, Jesus, Arlene, Jason and Jessica no more than I would perpetual idiots like Sookie. Stupidity seems to be key in moving the plot forward.

    This is like the third or fourth time Tara has gotten Sookie out of a jam. I can see why she makes a good friend but Sookie hasn’t really done much for her lately. Not since the funeral treatment for Eggs followed by a long-term absence for “vampire business.” But even that was . . . I don’t know. I’m wondering if Tara ever plans on visiting Eggs’ grave.

    I knew Jessica and Jason were going to do the deed, but I was not looking forward to it. It was just too soon and right after Jessica broke up with Hyot. The quickness of it would make it seem as though those two had been cheating behind Hyot’s back and that isn’t good. But why in the back of a truck? Weren’t they just deciding to go inside the house?

    I didn’t like how the Mavis storyline wrapped up, but the ending had me tearing up a bit. It’s really sad. This woman was desperately looking for her baby even beyond the grave.

  • Sanoe

    1. Nan is snarky, but she is no Pam.

    2. “Thanks for the info on Bill, Tara! Now I’m going to abandon you without a thought. You’re my BFF!”

    3. Laffy saw the ghost of Rene choking Arlene and the weirdness with Baby Mikey started before Jessica gave Arlene the doll. According to the episode’s writer (Brian Bucker), they didn’t know what the storyline would be at the beginning of the season, so maybe that’s a flub or maybe Rene is chilling with Hotshot in the Forgotten Plotlines room.

    4. Between the Winter Wonderland and Naughty Threesome v-trips, I can only assume that Sookie’s mental interior is some unholy combination of a vacuous Harlequin novel and a Zales’ commercial. The sad thing is that I believe this is what the writers and directors think their female audience finds sexy and romantic. 

    Not only is Sookie unimaginative but she’s out-of-touch. Sookie’s having this dream not while she’s safe and blissful with Eric, but after participating in a battle in her backyard, being shot, and learning Eric has been kidnapped. It’s like the writers couldn’t even take Sookie’s near-death experience seriously.

    5. I am simultaneously irritated at the lack of time the main plot is getting and irritated at the main plot for being so poorly put together.

    6. When a production company buys the adaption rights for a work, they can do whatever they want with the story, characters, etc. Nor would Harris get royalty checks as they’re not reprinting original material but adapting the material. There are a handful of authors with enough sway that they could insert clauses that give them a sort of veto power (JK Rowling and… that’s all I can think of. The Tolkien estate?) but Harris isn’t one of them.

  • Patty

    So, are we all satisfied that the fire at Arlene’s house and the “not your baby” writing on the wall was done by Mavis? Or is that sub-plot still open?

    Also, even though Sookie is getting major sexy face time lately, please note that she is now (1) unemployed (Tommy/Sam fired her) and (2) a drug user (she’s high on both Eric’s blood and Bill’s blood).  It’s only because Eric and Bill willingly give their blood to her that she doesn’t have to actually buy it in back alleys like Debbie.  Sookie’s basically the hot groupie who gets free blow from the band instead of having to buy rocks on the street.

  • Jill

    The thing with the Mavis/Bellefleur connection is that there might not actually be a Mavis/Bellefleur connection.  Arlene made a whole big deal out of the “my baby’s daddy was a serial killer!” thing.  Maybe Mavis’s connection to the baby (if there is one) is through Rene (? I think that was serial killer’s name, yeah?), like if Rene was somehow related to Mavis’s baby’s father? To me that makes more sense with the writer’s making such a BFD about Arlene’s baby’s parentage…but then again, that might be giving them too much credit for you know, planning things. 

    • Soulsentwined

      I assumed Mavis was more connected to the house and to the doll than any of the living characters.

  • http://startswithakesh.com/ Keshia

    I am really going to need them to stop
    comparing Vamp Rights to Civil Rights (wasn’t there a conversation around the
    vampires on the show mirroring the fight for gay rights?) I am more annoyed by
    the former connection and I don’t understand how they are similar.


    Tara, I feel so sorry for her. I don’t
    know how she and Sookie could have been friends for that long (but then again,
    wasn’t Sookie single before Bill? Maybe that was it). Sookie is the
    manifestation of male defined.


    I want my sexy Viking Eric back along
    with his one liners and wardrobe x1000000!          


    Plus, I want there to be a better explanation
    of Marvis/Bellefleurs connection.


    All of the plots seem so disjointed from one episode to
    the next, I wonder if the previous writer even reads the details of the other
    episodes other than where everyone is located at the moment. This season doesn’t
    even get a footnotes in comparisons to other seasons even though there is more
    action going on. I want to see more Everyone else and a whole lot less Sookie
    who is in self imposed danger versus Everyone else who has danger placed upon

    P.S. Seriously missing Viking Eric!