by Guest Contributors Eddie and Ralph
Eastern Conference: The Thuggish Seductress Dream Girl
Starting Line Up: Nicki Minaj, Lil’ Kim, Foxy Brown
If the notion is that Zooey Deschanel is an unreal amalgam of white male fantasies, female rappers like Nicki Minaj may offer that for Black males.
- The sexy female rapper who can outshine her male counterparts in guest verses.
- She’s as gully as she is sexy, equally comfortable talking about selling blow and blowjobs.
- Embodies a unique sexuality that is emulated by other women. In Nicki Minaj it’s a hyper-sexuality compared to the childlike sexuality of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl.
- The Nicki Minaj catsuit could be a parallel to the Manic Pixie Dream Girl’s lens-free horn-rimmed glasses.
Western Conference: The Multi Culti World Wanderer
Starting Line Up: Rashida Jones, Maya Rudolph, Rosario Dawson
If the notion is that she speaks primarily to the fantasies of Black males who aren’t into mainstream standards much in the same way that Zooey Deschanel fulfills the fantasies of indie rock loving, comic book reading White males.
- They can play many different ethnicities, playing the girlfriends of both White and Black actors without it raising an eyebrow.
- That ability to float in and out of a specific racial identity offers both the actress and her Black male admirers access into worlds where they may not normally feel represented. Rashida Jones is one of the few black actresses currently on a Thursday NBC sitcom. Jones and Rudolph were the only two people of color in the Beastie Boys “Make Some Noise” video.
- In “I Love You Man” Rashida Jones character is named “Zooey.”
- Both Dawson and Jones write comic books. Occult Crimes Taskforce and Frenemy of the State
- Rashida Jones’ dad is Quincy Jones. Maya Rudolph’s mom is Minnie Riperton. They may not play ukulele but they have the master tapes of some amazing stuff.
Southern Conference: The Neo Soul Warrior Princess
Starting Line Up: Erykah Badu, Ladybug Mecca, Jill Scott, Amel Larrieux, Lauryn Hill (DNP, Coach’s Decision)
If the notion that the Manic Pixie Dream Girl is more an escapist fantasy from the drudgery of the existing world.
- The woman whose hardcore afrocentricity inspires her male counterpart to seek more truth and knowledge of self.
- Clothing consists of t-shirts, thrift shop finds and kinte cloth.
- Far from being considered high maintenance, she is presumably content smoking out and listening to old Quincy Jones records.
- Badu’s live performances are often unique from show to show creating a sense that she travels the world free of cares.
- Their tastes run eclectic. Badu covers classic Chaka Khan and is inspired by indie darlings Matt & Kim.
- Badu and Hill were the Manic Pixie Dream Girls for many college guys who are now in their thirties; the same age as their white counterparts who pine over Zooey Deschanel.
Northern Conference: Downtown Wild Child Coutourist
Starting Line Up: Vashtie, Jack Davey, Santigold, Solange, Amanda Diva
If the notion that the Manic Pixie Dream Girl is escapist fantasy and fashion forward trendsetter.
- The woman whose is known as much for the being in the scene as they are for their artistic contributions.
- Their style is unique and brightly colored easily getting the attention of sneakerheads and club kids.
- If there’s a party, she never waits in line. If there’s a concert, she’s got backstage passes. Q-Tip calls her his “little sister.”
- Because she’s in the scene, she seems more approachable whether it’s at a party or on Twitter.
- She never seems to be attached or in a relationship thus giving every guy hope.
- Gives off an instability that excites and terrifies, where an amazing party ends up with a night in jail.
- Vashtie has been dubbed “Downtown’s Sweetheart” and played stickball in a NIKE sponsored event.
Midwest Conference: The Royal Order of the Daughters of Spinderella
Starting Line Up: Any black female DJ
If the notion is that she challenges and attracts in the way that Zooey Deschanel can probably play a guitar better than the guy who is falling for her.
- She’s attractive.
- She knows a lot about music. And keeps up on new music before most people are aware of it.
- She has access to cool parties. Unlike the Downtown Wild Child Coutourist, she’s not in the middle of the dance floor being hit on by everybody. She’s above the fray controlling the room.
- Her music knowledge challenges a man’s in a way that is emasculating in an arousing and nonthreatening way.