Can we hold fellow black women to blame for sabotaging our image on TV?

It got me thinking about my instinctual habit of feeling embarrassed or annoyed at these stereotypical media portrayals of black women.

[Editor's note: In 2009, I wrote a post inspired by RHOA, asking "Are you a credit to your race?" I wrote:

As last week's "Real Housewives of Atlanta" post has played out here and on What Tami Said and Racialicious (where it was crossposted), I have been thinking about what it means to represent the black race and how black people act as ambassadors to the mainstream world. There is this tendency, from which I am not immune, to feel embarrassed by and to make excuses for black folks who behave badly, or rather, act in a way contrary to a certain set of values and accepted norms. There is a real reason for this compulsion: Black people and other people of color are often unfairly judged as group by the mainstream. In other words, the actions of one equal the actions of all. And so, many of us, learn from the time we are children to mind ourselves around white folks--to not do anything that brings discredit to black people and, ideally, to live life with the goal of uplifting the race through our actions. Admittedly, this idea of being a proxy for the entire race has been tied to excellence and achievement--both wonderful things. But, ultimately, this way of thinking is a tyranny and a perpetuation of race bias. Read more...]

Tami: Yeah, so let’s get into that. Cause when we start talking about black women on television, it gets complicated. Part of me cringes when I watch a Nene Leakes on TV. Why can’t she just act differently? Must she be such a stereotype? Then, the other part of me says, why should this woman be any reflection on me? I know other people think she is, but why do I need to answer for her foolishness?

New: Yep. Whenever I turn on the television and see a black woman acting in a stereotypical fashion, I can only think about what white people must be thinking about us when they view those characters. Until I read your post, I never really thought that instinct to feel embarrassed was just me perpetuating a race bias.

I even found myself doing this in my everyday life. I work in the journalism industry in a north metro Atlanta county that has a black population that’s about 12 percent. There is only one black elected official (that’s counting six cities, the local board of education and county commission).

Tami: It’s instinctual, I think. It happens all the time. Like when you hear about some scandalous crime and sit waiting for them to show the photo of the perpetrator going “Please don’t let the person be black.” It’s because we’ve been so conditioned that the actions of one reflect on the whole race.

New: YES! I find myself doing that with the local news all the time, especially since the Atlanta area has big, black population.

In my job as a journalist for a local newspaper, I have noticed that I’m probably the only black person many of my sources have to deal with on a daily basis. So, whenever I’m around them, I always feel like I have to present my best face. My instincts tell me I need to project the best qualities because, whether I like it or not, I am representing my race…

Tami: Oh, I can so relate. I started my career in journalism on a newspaper copy desk and I’m well aware of the feeling that you have to represent for black folks.

New: I can remember sitting at one city council meeting, a black man came up and began to speak about a piece of property he owned the city was wanting to buy. This man was a native of the county and had a thick, southern accent. I remember feeling embarrassed because I felt like he was “embarrassing us.”

Tami: That’s what makes this all so complicated. Despite our best intentions, we end up judging and stereotyping in the same way the larger culture does.

New: Since I’ve read your blog entry, I’ve thought about that incident and realized I unnecessarily placed that burden upon myself and projected that same racial bias upon him that’s been placed upon us. We end up acting like the same people we chastise for stereotyping us.

Do you have any instances in which you did the same that you can share?

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