For Your Women’s History Month: Black Moses Barbie Is Back!

By Sexual Correspondent Andrea (AJ) Plaid

This is the second installation of Pierre Bennu’s Black Moses Barbie series.  In this ep: Black Moses Barbie has to use her Motivational Freedom Rifle…but not on whom you’d think.

Black Moses Barbie commercial #2 of 3 from pierre bennu on Vimeo.

Transcript after the jump.

Music: Mmmmmmmm (woo woo woo)….Black Moses Baaaar-bieeeee.

(Doorbell rings)

Slave Catcher 1: Hey, Cat Lady.  Sorry to barge in unannounced, but we’re looking for some escaped slaves that may have popped through here. You know the type: big, brawny, built like a stallion–

(Cat meows)

—golden-brown skin, and they absolutely hate to do work.  We need them to build this country’s infrastructure, of course, but they can’t seem to get their savage minds around the concept of working for free under inhumanly brutal conditions. They hate it.

I hope you don’t mind if we take a look around, do you?

(Cat meows)

Cat Lady: Feel free to take a look around, boys. But there’s nobody here–

(Cats meow randomly)

–but me and my cats.

(Cat purrs)

Runaway Ken: (murmurs) Oh my gosh!

Runaway Christie: (murmurs) Oh my gosh!

Runaway Ken: Oh my gosh!

Runaway Christie: Oh my gosh!

Runaway Ken: Oh my gosh!

Runaway Christie: Oh my gosh!

Runaway Ken: Oh my gosh!

Runaway Christie: Oh my gosh!

Runaway Ken: Oh my gosh–

Black Moses Barbie: Sh!

Slave Catcher 1: You know, there’s one thing I loathe more than cats, and that’s the n-word: “non-truthtellers.”

(Cat purrs)

Now if I were to find you were harboring slaves on the premises, that would make you an nnnnon-truthteller.  And the penalties would be quite severe. Quite!

(Cat hisses)

Slave Catcher 2: Hey, boss, I think I smell something.

Slave Catcher 1: Nyeah, I smell somebody.

Slave Catcher 2: Yeah, or maybe three-fifth of somebody. Heh heh heh.

Black Moses Barbie: Kiss three-fifths of this!

Slave Catcher 1: Why, it’s Black Moses herself!

Slave Catcher 2: (simultaneously) Harriet Tubman!

(Rifle cocks. Cat screeches. Gun shots.)

Slave Catcher 1: Nyeah.

Cat Lady: Ahhh, Harriet? What is that scent you’re wearing, dear? I absolutely love it.

Black Moses Barbie: It’s the sweet scent of freedom.

(Black Moses Barbie and Cat Lady laugh)

Black Moses Barbie: You really need to change that kitty litter.

Music: Mmmmmm mmmm mmmmmm.

Announcer: Black Moses Barbie Underground Dream House comes complete with Cat Lady Abolitionist. Scent of Freedom fragrance sold separately.