Rihanna’s Whips-and-Rope Confection

And, of course, this is the part in which people may want to analyze exactly why RiRi is doing a video about BDSM (especially when she’s tied up) post-Chris Brown because, they’d argue, doesn’t she want to heal from her abuse?  I could understand that explanation when discussing her guest spot with Eminem’s “Love the Way You Lie” because I thought, by her participating in a song grounded in an abuser’s perspective, she was “victim-empathizing” (“I can see why he was abusive—I must have done something wrong–so it’s OK”) with the man who abused her and from whom she just extricated herself.  In fact, I held that opinion until I realized that I was dictating how she “should” heal and whom she “should” forgive as part of it, as if I have a patent on the healing process.

As for this color-saturated whips-and-rope confection and what Rihanna “should” be doing as far as her indulging in kink post-intimate partner violence?  I suspect, because BDSM’s and abuses’ manifestations may look the same to some people—all they’re “seeing” and “hearing” about are the physical contact and the verbal viciousness and it all “looks” the same and it “looks” bad because some people cannot fathom why some other people want to be in pain as a part of their sexual experiences—it’s easy to see why some pearl-clutching would ensue.

But here’s the thing:  I severely doubt Rihanna consented to Chris Brown abusing her.  Abuse, by its very nature, is never about consent.  However, Rihanna (from what I gather) agreed to be, say, tied up and cellophaned for this video.  BDSM, by its very nature, is all about consent.  Now, can a person who’s been in abusive relationships use BDSM to work out zie’s issues around the abuse? Yes.  Can a person be involved in an abusive BDSM relationship? Yes.  But the part of the nuance is to realize that these are not the cases of every person who’s been abused or into BDSM.  Is this what’s going on with Rihanna? Shrug.

I think the video’s BDSM images are a bit of a cheat–as race play expert Mollena Williams said about Ciara’s “Love Sex Magic,” it’s kink used to sell musical units moreso than a celebration and/or exploration of the acts themselves. I also think it’s Rihanna conveying to us concerned viewers/fans and The Media — to whom she is both sub (the reporters, themselves with ball-gags in their mouths, dragging Rihanna into the press conference in a dress created from their employers’ headlines about the singer and taping her up in cellophane) and domme (celebrity gossip-monger Perez Hilton on a leash, and various press types whom Rihanna has taped to the bed and the wall as she struts and preens with her PVC gear and matching whip) — that, to quote Racialicious cohort Arturo García, she is still a sexual human being, not a Barbie doll needing to stay wrapped, boxed, and news-itemed as only An Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) Victim.

Surviving IPV hasn’t dampened her love for sex, especially switching kink involving grinding biker mamas, blow-up dolls, tongue-and-fruit play, and taping and kissing Black women of size … and all with Rihanna mischievously mugging at the camera. She’s a surviving sistah — which counteracts narratives that Black women survive abuses and other social/personal onslaughts and slights, including from Black men, with fierce stoicism–and doing so with a wink and a smile. (Again, that’s how she‘s surviving. It’s not a prescription for how and/or what others “should” do.)

What I also enjoy about “S&M” is the many people of various hues and sizes participating in RiRi’s kaleidoscopic kink display.   At the same time, she’s doing a lot of girl-girl action in the vid which, as several feminist and other cultural critics point out, such sexual action is seen in this society as safely titillating because it’s usually for the straight male gaze. As well, her domme role does have a racial element to it, namely that it plays into stereotypes of dominating Black women which lends itself to a popular race play scene of a Black woman domming a White man.

Page 2 of 3 | Previous page | Next page