The Racialicious Roundtable for Undercovers 1.5

Hosted by Arturo R. García

For a fleeting moment, Undercovers was on to something good. In introducing an Evil French Spy Couple, finally we had the chance to see the Blooms test themselves against real adversaries.

Naturally, by the end of “Not Without My Daughter,” they were dispatched. What with the show seemingly stable, ratings-wise, and more episodes on the way, one can only hope that they come back – and bring much-needed tension with them. But the Roundtable certainly won’t forget about them, nor one particular exchange between Steven and Hoyt …

Steven: Smart is the new sexy.
Hoyt: Trust me, it’s not.
I never thought I’d write this, but: Preach on, Hoyt.

jen*: Sexy is the new sexy. But in real life, no one is fooled by a pair of glasses – hot is hot, glasses or not. And Hoyt is …cute. But definitely hotter than Nash.
Mahsino: How about smart is now an important component of sexy? Honesty, Hoyt isn’t sexy because he’s a Creeper McCreeperson and has stalker-like tendencies.
Diana: I missed the smart in this episode. I like Hoyt. For me, he’s getting less annoying with each episode.
Andrea: Hmmmm….see, I’m torn with what everyone’s saying. For me, beauty is powered by smarts, both street and books with a healthy dose of emotional. But I dig where Hoyt is coming from, speaking from a nerdy man’s position. He’s most definitely nerdy-smart, which I think is sexy. But what a guy like Hoyt understands is, in the social scene of dating, he’d be Steven’s and Leo’s Good Friend At The Bar whom they’d beg the nth woman trying to holla at them to go over to talk to him. So, he’s right in a sense–probably because he’s been rejected. Rf: when he flipped Leo’s script to get the information from the clerk’s desk.
Mahsino: The fact that you had to spend that long debating the merits of his possible sexiness kind of proves that Hoyt isn’t sexy.
Andrea: Only to you, Mahsino. ;-)

“This is what normal people do. They have dinner parties.” And so, at least a few Blooms Keep Swingin’ fanfics began to be written. No, but seriously, anybody else a little disappointed we didn’t get more of a compare/contrast bit between them and the French duo?
Mahsino: Since this show desperately needs conflict, why not make the French duo their ongoing arch nemeses?
Arturo: I would support this idea wholeheartedly.
Diana: I enjoyed the ass-kicking GuGu gave the French woman, but I was not a fan of the couple versus couple thing overall. I do agree that one common nemesis who is consistent throughout the season would help this show immensely. Someone other than Mr. Crabby McCrabby Pants, that is.
Andrea: I’m with you, Diana–Samantha’s ass-kicking was soooo mixed martial-arts (major love to Urban Martial Arts!!). But, having the French couple as The Other Couple just wouldn’t sit well post ass-kicking. I mean, where would ya even build a friendship from there? Post-dinner knife fights?
Arturo: Who needs friendship? This would expand on the Blooms’ needing to work harder to get their edge back, without or McCrabbyPants breathing down their necks or Leo doing the same down Samantha’s pants.
jen*: It didn’t seem to me that the Blooms were doing all that poorly in their spy-comeback. At least not before they let this couple get the drop on them. I think I might enjoy seeing the Blooms interact with normal people, but we haven’t seen them with anyone other than Sam’s sister.
Mahsino: I was hoping to see the neighbor with the Jeri Curl.

Upside: Samantha kicking royal ass on the woman. First certified “Frak Yes!” moment of the year.
Diana: I really needed that. I wish she had been there to kick the French guy’s ass too.
Andrea: All I could do was applaud. That’s the ass-kicking Anita Hill should’ve given Virginia Thomas for having the gall to demand an apology for testifying against Clarence Thomas during his confirmation hearings.
Arturo: Speaking of mixed martial arts, I’m half-surprised Dana White and the UFC haven’t jumped on that PPV opportunity.
Mahsino: It doesn’t bode well that I’m way more interested in a Hill v Thomas MMA fight than anything Undercovers could come up with at this point.

Ok, so who do you think was on the phone with Lizzy?
Mahsino: NBC loves them some mommy issues, and since they alluded to their mom going AWOL, I propose she was on the phone with their long lost spy mother as played by the always marvelous Pam Grier. It would solve all this shows’ problems.
Diana: Oooooh, Pam Grier would be hot. I’m hoping it’s a whole family of spies with Pam as the matriarch. She could go all Foxy Brown and pull a gun out of her ‘fro! Yesssssss!
Andrea: See, I want N’Bushe Wright from Blade to make an appearance at the operative for whom Lizzy’s working for.
Arturo: While we’re at it, can we meet Steven’s sister, played by Freema Agyeman?
jen*: Bump Undercovers, I wanna watch the show y’all are talking about.

Open Mic!
jen*: All I know is I am thrilled to have an episode be Nash-free.
Andrea: Amen, jen*!
Diana: Aside from Gugu’s fight scene, I thought the episode was a big bore.
jen*: Agreed, Diana. I like to watch pretty people on tv, but I need a little more substance…