Blah blah True Blood Blah: S03 E10

Latoya: Seriously, Tami. Jason showed that he had a high EQ, and actually, oh, *thought* about the impact this information would have on Tara before just blurting shit out. And then here comes Sookie with her “help.” I was so glad Jason brought up Eggs. Can we start telling people the truth after they complete therapy?

Fairy Crunk Juice aside, I would have liked to hear from some wood nymphs. They are so slept on in our supernatural cannon. That’s no weirder than a maenad, right? Well, maybe that’s what Jesus is…

Andrea: I think the satyrs and centaurs have been underrepped, too. I think Alcide would make a better satyr myself.

Thea: Maybe instead we should talk about that True Blood Rolling Stone cover. Andrea, I know you had something to say.

Andrea: Yeah, that cover is all sorts of eyerollingly silly. Like the Rolling Stone cover featuring the Glee cast, it’s all about the white people. What’s really ratchet is that the most compelling characters on True Blood are the characters of color and the white supporting characters. But who’s getting pushed as the representatives of the show are boring-ass Sookie and Bill (the fact that Paquin and Moyer are real-life newlyweds may be a selling point) and Eric, who, as someone pointed out on another blog, who’s got that “O Hai!” look on his face, though I read it as, “Just doing my duty, y’all. After this, I’m taking my ass home. Tired of these two.” If I was the photographer or photo editor as RS, I would have demanded a bigger, naked group shot. Just no excuse for that omission.

Joe: Re: the True Blood cover. Eric is hot, as usual, and poor Bill has a flat butt. There! I said it. I don’t care if that’s bitchy. How easy would it be to Photoshop some roundness in?

Andrea: ROTFLMAO! Too true, Joe. Too true.

My Kingdom for a Reason Why Everybody Loves Sookie

(Featuring a round of “Eric, hot or not?”)

Thea: So maybe this is like a horse that’s been beat to death, but let’s talk about the Sookie Attraction Factor. True Blood is starting to feel a little like the Office, or the Big Bang Theory, or even Parks and Recreation (and Community may be starting a backslide into this): where the entire show is revolves around a love affair that is really the least interesting part of the show. Even the damn Rolling Stone cover revolves around that love affair, when we all know that we all would rather have seen Laffy, Tara, or even Hoyt blood-spattered and naked.

Joe: Truth.

Latoya: Is this the wrong time to confess I totally dig Leonard-and-Penny? If for no other reason than Sheldon saying “Leonard-and-Penny?” And I am thrilled to see Penny actually gaining a personality and some geek cred as the show goes on, even as poor Raj is losing it…

Oh wait, sorry got distracted. Back to True Blood. Dude, I was so done when Sookie matter-of-factly stated “I get that everyone’s attracted to me…” I HOPE they were trying to convey her bafflement with this crazy ass phenomenon. What, is her va-jay-jay made of honey, gold, and fairy crunk juice? I can’t deal with the Everyone Loves Sookie show. I just can’t.

Tami: And see the problem with the “everybody loves Sookie” narrative is that the character is alternately boring, annoying or vile. Eric has spent the last 100 years with the awesomeness that is Pam and SOOKIE is what he wants? Sookie rarely cares about anything not related to Sookie, yet Tara has been devoted to her for decades. She is not particularly smart or interesting or loyal or entertaining or anything. And don’t get me started on that musty Confederate vampire. What is supposed to be so engaging about Sookie or her paramour?

Andrea: I also think that Moyers and Paquin being real-life spouses offers a certain meta-ness that the show’s trying to sell, too…like on the Rolling Stone cover.

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