Selling The Fear: The ‘All-American Basketball Alliance’

by Special Correspondent Arturo R. García

Sweet River Baines

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Just before MLK Day, a jabrone by the name of Don “Moose” Lewis announced his intention to organize the All-American Basketball Alliance: a new hoops league open only to U.S.-born white people – you know, American natives, but not Native Americans.

As a rule, any “announcement” by self-avowed boxing and pro-wrestling promoters should be taken with not just a grain, but a whole mine’s worth of salt. Nevertheless, even for (former?) hucksters, this stunt is pretty low.

Nothing personal, says Commissioner Moose; it’s just that Those Darn POC have corrupted the game, as he told the Augusta Chronicle:

“There’s nothing hatred about what we’re doing,” he said. “I don’t hate anyone of color. But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here’s a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like.”

Damn you, Sweet River Baines, what hath you wrought? Also, while Grayson Boucher would technically be eligible to play in the Tea PartyAABA, as he is a “… natural born United States citizen with both parents of Caucasian race,” odds are he wouldn’t be welcome. Why, just look at him – playing alongside those black dudes like they’re people!

On a cynical level, Lewis’ plan for fetching $10,000 “licensee” fees makes some sense: how many times have you heard or overheard some older white guy, professing to be a basketball fan, lamenting that “all those guys don’t even have to jump to dunk anymore,” or complaining about how those guys who dress like Allen Iverson or behave like the pre-Laker Ron Artest are the norm (and while we’re at it, thanks for nothing, Gil and Javaris). This is the audience that Lewis at least claims to be playing to, as he told The Chronicle: “Would you want to go to the game and worry about a player flipping you off or attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch?” he said. “That’s the culture today, and in a free country we should have the right to move ourselves in a better direction.”

Most of the online editorial response so far has been justifiable mockery for this naked attempt at a race-baiting, mockery of sport in the name of concern-trolling. And Augusta mayor Deke Copenhaver told The Chronicle he wouldn’t want this “league” in his town. But, as on seemingly any newspaper’s site, the comments section reminds us there’s a whole other constituency out there:

“Copenhaver is a wimp and pityful excuse for a leader,so who cares what he will support. Anything that is exclusively white has to be racist doesn’t it. Liberals can’t make it on thier own.”

“As many of you know we have the NAACP, No whites, We have the United Negro College Fund, no whites, We have Miss Black America, no whites, We have Quanza, no whites, so now when someone describes the new league for Whites, everyone calls this person a racist!!!! …”

“Why is this racism? Isn’t there an NAACP? Aren’t there all black colleges? What about the Miss Black America contest? What about the United Negro College Fund? Are these not racist organizations? It’s funny that every time there is mention of something all white or that whites dare say they are proud of their heritage, it’s racism …”

“Isn’t this the same thing as BETV (sic) Black Entertainment TV?”

There’s no indication the AABA is going to fly – but I just hope this doesn’t lead to similarly despicable interests rearing their heads on our playing fields.