Identity Crises: The Racialicious Review of ‘Heroes’ 4.1 + 4.2

By Special Correspondent Arturo R. García

Heroes’ season premiere was two hours long. It only felt like four.

While accomplishing what it set out to do on a technical level, “Orientation” and “Jump, Push, Fall” failed the series’ most important objective: doing so while making the series seem fresh again. Instead, we got yet another lumbering opening salvo, where we learned that The Benetrellis & Co. are divided, and about to be conquered yet again.

The devil they know, Sylar, still doesn’t know he’s not really Nathan, but Sy’s old powers have started manifesting six weeks after the events of “An Invisible Thread,” which understandably makes the “Senator” freak out, and Angela freak out even more. Unfortunately for her, a guilt-ridden Big Matt won’t do her a solid and “upgrade” the mental block he installed [insert your own Microsoft Tech Support here, dear readers.] Of course, Matt still won’t tell anybody with experience dealing with metahumans that Sy has started appearing inside his mind at the most awkward times, including an unintentionally (?) hilarious turn at Matt’s rehab meeting.

Even the usually reliable HRG is slipping: he’s too creeped out to even face SyNate and even further estranged from Sandra. He even goes so far as to confess to Danko a desire to “cash out,” before the lawn gnome’s long-overdue murder starts pulling him, Peter and Tracy into contact with a devil they don’t know.

Enter The Mysterious Carnival, led by The Mysterious Samuel. Sam’s Mysterious eulogy for his Mysterious Dead Brother Joseph. As part of his Mysterious Plot – “a line was crossed,” he tells reluctant henchman Edgar – Sam cozies up to Hiro while Edgar jacks Noah (told you he was slippin’) for a Mysterious Compass.

Hiro’s run-in with Samuel comes at the worst possible time: faced with impending death following complications from his powers, Hiro’s increasing desperation (and continued de-evolution) leaves him easy prey for Samuel’s pitch – go back and “right the wrongs” of his life. Hiro’s Bucket List kicks off with something seemingly innocuous: he gets in the way of a slushee that had his sister’s name on it, re-writing canon history so that Kimiko falls for Ando instead of thinking the boys are goofballs – because how could she have gotten that impression, right?

Apparently the only person safe from these messes, is Claire, now studying under her real name at Generically Nice University – thanks, we’re told, to good GED scores. In this case, Annoying Roommate Annie is right on in calling bullsh-t. But as we all know, questioning Claire’s privilege comes with consequences: Annie is found dead not long after kicking ass at Guitar Hero. But as Claire and new uber-creepy would-be bff Gretchen prepare to investigate, we see she, along with Peter and Sylar (?) are next on the Mysterious Samuel’s hit-list. Claire-Bear’s in danger? Matt’s being an idiot? Hiro’s getting duped? Must be September.

The Racialicious Scorecard
Hiro & Ando:Their argument over Hiro’s condition, even with the hand-waving (we still don’t know exactly what damage Hiro’s powers are doing to him), was a nice moment, as was Hiro’s latest encounter with his younger self. But even if he’s distraught, it’s still disheartening to see Hiro can’t know enough to see that when a Hot Topic wash-out knows your name, only bad things can happen.

Mohinder: Who? Just kidding. But his only “appearance” was a name-check from Peter. Rumor has it, though, that he will show up later in the year and that things will get “hairy” for him.

The Haitian: Now we’re talking – his appearance was the only genuine surprise of the whole premiere, a true “OH HELL YEAH” moment. But in true Heroes fashion, he literally disappeared after mind-wiping Danko, which made HRG’s Al Green speech to Tracy look really, really weird. Look, Noah, if you want the rebound, that’s one thing, but don’t pretend your best partner hasn’t been out there watching your back.