Diversity Is the Spice of Life…Unless You’re the Spice
By Sexual Correspondent Andrea (AJ) Plaid
When my wife and I started LoveVoodoo 6 years ago, we wanted the site to bring people together. Many of the other adult dating or ‘Swingers’ sites are very segregated. There are “Black” swinger sites, “Hispanic” swinger sites and very little diversity on the larger sites. This never made any sense to us. Why not have a site where everyone is welcome and could feel comfortable? I think we have achieved this goal on LoveVoodoo.com; however, we wanted to take it to the next level. It is funny that we are calling this event “Colorful Fantasies”, but I think the exciting part of the trip is not, that you meet someone different than yourself. The exciting part is to learn how similar we actually are. LoveVoodoo.com and Colorful Fantasies are businesses that reflect our personal beliefs.
~~Todd Crawford, co-founder, LoveVoodoo.com
So said the press release for a race-inclusive swinging website.
I didn’t have enough hands to facepalm, to brow massage, to clasp in prayer.
I went to the site. This is what I found:
I need more hands.
It’s not the swinging I’m against: Racialicizens, please. If anything, I’m quite for it because it (and polyamory, for that matter) is an acknowledgment that some people feel sexual and/or romantic desires for others beside their primary partner and both people are willing and able to enjoy other partners in a consensual—and safer-sex–environment. And before folks want to climb on a table at the Anti-Racism Bar and, drunk on a sense of (self-) righteous, pontificate about the inherent evils of interracial swinging because it’s a breeding ground for racism and cheating and other social ills, let’s get a couple of things crystal:
There’s a big difference between swinging and cheating, as most swingers are open and honest with their partners they are unlikely to be receptive to people cheating on their partners in order to have sex. Most of the swinging community is made up with like minded swinging couples that like to share, unfortunately there are a lot of single males that try to get into the action and its not unknown for a single male to turn up to a swinging partner without a partner using the old ’she couldn’t make it excuse’. Single women and single bi-sexual women are generally welcome at most clubs, single men and bi-sexual single men are to a lesser extent.
The defining characteristic of polyamory is belief in the possibility of, and value of, multiple romantic loving relationships carried out “with the knowledge and consent of all partners concerned.”What distinguishes polyamory from traditional forms of non-monogamy (i.e. “cheating”) is an ideology that openness, goodwill, intense communication, and ethical behavior should prevail among all the parties involved. Powerful intimate bonding among three or more persons may occur. Some consider polyamory to be, at its root, the generalization of romantic couple-love beyond two people into something larger and more fundamental.
Furthermore:
It is possible for a person with polyamorous relationships to also engage in casual sex, traditional swinging, and other open relationships. Sometimes polyamorous people have been known to engage in infidelities or secret affairs, although this is no better accepted in polyamorous communities than in monogamous ones.
Or as blogger dopegirlfresh tweeted:
[T]here’s a diff[erence] [between] polyamory and just fucking for the sake of doing so. [People] have it twisted. [U]sually, polyamory involves not lying to your partner about where you are . . .
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