Are curls the new straight hair? [The Germany Files]

by Carolina Asuquo-Brown

Just a few weeks ago I was flipping through the pages of a fashion mag with a friend.

An editorial featuring an obviously biracial black/white model sporting a huge curly ‘fro caught our eye and that I have to say – I just loved the style.

I have been natural most of my life (not necessarily out of conviction but due to the chronic and persisting shortage of German hairstylists who can deal with wild biracial hair more on the afro side-or with any kind of biracial or black hair) save a few relaxed spells every few years after which I desperately longed for my kinks and curls to come back.

Anyway, my style of the moment is natural and the model’s medium-length curls were something I really considered desirable. The hairstyle did strike a chord with me, but my friend Jen, who has two African parents, is many a shade darker than I am and has shiny and fantastically healthy-looking relaxed tresses (which I have never managed to obtain) was a lot less enthusiastic about the model’s look.

“That’s something mixed girls get away with” she said, “They can get their hair to look like that – I couldn’t. I feel that curls are something like the latest fetish – it’s like there are black girls with great curls all around, advertisement, movies, magazines. And lately it has become a bit like what straight hair used to be-you’ve got to have it.”

It had never occurred to me, but speaking to Jen, I realised that she might be right. Over the next weeks everywhere I looked, be it the streets of my city or most of he few female black German TV-presenters – it really seemed that nowadays the fly mixed or black girl hast to have curls. Generous, semi-loose curls that is, tight enough to give you the volume but loose enough to be considered beautiful in a more mainstream way.

Suddenly I noticed that there were other mixed women like myself sporting curls and curly fros, short or big hair and that black girls with curls really seemed a growing trend in German cities. I also realised that hardly any women with tightly coiled hair, like Jen’s, wore their hair out or natural.

“That’s because of the pressure to have hair that at least gets near the look of ‘typical’ mixed race curls,” Jen complained and I feel that she definitely has a point.

The new trend that I and many other women of color have happily embraced seems to have it’s downside.

Obtaining a certain look hair seems to be almost as pressurising as it was to have bone straight hair back in the day. Only now curly hair is the new straight hair.

In Germany, the politics of (black) hair have been very different from the US. Up to this day, unlike the US, multigenerational mixed black people are almost non-existent in Germany. That is one reason why the “biracial” and “black” hair divide may be sharper than in the US. Though the first multigenerationally mixed families are only just emerging, most black Germans are still of direct African origin, be it through one parent or both.

The small “black” population after the second world war up until the 1960s was made up mainly by the biracial children of white German mothers and African American soldiers stationed in the country. From the mid-1960s onwards the fathers were mainly Africans who came to Germany from their newly independent countries to pursue their studies.

The “traditional” hairstyle for the majority of biracial Germans pre-1990s was to wear their hair natural, not necessarily because you liked it that way, but because there were no hairdresser or product options around.

In the olden days most of us had German mothers totally clueless of how to handle their offspring’s biracial hair. Bless them, I would be quite at a loss myself if I had to care for a child with bone straight European hair, and let us not forget – those were the days before the internet made black hair care tips and mail ordering stuff from the States widely accessible.

I remember that as late as the 80s the hairstyles worn by the Huxtable women in the “Cosby Show”or in MTV music clips were unobtainable for most black women in Germany. It was only in the early 1990s that the increasing number of new African immigrants led to the emergence of the African hair stylist in Germany.

Getting your hair relaxed soon became a sought after option, but even today there is a lack of well-qualified stylists and very often they are likely to be more skilled in doing braids and extensions than in relaxing biracial hair.

Following the new curly trend after many years of experimenting with relaxers, the number of German women of color wearing their curls in a natural state has increased, even if – as my friend made me aware – mostly amongst the mixed girls and women .

I went on to do my research on the internet and many a web community in which I expected women of color to celebrate the diversity of their natural hair was full of product-, money- and time-consuming tips how to obtain the perfect curl. To be fair, there are a few great sites out there catering to the needs of a diverse curl community and doing a fantastic job giving positive appreciation to our diverse hair. The positive examples I have in mind were those sites that actually gave style advice that kept in mind that you do need a certain hair type to start with – to be able to obtain a certain natural look without killing yourself for it. However my overall impression was that there seemed to be almost an obsession with obtaining a certain type of curly hair –and I wonder if Jen is right and right now society is just blatantly more accepting of the seemingly effortless shake-and-go curls or maybe a curly fro than of a tightly curled Afro? And that women whose hair just will not curl that way are left out of the new beauty standard? Once again?

It seems that what could be a liberating and long awaited expansion of a narrow beauty ideal has a flipside after all and that ultimately we should trust our hair, not the trend. Curls are great and we love them – but don’t stress yourself about them too much. Keep in mind that well treated hair is always beautiful, be it relaxed, curly or a straightforward Afro!


(Pictured: German celebrity Annabelle Mandeng)

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Trackbacks & Pings

  1. A Curly Conundrum | afrobella on 26 Aug 2009 at 7:16 pm

    [...] of curls lately. Curls have become common sightings. But, as a fascinating Racialicious article, Are Curls The New Straight Hair? by Carolina Asuquo-Brown, points out — it’s a certain kind of curl. The kind you see in the photo [...]

  2. Natural Exploration « ~Back to Curly~ on 27 Aug 2009 at 9:18 pm

    [...]  highlights another pretty sensitive topic in hot debate over at the Racialicious blog, “Are curls the new straight hair?”  If you’re hip to a lot of the birth control commercials out their with the [...]

  3. Links of Great Interest 8/28/09 | the Hathor Legacy on 28 Aug 2009 at 9:45 am

    [...] more on the politics of natural [...]

Comments

  1. mistersquid wrote:

    1983 called. They want their hair back.

  2. BlackIvy wrote:

    This is SO accurate! Real nappy hair gets no play. Not that its their fault, but biracial girls in advertising aren’t doing the black mainstream any favors. I might as well have my hair compared to whites’.

  3. Kandeezie wrote:

    I don’t think the idea of those ideal curls are only in Germany. It’s all over, sadly.

    Funny thing, a family friend just called me a sexual deviant because I sometimes wear my hair too ‘fro-y’ and according to him and his family, if I don’t have the desire to ‘tame’ my ‘wild’ hair, then who knows what else I’ll do with my body.

    Oh the joys of being natural…

  4. Tami wrote:

    Speaking from an American perspective, I think increased acceptance of natural hair on women of African descent is a good thing. I am thrilled that so many advertisers use models with twists and locs and shake-n-goes. (Although I’ve always found it curious that there seems to be a nappy head in every other ad you see–in far higher proportions than real life. At the same time, natural hair in fashion–not so much.)

    The problem, as I see it, is that though we have made strides in getting to a place where wearing natural hair is acceptable, too many of us still cling to the notion of straighter, finer, silkier hair (more European) being better. And so, suddenly there is a nappy hierarchy, where women (biracial or not) with smooth, shiny, soft and more uniform curls are thought to have more beautiful hair that women with kinky, coarse, fluffy, hair.

    I have encountered many women who are trying to be natural, but only so much as they can get their hair to look like the model in the picture accompanying this post. And so they spend oodles of money and time on lotions and potions, and ultimately are never happy and often walk away from being natural because it “takes too much time and money and effort.”

    I guess my point is that this is not a new problem (at least in this country)–this deifying of physical features that are closest to the Eurocentric ideal. But it is interesting how the beauty hierarchy manages to infect even those who are trying to embrace a look they feel is more natural to their heritage.

  5. Emma wrote:

    you’ve opened a can of worms but I am glad you did.
    this is happenign everywhere in the Us and UK. The fly black girl has curls and *refined features* but the one with no visible curl pattern? wheere is she?

    Even in the online natural world, many refuse to discuss this topic but keeping it real, those who get the most praise have a defined curl pattern. There is some type of subliminal message that it’s Ok to go natural as long as you hav ethat good hair.

    It’s just another standard that *authentic* (yall know what i mean) unambiguous black girls have to follow.

    Same sh*t , different story.

  6. Karine wrote:

    Wow, I never thought about curly hair that way. I am in Canada and I chose to have my hair relaxed with a Curl/Wave simply because it is easier to take care of my hair than have it relaxed with a Perm although my mother and my sister tried it and it didn’t work for them at all!

    Glad to see what’s up in Germany!

  7. A. wrote:

    Congratulations me. I’m still fucked.

    My hair doesn’t do the loose curls. My hair breaks brushes. It’s long and is THAT thick. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  8. n wrote:

    I was discussing natural hair with a friend today who said- but yours is ok,mine wouldnt be.
    I have long mopstring curls- deep kinky waves that sort of hang and if dry will stand up (kinda) on end. And when defined, it is acceptable. But when it looks like Zahara’s or Heidi Klums sons’ hair, then its sort of iffy.

    I moderated a natural hair group online for years and one of the hardest things to do was convince women that their hair was ok. That not all natural hair would be shiny or defined or have large curls and ringlets. That part of accepting natural hair is accepting the variations and not thinking a mass of tiny curls is uglier or worse than a mass of “well behaved” bouncy long HANGING curls.

  9. A.D. Nix wrote:

    @ Tami
    Nail on head. From Jheri to Miss Jessie.

  10. LQ wrote:

    Well, that’s discouraging. The only thing I could think is that maybe, maybe the move toward curls instead of just straight being fashionable is the leading edge of a trend toward more styles being acceptable in the so-called mainstream. It could happen…

  11. OnceUponaTime wrote:

    This is going to just bring up more of the old “good hair/bad hair” demons. IMO, whether you have loose curls or wooly tight kinks, as long as it’s natural it’s ok with me.

    I think this is something that is going to be talked to DEATH with no resolutions until everyone decides that “What I have IS good because that’s how nature/god(s) made me”. If you have kinky tight curls, rock them proudly, they’re beautiful! If you have loose curls, same thing!

  12. n wrote:

    @Once Upon a Time

    I suspect as European countries see an increase in their “black” populations, they will discover issues many of us consider old hat.

  13. Seattle Slim wrote:

    I just wrote a post about this on my blog, asking folks if they’ve noticed more curlies/nappies in ads and media the way I have. I am so glad I am not alone in my observation.

    I have seen, however, quite a few BW with kinkier curls in American print and media. I saw one with the kinkiest TWA on tv the other day and stopped my convo with Mr. Slim to comment on it.

    I’m happy to see it no matter the texture.

  14. Seattle Slim wrote:

    Tami,

    Preach. That’s what happened to me the first few times I went natural. This last time (I’m natural now), I have gotten, and am still getting to know my hair. I’m a 4A, 3C-ish, 4B and that’s all right. It took a while to get to that place because I wanted loose curls and the like.

    Now it doesn’t matter. I look at my hair as a little diverse community on my head; boroughs like in NY lol.

    Anyway, I think part of the problem is sisters not knowing that they can do with their hair and exploring other styles. Going to sites that show hairstyles and the like have been influential in giving me inspiration, and patience along this journey.

    All I know is I am just happy it’s not straight lol.

  15. B wrote:

    “This is SO accurate! Real nappy hair gets no play.”

    This is so true. It’s disheartening when I read natural hair care blogs and websites only to find them all touting the latest “organic” $35+jar or tub of goo that will magically turn turn naps into Tracey Ellis Ross ringlets in 10 easy steps. It’s like they’ve traded creamy crack for something even more addictive…the fantasy of “good hair” flowing from one’s scalp no matter how nappy it looks without a pound of product.

  16. Celeste wrote:

    Yep, this is old news. Damn you nappy heirarchy. Which is why you’ll see people using “silkeners” to get that defined curly look. In my mind, relaxed hair is more obviously black than “silkened hair” because it’s obvious that it’s fake straight. With “silkened hair”, only you know that you had to chemically process it to get defined curls. I was kinda dissappointed with the “natural hair” Sanathaa Lathan’s character went back to in Something New, I was expecting something less tame. Was that really her natural hair? I doubt that somewhat.
    I don’t have a good idea of exactly what my hair would do without the Phyto, however if I knew that I would have defined curls vs. course fluffy it would be a bit easier to make the big chop.

    @Kandeezie: what a bizarre conclusion for someone to reach….nutters

  17. thesciencegirl wrote:

    I have always found it interesting that the few black women pictured in mainstream (American) fashion mags are usually biracial and/or light-skinned, and they are sporting natural curly hairstyles. Yet, when I think of the black women in my acquaintance, the majority have relaxed hair, with the rest generally rocking braids or dreds of some sort. But I only see relaxed hair in black magazines (Ebony, Jet, etc). Why is that, I wonder? It’s like the magazines are celebrating natural hair, but only of the curly for variety, and completely ignoring other hair textures in the black community (no surprise there), while completing ignoring how many black women relax their hair. I read one article recently in Glamour or Marie Claire that talked about taking care of relaxed hair, and I was shocked.

    I do look for curly hair tips an styles, since my hair is very curly, and I find that it’s still not en vogue to be curly. The articles that do address curly hair usually show a white model with loose curls added ot her hair with a curling iron.

  18. Seattle Slim wrote:

    As someone who’s frequented those blogs, and written a post about “defined” curls, it has nothing to do with wanting it to look anything other than healthy.

    Why do BW do this? Tami, made a good point, but now any BW who wants defined curls is as bad as those with relaxers?

    I beg to differ, and they should not be compared because it is apples and oranges at the most basic level.

    Many nappies and curlies go for these products because they provide moisture. Natural hair is most often thirsty hair. These products not only define but they condition and moisturized, hence less breakage.

    I’ve eschewed kinky curly curling custard for good old fashioned coconut oil, and suave naturals shampoo and conditioner in coconut.

    Another reason these products are reviewed and discussed is because they are all natural for the most part (I am not speaking about things like Ms. Jessie’s silkener which, IMHO, is nothing but a texturizer). When you go natural, you have to get rid of all the crap that you used when relaxed. All the mineral oils, all the chemicals (parabens I believe), have to go because–and I can vouch for this–dry the hell out of your hair.

    Finally, depending on your hair type, you may have to try different products all at once or through trial and error because what works on your 4A side, may totally get nasty and gunky on your 4b side.

    I guess I just wonder if the harsher critiques are coming from women with chemically treated hair.

  19. Seattle Slim wrote:

    Oh, I forgot to mention, LeCoil.tumblr.com, is an excellent resource showing BW with all kinds of textures and lengths. They range from super kinky, to loose.

  20. Ruchama wrote:

    “Funny thing, a family friend just called me a sexual deviant because I sometimes wear my hair too ‘fro-y’ and according to him and his family, if I don’t have the desire to ‘tame’ my ‘wild’ hair, then who knows what else I’ll do with my body.”

    I’ve gotten similar comments (though not quite that direct — wow) about my hair. (I’m white, with mostly 3b hair.) People have told me that my hair doesn’t look professional and that people will have second thoughts about hiring me, because someone who doesn’t take the time and effort to get her hair to look neat and organized probably isn’t going to do work that’s neat and organized.

  21. eh wrote:

    I lurk here often, but I really don’t get some of these comments. I’ve been some form of natural (braids twist etc) since Sophomore year of high school, I guess about 15 years (minus my wedding and a year after my wedding).. The whole “defined curl” for many people is about being less frizzy. I have tight curls (I guess) but as my hair gets longer is gets looser (the weight), and hair w/my natural oils on it behave diff. then hair w/out. Biggest thing I’ve noticed is hard water, I can go to a city w/out hard water and my hair w/be the softest, shiniest, and not fizzy at all. In my town w/ the some of the hardest water in the country, it is a daily fight.

    I think we approach this hair thing all wrong from the onset. To me “natural” hair ( I count pressed hair in that) is all about health. Why should we risk increased rate of cancer, or our hair falling out simply to fit someone’s or even our own idea of beauty?

  22. aimerrouge wrote:

    Ok I rarely post anymore. Responses to comments that caught my eye.

    @ Kandeezie, you sexual deviant: I’ve had people ask me if still engage in routine hygeine. I’ve actually said to a person “Yes I still use deodorant.”

    Oh the joys of being natural indeed…

    @ Tami: There is a nappy hierarchy, where women (biracial or not) with smooth, shiny, soft and more uniform curls are thought to have more beautiful hair that women with kinky, coarse, fluffy, hair. Co-sign this.

    @ n : “I was discussing natural hair with a friend today who said- but yours is ok,mine wouldnt be. ” I hear this a lot too and I don’t have “good hair.” When I try to probe this issue, the woman always gets defenisive. Maybe my approach is wrong.

    @ Seattle Slim: “I think part of the problem is sisters not knowing that they can do with their hair and exploring other styles.” In my circle, women think it would be too much work. [Do you post on other sites with the same moniker? I think I know you. :) ]

  23. Celeste wrote:

    @sciencegirl: As far as mass media, they substitute black women with very expensive weaves for all the black women with relaxed hair. I can’t wait for Chris rocks’s documentary to come out.

  24. n wrote:

    @aimerrouge

    I walk a fine line because my hair is, to many, “acceptable”. So it easy for me to say “go natural” because the repercussions for me aren’t the same, not only due to hair texture, but the rest of my appearance. And I understand that I cant PUSH people to be natural, when the cost to them may be way more than the cost to me.
    But still, I do wish we were more comfortable with natural hair.

    @eh
    If natural black/”afro textured” hair is frizzy, why can’t “frizzy” be accepted? Who says frizzy is a bad thing?
    @Seattle Slim
    Some people do obsess about making sure they have a defined curl pattern, its not always just about the health or moisture of the hair.

    I use suave coconut conditioner as well. I didnt use any oils of any sort for about 15 years, but my job is indoors and the AC and heat dry it out, so now I pout pure coconut oil into the conditioner and leave it on my freshly rinsed hair. Works wonders.

    FWIW, I gel the hell out of mine when I go to work so I have curls and not puff. I dont have a problem with the bouff, but Im aware that Im already pushing it.

  25. Sobia wrote:

    Has anyone heard anything about Canada’s Governor General, Michaelle Jean’s hair? To be honest I’ve never heard anyone talk about her hair and she seems to sport both relaxed and natural hair from time to time – though it seems since she’s become GG this summer is the first time she’s “gone natural”.

  26. Seattle Slim wrote:

    @aimerrouge

    I do :D LOL

    You know about that too much work thing, I’m thinking that it might have something to do with perception. In the beginning it is a lot of work, and this could take a year (it took me about that long) to figure out what I can and can’t do with my hair. There’s not much that I can’t do, I just thought I couldn’t.

    Like I just did a 1940’s upsweep last month that was a hit with folks. Just gel and the curling iron on top on low (I could’ve used flexi-rods, but didn’t want to go to the gym in the am with rods in my hair lol). I would’ve never thought.

    Could it be that we perceive it be a lot of work because we are unsure about what styles work for us and which don’t? Now that I have more options and know my hair better, I feel a little more carefree.

    Also, twists are very versatile.

  27. Fiqah wrote:

    Okay, I try to stay outta these discussions – for a lot of reasons – but, um, I have a question.

    @Seattle Slim:

    I’m a 4A, 3C-ish, 4B

    I have absolutely no idea what this means. Could someone explain it for me?

  28. Joy wrote:

    “From Jheri to Miss Jessie.” – LMAO!!! Ahh Miss Jessie’s Buttercream.

    I like seeing different textures/styles on black women. That the pretty, loose curl is a style that’s not available to me is no biggie . . . there are lots of styles unavailable to me, but I appreciate them anyway.

    Now, as an avid magazine (Glamour, etc.) reader I loudly co-sign that black models with the loose curls or the wilder (but still curly vs. nappy) long afro styles get almost all the play. Rarely do you see straight or other natural styles (unless you’re reading my other favorite – Essence!).

    To Seattle Slim and anyone else who is anti-relaxer/straightened hair – can’t we all just get along? [LOL, I think I'm quoting somebody.] Natural hair doesn’t have a monopoly on healthy hair. :)

  29. ashlynn wrote:

    Two words.

    On. Point.

    So earlier this year I decided to go on my own hair journey, going back to my natural state of hair. But it’s thrown me for a loop. I noticed right away that there was still this cruel dichotomy, even in the natural world: either you have mixed girl curls or you’re trying to. Texlaxing, wet and wavy sew ins, all that. And if you weren’t about the natural, you were still hooked on the creamy crack, painstakingly monitoring every inch of growth. Just last night, I was caught in between a rock and a hard place.

    My baby sister is of mixed heritage, and as much as I love her, I can’t help but to feel slighted sometimes. She’s got the sandy brown easy curly hair, the grey eyes, the light skin, altogether creating yet another beauty image I will have to struggle with in my life. When my hair was natural, it was not enough- it was either straight or die back then; when I finally relaxed I realized that it was never as straight or as smooth as my mother’s, who is also of some mixed heritage; and now as I go back to natural I cannot help but to feel that resentment, in thinking that I FINALLY had the mainstream beauty ideas right in my fist, and I was just about to crush it into a million pieces, and then they pull a freaking 180 on me, deciding that what’s NEW and IN is somewhat within my ethnic spectrum, but still just out of reach.

    I’m aware that I have curls in my hair. I feel them and see them as they slowly grow in. But, for the black girls like me who are too light to be an Alek Wek and too dark to be a Rashida Jones, and too unwilling to go the distance of practically duct-taping someone else’s hair on their head, the new, now and next are just too far out of our reach.

    We’re like that anon poster who finds a funny Xzibit cartoon only to be replied to with a big ass OLD MEME surrounded by wheelchairs and sparkles.

  30. Kaonashi wrote:

    I think this is something that is going to be talked to DEATH with no resolutions until everyone decides that “What I have IS good because that’s how nature/god(s) made me”. If you have kinky tight curls, rock them proudly, they’re beautiful! If you have loose curls, same thing!

    Exactly. The hypocrisy on this subject pisses me off. Even within going natural there’s still a range of textures that you will see, so you should rock what’s healthy for YOU and not worry about what’s going on with someone else’s hair texture.

  31. Urban Suburbinite wrote:

    I actually love seeing more naturals in the media. I’ve worn my hair natural for most of my life. My parents were always afro-centric and my mother sent me to school with afro’s and afro puffs in the late 80’s, and oddly enough asian and white students never gave me grief about my hair, but from black students there was hell to pay for not being permed or pressed. So I get a kick out of seeing this new development.

    My hair is 3C (I’ve been heckled in public by kids calling me Scary Spice and Kelis, before the haircut) which can look looser as it grows longer, and can be picked out to look more afro-textured. I am jealous of 4C or tighter coiled hair, sometimes because it braids much nicer and holds the style longer.

    One big positive that I see in more women in my area going natural is freedom. I see way more sisters swimming, doing yoga, martial arts, riding bikes etc. No more worries about sweating anything out! It is sad that I’ve met more than one black woman who did not know how to swim, because of their hair! (Their words not mine.)

    I do have to agree that certain naturals are more coveted than others. This always reminds me of a moment that sticks in my craw. A few years ago at the Grammy’s Alicia Keys and India Irie were up for the same award. As Alicia is announced the winner (maybe her 6th that night IIRC) the camera shows a shot of India Irie watching from side stage (she had just finished performing). India looked sad, but still trying to maintain a gracious composure. Both women beautiful, equally talented (IMO) and sporting naturals, but that moment just spoke to me in a bad way. Maybe I’m just too sensitive.

  32. alc wrote:

    I’m surprised that you’d assume the model is biracial – light skin and “curly” hair do not a biracial person make.

    Here’s a history lesson, courtesy of Barbados:

    My hair is curly, just like my [black] mom’s. My grandmother’s hair is long and straight. My grandmother’s sister, however, had VERY kinky hair – yet her complexion lighter than that of most white people.

    We are not biracial, we all consider ourselves black. My great-great-grandmother is the only biracial person in our family tree, yet it wouldn’t surprise me if I’d had a light-skinned sister with curly hair. DNA’s weird like that.

    Also, that’s funny that you mention the Huxtable women as “unattainable” style. Mostly, their hair was natural, though it was often either blown or pressed straight. I’m sure Germany had hair dryers and straightening irons in the 80s. (er, at least West Germany!)

  33. Urban Suburbinite wrote:

    I just glanced over to a reality show and noticed yet another white participant with hair bleached to the point of breakage and with tacky weave riveted in.

    Is this their equivalent? I know that 1-2% of the worlds population is blond, but god knows how many women burn their hair out trying to get this look. It is my understanding that they can only bleach their hair 2-3 shades lighter and still have healthy hair. One you go 4 or more shades lighter, your hair will be brittle fragile and easily break off.

    So now there are a bunch of brunettes with bleached until broken off blonde hair and weave to fill it out. A friend of mine who works security at the airport has had to wand many of these women because those metal things they use to hold the weave in sets the detector off.

    Unrealistic beauty standards- ugh

  34. eh wrote:

    alc- I must clap along w/your post. I am not biracial, and if one more (black or white) person asks me this then I will just snap. My grandmother’s hair (and her sister) has a very loose curl, but she was dark as well, and as far as we’ve found out she didn’t have a drop of white in her far a long while. Genetics is a weird thing, and can’t we just say all black is beautiful? Heck I wish I could rock the puffs, I wish my skin was cool black and I wasn’t so blotchy/ w/ green veins everywhere, I wish my hair would hold braids, an I wish people wouldn’t automatically assume I or my sister have an attitude bc of our color. I think I have body dysmorphia bc I’ve never seen myself the way others apparently do.

  35. ashlynn wrote:

    @alc

    You are right- I’ve got two friends, one Guyanese and the other Jamaican with some Cuban ancestry, nothing really noticeable in terms of a mixed ancestor or anything, and both have a long mane of curly hair. Weird DNA indeed- but if anything, it can worsen another woman’s self esteem(not that it’s my friends’ responsibility to build them up, when they did nothing intentional in the first place) when she is of mostly black culture as well and she is put down my mainstream media whereas my two friends are exoticized to no end. Granted, those are the breaks, but not fitting into the 3C standard can make it hard to catch a break.

    Not to mention, there’s a whole lot of other psychological stuff going on- as you said, your grandma’s hair is straight, you and you mother’s is curly. But sadly enough, there are too many women who have grown up never even knowing what their mother’s hair really looks like b/c of relaxers and weaves, etc., and so never having a role model to look to when it came to rocking your natural hair(save for maybe that blurry afro picture from the 70’s, which hardly counts because not long after they permed the hell out of that shit. :( ).

  36. LBell wrote:

    In response to people with light skin and curly hair insisting on identifying as “black” and keeping in mind that race is a sociocultural construct first and foremost: There’s a difference between being genealogically “black” and culturally “black.” People who have obvious non-African ancestry can still choose to identify culturally as “black.” I know folks with 50% or more white ancestry who call themselves “black.” I wonder if this represents the one-drop rule in effect, a rule which has absolutely no basis in fact.

    At this point, and especially in my current situation where I’m seeing increasing numbers of part-black people trying to deny any evidence of their black heritage, I’m happy to see there are still multiracial people who aren’t ashamed of having black ancestry. So if you want to call yourself 100% black (no quotes), go ‘head on. :)

    Anyway, to the subject: Folks act like this is new when all it is is a repurposing of the same “good”/”bad” hair pathology that’s existed for generations.

    I have been natural for almost 14 years and I have that so-called “bad”, nappy stuff that everyone swears can’t be worn natural. I prefer to wear it loose, but given its length I have to keep it stretched out, otherwise it will shrink right down to my scalp and be a bear to comb out later. My methods for stretching result in a textured pattern that may show some waves and curls but at the end of the day it’s still obviously nappy. I know this because I almost never get compliments from black people on my hair; I usually get stares and confusion. In 14 years no one has EVER said to me, “Well, you have ‘good’ hair so it’s okay for you to be natural.” I’m also dark-skinned so you can imagine what’s going on in their heads.

    What I’ve learned is that, when it comes to hair at least, although a lot of black people’s bodies may be in 2009, some of their heads are still in 1862. I’ve also learned that the media isn’t really interested in making me feel good about myself as I am because they can’t make money off of that. Rather than pound my fists against their wall, I choose to be my own beauty standard.

  37. DivergentDana wrote:

    kay, I try to stay outta these discussions – for a lot of reasons – but, um, I have a question.

    @Seattle Slim:

    I’m a 4A, 3C-ish, 4B

    I have absolutely no idea what this means. Could someone explain it for me?

    It’s a hair typing code, invented by Andre of Oprah fame. The looser the curl, the lower the number, and the letter refers to the type of curl. It means that some of her hair is kinky with tiny corkscrew curls, some of it is kinky and in undefined zig-zags, and some of it is on the kinkier side of curly.

  38. n wrote:

    @eh

    I’m kinky haired with a generation of straight haired people both above and below me. Im also blotchy and veiny and sallow. I’m cool with that. I learned some years ago to love me, and my dissatisfaction is with society, not myself. I hope you can learn to appreciate you as you are and not wish to change to fit in, its not healthy when dark people do it and its not when light people do it.

    NOW, for something I like, though I know her lack of other “black” features makes the hair more acceptable to many-
    Chrystèle Saint Louis Augustin

    LOVED her fro. Not curls, not waves, but a big old frizzy natural.

  39. JL wrote:

    Huh. I learned something new today – numbered hair types. Looking at pics on the Internet, I think I’m a 3b or 3c, depending on the humidity. And like Urban Suburbanite, I had people calling me Scary Spice (and “Afro-Puff”) as a kid.

    I am mostly white, a quarter Hispanic (Turko-Cuban Jewish), and the people who comment are both black and white (but rarely anything other than black or white).

    Two things I noticed when I was growing up – a lot of white people assumed that I didn’t like my hair and would give me recommendations for relaxing products unasked (and then be awkward when I told them that I liked my hair as curly as it was). A lot of black people thought I was mixed black/white (and would fawn over my hair, which supports the idea of a curly-hair hierarchy with mixed-looking hair on top).

  40. storm wrote:

    Interesting discussion around the black hair wars.

    One question: what are 3C/4C/3B etc.? This terminology is all new to me.

  41. Adrianna wrote:

    All very true. I have notice this trend as well.

    when I went natural I prayed for curly defined pattern. I gave up last year trying to wish my hair to do that. My hair is a 4 b -c . I was really sad cause I found no hairstyle for my short hair. all the women they showed on the natural forums and blog had long natural hair ( even when it was a 4b-c). So I spent years in bantu knots and braids, cause it was the only style I knew to do and manage. my hair is finally growing after oh 5 years of being natural and having the same length when I started my locks. My hair hates combs and break easily . No one explained to me that I was never going to get my hair this long and curly. Until i read a natural hair book explaining that for some of us that look is impossible. Now I’m finally at peace with my hair.

    @thesciencegirl
    If you think Jet ebony and the other black mags in the US are bad, you should read African Mags usually they only exclusively advertise 1 weaves, perms and skin lighters especially skin lighters . Tag line want to be white and fair ? all over the 30 pages! Check out AMINA magazine which we get here and Haiti.

  42. n wrote:

    @Adrianna

    Im not sure which bugs me more the texture issue or the length issue. Going natural and then spending years obsessed about gaining length, wtf? Certain textures, even if long, still wont appear any differently because of shrinkage. So 12 inches of hair may look the same as 18 inches.

    Or people go “natural” and get locs. But then bleach them and wear them loose.

    Im not saying its wrong, or bad or that everyone does it for the same reasons. But getting over the mindfck, IMO, means we also realize that the whole obsession with long flowing hair and spirited defense that “we can have long hair too”, still signals some lack of acceptance of hair that shrinks and grows up and out rather than down.

    I have longish hair, so let me not come off as a hypocrite. I am not anti-long hair. Long hair, straight hair, blonde hair- its all ok IMO. The problem is when you can only accept your hair or feel good about yourself when it is a certain way- a way that is NOT “natural” for you.

  43. storm wrote:

    Ok…now I get what the 4b and c’s denote.

    I am sorry, but I find this “hair typing code’ to be astonishingly ridiculous. LMAO.

    Just how widespread is this practice? Am I now expected to know my hair code to inform hair stylists in advance of making an appt.? And what if my hair type is the kinkiest on the list, will some stylists decide that my hair is to “difficult” to manage and decide not to service me?

    Wow. This is just one more thing for black women to worry about when it comes to grooming their hair. Now, we all need to know what hair code type we are.

  44. Latoya Peterson wrote:

    A couple things.

    For people who need more clarity on the hair type thing, here’s the afrobella post where I first found out about them:

    http://www.afrobella.com/2008/11/06/celebrating-with-curls/

    Bella also says:

    My point is, forget hair types if you’re just starting out with natural hair. From my experience, I learned that you never truly know what kind of hair type you’re going to have until you take the plunge and transition. And no matter what it is, if you’re committed to being a truly natural afrobella, you’re going to learn to love it. Part of learning to love your natural texture, is learning to work with it. And part of that, comes from finding the perfect products to give your hair the moisture, nutrients, and love it needs.

    If you want to try to figure out your hair type, you can go here:

    http://blog.treasuredlocks.com/2008/07/14/what-is-my-hair-type-2/

    But I have to say that as someone who is almost two years into her natural, I personally have no use for that chart.

    Nothing it describes is like my hair.

    (And, I would suggest, that may be a good rule of thumb for those going natural – don’t assume your hair is going to be like any one else’s. Pay attention to it. Some things work better than others and some of these hard and fast “rules” will not work for you.)

    Re: the “Biracial” comments –

    As Carolina explained above:

    In Germany, the politics of (black) hair have been very different from the US. Up to this day, unlike the US, multigenerational mixed black people are almost non-existent in Germany. That is one reason why the “biracial” and “black” hair divide may be sharper than in the US. Though the first multigenerationally mixed families are only just emerging, most black Germans are still of direct African origin, be it through one parent or both.

    I had suggested she change some of her terminology used in the piece, which she did, but she also took pains to explain that in Germany, many of the blacks you see there are the product of African-German relationships or direct African lineage. Unlike the US, with what Wendi calls “the slavery era remix,” she notes that as Germany was more homogeneous, the types of hair there aren’t the types of surprises many of us in the States encounter when we transition.

  45. Joy wrote:

    @ Fiqah

    1 – Straight
    2 – Wavy
    3 – Curly
    4 – Kinky

    A – fine and thin
    B – medium-textured
    C – thick and coarse.
    (definitions from Hairlista.com)

    So, say India.Arie – probably 4b
    Rashida Jones – probably 2a or b

    ;)

  46. Iggles wrote:

    @ Ashlynn:

    “Not to mention, there’s a whole lot of other psychological stuff going on- as you said, your grandma’s hair is straight, you and you mother’s is curly. But sadly enough, there are too many women who have grown up never even knowing what their mother’s hair really looks like b/c of relaxers and weaves, etc., and so never having a role model to look to when it came to rocking your natural hair(save for maybe that blurry afro picture from the 70’s, which hardly counts because not long after they permed the hell out of that shit.”

    Wow, this really resonated with me. I went natural over 3 years ago. I am the first woman in my family to do so. I have never seen my mom or grandmothers wearing natural hair. There are pictures of my parents sporting huge ‘fros in the 70s. However, it was so long ago that my mother doesn’t remember how she cared for it.

    I would love to see what my family looks like natural. It took the older folks a long time to accept the way I wear my hair, but I know it’s unlikely that they would take the plunge anytime soon. Though my eldest sister is experimenting with different styles, she is still partially relaxed.

    If/when I have kids I definitely will not perm their hair. I like that the Obamas keep their girls’ hair natural. They either wear it pressed or in braids.

  47. Rexdale_RBG wrote:

    ok me ima guy I looked at that shit idk im probably what 2c-3c (longer it gets curlier it gets but still kinda wavyish curlz dat ethiopian hair cuzz)

    but me i never cared what girls had but ye itz def like girls (o Im in Toronto btw) depending on which part of the continent they were from like lets say west african a lot of the girls will straighten it or wear a weave unless they mixed where theyll have either curls or straighten.

    Me I like that natural shit better. On the other side of the continent umm Somali girls never show their hair :P na they usually got it natural while most of the indian/ethiopian girls straighten it but you do see the odd one who wears her curls naturally.

    Rarely seen a girl with just a fro but nuff have braids etc but they mostly rasta girls I like it all lol but def natural over euro hair still. lol

  48. Ruchama wrote:

    I found this page pretty useful for the hair types, since it has pictures. http://www.naturallycurly.com/hair-types

  49. Fiqah wrote:

    @Divergent Dana, LDP and Joy: Thanks for the clarification. Ooooooh, I don’t like this system at all. It gives me that same “ick” feeling I get when Black folks talk about hair “grades.” Same old oppression repackaged as empowerment. Pass.

  50. Rexdale_RBG wrote:

    actually na im not no 2 lol im 3c but itz soft but

    Iggles its true though still my sister she doesnt want to do no straightening shit but funny thing is lol now my moms doesnt do shit anymore either and my lil sister has straighter hair so it dont matter but its weird cuz 1/2 of it still rises off her head.

    We cant do shit till we love ourselves so you already know you know FIST UP

  51. n wrote:

    Hair typing can be useful when discussing hair care with other women. My naps may require different care from your naps, that’s good to know. I need to know what I can expect my hair to look like in a natural normal healthy state and since few of us have local people to help, having a code to identify others whose hair needs and appearance may be similar can help.
    My hair when natural and healthy has little shine, some sheen, needs no oil and about 50% shrinkage. A code to identify other women with hair that does that makes it way easier to identify those who can share hair care tips or to see how they style theirs. Knowing what others hair does and doesnt do normalizes it, so instead of wondering whats WRONG because you dont have spirals or sheen or cant get the frizz to go away, you realize there are plenty whose healthy hair is just like yours. I would hope its not a hierarchy, but more like identifying dry skin v/s oil v/s combination skin care.
    My oily skin has large pores, always shines and never needs lotion. I NEED to know how to care for it and getting skin care tips from women with dry skin would be all wrong AND make me feel ugly for not being able to achieve the same looks they do with the same products.

  52. storm wrote:

    @LaToya,
    Thanks for the links on the hair types. I got about 2 paragraphs in on the Afrobella site and had to stop. Sorry….the whole concept of grading our hair texture gives me an icky feeling in my gut. I can’t do it.

    I’ve been happily nappy now for almost 10 years, and have never had a need to grade my hair texture. My hair is like the African bush — thick, coarse and wild. And I love it.

    @Fiqah,
    Co-sign. The hair texturing typing reminds me too much of the “good” hair debate.

  53. aimerrouge wrote:

    Here a question for those of you who don’t like hair typing: What would you offer as an alternative for descriptors? What is the vocabulary that is appropriate to use? Should this not be discussed?

  54. Urban Suburbinite wrote:

    “Unlike the US, with what Wendi calls “the slavery era remix,” she notes that as Germany was more homogeneous, the types of hair there aren’t the types of surprises many of us in the States encounter when we transition.”

    Why are the hair types more homogeneous? Did Germany’s African population primarily migrate from only one part of Africa? I ask because I have noticed the Somalians and Ethiopians that I have met, have hair that is much different from the South Africans and Nigerians I have met, and their hair is still different from some students that I met from Malawi and Zimbabwe. They all wore naturals except for the Nigerian girls I went to H.S. with. They had naturals as freshman, but by junior year had relaxers.

    It just seems to me that there is more than one type of black hair to begin with. So how can one type be considered more black or biracial? Is a Somalian’s hair less black than Nigerian’s?

    I disagree with some of the statements that seem to suggest that anyone with less than 4c must have some white ancestry.

    I do agree that valuing one type of hair over another has always been a mind fuck for black women and men (hence the “wave” cap). I still get pissed every time I see a little girl get that giant head barbie hair styling doll. You know the one with just a head neck and shoulders?

    http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3113975

    That thing is evil.

  55. Fiqah wrote:

    @aimerrouge: Of course this should be discussed. What I and some of the other commenters are finding somewhat problematic is how that scale reinforces a normative hair type/texture. “1a” hair would be straight and fine-textured. That feels disturbingly familiar. I’m not sure what the best way to categorize (sigh…) hair is, and I do think that for the purposes of styling this could be useful.

    But I also know when something doesn’t sit well with me, there’s usually a good reason. And I’m also not gonna kid myself about the jacked-up dynamics that this manner of categorization allows for.

  56. Latoya Peterson wrote:

    @aimerrouge -

    I would advocate for a more individualized discussion of hair, especially as in my experience, I have seen more people use this guide as a ranking and not as a a treatment guide.

    So, I was recently on a trip where a few women were wondering about natural hair and treatment. And I noticed that there was just a lack of knowledge all around – knowledge about what makes their own hair unique. Everything was framed as a problem, like “well, my hair doesn’t make curls like yours does so I can’t manage it.” Part of my answer was “If your hair won’t do it, it probably isn’t supposed to do it.” But I feel like framing the hair into types kind of puts forth another type of ideal to live up to – i.e. what’s proper for your hair type.

    So, in sum, I don’t have a neat answer, except to describe things thoroughly, to be open to trying new styles and tactics, but to be cognizant that your hair is your own, and the only standards it has to meet it what it sets for itself.

    @Urban Suburbinite –

    Right, which is why I nixed the term “African Hair.” There isn’t one type. However, the point Carolina makes is valid, in that a lot of people can point to the shifting textures as a result of a change in the demographic make up of Germany. Before, the assumption was that all hair would be straight; now with more racial mixing, people are developing different standards, even though they have the same issues with care.

    I used the word “surprise” for African-Americans because, many times, that’s exactly what it is. There may not be the ability to look up the family tree and understand why curls appear here and kinks appear there, or who in the family added blond undertones to the mix. Now, I am not saying that knowing what family members contributed to your hair texture makes things any easier – clearly, it does not.

    But I do wonder if there would not be an added benefit to being able to trace hair stories and hair care and understand where certain things come from.

  57. Ruchama wrote:

    One thing that I find interesting about the hair types is that it doesn’t differentiate between “white” hair and “black” hair. I know that my mother would hate the page that I linked to, because her hair is definitely 4a, and all the pictures used to illustrate type 4 hair are black. We’re white, and she cannot stand any hint of a suggestion that her hair is anything like black people’s hair. I remember quite a few times that she came back from the beauty parlor quite distressed and asked all of us, “Does it look like black hair?” several times, and had to be told “no” several times before she’d be satisfied with her style. (If it was styled with its natural texture, she’d be worried it looked too much like an afro. If it was straightened, she’d be worried it looked too much like a black woman’s straightened hair.)

    Having the types arranged like they are kind of takes race out of the picture, to a certain extent — I’m 3a/b (the front of my hair around my face is closer to 3a, the back is pretty much 3b, and the bit right above the nape of my neck can get toward 3c), and when I’m looking for products or styles for my hair, I can now find products that are designed for 3b hair, no matter what the race of the person below the hair is. There are even curly kid products now! When I was a kid, the only options were the products made for “white” hair (which all left my hair as a dry, frizzy mess) or the ones for “black” hair (which my mom never tried on me, but I’m pretty sure they would have weighed my hair down too much.)

  58. Joy wrote:

    @Fiqah and other people who feel “icked” :)

    I see how this can look like an updated good/bad hair distinction, but for serious hair people it’s more like the categories of skin, you know – dry, oily, combination, etc.

    It’s more helpful for a woman saying what has really worked for or helped her hair to say “I have 3b hair and I’m relaxed” or “I have 4a hair and I’m natural” then to just say “I’m black and my hair is natural” or “I have a relaxer.” Just hearing you’re natural doesn’t tell me a thing about whether our hair is similar.

    Now, putting this info on say a dating profile would be whack. LOL, but when people start talking about products, procedures, and stylists it helps to know what kind of hair they have before deciding whether to invest the time/money/effort. ;)

  59. Seattle Slim wrote:

    58 Joy,

    Cosign. I figured out my hair type by accident, trying to find a product that would not dry my hair out. My hair, I found, needs extra TLC, straight or relaxed.

    I don’t see the need or the point in calling it ridiculous because it helps some women. If it doesn’t help you, it doesn’t help you and it is what it is.

    The “hair type chart” is a tool that women of all races can use (black or white; race is not a factor) to help.

    What people are not understanding is the more info the better. When I first went natural in 1999 and 2002, there was NO info. I went on to kill my hair and then relaxed it, convinced it wasn’t for me. When I went natural in 2007, I texturized once believing that it would help my curls, wanting to get the look folks mentioned because I did not have info. In 2008, when I big chopped again, the info was astounding and quite frankly, it helped me get my head out of my rear, and take care of my hair. It went so well I big chopped again in 2009 (January) and haven’t looked back since. This Sept will be my first real and true nappiversary.

    I don’t care what BW use to figure out their hair, as long as they love it, love themselves and stay natural.

    There is no hate for “relaxies” lol. I’ve been there. However, relaxing is an exception and not the rule. The more of us who start to wear and keep our hair natural, the better. I don’t care what the means are.

    BW have been fawning over their hair for centuries, it is our crown indeed. I, and all of the women I’ve talked to on the internet, have never not once used their “hair grade” the way we use straight vs. natural. They cannot even be compared.

    Matter of fact, I have to write a post tonight, on a FB friend of mine who has relaxed after going natural several times because folks called said she looked “dirty,” like a “slave,” and like “Frederick Douglass.” There is much work to do.

  60. mute wrote:

    I’ve only come across the number/letter system of categorization online, but I never thought of it as a ranking system. I don’t know if the originators of it intended it as such or not. I *do* understand the objections and the reservations, but all the folks who use it (I never have) are not necessarily employing it sub-consciously to devalue black hair. They may really just be using it as a helpful way of description. Of course we don’t all have the same hair–everyone has to experiment and see what works for them in the end–but I can see how the number/letter system can be a helpful way to find people with similar features as your own that might be able to suggest more helpful tips.

  61. R.G. wrote:

    I started occasionally wearing my hair natural (not flat ironed) in middle school when it accidentally got wet one day and everyone (at my majority white school) cooed at the curls. For years, I scoffed at anyone who used relaxers because, basically, I thought all Black people had hair like mine (the only other natural Black hair I’d seen was that of my fam who have hair similar to mine or finer). Then I started noticing that those random model scouts at the mall only came up to me when my hair was curly and still wet and/or moisturized. When my hair was flat-ironed straight? Up in a bun? I was invisible again. By HS I learned that straight hair was more identifiably “Black” than curly hair which can mark you as “mixed” (which is, of course, better than Black–duh). So yeah, definitely agree that the ranking system of Black hair is very nuanced. It’s a privilege to be able to wear your hair like the Black friend in a birth control commercial. Some women in my family will turn their nose up at the “insecure” chicks with relaxers. But it’s really not that easy for everyone to go natural. Especially if you have “bad” hair. Or if getting jobs/dates is at all important to you. “Good” hair still reigns supreme unfortunately– and the more you can advertise your naturally “good” texture the better.

  62. ashlynn wrote:

    @Iggles,
    Thanks. My grandmother is undergoing chemo for the second time in the last decade; her hair fell out this time, but has grown back so well- it’s disgustingly soft and I almost worry that there will be some kind of radiation-inused relaxer coming in the near future. LOL

    But I can’t help wondering what I might have been like had she always had a cute ari like she does now. Would I have been so eager to relax my hair? What if my mother stuck with her giant puff- would I have had a role model, a figure in my life that made me feel comfortable with my natural nappy self? It’s a question that a LOT of black women should be asking themselves, at least for the sake of their sons and daughters.

    @Ruchama? really? I hate to say “pix or it didn’t happen,” b/c I do believe you, it’s just I’m trying to imagine it and I’m getting a visual something like when people do “reverse perms”. Which isn’t a good visual, trust. :)

    And regarding the hair type scale, though I have personally found it helpful- I didn’t know that creams and serums would work best on my hair because it doesn’t absorb water or nutrients as well with watery products- I definitely see it’s potential for harm. Mentioning that you’re a 3b in conversation is almost becoming second nature to you if you frequent hair care forums; the fact that the 3a/b/c hair type is seen as the hair type for natural black women in the mainstream( don’t front- almost EVERY natural girl you see in a McDonald’s commercial has that big mixed chick/Sideshow Bob afro, lmaoo) can certainly be frustrating to a 4c, especially a 4c who’s struggling with growth (again, another mainstream ideal and stereotype). We must use hair typing only as a positive asset, not one intended to put down others or assert your place in the hierarchy of desirability and the ever-suffocating beauty ideal.

  63. Ruchama wrote:

    @ashlynn — The “really?” in response to a white person with 4a hair? Search Google Image for “jewfro.” You’ll get lots of pictures of white people with 3c or 4a hair. My mom straightens her hair now, but she wore it natural for most of the late seventies and eighties, and when she didn’t get it cut often, it could grow up at least four or five inches or so, whereas my hair will start hanging down when it’s longer than about two inches. My hair gets mostly straight when it gets wet, then curls again as it dries, but my mom’s stays curled when it’s wet.

  64. Emmeaki wrote:

    R.G wrote:

    By HS I learned that straight hair was more identifiably “Black” than curly hair which can mark you as “mixed” (which is, of course, better than Black–duh).

    This is true. Once I got rid of my relaxer, started using a texturizer and wearing my hair curly, all of a sudden people started asking me if I was mixed, “from the Islands”, or Latina. (Random people still often come up to me speaking Spanish, asking for directions and such. Thank god I can speak Spanish!)

    Or some black people will assume that I am wearing a weave since my curly hair is down to my shoulders.

    It’s funny because without the texturizer and hair gel, my hair is very kinky and what some would consider “bad” hair. It’s amazing how hair texture can affect people’s perception of you.

  65. chicagorose wrote:

    About the 70s massive fros. Someone may have already mentioned it, but at that point in time, a good portion of women were still pressing and curling their hair. So opting to go natural wasn’t the long drawn out thing it is today, save for the men who had to obtain length. The fros were called blowouts. Pressing over time weakens/loosens the bonds/kinks. The hair was still stretched using a hand dryer to obtain that buoyant fluffy appearance. They were natural but it still required a salon trip and lots of upkeep.

  66. Adrianna wrote:

    @n yes I worried about length. I had severely damaged hair growing up I would lose it due to stress and due to perming it . I would find myself at the baber shop to shave it all due to balding spots. I went to catholic school so my hair in it’s natural state was never truly accepted they subtlety wanted you to get a perm to fit in with the image of the school. In fact to get into their secretarial program the perm is a must or you won’t get in.. Went natural again after high school and still my short natural remain short after 5 years +, it suffered severe breakage. And I spent give and take 10 year with short hair whether permed or natural i just was not seeing growth. If there were any it would all fall off after months. Locking my hair was the only way to go for style diversity . after a few years in bantu knots and a short fro. I really got tired of the hairstyle . There is no WTF momont to be had here I was just really frustrated that lot’s hairstyles were not within my reach . I would have loved a big fro , or a frohawk , or the be able to brain my own hair having it look healthy . Sue me I had big fro envy regardless of texture I’d see a black women with big fro and had salivate over it. I too wanted my out of control big fro.

    The hair category help. I stopped me from buying product not appropriate for my hair. My hair craves moisture. I don’t have deep purse when it come to product.

  67. Celeste wrote:

    @ Seattle: No they didn’t call her Frederick Douglas! Why didn’t they just say “We don’t like you the way you are, please continue to alter your appearance based on my White supremacist values, thanks!” I’m guessing the commenters were other black people.

  68. n wrote:

    @chicagorose
    I’d hesitate to call a blownout fro completely “natural”. It was very lightly straightened mechanically and with heat. Part of the reason many people with certain hair textures are caught up in the whole “Oh God I have slave hair, I look like Buckwheat and what is wrong with Zahara/Maxwell/whoever’s hair” is that what we think of as natural and use as a reference point is hair that has been blown out.

    @Adrianna
    My bad. I know having hair is important for women and that especially for black women being “bald headed” is difficult. I didn’t want to come off as dismissive of the desire to have long hair, whether it be a fro or long and hanging. I just do wish that we could, if our hair doesn’t happen to be the sort that gets big and tall or long and loose, be ok with that as long as its healthy.

    My daughter’s hair was waist length, she cut it “short” (a little past her shoulders). Some people acted as if I had allowed her to poke out her eye or cut off a finger. When my hair was 3 inches long people were MORTIFIED.
    Again, I admit that my hair is long, I dont like feeling like Im promoting short hair acceptance when mine isn’t short. But mine isn’t long because I TRY to grow it, its because I neglect it. I’m all for just relaxing, no pun intended, and learning to love and accept your hair as is.

    I cant do a lot of things with my hair that I want to do. In fact, pretty much all I can do with mine without it breaking is nothing. LOL I accept my hair’s limitations. But you know, the white women I work with wear their hair the same way EVERY SINGLE DAY. For the past 2 years, none has changed their hair. So you know, I think we all just learn what our hair will do, live with and accept our limitations. We may only have 2 styles we can wear. I think sometimes we have to TOTALLY throw out our expectations and start from scratch
    Sorry. I’m preaching.

    @Seattle Slim
    When girls have natural hair in braids or “plaits” (I don’t know the difference) and there are no rubber bands or anything, you do get those slave or pickaninny comments. Its associated with being rural and unsophisticated and children. Men can get away with it, women are supposed to have Coiffed hair.

  69. bdsista wrote:

    Interesting, I did not know the codes, so thanks, but this reminds me of an experiment I tried last spring when I went to Atlanta. I saw my girlfriend daughter had real soft curls and I know she is straight up nappy cuz I have sat around while her hair got braided once. So I ask about the product, and she pulls out some stuff and I wash my (relaxed) hair, really hoping to get a break from the clip on ponytails and instaweaves in the heat. She tells me to put it on wet and let my hair air dry and it is suppossed to dry into these ringlets. By the time it had dried and I had gorged myself at the soul food place on Cascade, my head was hard thick, unpenetrable nappy on the back of my head and dry bushyon the front and sides and that was with a PERM! My head was so happy to be free I was breaking rubber bands tryin to pull it back. So, its back to the obviously relaxed and/or weave look for me as I choose to wear my hair that way. Interestingly, it breaks off really badly when I wear it natural and spend 24/7 putting Carols Daughter oils and creams and other stuff on it. So ironically, it is protected by the weave cuz its cornrowwed down to my head.
    Guess my soft curls will come out da pack from the beauty supply store.
    But interesting note on the beauty standard shift.

  70. Reader2009 wrote:

    I’m an African American woman with natural hair, which has been relaxed in the past. I have noticed something of the hierarchy discussed. My hair, which would be 3b/4a, is closer to “mixed hair,” although not nearly as loose as the hair on the model in the photo (Her hair looks like it’s been straightened and then curled, but I could be wrong.).

    From reading Afrobella.com and other sites I know that women with tighter, kinkier hair feel excluded, but I’m at a loss because I honestly don’t know what their hair looks like in its natural state.

    I also don’t think that the number and letter system is intended to be discriminatory. It’s descriptive and an aid to finding out which products might be best for one’s hair — there are so many products that it’s a frustrating and expensive process to find basic grooming materials.

  71. Reader2009 wrote:

    I meant “3c/4a” hair. I don’t pay too much attention to these categories.

  72. Urban Suburbinite wrote:

    One thing about going natural is that sometimes it takes a re-education on how to care for your hair. Just some advice to people experiencing breakage after going natural.

    Hair care companies make money off of your hair being unhealthy , I’m talking to you Miss Jessie. So that you will always buy the next miracle product they’re pushing. I have experienced the same type of breakage in the past. My hair has become so much stronger and healthier since I stopped using these products. My pocket book is healthier too.

    Best conditioner* – Mayonaise & Olive Oil
    Best moisturizer* – Mixture of Olive Oil & Mahabhringaraj oil (found at the Indian grocery store) sprayed on wet hair. My sister added Coconut and Peanut oil for hers.
    Best comb – wide with the teeth being no closer than 1/4 apart. Throw away those close itty bitty combs, they are NOT for curly or kinky hair and will only break it off. (I really only comb my hair after shampooing to get out the shedding hairs, I don’t feel that my hair needs to be combed daily, and my hair appreciates that.)

    * for me, you might find that something else works better for you.

    How did I find out about this? I saw a woman with beautiful healthy 4c hair, and asked her what she used.

    Remember that scene in Coming to America where the barber (Eddie Murphy) asks the prince (Eddie Murphy) if he has a perm because his hair is so soft? The prince says that he only puts fruit and berry juice in his hair. Same principle.

  73. Seattle Slim wrote:

    Celeste,

    Yes they did. I just did a post with my top responses to ignorant commentary :D lol.

    She said they were fam, so I’m thinking it was other black folks.

    Great point about the relaxer making one identifiably black. I gotta write about that. That’s SUCH a good point.

  74. Seattle Slim wrote:

    69 bdsista,

    I don’t like Carol’s Daughter products for my hair. My hair did not like. My kids’ 3a and 3b hair types (I only use that to draw a parallel/example) love her products. Perfect for them. But on MINE? Nope! Suave Naturals Conditioner works wonders.

    When I hear sisters say their hair is “unmanageable” and all of this, I always ask what products are they using. If they aren’t using the right product, I can tell you from experience, your hair will suffer for it and you will too.

    BW need to remember that relaxers are the exception, not the rule. We are not birthed with fluke hair that needs to be saved with relaxers, like, “My Maker made me perfect, except he must have been sleeping on my hair, so relaxers will totally be the rule.” No. That ain’t it. We are born the way we are. Kinky/Curly, whatever. That’s the standard. Anything else is a personal choice, it doesn’t have to be that way.

    I’ve been natural-ish for 2 years, full on natural for a year with stints in between for the last 10 years. I don’t know about my other sisters, but it’s to the point where my brain is beginning to see relaxed hair as “different.” You know, the way it looks when say, a WW or WM wears an afro wig. It looks off-ish. Like it’s not really for them. Basically, everything non-natural is starting to look like a wig to me.

    Am I alone in this? Again, this isn’t to be mean to anyone. I have no problem with anyone’s hair choice, but I just wanted to ask.

  75. WestEndGirl wrote:

    As a mixed Jew (Ashkenazi and Mizrahi) living in the UK, I find the hair classification system absolutely invaluable to help me find suitable hair products. I’m mostly 3a with 3b bits, my sister and mum are a mix of 3c and 4a, my boy cousins especially are full on beautiful 4s.

    I seriously must have spent £000s since my teens buying different curly hair products that are totally unsuitable for my hair. Just in an attempt to make it look closer to ‘normal’ according to UK beauty norms – read straight, fine to medium and blonde, always blonde.

    I have *never* seen my mother without a blow dry straight (or as straight as English hairdressers can get it!). It has been a never-ending hunt in a straight-hair culture to find hairdressers, cuts, tools and products that work for me. Put it this way, I think I must have worn my hair up for say 29 out 30 days in a month just trying to avoid the issue, the non-professional accusations, the poofs, the frizz and etc.

    The fact that I can now go to say naturallycurly.com and compare products, styles and cutting recommendations has actually really helped my self-esteem. Also, the fact that there are more beauty ‘idols’ with a variety of hair styles/textures in the UK has also helped, thank the Lord.

    The sad thing about all this is, and perhaps highlighted by ashlynn’s dismissal/disbelief of Ruchama’s comment about her mother’s 4a hair, is just how *little* women – of all cultures, ethnicities, nationalities, races – actually support and try to understand each other’s hair and hair needs. The demands it places on us, the time it takes, the cultural significance it has. The rituals, the decoration, the pain and the pleasure.

    Instead women are divided and ruled by beauty standards which most of us black, brown, yellow and white cannot live up to. It’s a tyranny and a false competion. I can honestly say that my hair has always been a source of misery for me – either mocked for its wildness and ‘foreignness’ or has been exotified for exactly the same.

    Every model who trangresses the old beauty norms, even if it’s just plain old 3a/b/c makes me a bit more optimistic that one day we will see every type of hair celebrated for its natural beauty and allowed to be treated with kindness and care and not as something to be tamed, hidden or be ashamed about. So maybe curls are the new straight hair, but it is a step. Hopefully the next step will be even bolder.

  76. Adrianna wrote:

    @ n
    It’s quite alright . I’m just tired of the short look after 10 + years with it. I too wanted my BiG fro, but it never came.lol Locks are the right choices for me because they can be low maintenance and I love low maintenance.

  77. ashlynn wrote:

    @Ruchama

    Ok, so that came off wrong. I apologize. When I envision Jewfro, and normally when you see jewfros, the curls are generally a stretch from being what is normally classified as black hair. In terms of hair texture, jewfros tend to be something like 3a-c; I’m classified as 4a, and I personally wouldn’t align that with the hair you’d see in a jewfro, which is why I asked.

    Also, now that I’ve reread the post a bit, I also see how “pix or it didn’t happen” is kind of dumb because obviously your mother happened, hence you- if you took it that way, that is. But thanks for responding. :)

  78. n wrote:

    @Seattle Slim

    “My Maker made me perfect, except he must have been sleeping on my hair, so relaxers will totally be the rule.”

    HAHA. Exactly. That’s my response to the hair and the “you need a tan” statements. “Do you think God didn’t know what he was doing?”

    It PAINS me, PAINS me to see girls with short stubby damaged broken off straightened hair and to believe that they think that is preferable to natural hair. That even extremely damaged, ragged straightened hair looks better than natural hair.

    On relaxers: They make my hair more porous so my hair relaxed looks rougher and coarser than it does unrelaxed.

  79. Adrienne wrote:

    The hair type thing is bullshit. It doesn’t account for different textures in the same head, and does not account for porosity either. My hair is very very soft but kinky and its also very fine and thin but still kinky. It has waves, kinks and spirals all on the same head. It holds alot of water. I can part it and put it into 2 braids easily when it is long and loose. It makes a nice afro, it makes nice braids, it straightens easily on low heat, it is many individual strands of hair on my head that are very very fine and thin.

    By look alone people would classify my hair by a certain type, yet the same products that work for other people’s hair of the same type doesn’t work for me.

    Thus I reject that insinine hair typing thing.

    Black women are really estranged from their own hair. I think thats a bigger issue than how our hair is represented in the media, IMO.

    How your hair is naturally is just what it is.

    Saying that bringing back curly hair in the media is weird considering many women grow it out of their head that way…same as many women grow out kinky hair out of their head.

    We are truly estranged from our hair. All the products purchased to get a certain curl to our natural hair is ridiculous.

    All my years of being natural, I have found peace with whatever my hair does. As long as its clean and moisturized I am happy.

  80. A.D. Nix wrote:

    There was an article in the Style section of yesterday’s NYTimes on the black ladies and their hairs. Mentions the Obamas and uses the phrase “creamy crack.” For better or for worse.

    The multimedia companion piece with 9 women discussing their hair was really something.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/27/fashion/27SKIN.html?ref=style

  81. Michelle wrote:

    I go away for a little while and see what pops up!

    Listen, I know that it is not what people want to hear, but relaxers are really, really bad for human hair, scalp and skin. If a person chooses a relaxer, then fine and dandy. But you can’t compare the health of well taken care of natural hair to the health of well taken care of relaxed hair. There is a world of difference between hair that has integrity and hair that has no little to no integrity. Relaxed hair always balances on a fine line and even the most well taken care of relaxed hair can easily tip over into the danger zone of breakage and damage. It is like a woman who is FLY, got all her stuff together and is living paycheck to paycheck with mountains of debt, versus a woman who is FLY, got all her stuff together, little to no debt and a healthy savings account in case any thing happens. You can’t compare the too.

    But! If you relax your hair because it is a real choice. A REAL CHOICE! Not because you have to do anything (look cute, get a date, be professional), but because, knowing the consequences, you still choose to do it, then more power to you! But I have not met that woman. I have not met the woman who relaxes her hair out of anything other than habit, duty, a need to look beautiful, a need to look fly, a need to please a man, to please their momma/grandmama, or because “their hair just won’t look cute”.

    Re: hair typing

    WARNING: It is NOT for everybody. It can be reminiscent of the whole paper bag test era, however, in the hands of experienced naturalies it can offer some helpful info and a nice short hand to talk to each other when talking on blogs.

    Lastly, I get the pain and frustration. I get it. I have never thought that my hair was anything other than God’s personal vendetta against some crime in a past life. My own mother used to lament “Why does God hate Black women. Even DOGS have better hair than we do”. My mother does not hate herself. But after so many years of being on the other side of the door called beauty, she snapped. She had a moment.

    I wrote a piece about this on my blog where I try to detail those various moments that we all have, including the moment where we “go natural”. It is so fraught with emotion and fear, and it does seem like a passage into an unknown world. And for some of us, there is a moment of dread when we realize that we won’t be looking like Lisa Bonet, but rather more like Tempest Bledsoe. That moment passes too.

  82. c.n.edaw wrote:

    I’m surprised no one –and I am late to the party- who is a hairdresser has chimed in. I know often in hair magazines ( you know the ones we flip through and then say ” I want my hair like that”) the hair on the models ,especially for black women is often weaved OR hair that is shown as being relaxed is often a black woman whose natural hair texture is wavy or curly blown straight/and or flat ironed–hence the great body and why most women don’t get the same texture when they relax.

    I am fortunate that except in one hair horror story I dont have time to share–most of my stylists have been quite honest with me about the limitations and unreal expectations those magazines put on most women, especially black women.

    My mom grew up in the era when almost all black women relaxed their hair no matter what the texture unless it was naturally straight. She and her cousins have this “mixed curly” texture hair naturally but all have at some point in their lives relaxed their hair. I recall as a teenager seeing a black girl with curly hair–my mom either twisted or pressed mine–and asking to style mine that way.

    My mom snorted and said, ” Just go put some water on it!” Up until that point I had no idea I could achieve a curly style since my mom always styled my long thick hair either braided or twisted while wet or pressed.

    And I have always been confused about what the “standard” is for what is considered a certain type of hair. I have the kinkiest hair in my family for instance but people outside family always told me I had “good hair”. I never felt self conscious about my braids perhaps because I had really long hair–middle of the back–and because my roots are extremely wavy and this always seemed to fascinate people–though my hair tends to get rather bushy in humidity.

    The reason I wanted that curly style so bad was because with a relaxer my hair looks fake (to me) on my brown skin. You know that Barbie head someone disparaged earlier? That’s the hair I have with a relaxer and was constantly reminded of it when people were not yanking on it and accusing me of wearing a wig or weave. My brother even used to call me “barbie head”.

    It was annoying and invasive the lengths some people would go to try and “prove” my hair wasn’t real. My hair has to be very dirty, weighed down with hair spray/gel or have several months of new growth for it to look the same texture as most black women’s relaxed hair that I see.

    When my hair is fresh–no one thinks I am black. I HAVE to be some mix. Now let it get dirty, oilier and matted and suddenly I am back black. It’s an interesting phenomenon and I just recently started making the connection.

    Perhaps this is easy for ME to say, but I have just never understood why if wearing your hair any particular way–natural or whatever–damages it, why people will still do that very thing just to fit in .

    My hair is one of my best features, I think so and I’m told that all the time–but when it looked jacked up due to chemicals and bad styling choices I hacked it off and wore a chin length bob and didn’t sweat it. I have just never got hanging on to that 1/8 of an inch of damaged hair just to have length or a style if your hair looks terrible.

    I still relax once or twice a year just because I could never find the right product combo (or patience) to get my curly style the way I wanted it on longer hair, which I prefer on my face. Also my job pretty much demands straight hair a lot, so it was just about convenience.

    This was an interesting piece though in a lot of ways. I have black female friends who haven’t seen their natural hair texture since age 5 and don’t even know whether their hair would be easy or difficult to manage un-relaxed. On the flip side I have “mixed” friends who have the hair texture all the black girls want who get relaxers too. The majority of my white girlfriends have hair either fried from perms OR bleaching it blonde. Even the girls who are stunning brunettes screw up their hair to be blonde.

    We are all hopelessly striving for something other than what we have on some level.

  83. Ruchama wrote:

    Some pictures of white people with 4a hair in this thread: http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/showthread.php?t=62254 (I have one photo of my mother with her hair looking kind of like the woman in post 14. Not quite that long, but close. In the photo, she’s wearing a nightgown and bathrobe, her leg is in a cast, there’s a sick toddler sprawled across her lap, one side of her hair is kind of smushed, and she is absolutely GLARING at whoever was behind the camera and decided this would be a good moment to take a picture.)

  84. Urban Suburbinite wrote:

    I am at a loss with the whole relaxer= more manageable. Everyone I know with a relaxer has get touch ups, deep conditioning treatments (to strengthen their hair since the relaxer basically breaks down the chemical bonds in your hair to get it will lay straight) under the hooded dryer for 30 mins, then rinsed then rolled up, then under the dryer again fro 45 mins, then blow dried or flat ironed. Then every night wrapping and tying up with all kinds of scarves and stocking caps. I remember waking up with marks on my forehead in middle-school from how tight those scarves were. I think it may have actually affected my brain functioning, LOL.

    What’s more manageable than letting your hair “do what it do?” Mine never looks the same two days in a row, but I don’t care as long as I don’t have to sit under a dryer for 45 min to an hour.

  85. n wrote:

    I knew a white boy with kinky hair and he was mocked mercilessly in high school. The 2 white girls I knew in jr high and high school with 3b and 4 a hair respectively mostly dealt with a lot of stares, but Im sure they got a lot of teasing. The stigma of having “black hair” extends to EVERYONE.
    Relaxed hair is easier to care for? I’d say its nothing but WORK.

  86. Nin wrote:

    While I understand the criticisms, I think it’s an important step.

    Back in 2006 the TV show Supernatural aired “Route 666,” an episode about a biracial woman (Megalyn Echikunwoke) investigating the ghostly murder of her black father. The episode wasn’t great, in fact, it had quite a few writing problems and it wasn’t well received by the fans.

    However, ignoring the shaky writing, a lot of comments were made about the biracial girl’s head of long curly hair. The mocking still goes on to this day. I was shocked to see the girl’s appearance taken almost as a personal insult to those fans who couldn’t believe that one of the protagonists would find her attractive, let alone fall in love with her.

    The actress now wears her hair straight, and one of the Supernatural fans that disliked her previous ‘do expressed her surprised at how much prettier she looked with straight hair. *shock* *gasp*

    My point is that I’m all for the entertainment industry allowing other types of hair to be considered attractive and desirable. There’s still a LONG way to go, but being more inclusive is great, and hopefully one glorious day the walls will all come down.

  87. Tammy wrote:

    The beauty hierachy of curls is first and foremost in black women’s heads. If a woman can’t bear the sight of her own 4b/c hair, nothing and nobody can make her feel any more acceptable.

    For me the complaint of the writer’s friend that only mixed raced curlies are acceptable in the media is complete hypocracy.
    What’s it to do with her if the white media start salivating over type 3 hair, when she’s totally rejecting her own type 4 hair. Why should advertisers focus on type 4’s when this hair type in it’s natural state is HARDLY EVER SEEN IN PUBLIC.
    Type 3 hair is noticed and admired in Europe because biracial girls with this hair type haven’t been brought up to loathe their own hair unlike Black Americans.
    Their mostly white mothers were normally simply ignorant about their daughter’s hair and had few value judgments. So these girls were more likely to accept and wear their hair natural and thus attract the attention of other races.
    Type 4’s will gain this type of positive attention when they start loving and wearing their natural hair in larger numbers with more models rocking that look as well.

  88. Jbri wrote:

    OK, I love all these articles about natural hair I have been hooked on this site 4eva!! Ok I need a quick tip I guess, I have been trying almost errthang on my baby girls beautiful mane, all the baby stuff cause she is a baby 2 years old, however she’s got this supa doopa curly hair I just want to detangle without hearing the poor thang say ouch mommy.. She is mixed I am Puerto Rican and her pop is Jamaican and her hair is somewhere in between those lines thin and easy to comb however there is no shine, I would like to know if there is a detangling solution slash shining potion for my baby girl… I sooooooooo want her to stick to natural though cause I so wish I had her hair…… Everyone loves it and they are golden curls ahhhhhhhhhh I love it!! She is the first mixed baby from my moms side and I love it!!

  89. Curlmebella wrote:

    I think that it is time for us to stop comparing ourselves to what society finds attractive. When we do that we never measure up, even white blondes with blue eyes are struggling to keep up with the joneses. I think once we realize and appreciate our beauty on an individual level society wont have any choice but to follow suit. Its not what others say or think its what we think, and it always has been. So many of us feel confined in a box of needing to have straight hair and I say if “Straight Hair” were the answer there would be no racism, we’d all be living happily ever after, something like 97% of AA women relax there hair. We need to find the strength and confidence to break free from the brainwashing and embrace who we are and society will have immense respect for that.

  90. Sandy wrote:

    There are so many jaw dropping moments on this page that I cannot even address them all. I have been on my fair share of hair boards and one that I really and truly loved to visit – I rarely go to anymore. For some reason I just can no longer tolerate the “tone” of the site and I guess I will just leave it at that.

    I have nothing against perms or those who use them. My personal choice was to leave that behind and now I have been without a perm/relaxer for 18 months and completely napptural for a whole year. It was the choice for me. Am I going to slam someone for going another route? No.

    I know that because I have very light skin and light hair (before I started to henna), people automatically assumed I was mixed when I wore my hair relaxed. Even when it wasn’t uber str8, they would still assume that I had “good hair”, and I would always reply, “no I don’t, I just have a good perm”. Once I BC’d I think a lot of people were shocked that: 1) that I would cut off my 12+ inches of (seemingly healthy) relaxed hair, and 2) that my damn hair was kinky-coily! LOL I think they expected to see some huge waves or oversized curls or something. No, I’m just as black as yo’ azz. LOL

    So many things in this article and thread hit home for me and so many things made me cringe in disbelief. The being “too dark for….and too light for…” was the kicker! I just hope that more of us can/will wake up and try to accept what we have and rock it like it’s no tomorrow!