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1. Another Massive Link Roundup « The Feminist Texican on 19 Aug 2009 at 8:52 pm

   [...] Resist Racism on Mistaken Identity If people can make excuses for why you were mistaken for somebody else, they can refuse to see [...]

Comments

1. Sean wrote:

   Mistaken identity indeed. To invoke a ’90’s cliché: I feel your pain.

   I distictly remember one time I was in the restroom at the building where I worked, when a guy walks in, looks at me and asks “Are you the Goodwill guy?” “You’re here to pick up the furniture, right?” Let’s just say I not-so-politely informed him that I worked in the building.

   Generally, I find these incidents far more annoying than anything, but can get potentially dangerous when law enforcement thinks you’re someone else due to your race/ethnicity. Too many close calls there.

   I do remember one time in the bookstore, this attractive young lady came up behind me and started caressing the dreadlocks I wore at the time. She said “Hi baby.” I supposed I looked at her quizically, because she replied “You don’t remember me?” I said “I don’t even know you.” She turned around and stormed off. Incidentally we were the same race… go figure.

   I guess I feel sorry for the actual dude when she runs into him again.

   Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 10:27 am ¶

2. Deaf Indian Muslim Anarchist wrote:

   There’s also a similar post about this on a different blog, called StuffWhitePeopleDo.

   Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 10:51 am ¶

3. ceecee wrote:

   I was attending a conference in a hotel and one of the hotel guests (an older white man) asked me where the pool was located. I told him I was a guest here and did not know, to which he responded that he thought I worked at the hotel. That happened three or four years ago and it has stayed with me. Sometimes I wonder to myself while walking down the hallway at my job if the men I pass think I am an admin assistant/hourly employee or a colleague.

   Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 11:10 am ¶

4. BSK wrote:

   Simple solution: Be less black/Asian/Hispanic/Latino/of color/etc.

   That would solve your problem!

   Or white people could be less racist.

   Unfortunately, the first option is somehow more likely than the second, despite the inherent ridiculousness of it.

   Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 11:29 am ¶

5. Cambrey wrote:

   I went to a show on Broadway with a friend earlier this year. We had really great seats (and were dressed nicely for an evening show) and as we approached them, the white couple in the neighboring seats asked if we were the dancers. I just laughed, said yes, and took my seat right next to them. They looked really confused!

   Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 11:42 am ¶

6. Kevin Myles wrote:

   YESTERDAY as as was leaving my apartment and walking across the parking lot to my car, a white gentleman who was moving into the aprtment building assumed I was with the moving company and asked me if I needed him to open the back door of the building.

   Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 11:46 am ¶

7. Amused0472 wrote:

   I once arrived at a law firm in Alabama for a deposition. The receptionist thought I was “another” witness, although the only witness giving testimony had already arrived. When I told her I was the lawyer taking the deposition, she stared blankly at me like she had never comprehended such a thing as a black female lawyer in her life. I might as well have been from Mars.

   Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 12:46 pm ¶

8. urbia wrote:

   How’s this for mistaken identity?

   I was going about my daily business trying to become a game developer as an Asian female and was tacitly accused of being a spy. I think it led to be being laid off some some stupid reason like I “didn’t fit” (in a company primarily composed of young white males).

   I live in Canada.

   Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 12:49 pm ¶

9. CDF wrote:

   LOL!

   “Are you available for this season’s harvest?”
   “Can you take this luggage to room #123?”
   “A robbery occurred last week and you fit the description…”

   I’m not calling out the R-word, since some folks don’t have the slightest thought…

   Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 1:05 pm ¶

10. Phil Deeze wrote:

    During the Bush (Herbert Walker) administration, Vanessa Williams performed at the White House at a function at the request of the President. Of the United States.

    A few moments later, she was mistaken for a party-server by a guest at the function.

    Asian folks, we feel your pain. And sorry if the black folks you met mistook you for a waiter/deliveryman, etc.

    Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 1:15 pm ¶

11. Elton wrote:

    Yes, it is racist when people make assumptions about you, especially when they’re assumptions of servitude. However, there is a fine line between being indignant on behalf of people who are discriminated against and actually becoming one of those people who looks down on Chinese people who deliver food and such.

    We as minorities need to embrace our roots instead of denying them. Lift up your neighbor instead of saying “there but for the grace of god.”

    Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 2:22 pm ¶

12. grifster wrote:

    I have a slightly different take on this…I’m a black male who delivered Chinese food through college and I think the hardest part for folks was to realize that I was ACTUALLY the delivery guy. Sometimes I’d get folks who’d look around asking themselves where I was (as I stood there with an enormous bag of chinese food). Sometimes folks would realize and end up saying something along the lines of “No way!” or “YOU’RE the delivery guy?!”. I began to WANT to be thought of as “the help” in those situations.

    Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 2:42 pm ¶

13. ashlynn wrote:

    Ah, the good old “I don’t see race” line. I can look back now and find this so hilarious because it really is pretty stupid- unless you are blind! Because our skin color is representative of our race, you will always see race(that is, until the notions and constrictions of the definitions of race are destroyed). When you have people who still assume the Asian man is the delivery guy- and I say Asian because whether you’re Korean, Japanese, Taiwanese- you’re still delivering Chinese-then yes,you do see race. Being “beyond” it in our time is just a tool of denial.

    Now, I don’t really dwell on when White people mistake people’s identities, because knowing their inherent position of power, and acknowledging that many are raised along a racist(conscious or unconscious) line of upbringing, as well as factoring in that immigration and racial limitations regarding education and advancement in society, I expect that to happen.Not accept, but I do expect it. That said, what I often find far more upsetting is when PoC mistake each other for certain positions in society based on race. When the West Indian dude must be driving the dollar cab, when the Puerto Rican woman is there to clean, when the Mexican dude is supposed to be selling oranges on the corner…I guess I would just like to feel a bit comforted that PoC can understand each other better and respect each other as such, but that’s not always the case, and a lot of that has to do with subjects like covering and assimilation, and of course, the stereotypes we project onto each other…

    Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 4:40 pm ¶

14. Wendi Muse wrote:

    lol re: griftster. in brazil, one thing i have noticed is that the waitstaff does not necessarily match the ethnicity of the food being served, whereas in the states, that seems to be somewhat of an understood obligation, even if the restaurant is not owned by people of the same ethnicity that relates to the food.
    –
    also, my exboyfriend who is ABC was mistaken for a delivery man at my old dorm a lot. totally weird/awkward situation every time. he would laugh it off, but i still found the entire situation offensive.

    Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 4:44 pm ¶

15. Amused0472 wrote:

    @Wendi–excuse my ignorance, what is ABC? Based on your Brazil articles, I was thinking A Brazilian Cowboy, but I know that’s not it as fun as the image was in my head. LOL

    Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 5:10 pm ¶

16. alice wrote:

    Reply to Urbia,
    I’m totally not suprised. Canada is a pretty racist place as well, it’s just society won’t own up to that fact.

    Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 5:16 pm ¶

17. Fiqah wrote:

    The next time someone tells you they don’t see race, tell ‘em they should really go and get that checked out. Straight-faced. When their awkward chuckling stops, cheerfully change the subject to something completely unrelated. That’s called a triple script flip, and the judges always give it a “10.” (Of course, doing this won’t solve anything in the long run. But in the short term, you’ll feel much, MUCH better.)

    Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 5:21 pm ¶

18. Juniper d wrote:

    ceecee, I’ve been mistaken for a hotel worker, too! I was having a drink in the lobby bar and some guy asked me where the matches were. When I told him I didn’t know, he said, “You don’t know,” in this totally condescending, how-dare-you-not-serve-me-properly voice. I just stared at him and eventually he said, “Oh, you don’t work here” and went away without even apologizing for being a jerk. I was confused about why he would mistake me for a hotel worker until I realized I was the only brown person around who wasn’t a hotel employee.

    Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 5:35 pm ¶

19. lechatnoir wrote:

    Hum.. The stereotypes vary from country to country it seems.I was not aware of the “spy” thing. I thought it was exclusively aimed at Russians.

    The “nail lady” is the term/slur a fringe of whites both males and females use around here quite a lot. I can still see them grinning through their clenched teeth.

    My boss has a this one customer who refers to Chineses and Vietnameses as ” the little chineses ” . It is the way they use that makes it difficult to confront them. they always opt out of the discussion .

    Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 6:55 pm ¶

20. Urban Suburbinite wrote:

    Speaking of mistaken identity:

    I was requesting college applications, back in the early 90’s (before online applications) when you had to call or write the school of interest, and I called several HBCUs. I’m from suburban Southern New England, and I guess they read my diction as non-black, because 3 of the schools I called made it a point to say “you know this IS a historically Black college.”

    @amused0472
    I had the opposite experience in a Connecticut court. I waited for an hour and a half to be called in front of a judge (to fight a speeding ticket). After I asked about the hold up, the clerk said that they thought that I was a lawyer. Then I noticed that the traffic court was full of people in sweat suits, and flip-flops, and that the guy next to me had a T-shirt on that said “Stop Snitchin Bitches”. He really did wear that to court. Really.

    I do get mistaken for the sales girl at department stores though.

    Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 9:15 pm ¶

21. j chang wrote:

    This has happened to me, although it’s usually as a sales associate at a brick and mortar store (think Best Buy, Ikea, Target, etc). I usually respond with “Why would you think…” Which causes most people to fluster and walk away without responding, although a few people manage to eek out a weak apology before they go. Apparently, it doesn’t matter how I dress either.

    The thing is that many of these stores have uniformed staff who clearly wear store colors and have name tags. In fact, that’s what I use to identify store employees: uniforms! (I do confess that I have mistaken a middle aged white woman to be an associate at Target once, due to the fact that she was wearing a red shirt and picking up an item of clothing from the floor. I was quite embarrassed by the incident and apologized profusely.)

    In one instance, one of these questioners argued with me, insisting that I had to be an employee of the store and threatened to call management. I helped her out by finding an employee and when she saw that the very distinct uniform that he wore, she couldn’t say anything and immediately walked away.

    I do have to say, however, that I’m confused by the nature of the businesses that this happens in because I don’t get the impression that the Asian=retail store associate is a common stereotype. Anyone aware of that one?

    Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 9:33 pm ¶

22. Restructure! wrote:

    There’s also a similar post about this on a different blog, called StuffWhitePeopleDo.

    That’s because Macon D of StuffWhitePeopleDo got the idea of his post from ResistRacism. The StuffWhitePeopleDo post is the derivative, which is why I’m glad that Racialicious excerpted from the original to give resistance some credit.

    Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 9:53 pm ¶

23. Sharese wrote:

    Wow. Thanks to the author for sharing their experience.

    I often get mistaken race identity because of my name. When I show up (not african-american) people are usually surprised. Usually the disclosure comes after knowing the person a while.

    I understand what the author is saying and I agree with it. However, I do not think that mistaken identity is white-specific.

    I absolutely think that “white” is wrongly considered the “norm” and every other ethnic/color group is the “abnormal”. So I am not making an arguement that white people don’t need to take responsiblity for this so called “color-blindness” (when it is actually the denial of difference and stratification) and step up to the plate and realize that there are racial problems in our society.

    I do, however, think that “mistaken identity” happens across all races (example given above by Urban Suburbanite)- as both stereotyper and stereotypee. Sterotypes exist among all cultures/races/etc and many people view these sterotypes as “truth”, especially if they are not ever exposed to people of another culture/race (i.e. the only time you ever see -insert culture/race- is on tv) and unfortunately in our individualistic society that often promotes segregation and putting onself in a (race, gender, class, etc) box and staying there, many Americans, Canadians, Europeans, and others influenced by this culture are not exposed to different views/cultures/people in general.

    So, in closing, we all need to check ourselves and our assumptions.

    This was a very enlightening post, again, thank you for sharing.

    Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 10:00 pm ¶

24. 9jah wrote:

    @ Sharese #23 (and Urban Suburbanite #20 regarding HBCUs) –

    We certainly all do need to check our assumptions.

    However, IMO the issue is not so much that people make assumptions that conform to stereotypes BUT that a special brand of people (typically white folks) make these assumptions in the presence of very strong indicators to the contrary…AND do so regarding oppresive stereotypes that POC have decried from time immemorial…AND often dont feel compelled to apologize for any insensitivity.

    I have name issues as well but this has NEVER offended. However, what is quite offensive is a white female client engaging the fresh-out-of-college white male paralegal about the case for five minutes while I offered interjections hoping to send subtle cues (all the while, the para is shrugging and looking my way – basically, all but telling client she was speaking to the wrong person).

    Posted 18 Aug 2009 at 1:37 am ¶

25. hola wrote:

    Out of all the mistaken identity issues I deal with everyday, the most annoying one is when I am taken for a single mother. This has happened to me for over a decade now (I’m in my mid 20s). I am always asked to “take care of my kids” whenever I am within a 30 ft. radius of any screaming, misbehaving, unattended children. This happens about once a month, pretty much. In the street, in the park, on the subway, in a store, in a restaurant–everywhere really. It never ceases to bother me, It definitely hits all my insecurities. The single mother thing began years before I even lost my virginity. When I was younger I definitely passed judgement on young teenaged single mothers and asked myself, “do I look like a ho”? It made me worry about my appearance–I’d ask myself if I looked fat, if my body looked like it had actually carried a baby to term. A nice woman in the subway made sure to tell me that “Spanish girls” bounce back right away so they can go out whoring again and get knocked up once more…they don’t learn, those girls! Ugh. I recently got taken for the mother of what looked to be an elementary school-aged child. That one made me feel old. I have so many insecurities. Also, can anyone believe that yes, a Hispanic woman living in NYC can reach her 20s without birthing any illegitimate children, for fuck’s sake. No wonder I didn’t start dating until after college, I have so many issues.

    Posted 18 Aug 2009 at 2:04 am ¶

26. gatamala wrote:

    damn, hola

    j chang, my friend and I were mistaken for BedBath & Beyond workers…although we were holding purses and clearly admiring duvets and whatnot.

    my friend turned to me and said aloud, “Do they think that we sleep in bathtubs?”

    The look on that lady’s face was priceless. I bet she never asked for help again.

    Posted 18 Aug 2009 at 9:24 am ¶

27. Joseph wrote:

    This isn’t the sort of racism/ethnocentrism I get regularly, I assume because I have fair skin. I get a delayed reaction to my identity that is also dismaying but isn’t really the same thing: In general I could make my way through a Bed Bath and Beyond unmolested (assuming I ever went into one). But I am wondering about something:

    It occurs to me that there are two moments of confrontation after the original mis-identification. The way the PoC reacts to it (and there have been some funny suggestions so far on this thread) and the way the white person responds when made aware of their mistake. So my question for the folks this regularly happens to is, how do the mistaken white people who interact with you react?

    Do they make you feel responsible for their mistake or do they own up to making it?

    Do they get angry?

    Do they just shrug an walk away, as if it were an understandable mistake?

    Do they ever apologize? (If a white person mis-identified you and then sincerely apologized would that change the experience for you? )

    It seems to me that a lot of White anxiety around PoC revolves around the fear of making such an error. Part of the reason I hated Seinfeld (yeah, I said it) is because they so often played this moment for laughs… to the pleasure of its white audience. We almost never see this experience portrayed from the other direction.

    Posted 18 Aug 2009 at 12:04 pm ¶

28. sandeep wrote:

    the way i see it, there’s a process

    #1 – overcome the shock factor of being mislabeled or perhaps mistaken

    #2 – take stock of the situation… who are these people, what’re they saying, what parts are you not ok with

    #3 – devise a reaction – never take these things lightly, always confront and make sure your concerns are voiced in entirety, if those folks arent willing to listen well they arent worth your time. if it comes down to money or respect… always go with respect. better to live with dignity than with dollars.

    Posted 18 Aug 2009 at 4:02 pm ¶

29. hola wrote:

    From my experience, these episodes of mistaken identity happen with people who don’t know me, usually complete strangers I encounter socially and with whom I am not really expected to interact. For better or worse, I’m not the kind of person to confront anyone with anything, so I’d just smile and say “oh I don’t work here/I don’t have any children/that’s not my stroller” and just walk away. Taking the high road, removing yourself from the situation, and leaving the other person alone with the thoughts is enough to distance myself from any misunderstanding. It’s not my fault or my problem that some random shopper thinks I work at the store or whatever, why should I have to say anything back? I can’t recall anytime anyone ever challenged my attempts at walking away from whatever instance of mistaken identity. I don’t think it’s my role or my responsibility to school anyone on whatever externally created stereotypes they happen to espouse. I don’t usually linger long enough to see their response, to be honest. I honestly believe that if you stay behind and try to convince someone else of the veracity of your own identity you are giving the other person too much power. Despite what Hegelian dynamics might teach us, I really don’t think the truth of my identity is contingent on other people’s recognition. The fact I am 20-something college educated professional with no children does not depend on whether some random dude in the train believes that’s true or not, you know?

    (this got really long!)

    Posted 18 Aug 2009 at 4:15 pm ¶

30. Joseph wrote:

    @hola
    Oh, I completely agree, especially with this, “… I really don’t think the truth of my identity is contingent on other people’s recognition.”
    Cosign.

    So, just to be clear: I wasn’t advocating confrontation … I don’t believe it is your (or anyone’s) responsibility to educate random, misguided strangers. I was just wondering what happens when the white half of this dynamic when they realize that they fucked up.

    But maybe they never do.

    Posted 18 Aug 2009 at 4:59 pm ¶

31. hola wrote:

    And what if the other half of the dynamic is not White, but is, in fact, another POC? This might only reflect the demographics of my neighborhood, but the other half of the dynamic here is if often another POC, for better or worse. Many non-White minorities have internalized lots of traditional racist tropes and have reinforced them with their behavior for years. Does it count as racism when the issues pits POC’s against POC’s?

    Posted 18 Aug 2009 at 7:29 pm ¶

32. ashlynn wrote:

    @hola

    I would say so. Racism is certainly not limited to white people- PoC interactions. As I said in my post, I do find this type of mistaken identity situation the worst b/c I, probably naively so, would like to think that PoC can sympathize with each other, seeing as we find ourselves in positions like that pretty often. But that’s not totally the case. We’re all affected by racial stereotypes, and we all have undertaken them at some point. There’s always the possibility of doing the same harm that’s done onto us by white people, onto other PoC. Still, I’d like to think that we can be more mindful of it yet.

    Personally, I feel that when mistaken identity happens between people of color, on one end of the spectrum it can be attributed to growing up in a first or second generation family- people trying to adjust or fit in to American culture, absorbing POV’s that can be racially insensitive. And on the other end, it’s the opposite- people who have been here for years, also allowing certain stereotypes to influence them. It definitely goes both ways, with a lot of wariness and uncertainly- almost fear- in between.

    Posted 20 Aug 2009 at 1:23 am ¶

33. Linksys wrote:

    from Hong Kong – was invited to a high-society (mostly Chinese) party, where my friend and I were the only Black people there. At the buffet table, helping myself along with the other guests, I was asked by one (Chinese) man if we were “the music people”.

    Posted 21 Aug 2009 at 4:05 am ¶