Chris Brown Apologizes for “The Incident”
by Latoya Peterson
E! news has the video, where Brown directly addresses the camera.
In the video, he mentions he has apologized to Rihanna “countless” times and wishes he could relive the events of the evening. He notes that he is still not permitted to go into what happened, but feels it is more important not to make any excuses. He then said he takes “great pride” in being able to exercise self-control and what he did was inexcusable.
A partial transcript is available on the E! website.
Thoughts?
Carmen Van Kerckhove is co-founder and president of
Medusa wrote:
How can he take great pride in something he doesn’t possess?
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 8:25 am ¶
ceecee wrote:
It was a rehearsed speech and I hope he really does mean what he says and he is in fact seeking help. But for me personally, he’s not completely off the hook. I’m not saying he has to go to jail but I hope that he doesn’t get a pass right away.
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 8:56 am ¶
Marcy Webb wrote:
Chris Brown may have apologized, but, he’s still clueless as to the true nature of what he did.
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 9:01 am ¶
Kepler wrote:
Is it me, or does he avoid saying what he did? Not the specifics (e.g. shoved Rihanna’s head into the dashboard which any competent attorney (and a bunch of not so) would advice you not to go into), but rather that he assaulted her. He keeps vaguely hinting at ‘the incident’ and even mentions he lived in a house where domestic violence was a common feature. But as for stating that he committed violence against his significant other, if one had spent the past few months living under a rock, one would be hard pressed to understand precisely why CB is performing a public mea culpa. It’s almost like he wants to have it both ways: not publicly admit to what he did (specifics) but seek public absolution.
Another odd thing is (as Latoya mentioned in the post) that he seems upset over not remaining in full-control of himself, or exercising “self-control”. The phrase “self-control” is interesting, as it is entirely vague and all encompassing. Haven’t we all failed to exhibit ’self-control’ at every moment in our lives, and thusly, shouldn’t we all be more forgiving and understanding to CB (after all, let he without sin cast the first stone)? But isn’t it disingenuous to compare, say, throwing a tantrum at the supermarket/failing to complete a task/cursing loudly in church with assaulting your SO?
My fear will be that everyone will use this as an excuse to pretend it never happen, to the extent that they will demand Rihanna (and anyone else in a similar situation) forgives and forgets, and takes him back, even if she doesn’t want to (forgive me if I am incorrect, as I am not sure what Rihanna’s stance on ‘the incident’ is, and whether or not she took him back or will even speak to him). After all, hasn’t he shown penitence?
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 9:02 am ¶
gatamala wrote:
He invoked The Holy Trinity: Mama, Minister, & Prayer.
Whatever.
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 9:22 am ¶
NinaG wrote:
He apologized for that ONE incident. Although I don’t know their relationship, I don’t think everything goes from being cool to physically assaulting someone in any relationship. There are always signs. This is about his career. This is for his fans – just like every celebrity, he apologizes for being caught and does so after the trial (so it’s not considered an admission of guilt).
I’ve also realized that I’ve never heard him speak…
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 9:26 am ¶
Deaf Indian Muslim Anarchist! wrote:
hahahahahaha. I don’t buy a word he says. He’s only doing it to save face… lying bastard!
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 10:13 am ¶
Afro-chan wrote:
He says he is receiving counsel from his pastor and mother. No offense to either but maybe they are not equipped to deal with anger management or “self control” issues. If it were that simple his mother would not have been so long with such an abusive man herself. I hope he grasps the enormity of what he did. Sorry doesn’t mean you will be forgiven. I hope he understands you can’t take some things back.
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 11:28 am ¶
A.D. Nix wrote:
@ Marcy Webb & Kepler
Yeah – the “self-control” narrative is incredibly problematic not only because it wraps beating a woman to a pulp in the everyone’s-been-there language of grabbing that extra slice of pizza but because it glosses over the fact that the “self” that is prone to violence is the problem, not the inhibitory forces that failed to be strong enough to “control” it.
@ NinaG
This is also why I’m having a hard time with this apology. I don’t believe for a second that this incident was singular or that Rhianna was the first woman that he’s assaulted. Nonetheless, he is isolating it as a one time “oops.” That’s not the path to rehabilitation.
And the “I have TOLD Rhianna COUNTLESS TIMES and I am telling you today that I am truly, truly sorry” was really creepy. It reminded me of a 5 year old’s “I said I’m sorry!” as in, I said “sorry,” now you have to let it go.
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 11:39 am ¶
Moni wrote:
I just wonder what WOULD be acceptable. It seems people either want to forgive him or don’t. It doesn’t really matter what he says or does now. Folks have already made up their minds.
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 12:26 pm ¶
Kendra Clay wrote:
Wait…Chris caused “The Incident” on the show LOST?
Kidding, but seriously…
Call me a cynic, but his album sales must be hurting badly for him to make this video. Real guys don’t hit women. Douchebag.
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 12:44 pm ¶
ktrujillo wrote:
Hey, he read that from the bottom of his heart, lol.
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 12:53 pm ¶
RJG wrote:
@Kepler’s “Is it me, or does he avoid saying what he did? ”
That’s probably part of his “my lawyer won’t let me say a damn word right now” which translates to “I’m not digging myself a deeper grave in all this.”
That said, my thoughts on the whole thing…
There’s really no *good* way to go “I am sorry I beat my girlfriend up.” If I ever did anything like that, I’d have no idea how to publicly apologize. Was it rehearsed? Of course it was rehearsed. You don’t make a statement like that off the cuff, because it’s safer for someone to go “hey it’s rehearsed” than “hey did you see when he slipped up and said X this clearly will now bury him even more.”
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not defending him at all. He’s still responsible for what he did, and I hope this wasn’t made just to avoid whatever punishment that results in.
But, at the same time, I don’t think there is any “good” way to make a “sorry I beat up my girlfriend, everyone” statement. It’s always going to be apologetic, which we’ll think is false, evoke that said person is getting help, which we’ll write off, and say they acted improperly, which we’ll translate as said person not actually understanding how they acted improperly.
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 1:25 pm ¶
bertie wrote:
I don’t necessarily buy the sincerity but I don’t really see what’s the fuss about the content.
I think self-control is perfect language. If your “self” is prone to violence, then wanting to gain control over this facet of your character seems like the right thing to me. Just as bemoaning the loss of control sounds reasonable.
Unless the “incident” was pre-meditated or he has a history of just randomly chin-checking folks, I don’t see why his assualt on Rhianna can’t be viewed as a loss of self control.
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 1:56 pm ¶
layla wrote:
Try as I might, I can’t hate Chris Brown. I feel sorry for him. I don’t buy his apology at all, as I think it’s just aimed at saving his career. But I am reminded that this young man is a victim of violence, as well as a perpetrator, and he needs help.
I wish he would just admit to himself and the world that he has a problem with violence, and that he needs help. I would be much more inclined to believe his apology if he stated that he was getting professional help to deal with it. I would love to see him take this opportunity to get help, admit his mistakes and what he did, and go and speak to other young men about his actions and experiences, and encourage them to get help as well. Then and only then would I believe that he is sincerely remorseful for what he did, rather than what happened.
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 4:41 pm ¶
Tamara wrote:
“He says he is receiving counsel from his pastor and mother. No offense to either but maybe they are not equipped to deal with anger management or “self control” issues. ”
Yes! I’m gonna need him to get counseling from someone with a LICENSE and expertise in these issues.
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 4:54 pm ¶
bluemorpho wrote:
I think the only “good” way to make that apology is the only way to deliver an apology at all:
“I did ____.
It hurt ___, ___, and ___.
I take responsibility for the pain I caused and acknowledge that nothing can excuse it.
I will never do ____ again.”
Many people might not accept it, but that isn’t the point. Maybe there’s no good way to placate people you offended and harmed so that they buy your records or take you back – but there is a good way to apologize.
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 5:02 pm ¶
Mixxie wrote:
on the radio this morning, one station played the apology to the background of the “you’re a jerk” song.
made my morning.
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 5:58 pm ¶
ashlynn wrote:
Talk about straight from a cue card! I do believe however, that his vague nature of response is due to the legal situation he’s in. I imagine after the case is closed, he’ll be required to do some sort of DV PSA .God, this was horribly rehearsed, though. I’m more interested in a candid interview where he has had minimal preparation save for the legal constrictions that won’t allow him to address certain aspects of the incident. that said, I also believe that instead of diddybopping around the city in her latest “trendsetting” hair and outfits, Rhianna should be trying to do something to raise DV awareness as well.
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 7:05 pm ¶
April wrote:
@RJG:
Thank you. To the rest of y’all, why would you think he could give a non-rehearsed statement, given that he’s still not allowed to reveal certain details about what happened and, from what was said in this video, was urged not to address it all by his lawyer? I’m inclined to agree that nothing he could say would erase people’s conclusions that he’s a monster/not a real man, if they’ve already reached that conclusion. But I’d be interested to hear: since this video seems to be oh-so offensive, what would make it acceptable?
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 8:52 pm ¶
oliemoon wrote:
@ashlynn
that said, I also believe that instead of diddybopping around the city in her latest “trendsetting” hair and outfits, Rhianna should be trying to do something to raise DV awareness as well.
Um, no. Victim blaming, not okay. That you think that the fact that Rhianna was violently assaulted means she now owes something to society is seriously awful. How depressing that you think it’s okay to shame her for not adopting the “victim” role that you have deemed proper for a woman in her circumstances.
Posted 21 Jul 2009 at 11:47 pm ¶
TJ wrote:
I agree with the posters that said the public has already made up their minds about him. Regardless of how he words his apology, how sincere he is, and who he chooses to seek help from, many will still criticize him for some aspect of it. To me, the only person he owes an apology to is Rhianna.
Posted 22 Jul 2009 at 1:52 am ¶
Anita wrote:
I can understand the skepticism of most of these comments but ultimately, I think this is a small step in the right direction, whether we think it is sincere or not. I don’t recall many (celebrity) men openly coming out and saying that they were wrong, accepting responsibility and admitting the need for help. This symbolic apology for committing harm could help to normalize men taking responsibility for their actions and as a society we can start to recognize domestic violence as a systemic patriarchal problem not as a problem of select individuals. Hopefully we can get to a place where we can use restorative justice solutions instead of an institutionally racist ‘justice’ system.
Posted 22 Jul 2009 at 2:55 am ¶
Miztification wrote:
@Moni– I’m thinking the same thing.
I’m conflicted…mainly because there’s too much information that we’re not privy to.
All I’m sure of at this point, is that Chris Brown shouldn’t be given a pass for what he did to Rhianna. I don’t know if anger management classes have been suggested, but that would be a start…
@Oliemoon–I don’t think that Ashlynn was “blaming Rhianna or trying to shame her into playing the victim role”. I think she was basically saying that if Rhianna spoke out about DV, less women would think that it’s ok for their SO’s to be violent with them. Or at least that what I took her post to mean. I’m thinking maybe Rhianna either just wants to move past it, she feels it’s a private thing and doesn’t want to talk any more about it, or maybe it’s just a difficult thing to talk about period. I haven’t been a victim of DV myself, but I’ve seen enough of it first hand to be at least somewhat familiar with all the feelings that go along with it.
Posted 22 Jul 2009 at 7:51 am ¶
[dave] wrote:
@Miztification: Oliemoon’s point, that a victim of a crime does not have then to become a spokesperson for said victims, still stands. Not least that, so soon after it occurred, one could imagine that she is not ready to be constantly reliving a traumatic event in the public sphere. Its not the responsibility of survivors to stop crimes from happening, its the responsibility of communities.
I think its amazing and inspirational when someone is able to take their story public, but I don’t think we can expect it.
Posted 22 Jul 2009 at 10:57 am ¶
Xey wrote:
I don’t know if I can really believe that the apology is from his heart myself. It sounds very rehearsed, and he almost sounds as if he’s trying to force the world to forgive him or make us feel obliged. I do feel sorry for him, but I’m not convinced simply because he invoked his mother and spiritual leader.
I also am having a hard time getting over the strange blouse he’s wearing.
Posted 22 Jul 2009 at 11:12 am ¶
Princezz wrote:
The truth is women all over the world are being abused at this very moment. In my opinion, Chris Brown does not owe the public an apology, but since he decided to discuss the matter publicly, public opinion will vary. Being that I don’t personally know him and don’t know the current condition of his heart or his state of mind, he could actually be remorseful.
At the same time, as a young celebrity, it appears his handlers are managing this as a public relations matter and dictating what he should say and how he should say it. In doing so, it appears to be more about business and less about the importance of professional counseling, intervention, recovery and healing.
Anyone that has experienced and/or witnessed domestic violence and abuse know that it typically begins in phases before a woman is left alone bleeding with injuries that require a hospital emergency room visit.
My hope and prayer is that he doesn’t allow his handlers to mishandle his life to the extent that he assumes his celebrity will allow him to get away with violence toward women.
Posted 22 Jul 2009 at 2:08 pm ¶
Charlotte wrote:
Yes, the speech is rehearsed. Yes, it’s at least in part an attempt to save his career. But… I mean, so? What is he supposed to do after something like this, lie down and die? I can’t fault the guy for trying to pull it together, and getting his career back on track is part of that.
As for the actual violence and people’s unwillingness to forgive him… I don’t know, and I haven’t studied the incident enough to know, but I’m wondering whether the group obsession with him as a woman-beating deadbeat is at least in part linked to his blackness. It’s like he proved everyone right: black people are violent, especially towards women; black families are intrinsically broken; any apology a black man makes for domestic violence is automatically insincere, because black men are naturally given to domestic violence.
I’ve known some guys who have not been great to women. Not a one of them is unapologetic. Most of them do come from backgrounds of domestic violence and all of them are sorry after the fact; acts of domestic violence usually are as a result of self-control, often under the influence of drugs or alcohol. This doesn’t excuse anything that any domestic abuser does, but I think the media and even we are so interested in completely vilifying anyone who could do something like this that we’ve become totally unwilling to believe that Chris Brown could change or be truly sorry. Couldn’t it be a little bit that we’re making Rihanna into a figure of total powerlessness who needs to be protected by the white media, rather than a free agent who is seeking damages in court, as well she should? Couldn’t it be a little bit that we’re making Chris Brown into the terrifying black ape that persists in our minds as the image of black male sexuality?
It’s impossible to tell this far from the people involved whether or not Chris Brown is sorry or not, whether he’s a good guy or not. It’s also not our business. Anything that happens is between him, Rihanna and their attorneys. I think what we should consider is how we’re choosing to look at the issue itself.
Posted 22 Jul 2009 at 3:07 pm ¶
ashlynn wrote:
@oliemoon
Shamed? Not at all. Owes anything? Not at all. When I pressed the post button, the first thing that came to mind was that I meant “could”, not “should”. The lack of an editing option led me to just let it be. But to your response, I would like to point out that:
While you may feel that Rhianna as a victim owes society nothing, why has there been such public outcry for Chris to apologize to the public? After all, he didn’t assault the public, right?
Regardless of whether she is obligated to or no, I do admit I’m a bit stymied as to why Rhianna has seemingly chosen to be absolutely silent on the incident. When you look at it, as well known as she is , her silence DOES send a very strong and potentially dangerous message to a lot of women who admire her in some form that when something as terrible as domestic violence occurs, the best plan of action is to not even mention it, pretend like it never happened. Her lack of response has left the issue of HER well being into a lot of other people’s hands. Though I do tend to find it a bit annoying when celebrities go to the wall for certain causes, surely noone can argue any sort of advocacy if one has experienced their cause firsthand. The lack of at least a personal statement truly concerns me, not only for those who follow her example, but also in that as someone who does deeply sympathize, I would certainly want to know if she is doing okay. And hopping from to and fro saying nothing does not quite illustrate that for me.
Posted 22 Jul 2009 at 8:28 pm ¶
ashlynn wrote:
And to add on my last comment, raising public awareness wouldn’t even require her to relive that nights events on a public platform. something as simple as visits to DV shelters, or volunteering time or funds to strong active organizations is actually better than taking your story to the media to be scrutinized. Not to mention that volunteer work would not only be helpful to the community that needs to seriously combat the DV issues in society, but even more helpful to herself. Living it alone can be the worst way to cope…knowing that there are other who are strong and survive and thrive is a MASSIVE step toward recovery. Knowing may only be half the battle, but it’s still half the battle.
Posted 22 Jul 2009 at 8:40 pm ¶
Lisa wrote:
Ahslynn, maybe she isn’t ready yet to come out being an advocate for anyone. Going through such a huge experience, and so publicly, must be an enormous trauma. In fact, I feel the same way about Brown’s apology – he probably isn’t ready to say anything meaningful yet either, but the publicity machine demands a mea culpa, so he has to go through the motions and say something “to save his career” when he hasn’t even had time to process what really happened, and the implications this has for the rest of his life. I read somewhere that he’s talking about wanting to be a role model, which is clearly ridiculous. This guy stills needs to HAVE a role model, he’s probably a couple of years at least away from being one.
I think the fact that Rhianna isn’t seeing him anymore speaks loudest about how she sees the issue, and her public silence and desicion to just get on with her career is dignified, and I wish her all the best in her healing.
Love the blog, by the way!
Posted 23 Jul 2009 at 12:50 am ¶
IC wrote:
I agree with what many people are saying here: the apology is definitely part of damage control. I wanna say that SOME part of it is heartfelt; I definitely think that the man feels remorse over what he did to Rihanna. Then again there was that recent video (about a month or so ago, BEFORE this one) where he’s grinning and smirking at the camera (with Omarion bopping around in the background), talking about his upcoming album and then saying, flippantly, almost as an afterthought, “Yeah. And I’m not a monster.” If he were really sincere about making amends, maybe saying something in THAT video, instead of in this pre-written, carefully orchestrated by management apology, would have been the way to go.
@A.D. Nix
I feel you on the problematics of the “self-control” terminology And it bothers me too; I think because domestic violence is systematic and, most importantly, it is a cycle. This wasn’t the first time he beat Rihanna (friends reported seeing bruises on her way back in December), and I’m sure it wasn’t the first time he beat a SO. That’s not the way DV works, and it troubles me that everyone is treating this case as an isolated event. He’s apologizing for beating Rihanna *that one time,* not for the months of abuse, physical and otherwise, that I’m sure lead up to it.
And I’m not saying that CB should sit there and recount every little thing that happened between him and Rihanna and whomever else. But the way that people/media have been talking about it – as if it’s a simple matter of someone making A (as in ONE) mistake – obscures the way that domestic violence actually works. And that’s what really bothers me.
Posted 23 Jul 2009 at 10:15 am ¶
allheavens wrote:
Sorry, whether the apology was rehearsed or not I am not going the throw him under the bus. Basically Brown is in a “damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t” situation.
He did something contemptible but he has another 65 years to live, so exactly what is he going to do? Whether a world famous entertainer or just some ordinary guy working a regular job it is human instinct to try and save ones self.
Is he not a candidate for rehabilitation, redemption and forgiveness ? Or as a society do we find only certain crimes or certain people worthy of that Holy Trinity? Does he even need society’s forgiveness or just his victim’s forgiveness?
I think he needs to seek long-term professional counseling especially since is he also a victim of domestic violence. I hope his pastor has a MA or PhD in psychology and has counseled domestic abusers. As for his mother counseling him, ummm I just don’t think that is the best idea.
I have seen far too many young Black men cast as the savage “other” beyond salvation or even the consideration of salvation. Society tosses them aside like so much garbage and I am not about to do the same.
It may not be the conventional wisdom or the popular opinion but that’s how I feel.
Posted 26 Jul 2009 at 3:56 pm ¶
CM wrote:
IC wrote ‘as if it’s a simple matter of someone making A (as in ONE) mistake – obscures the way that domestic violence actually works. And that’s what really bothers me.’
Thank you, that’s also been bothering me, the willingness to wtite this off as some casual mishap, like it doesn’t have a history of signs and symptoms and then follows a pattern that is hard to break.I recognise some people just have that kind of rage within them, where they may end up killing themselves or someone they love, you have to find ways of controlling it because you’re going to have that with you for the rest of your life. I further agree with all whom have said seeking professional help would be a better form of making amends, deep character changing amends would be better suffiecnt proof I feel.
I also grew up with DV and I do feel that it either gives you this scent to attract certain people, or in my case this feeling of being afarid of your own self and what your capable of.
My own father despite ^rehab’ for his DV still blamed his victim for making him beat her, 20 yrs later and he still does that and he considers himself a changed man. Point is, rehabilitating and chaging this kinda behaviour takes a lifetime of work.
As a young man, I wish him the best in trying to overcome this, but what he has done to that woman, is unforgivable in many people’s eyes.
Posted 28 Jul 2009 at 12:28 pm ¶
mediater wrote:
ok please understand I do not in any way condone his behavior in fact I wasn’t even going to offer an opinion because I am torn over the issue but some posts have driven me to voice my opinion.1.of course hrs apology is rehearsed he is a celebrity and what he publicly says is important to his career.it does however drain tho sincerity of the apology but nonetheless who are we to judge his sincerity we were not the victims of his rage.2.for those of you who have the idea that this is not the first time please consider that we have no knowledge of what occurs in their relationship.also remember that he is only 20 so it is odd to think he has always been abusive.you say dv has signS and doesn’t occur in single events well how are you so sure that this wasn’t the time he flipped and actually physically abused her this could very well have been the first time and every case has a start maybe this was his first no one seems to be realizing that.im not sayin this is the first but everything should be considered because we don’t actually know.3.i agree that by rhianna keeping quiet she is delivering a message to other battered women can about speaking out I also agree that maybe she needs time that is a very traumatic thing to go through especially publicly.4.we don’t know what happened in that car.im not at all saying she deserved what she got but we don’t know what she did to provoke this loSs of control so although she is a victim we cannot judge whether or not she is totally innocent.yeS chris deserves to be on the list with the Ikes and bobbys but he also deserves anotheR chance!
Posted 05 Aug 2009 at 9:09 am ¶
Harlow wrote:
@ 35
WTF? That’s victim blaming. No matter what someone dose, you do not respond with assault. Just no.
And violence doesn’t come out of nowhere. It doesn’t. And it isn’t rage that’s the issue, it’s power. he didn’t do it out of anger, he did it to control her and the situation.
Posted 24 Sep 2009 at 6:18 pm ¶