“I’m Not Racist…My Child Is Not White!” and Other Lessons from Charm School
by Latoya Peterson
Oh, readers.
Once again, my love of trashy TV has come back around to bite me in the ass.
Somehow, someway, I was skimming channels while folding laundry and accidentally got addicted to Rock of Love Bus, the third installment in Bret Michael’s increasingly hopeless dating life and some of the most ridiculous shenanigans I’ve ever seen aired. (Well, outside of Flavor of Love). Everything was over-the-top, including Bret’s fabulous hair extensions.
Here’s a fairly typical scene from Rock of Love Bus, involving all the necessary ingredients for a brawl – women with short tempers, alcohol, too much free time, and some argument that was too stupid to even attempt to summarize:
So it should go without saying that much of this cast ended up on VH1’s reform show, Charm School. Since Ashley was on it, I intended to watch the show. Just…later. When laundry piled up again. But lo and behold, that was not in the cards. By episode three, there was already mad race drama.
On Charm School, the aim of the show is to teach these wayward young people manners…or something. In reality, CS is more like a boarding school with the inmates/social terrorists running the asylum. Generally, the winner is the woman who can survive the Lord of the Flies style conditions without completely revealing her true colors.
It is worth mentioning that normally, Charm School runs show by show. So the first run was Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School, which was hosted by Mo’Nique. The second run was Rock of Love: Charm School, refereed by Sharon Osbourne.
This time, the predominantly black cast of Real Chance of Love (a show hovering close to the D-list being the spin-off of a spin-off) was matched with the predominantly white cast of Rock of Love Bus.
Ricki Lake was not ready.
The tensions started off quick with both teams sharing their distrust of each other:
After a few more altercations (including one where girls from the Rock of Love Bus locked Brittany Star in the bathroom and stuffed hot dogs under the door) the elimination ceremony takes place. The house was basically divided by show, and when one of the Real Chance of Love girls, Kiki, is sent home, all hell breaks loose and two other girls end up leaving the show out of frustration.
In the aftermath of this, Ricki Lake decides to ask a very pointed question: Did the contestants in the house think that Ashley was spared and Kiki was sent home because Ashley was white? Beybeybey and the other Real Chance of Love Girls answered in the affirmative. And here’s where things started to get interesting.
Racial issues come up every now and again on these shows. On Rock of Love Bus, Brittaney Star got upset at Natasha winning a challenge, and pissily informed her that she only won the pass because she was black, insinuating that Bret Michaels was granting some kind of drunken affirmative action. Natasha banged back getting in Brittaney’s face about making idiotic comments like that – keep in mind, there’s generally only one black girl who makes the cut on RoL…and she is quickly eliminated. Brittaney then claims she couldn’t be racist because she has a black grandfather! (Later on, the VH1 blog finds out that she actually does have a black grandfather. He was in a band called the Ink Spots. No, you can’t make that shit up.)
Brittaney Star has race issues anyway:
For someone who claims to be “colorblind” she sure brings up race a lot…
But, getting back to the topic at hand, this episode fascinated me for three reasons:
1. Use of the term ghetto
“It’s like I got dropped off in the ghetto, for no fucking reason.” Farrah is freaking out and using the word ghetto left and right. She leaves, but the Real Chance at Love Girls are still angry and bring it up in Ricki’s assembly. BeyBeyBey asks why she has to be termed ghetto, just because she’s black and she’s passionate about what she says. She also notes that she could have easily called Ashley and Farrah ghetto because of their professions (stripping) and the way they act, but notes she didn’t. The use of the term is not addressed further.
In a post-show interview with VH1’s blog, Farrah makes the claim that the term ghetto is not racialized.
Let’s talk about your classification of some of the girls as “ghetto,” since some people read that as racist.First of all, I want to apologize to anyone who took offense to that word. Obviously, their definition and my definition are different. My definition is loud, obnoxious and inconsiderate. It has nothing to do with color. Ghetto is not a color. I know white people that are ghetto, I know black people that are ghetto. It’s not a race thing for me. The people I referred to as “ghetto bitches” on the show weren’t just the black girls. It was Brittaney Starr and K.O, also. Plus, I’ve been ghetto more than a few times. I’m that way when I’m wasted a whole lot.
What did you think of Bay Bay Bay calling Ashley and strippers ghetto?
I think that was uncalled for. She was so upset over the use of that word and then she turned around and used it. The whole time, we were called “white stripper whores.” [...] Look, me and Ashley get called a lot of names because of our provocative dressing, but we don’t get offended because we choose to dress that way. People shouldn’t get offended when they’re called “ghetto” because they’re choosing to act that way.
I think some of the confusion arose because a lot of people, especially white people, swap in the word “ghetto” when what they really want to say is “black.”
I understand that, I understand why people think it’s a racial thing. But that’s definitely not how I intended it. And then it’s like, why say, “Kiss my black ass?” Why call us “white girls?” Why call Ashley and me whores and sluts just based on how we’re dressed? It works both ways.
Is ghetto really just a state of mind or a way of acting? Postbourgie disagrees, noting that calling someone ghetto is used to reinforce stereotypes and power structures while distancing the speaker from the black underclass. Interestingly enough, the word ghetto didn’t pop up on Rock of Love Bus too often, but “bitch” and “trashy” did. Take from that what you will.
2. Ashley’s “I Can’t Be Racist” Comment
Ah, an old favorite. After the Real Chance at Love girls finish speaking, Ashley walks up to the chair and proceeds to inform everyone that she could not possibly be racist. Her rationale? Her child is not white. The clip isn’t no longer available, but Ashley starts explaining that because her son is “not white” (though she later amends it to say that he’s obviously half white) she’s obviously not a racist.
Ashley’s live-in boyfriend/baby daddy can be seen here:
Mixed Media Watch used to make a sport out of tracking these claims. The all-time hall of fame post is “I can’t be racist, I have interracial sex!” where Carmen writes:
One of the big myths out there is the idea that interracial relationships are inherently good for ending racism. We’ve all heard the utopian notions that “we should keep mixing and soon we’ll all be mixed and there will be no more racism!”
The problem with this idea is that it assumes interracial couples and mixed race people themselves cannot be racist. And of course, we all know that’s not true. Check out former Nebraska Senator John DeCamp’s description of his Vietnamese wife as a “war trophy” for just one example.
As I wrote in a post last year, just because you sleep with/live with/marry/date someone of another race doesn’t make you automatically not racist. After all, slave masters had no problem maintaining their racist beliefs against blacks while raping their slaves and fathering mixed children with them. Neither did Strom Thurmond. And all you have to do is read Susan Crain Bakos’s article to see that sex doesn’t cancel out racism. If anything, sex and intimacy have always been intricately intertwined with oppression.
3. Ricki Lake’s handling of the situation
Another thing that stood out to me was how Ricki Lake approached the issue. While other outlets lauded her for supposedly tackling racism head on, I’m not sure that’s what happened. While race took the forefront in the discussion, the conflict was really about the different cultural norms for each show. On RoLB, violence was discouraged, but it was not necessarily going to get you sent home. As we saw above, Marcia choked out Ashley and stayed on for a few more episodes. Brittanya swung on people. And there were a lot more projectiles going around. They just like to be violent. And the RCoL contestants we used to swarm tactics, which the RoLB girls also didn’t understand.
Ricki interpreted the divide as racial, which could be argued, but then went straight into defensive mode: “I want you to know that the decision didn’t happen that way.” Yes, she allowed the contestants to say their piece…but there really wasn’t a dialogue about race. And why should there have been? That wasn’t the goal. The goal was to squelch the issue so that the show would move on. This wasn’t a conversation about race – it was an old school HR trick. Sometimes, when people have a discussion about race, it’s really about exonerating the accused, not moving things forward. Carmen nails it in one of her articles about the differences between conversations:
In the last few days, I’ve written critically on Twitter (you can follow me @newdemographic) about a couple of items: a Washington Post op-ed on diversity and a new documentary on multiracial identity.
Among the many responses I received to each tweet, there were a handful that said something along the lines of, “Even if it’s not a good article/film, at least it’s creating dialogue!”
Well, sometimes “creating dialogue” is just not good enough.
You might be surprised to hear me say that, since my whole mission is to facilitate relaxed, authentic, and productive conversations about race.
But I’ve seen too many instances of people tolerating, or even justifying, ignorant behavior because of its ability to “create dialogue.”
You know what? I could do without the dialogue if it means not being subjected to the ignorance in the first place.
Why? Because not all dialogue is created equal.
To apply this idea to Charm School, no, Ricki Lake did not bring up the race issue to have a dialogue. She wanted to directly get on with running the show, without more women leaving. That’s not laudable – that’s common sense.
In sum, the race issue really wasn’t that big a deal. Despite So Hood dramatically titling herself “the modern Martin Luther King” while she walked off the set, the girls moved on to fighting about other things in the next episode. But, hey, that’s the way of the reality TV world. If Marcia can choke Ashley on one show and then be BFFs on the next, somehow, I think they’ll work around the race thing just fine.
Carmen Van Kerckhove is co-founder and president of
Jeremy wrote:
I would add 4) The institutionalization of race and racial differences.
The Root ran a gawd-awful piece on this topic a week or so ago (If the author of that piece reads this, please don’t be mad – you just took this show a little too seriously!), and seemed to completely ignore that fact that the different sets of girls came from two different shows – thus the racialized cliques were, in part, a symptom of institutionally based segregation.
And, of course, a little bit of racial preferences to boot (Real Chance of Love was to win the “hearts” of black brothers, whereas Rock of Love was for a white dude that wears eyeliner). Natasha is kind of a weird racial middlewoman as she sifts from one group to the next. You will notice she has a pretty tight friendship with Brittanya for a while, but if you watch the show closely, she tends to hang out with the black girls much more. Oh, and shes also done interracial porn. I wonder where “Milf” from Real Chance of Love would have fit in? (Man, this show is classy, btw).
So, part of the clique formation was race based – but it was aided and abetted by the racialized structure of the ” X of Love” franchise. I think this is key.
Oh and the “MLK” martyrdom speech by “So Hood”….smh.
Posted 04 Jun 2009 at 1:52 pm ¶
boogiedownBebe wrote:
I hate all these “Real Love of Crap” show, but I am addicted to this Charm School season. Let me preface my comment by saying with the exception of K.O., I think they are all deplorable human beings. However, they are human beings and are entitled to their flaws. This show is not doing them any justice because these women are damaged. They are seeking out fame and fortune while their lives and self-esteem are in ruins. They are not in any position to take seriously any of the criticism or “enlightenment” being forced on them. They are always defending what they say and do instead of trying to understand why it’s wrong. Half of them are tanked ALL THE TIME, they are in no position to have an open dialogue about race and race relations. None of them are going to change. It’s going to be exactly as you say, try to hide your true colors for as long as possible and when you get kicked off, proudly proclaim to the cameras that you’re going to go back to living exactly how you were prior to taping. Case in point, the Farrah quote above.
Posted 04 Jun 2009 at 2:06 pm ¶
bianca wrote:
I’ve been thinking about several of the same points you bring up after watching the show as well. I am especially contemplating why all of the Latinas were silent about the topic of race, I can’t recall if La La even said anything of value during that time?!
Posted 04 Jun 2009 at 2:08 pm ¶
Thom wrote:
“Brittanya swung on people. ”
And spit. Brett kept her on as long as he could. I guess that is the benefit of being “exotically hot” in reality television. I notice in Charm School she appears to be keeping a very low profile. Nothing like fear of jail to motivate a person to change their ways.
But yeah…I got the impression that they were definitely just trying to get a race discussion out of the way and move on.
As far as ghetto being a generic term? I call BS. Yeah, it refers to a specific type of behaviour and attitude…but lets face it, people use it as code for a certain type of behaviour and attitude of “some black people”. Farrah *never* would have used the word if she was talking about some white girls.
Posted 04 Jun 2009 at 3:16 pm ¶
kahlilg wrote:
Thank you so much for this post! I’ve been waiting for it.
I did watch the first season of Charm School. At the end of the season I felt like that was just a big joke and MoNique didn’t see she was exploiting these women as much as Flavor Flav was. I remember a lot of people thought FoL was sexist and racist cause the girls were black. Then RoL came out and I saw a lot less people claiming the show was racist. However, what I heard Farrah say was no different then what I heard some people say about FoL. Those girls were ghetto because of the way they acted, not because of their race. Which seems to me that black people are ghetto until proven otherwise.
I also wanted to say I liked Rikki Lakes take on the race issue, that is until I read this. I thought she was trying to get a get down to the problem and really address it. But after reading this review, I can see your point. I also feel like Rikki Lake was going back to her talk show roots and I guess that’s why I trusted her.
To be honest though, the producers of this show new the girls would split up. They’re trying to hide behind the fact that this is the first time they put 2 shows in 1 and use the excuse that they split up because they want to be with people they did a show with last time. I also think that was there point: to show racial unity? I don’t even know…
Posted 04 Jun 2009 at 4:44 pm ¶
Fiqah wrote:
::: reviews clips :::
::: winces :::
Do people REALLY want to help these women? I mean, really?
Because AA is free.
Posted 04 Jun 2009 at 5:24 pm ¶
greg wrote:
oh no, her grandfather CAN’T be from the Ink Spots! That great man must be rolling in his grave, the Ink Spots are some seriously good music
Posted 04 Jun 2009 at 5:34 pm ¶
Squidfly wrote:
We live in illusion and the appearance of things. There is a reality. We are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. That is all. ~
Kalu Rinpoche
Posted 04 Jun 2009 at 6:01 pm ¶
Sami wrote:
I read this in a tab I’d opened before getting on a bus, so haven’t watched the videos yet: I’m just chiming in on the WHAT, because the Ink Spots are good music. What I, with my minimal education in music, would call “mellow jazz-ish”. They worked with Ella Fitzgerald, too – they were a Real Band.
Oh, how class apparently does not descend through generations.
Posted 05 Jun 2009 at 2:55 am ¶
elle the elephant wrote:
co-sign boogiedownBebe:
Looking at this clips,these girls need some serious clinical help,all sorts of daddy-abandonment issues going. Its sad that they don’t realize that they are being exploited by VH1,after all,it has Rikki Lake,but then again, its not surprising that they are willing to exploit themselves so easily. In modern American pop culture, exploiting yourself and pimping yourself on tv is essential,having values and independent thought discouraged.
On the idea that interracial sex equals equality and acceptance, I totally agree. Just because your willing to bonk someone of a different race doesn’t equal respect for the race,(in some cases, it can mean the opposite) case in point: all those porn sites with Asian females that use disgusting orientalist language, and interracial dating sites were people can search for people of different race based on stereotypes.
If your not racist, it will show in your attitudes towards non-whites,you wouldn’t need to say “I’m not racist because of something something”
Posted 05 Jun 2009 at 7:21 am ¶
Robyn wrote:
Is it wrong that I actually love The Ink Spots? “I Don’t Want to Set The World On Fire” is one of my all time favorites. Poor Grandpa Starr.
If you ask me, the reason Kiki got sent home is because randomly screaming at Bubbles did not make for a plotline that could go on for more than a couple episodes. If there is one thing I’ve learned from watching these shows, is that you only last as far as your plotline can carry you.
Posted 05 Jun 2009 at 8:47 am ¶
sarah pappalardo wrote:
Great blog – but one little thing….
When you say that “creating dialogue” isn’t always a good thing, that it can be essentially dangerous and nonproductive in the hands of ignorant people.
I’ll point out the obvious and say that that is a tinge elitist. If only educated, intelligent women’s studies-trained people can discuss race critically, then who exactly are we helping?
I think there is some benefit to a simpler, low-level dialogue, although it can be dangerous (in the case of “i bang black men ergo i am not racist)….
can’t enlighten everyone…
Posted 05 Jun 2009 at 9:46 am ¶
Latoya Peterson wrote:
@sarah pappalardo –
Re-read what Carmen wrote. She didn’t say anything about “unqualified people” talking about race. She says that just “Creating dialogue” isn’t good enough, especially if that dialogue isn’t leading anywhere productive.
I’m not sure how you are defining educated and women’s studies trained. Carmen, the author of the post I quoted was a marketing major. And I am a college drop out who focused on business. I’ve never taken a women’s studies course.
There is a big difference between saying “certain people can’t talk about race” and “rehashing the same boring ass topics isn’t helpful.”
Posted 05 Jun 2009 at 9:51 am ¶
CDF wrote:
I’ve tried watching these types of shows and just can’t get through any of them. My IQ/sexual drive drops several points looking at the faux-beauty shown by these lovely ladies. When I saw Ricki Lake as the moderator, I knew where the show was going…and this faux- racism angle is bunk!
Posted 05 Jun 2009 at 4:17 pm ¶
pinksghetti wrote:
I just have to say I saw the episode of ROL where Brittney said her granddad was black, I believed her and think it’s cool that she said that because she looks like a straight up Anglo-Saxon blonde woman and that makes things interesting because were so used to people like Halle Berry or other mixed race people who look black with White parentage but here Brittney is the opposite (which is rarely discussed/seen in the US). And for all intensive purpsoses a woman who meets America’s ideal beauty (blonde hair) and she has an Black grandfather. She’s kind of like the people who would “pass” back in the day. This is an good disscussion in it self.
Posted 05 Jun 2009 at 11:54 pm ¶
Eric Daniels wrote:
Am I still banned La Toya from this site?
Posted 12 Jun 2009 at 7:57 pm ¶
Alexandria wrote:
One of my friends went to try out for the “Rock and Love Bus” show and when she realized it was scripted and the whole show is fake she took the other option and said “No thanks”.
They wanted her to play a fake lesbian and she felt that it would be offensive to women who are really gay and also it was a waste of time since it was all scripted and you didn’t really get to see Bret for most of the show.
So these women are really just playing “parts”.
Some of them are very close to those “parts” if I may say, because honestly, what kind of person would want everyone and their mama to see them on national television wasted and making an ass of themselves for money?
Posted 15 Jun 2009 at 2:30 am ¶
taliba wrote:
I thought Riki skirted around the issue as well. I also couldn’t believe that at least BayBayBay didn’t stop Ashley in her tracks with the “I can’t be a racist because my child is half crap”. I’ve seen more racists with mixed children who try to downplay their children’s African American heritage.. The children end up messed up, and look crazy too, because their mothers never even take the time to learn to do something as simple as their hair. Ricki put KiKi out because of the age old phhilospphy that White people can get angry and act a fool; but, my Lord don’t dare let a Black person get angry that is far too threatening. Just talking about your anger will make the white folks shut you down. Meanwhile the others can hit, spit, and lock each other up in bathrooms; because of course they can control themselves.
Posted 24 Jun 2009 at 3:13 pm ¶
Tanya wrote:
I would like to point out that Brittany Star’s Grandmother married a black man after having her children. Brittany Star does not have black heritage.
Posted 26 Jun 2009 at 3:17 pm ¶