Nick Cannon Quoted: A Celebrity Battle Worth Watching?

by Special Correspondent Thea Lim

Ok full disclosure: I’m a rabid Mariah Carey fan. Don’t hate.

We’re a little late on this breaking news from early May, when reports started to arise that Mr Mariah (also known as Nick Cannon) had posted a viciously worded blog entry about “Bagpipes from Baghdad”, the leaked track from Eminem’s new album that is ALL about Mariah Carey. (Srsly, it is a song totally dedicated to Mariah Carey. When I first heard the reports I assumed Eminem dropped her name once or twice. Instead it is a fairly incoherent rant denigrating all things Mariah. You can read the lyrics here. Prepare to be disgusted and baffled.)

What surprised me about Cannon’s post is where he decided to take this feud. I grabbed the excerpts below from EW.com, Black Voices, ShowStalker and Rap-Up. Cannon’s post – for better or worse – has since been removed. If anyone has a link to a cached version, lemme know…

I realized, that this so-called man has just disrespected and slanderized one of the world’s most significantly influential artists, one of the most notable BLACK females of our time, the incredibly cherished, globally loved and world-embraced woman of color, Mariah Carey…You sold your little records and made a little bit of change but now you are stepping in the wrong territory. You may have been able to rape and pillage our artform like an old school Caucasian con man and nobody said anything because we respected your talent, but now you’ve made the ultimate mistake

Maybe I’m going too far, but I thought we moved beyond the days where white men could spew vulgar obscenities at our beautiful queens and get away with it. What’s next? Are we going to let this trash say something horrible about our lovely first lady, Mrs. Michelle Obama? Or would Marshall have talked sideways out of his neck like this about Oprah Winfrey? This act of racist bigotry cannot go unnoticed. Calling my wife a “c-word” and a “whore” is way worse than anything Don Imus could have ever said. So trust, repercussions will be served.

I’m taking full action on you Eminem. I don’t know why no one has stood up to your bitch ass yet. But I guess it’s going to take a corny, wack rapping, boy toy from Nickelodeon to set you straight. And trust, I am going to be relentless. Even though I got a lot of other obligations and occupations, you are my new full time job “homey”! As a matter of fact I think you going to bring my wack rhymes out of retirement! That’s right haters; you can thank Eminem because I’m going to start rapping again!

I’m putting this out there now. Marshall Mathers, you need to holler at me on some grown man [s***]. Man to man, let’s meet up and deal with this like adults,” he wrote.

Considering how much of Eminem’s new album – and remixes – seems to be a cheap (and hey, desperate) attempt to bait Black America, could it be that the boy toy from Nickelodeon got it right? Or is Cannon being just as cheap, making this about race when it’s simply about grudges & personal relationships, and maybe a smidge of male posturing? I’m a lousy judge: I’m too blinded by my Mariah love and enduring desire to convince everyone that she really should be mascot for radical mixed race women of colour everywhere. Your thoughts?

PS A few days ago Eminem stated that Cannon “misinterpreted” the song and Eminem’s intention for the record was to merely express goodwill toward the Carey-Cannons. Mmmhmm.

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Photo credit: Rap-Up