Hosted by Special Correspondent Arturo R. García
One episode left in Heroes’ season, and the major players are coming together again in order to … uh, save the country from themselves. Or something. We’ve got villains riffing on the Obama campaign, a family pledging to work together for about two minutes, and one brave Roundtable willing to make sense of it all for you. So here we go!
Forget saving the country; with Tim Kring writing the closer, can the Heroes even salvage their season?
Mahsino: No. It’s like we aren’t jumpin’ sharks anymore, we’re jumping humpback whales. This show half-past ridiculous, how many times can we say “this changes everything” in one episode?
Jen*: I don’t see Kring saving anything. An hour’s not long enough, anyway. Something Arturo said was on my mind as well though – every series doesn’t have 10 sucky ep’s to have 2 good ones – why is Heroes like this?
Andrea: Ever since Kring went on his blame-the-fans campaign, I felt he lost interest in saving this show, and this season was another example of his neglect. I’m surprised NBC let him get away with this, considering how rough network TV’s having it these days.
Diana: There’s nothing to save. They didn’t even keep with the theme of this chapter. It’s just been a hodge-podge of crap all season.
Erica: The only possible salvation is that overused classic — it turns out it was all a dream and we can ignore it all!
Let’s talk terminal! Who do you see getting offed and why?
Mahsino: Nate’s getting offed. This show isn’t big enough for both Nathan and Sylar’s eyebrows.
Jen*: If wishes came true. I’ll take the obvious choice: Danko.
Mahsino: Somehow I manage to forget about his presence as soon as he’s not in the shot. I second that recommendation.
Diana: I’m with Jen on this one. Once Sylar pulled that knife out of his head, my thought was, “Danko the troll is gonna get it now.”
Erica: Yeah, Danko goes bye-bye. Sadly, much as I wish Nathan would finally give up the ghost, he’ll be sticking around to give Peter somebody to whine at.
Andrea: What? As much as we carry on about her, no one wants Claire offed? Or better yet, the show’s wigmaker? (The former ’cause she has to be about the most useless main character, and the latter…well, look at what zie’s been putting on the former’s head.)
Mahsino: Much as I might wish it to be so, I just don’t see her biting the bullet- that would just make too much sense.
Was anybody else half-wishing Hiro and Ando would ask Matt, “Hey, aren’t you gonna tell your wife about Daphne?” Or am I just mean?
Mahsino: Janice looks an awful lot like Daphne when you look at their faces. And my, my, Matt forgot about Daphne real quick.
Jen*: I was just thinking that he had an awfully short memory to forget Daphne so quickly. Especially with all the cheese of a mock trip to Paris in his arms – how many eps ago?
Diana: You’re right, Matt really isn’t acting like a man who lost the love of his life and that makes him really flaky. To be fair, in this episode, he didn’t have time to have a heart to heart with Janice. And honestly, would we care at this point?
Erica: Care? No. Matt’s certainly not the man he was a few seasons ago (hell, he’s even forgotten about Tortoise; WHO IS FEEDING TORTOISE!) and while I still find him one of the most likeable guys, the competition from other male characters is pretty crap.
Andrea: But, honestly, y’all, Daphne was a pretty forgettable character, so I’m not going to fault Matt for that lapse of memory. Hell, I forgot about her … but then, I own my meanness, too.
So are we supposed to believe that Hiro is FINALLY over it as far as Ando’s powers? And what do you think of “The Crimson Arc”?
Mahsino: Okay, so I know this is really kinda out there, but the Crimson Arc totally seems like a euphemism for menstrual cycles.
Jen*: Please don’t say it. Don’t say what I’m thinking. You did! You said it. AAGH.
Mahsino: Come on, it was sooo awkward and obvious. Hiro even called it unfortunate.
Jen*: Of all the names. Why Crimson?
Diana: Mahsino, you are so right. LOL I have to pop a Midol just thinking about it.
Erica: Gah, THAT’S why it weirded me out, hahaha! We just learned there aren’t a lot of female writers on staff at Heroes … (Oh, and Hiro’s just finishing his usual “I learned something” cycle, which he completes every 28 days season.)
Andrea: Which, Erica, brought on my usual eyeroll.
Mahsino: So on the plus side: Danko finally took the damn shot.
For the negatives (and there’s lots of ‘em), the whole implied “all Asians look alike and therefore interchangeable” bit is getting a bit tired. It wasn’t cool when Dollhouse did it, it isn’t cool when Heroes does it.
And through this whole Sylar arch I was thinking to myself: is Sylar supposed to be Norman Bates 2.0? I about turned it off when we played the “interacts with ghosts card”. Some might recall, that’s what made me jump the Grey’s Anatomy ship. The only thing saving Heroes at this point is the Roundtable. And just how did they find Mo’, but not the Benetrelli’s in the desert again? Do the cameras only pick up colored presence?
Jen*: I wanted a Sylar/Micah dream team SOOO bad! Sylar can work things out with his dead mom a la Psycho, but a live boy with awesome techno-powers? Can’t get along. Eh.
Mahsino: Really? I thought Micah had a distinct Magic Colored Boy Who Brings A Conscience to the Troubled White Fella feeling from the whole ordeal.
Andrea: Co-sign, Mahsino.
Jen*: I can see that – but could they not have been a bit awesome together? Maybe I just want Micah to get more screen time, but, they could’ve really sewn some things up. Considering Micah seems to have locs on all the relevant heroes. Also, I’m dreaming of someone throwing a knife into the back of Nathan’s head. That’d make the finale really sing.
*I’m not sure how we were supposed to take Sylar-as-Nathan’s speech about the president and “change”, but it felt really weird to me. I’ve always felt more comfortable when Heroes stays in more of a fantasy world, and doesn’t try to make comments on real life. This was…can’t-put-my-finger-on-it…uncomfortable.
Mahsino: But him meeting the President “changes everything”. Plus, I’d rather Micah just not get dragged down with this ship at all.
Jen*: But you know he still has some weird connection to Tracy – who *Is* coming back. Somehow. So, there’ll be that.
Mahsino: Either her or Barbara, the triplet/quadruplet (since I guess we’re supposed to have forgotten about Jessica.)
Jen*: I wondered why they listed them as triplets and there was no Jessica. Sometimes I think the writers didn’t watch the first season.
Diana: I really wish someone would tell Nathan he can’t fix jack *&@!! and then punch him in the face. And what was that Sylar/Nathan channeling Barack Obama change speak? Can the writers on this show come up with anything remotely original? On a more positive note, I did like the the Sylar-Micah interaction. Micah has the ability to tame a psycho with his purity of heart–that was a nice touch. But with Sylar, nice can only last for so long. At this point, I’m thinking they should just scrap Heroes and have two spin-off shows:
1. The Adventures of Hiro and Ando; and
2. The Sylar Chronicles. The little boy who plays Micah has his career ahead of him and should find a better vehicle for his talents.
Erica: YES, I want to see Micah in other things too. (Preferably not The Sylar Chronicles, though. I’m thinking an hour of all-Sylar would get dull quickly, despite the fact that I like Zachary Quinto.)
I think Sendhil R.’s expression here is pretty fitting for the season so far. Time to Caption The Pic!
Mahsino: he’s totes doing the whole MySpace “angles”. I could totally see him thinking “This is gonna be my Profile pic” as he took it.
Jen*: I’m getting a flashback to the “Whasssssssssssssssup!” commercials…
Diana: Look at me, I’m so pretty.
Erica: Mmmm… I’ll lick your ear if you lick mine!
Andrea: Ummm…..uuuhhhh……excuse me, Roundtable. ::leaves computer and grabs vibrator::
And on that uh, romantic note we’ll let you go for now … This week, the big question: Who still has any patience for this show anymore?