Between “Mammy” and “Miss Ann”: The “problem” with Michelle

by Guest Contributor Tami, originally published at What Tami Said.

Privilege hates to lose it’s place. Privilege believes that it deserves to be exulted above others. Indeed, it resents when the “other” is elevated to equal status, particularly when the “other” refuses to conform to the rules that privilege has put in place. So, the criticism of Michelle Obama’s physicality and sartorial choices comes as no surprise.

Most mainstream media are on board the FLOTUS love train. They call the First Lady beautiful. They love her unique style. They cherish those awesome, toned arms. They love her modern marriage. They celebrate her role as a mother. All of this talk about appearance and being a wife and mother–stereotypical feminine ideals–is driving some white feminists to distraction. They think this focus diminishes Michelle Obama’s considerable intellect and professional achievements. Most black women I know see things differently. The so-called feminine ideal is a tyranny to all women, but it is white women who stand as its embodiment. In the public consciousness, black women are almost never the most beautiful ones or the good wives or mothers. White women see Michelle Obama getting pushed into a feminized role and lament that this always happens to women. Many black woman recognize that it rarely happens to us and we are happy that people are finally recognizing our femininity.

The criticism that Michelle Obama has received, among the accolades, is instructive about the way black women are often viewed by the American public. Yesterday’s New York Times “Opinionator” column rounds up Web analysis of reactions to Michelle Obama’s style and appearance, particularly on the first couple’s recent European trip.

Reading about Juan Williams’ “Stokely Carmichael in a dress” comment, hearing the constant pondering of the first lady’s large buttocks and strong arms, and witnessing ongoing attempts to portray her as domineering, a narrative emerges that is not unfamiliar: Black woman are big, aggressive–not feminine, but masculine. Perhaps the only stereotype missing is the hypersexual tag that we often get saddled with–hypersexuality that is the opposite of the virginal feminine ideal.

Some folks clearly resent the presence of a black woman in an iconic position of American womanhood–one that is not meant for us.

Take the nitpicking about the First Lady’s clothing. Fashion press, as well as designers Donna Karan and Oscar de la Renta have sniffed at Obama’s choices of niche designers and off-the-rack clothes. Karan reckons Obama is going through a phase: “I hope and believe this is just a moment.” While de la Renta questioned the wisdom of wearing a sweater to Buckingham Palace. And, of course, there is the constant sniping about the First Lady’s shockingly uncovered biceps. The New York Times quotes Gioia Diliberto in Huffington Post:

Since the Inauguration, I’ve been hearing fashion insiders – designers, journalists and scholars complain that many of Michelle’s clothes by the relatively obscure U.S. designers Jason Wu, Isabel Toledo and Thakoon Panichgul don’t fit right or are unflattering. They think that Michelle doesn’t have enough fashion savvy to know what looks good on her, and that she’s relying too heavily on Ikram Goldman, owner of the eponymous Chicago boutique, to choose her outfits. . . .

The designers say that Michelle will help the struggling fashion industry if she spreads her sartorial self around. But it’s hard not to read in their complaint a note of condescension. How can Michelle, who comes from a working class background and probably doesn’t know the difference between silk ziberline and silk twill, dare to snub them?

Indeed. Over on Daily Kos, Dmitcha breaks it down further:

In Feb 2009, New York’s Fashion Week featured 116 labels and 3,697 runway spots. 668 of those spots – 18% – went to models of color. Not 668 models, mind you, because three of the top ethnic girls took up half of those spots with repeat appearances). That’s right, 18% women of color – ANY COLOR – on the runways and 82% white models. In New York City. So the real question should be “Donna, Ralph and Calvin, where in the world are your ethnic models?”

When top designers send the ideal down their runways, black women are noticeably absent. (Naomi Campbell recently commented on just this fact.) Yet, these same designers demand to be the ideal couturiers for our first African American First Lady. They disdain us, but expect our loyalty. And they resent young interlopers (of color) like Jason Wu, Isabel Toledo and Thakoon Panichgul for daring to think that they are worthy of dressing heads of state. See, that’s privilege for you.

The overarching “problem” with Michelle Obama is this: Her womanhood does not conform to the boxes the mainstream has created. And privilege asks for–no, demands–that we confirm to its ideals. Zora at We Are Respectable Negroes writes:

She’s statuesque, confident, self-defined, beautiful and black. Pobrecita. What an unfortunate combination of qualities for Michelle Obama to carry, for they seem to stand in the way of the mainstream’s ability to feel completely comfortable with her as America’s first lady. Folks are still struggling to understand her (and to define her) because she is so unlike any other Black woman on the national and international stage. One “tired” and superficial way of managing this is by focusing on her appearance.

If Michelle were overweight and outwardly insecure about her Negritude (ala Oprah Winfrey), America would likely embrace her more affectionately as our own. She would be heralded as our national Mammy. Yes, she would still get some digs; but the scrutiny of her appearance wouldn’t be nearly as great. We’ve seen mammies before and we are comfortable with them. Instead, we don’t quite know what to do with Michelle Obama. The problem is that she does not confirm the WASP woman as an ideal — neither by fitting into the stereotype of the loud, overweight black woman nor by being the good, middle-class Negress who conforms to the norms of white women.

Neither the white ideal nor the black stereotype–Michelle Obama is fiercely herself. And seeing that self lauded as beautiful, strong and feminine does some good for black women and girls. Dmitcha, who btw is a former model, again:

But if you think the extraordinary attention paid to the looks, grace and style of our country’s first African-American First Lady truly will not have enormous societal and international repercussions, and for generations to come, you are incorrect.

It mattered to Oprah when the Supremes showed up on Ed Sullivan. It mattered to me when Beverly Johnson showed up on the cover of Vogue. It mattered to the girls in my teen programs when they saw my insanely airbrushed face on a city bus. And it matters to people all over the world – not just young Black girls, but everyone who ever will interact with a Black woman – that Mrs. Obama has become the leading icon of womanhood that our country now exports. It matters. And it may actually change these darn runways and magazines at last, after decades of resistance, so that all of our kids will see a more diverse image of beauty, not just for their own self-esteem, but in the face of a woman they may one day hire, work with, work for, befriend or love.


Let’s Talk Black Femininity

Join me for the next episode of The Best of What Tami Said at 4 p.m. ET, Sunday, April 19. Our topic will be Black Femininity. I’ll be joined by three of my favorite bloggers: AJ Plaid of The Cruel Secretary, Monica of TransGriot and Renee of Womanist Musings.

Share and Enjoy:
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • StumbleUpon
  • del.icio.us
  • Google Bookmarks
  • NewsVine
  • Current
  • email
  • Print

Trackbacks & Pings

  1. Making sense of Michelle « Communication and Culture Blog on 20 Apr 2009 at 9:00 am

    [...] Making sense of Michelle 20 April 2009 — Jonathan Rossing Here’s another good example for thinking through the many different elements of the “rhetorical view” that we’ve addressed and developed … it’s a commentary about what people say about Michelle Obama. [...]

Comments

  1. Deaf Indian Muslim Anarchist! wrote:

    I love Michelle Obama. I remember the uproar when those whiney, rich fashion designers slammed her for not wearing their labels, and I just thought that was hilarious.

    I haven’t even thought about the distinct difference between White feminists whining over the media’s focus on her appearance instead of her intelligence while Black feminists are proud of her feminity celebrated by the media. very good point, I can see that now.

  2. Vodalus wrote:

    Yes, that was an excellent point about white feminists distaste for praise of femininity versus black feminists welcoming it. (Sorry, I’m sure that sentence was structured in a semi-offensive way, but I’m in a hurry and you guys get it.)

    I really liked this post. It made me update my Facebook status to explicitly state my positive opinion about MO. She rocks–and she deserves more people saying it.

  3. wendi muse wrote:

    great article, tami!

  4. fruitoftheloon wrote:

    No, no, all of those fashion designers are right: Michelle Obama has a duty to wear the most expensive, top-label clothing she can find in the midst of an economic recession. Doesn’t she understand it’s her duty as FLOTUS to make sure Donna Karan can weather the economic storm? I’m sure none of the Obama-hating pundits would use fancy designer clothing against her as a way to complain about extreme government spending or anything like that.

  5. Winn wrote:

    Great post, Tami. Very perceptive about the disconnect between white feminists lamenting the minimizing of Michelle Obama’s accomplishment and intelligence with black feminists appreciation for the fact that those desirable “ideal feminine” qualities are finally being ascribed to a black woman.

    I have a hard time conveying my love for MO. She is just so…fierce. A tired, cliched and somewhat sexist term but one I also think is expansive enough to hold her prodigious smarts, extraordinary dignity and resilience, amazing confidence, accessibility and compassion, wit and self-possession. All the attacks on her become a cacophony of confusion, disdain, befuddlement, and shock that this woman not only doesn’t conform, but has not so far turned out to be the albatross that Juan Williams and his ilk claimed she would be. Instead, she’s making friends and influencing people whereever she goes. The media love affair will eventually end, but that only matters if there is no substance to back up the love fest, and MO has that and then some. I just hold out hope that as much as I love her sense of style and think she is beautiful, the comparisons to Jackie O will diminish and the ones to Eleanor Roosevelt will gain primacy. I think Michelle Obama has the potential to be an incredibly accomplished and influential First Lady, and she will do it with her arms bare and her head unbowed.

  6. Queen B wrote:

    I am so sick of the debate surrounding Michelle Obama’s clothes, appearance and hair. Here is a woman- a former executive with degrees from Princeton and Harvard Law, and all everyone talk about is whether her outfit has sleeves or not. I can’t wait til this country elects a woman and the First Lady position is eliminated.
    In my opinion, the First Lady is the wife of the president and a glorified hostess-nothing more. In no way should be the First Lady be a full time job.

    Maybe if Michelle Obama had a real job with real responsibilities, the focus would be taken off what she is wearing and on to what she is doing. The First Lady is neither elected nor appointed. She receives no salary but she does have an office and a staff.

    I read an article which stated that men who are married to woman governors have continued to work the private sector, but women who are more to male governors inevitably quite their jobs for the title of “First Lady”.

    Michelle Obama is smart and very capable woman and if Pres. Obama was smart he would utilize Michelle Obama in a way that reflects her intelligence. I do not want to see Michelle Obama at talking to children at schools or starting a white House garden-areas typically reserved for women, I would love to see her have a policy making role but that won’t happen because the American public would not accept a First Lady who is equal to her president husband.

  7. deathblossom wrote:

    Well, I do get annoyed at First Mom, but Michelle’s “femininity” doesn’t bother me because it’s not typical femininity to me. She’s not meek with her head down, fake smile, and only there to look pretty. She just simply knows how to dress decent. Everything else is a self-assured, humorous, confident woman who is running things! How is that not iconic? So, these concerns about her being stuck in a “feminine” role seem like a strawman by those who can’t actually see Michelle as a person or are choosing to ignore who she is because they want her to be more stereotypically like them. Almost like jealously, but not entirely. Sort of like those white people who complain that Obama is white and he is ignoring/scapegoating his white heritage. It has those same overtones to me.

    Also, YES on the fashion designers. It would be awesome if Michelle were doing it on purpose.

  8. little mixed girl wrote:

    i’m glad that she’s mixing items designed by up-and-comers with “accessible” brands…ie- stuff you could get at a store.

    for what it’s worth, my female co-workers over here in japan think that her style is great.

  9. beautifuldaidreamer wrote:

    I appreciate the honesty and candor of this article. Michelle Obama is an intelligent, influential and beautiful woman. It disturbs me that the media has paid so much attention to her attire and her body, but I believe that her accomplishments (future and present) will overshadow all that fashion nonsense. Although I know that the Obamas will not change America’s view of Black people entirely, it’s nice to have that positive image accessible to the masses. I want more people to realize that women like Mrs. Obama are the rule, not the exception.

  10. Bagelsan wrote:

    I can’t wait til this country elects a woman and the First Lady position is eliminated.

    Or we could elect a woman and keep it. :D

  11. Naida13 wrote:

    Thank you for this post. As a white woman, I must confess to being guilty of feeling frustrated that the media paid so much attention to Ms. Obama’s appearance and clothing. Yes, she is beautiful and stylish – but she is so much more.
    But, I am coming from the position of privilege as a white woman; I had not considered what it means to see her celebrated for her femininity as a black woman – and what that would mean for black women and girls nationally and internationally.
    I wonder – is there not a way that we can discuss both, though? I may have missed something – but can’t we celebrate the fact that she is both beautiful/stylish/maternal (feminine) and brilliant, eloquent and accomplished? They don’t have to be mutually exclusive, right? I think my problem with the media’s portrayal of Ms. Obama is that they seem to focus EXCLUSIVELY on her appearance and her fashion and to ignore her other achievements and accomplishments. And that, to me, seems like just another way of putting her into a box. (Like with all of the comparisons between Michelle Obama and Jackie Kennedy. Has anyone seen videos of Jackie Kennedy at the white house? It’s scary how flat, passive and seemingly incapable of independent thought she is in those clips of her showing the media around the White House. IMO, it’s insulting (to Ms. Obama) to compare the two women). But again, maybe I am missing something speaking as a white woman. Maybe it’s just because I’m sick of having to conform to the “white ideal” of what being feminine means – and that after 8 years of Laura Bush as first lady – it’s exhilirating to see someone who is so much more than just a pretty face as our nation’s First Lady. It is frustrating, then, to see the media persist in focusing purely on her looks and her style. (Again, not that these things shouldn’t be celebrated, but I feel like it would be more meaningful to celebrate them in the greater context of Michelle Obama as a whole person. Not just a beauty, but a successful lawyer, an eloquent speaker and a loving mother and wife). Is it wrong to wish to see that? Wouldn’t that be a big step forward in how ALL women are portrayed by the media? (I’m thinking now of how Hillary Clinton was portrayed. All the references to her being a lesbian or being a man – because she was strong, intelligent and independent. It would be great to see the media portray a woman as strong, intelligent and independent and that a woman can be all these things and STILL be feminine).
    Thank you again for a thought-provoking post!

  12. Onely wrote:

    Re. Dmitcha’s runway model quote: I recently counted the number of women of color in my Victoria’s Secret catalog (they spammed me! I couldn’t help it!), and I got something like 12 in 400. And a number of those I wasn’t even sure whether they were, in fact, women of color. So all those poor fashion designers, yes, they can just suck it up. And actually, would it be so bad if the fashion industry failed in this economy? Here are the industries that would actually benefit society by their failure:
    Fashion.
    Women’s magazines (and People magazine).
    Pornography.
    Fast Food (not including Chipotle of course).

    I can see how a black woman would be happy to see another black woman represented as a feminine ideal in the media, given that historically white is seen as closer to that wierd ideal. Intellectually, I know that white is held closer to the wierd feminine ideal than black is–but as a white woman, what I want to see are not thin white small-nosed women on billboards, but women with quirks (”flaws” in women’s magazine parlance) like me–large thighs, one eyebrow lower than the other.

    Christina

  13. CC wrote:

    Michelle Obama is everything that a woman of any color should aspire to be. Brilliant, beautiful, by all accounts a wonderful wife and mother, and taking no crap while doing it all. I’m not black, so a lot of what’s been written about the black perspective is over my head. I just think that the mere fact of her self confidence makes her a fantastic icon for any woman, anywhere.

  14. Kandeezie wrote:

    We should celebrate in her being equal with (the ideal) white women, which is second class to a man? Which really doesn’t do much? Makes no sense to me. At the end of the day, it is European patriarchal systems of value/valueless that created our modern experience of sexism, racism, homophobia, and the like.

    Why are we celebrating in her appearance, which is the main focus of femininity?

    Not her brains.

    Not the fact that she supported the family and her 6-figure pay cheque allowed Obama the opportunity to even become president.

    Not the fact that she came from “nothing” and made “something”.

    We should just point out that white feminists are jealous and don’t want to lose their place as supreme objects? OBJECTS!! That’s it? How about we strive for MORE. Forget winning the accolades of being equal to white women ideals. I’d give up femininity to be respected. As an equal. Period. How about we go higher!

    Just saying…

  15. Mary wrote:

    I am glad you referenced the Daily Kos piece, because that was one of the most beautiful smackdowns of the “Why isn’t Michelle wearing MYYYYYY clothes?” butthurt from Oscar de la Renta.

    I admit to being a little frustrated with the fixation on Michelle’s clothing choices, but primarily in the sense that sometimes I think she can’t win. If she wore only designer labels, the media would have a field day about her splurging in the middle of a recession, as they did with Cindy McCain (and in Michelle’s case, I’m sure she would get the bonus “uppity” accusations). If she dresses more independently, the silly criticisms of her arms, hair, and rear end come into play.

    I will say that, maybe this reflects a skewed sample of the blogs I visit, but I read overwhelmingly positive reactions to Michelle Obama, both as a woman and as a fashion icon. Obviously on the Internet you don’t always know the color of who’s posting what, but I’m guessing there’s a decent mix. And, there was a recent poll that found Michelle’s favorability rating was higher Barack’s, at something like 72%.

    So, I don’t mean to downplay the uglier trends in comments that get directed at Michelle, but I’ve actually been pleasantly surprised in the past few months at the outpouring of admiration and affection I see for her, from all kinds of people.

  16. embarcadero113 wrote:

    Excellent article!

    Michelle, like Barack, symbolizes the talented, educated, beautiful, brilliant Black population that has always existed, but has only recently been “discovered” by mainstream White America. The mainstream is fascinated by her like she’s a pink unicorn from space– something that has never been seen before in real life. We, Black women, know better.

    Excellent depiction of the intimidation felt by some white mainstream women at Michelle Obama’s rise. The idea that this “Strong Black Woman” could somehow redefine the feckless, light definition of femininity is positivelty *devastating.* That’s why they accuse her of lacking “class” (because she can’t be born with it), or being domineering (because white women “would never do that”). In the mean time, Black America is just happy to be represented accurately on a national stage. It’s good for Black men, AND Black women.

    But this intimidation, this white rebellion against Black femininity, is nothing new. I feel it everyday, and in my life, more racially problematic behavior has come from white women then white men. But that’s an ENTIRELY different conversation, involving more complicated factors.

  17. Sarah C. wrote:

    I also enjoyed this piece. When David Brooks referred to Michelle Obama’s biceps as “thunder and lightning” (twice, once to Gail Collins, once to Maureen Dowd) I felt this tidal wave of rage. How dare men still feel that it is acceptable to comment on women’s bodies!

    Comments like these reveal laughable insecurities in David Brooks and the other talking heads who criticize the First Lady.

  18. Nunya wrote:

    Hi Onely,

    As a black woman who works in the fashion industry, I would hate it if my industry failed. I need my job and the other talented WOC’s who work in this industry need their jobs. The fashion industry employs billions of people around the world and contributes trillions of dollars to the world economy. If this industry fails a lot of smaller, poorer countries will fail with it. Larger first-world countries will also be horribly affected by the collapse of the entire fashion industry.

    Noted that the fashion industry is seen by most as silly & frivolous, but everyone needs clothes & shoes – everyone. Please take a bit of time before you make such a sweeping statement about 1 segment of society & the economy.

    Thanks.

  19. CrzyCatDC wrote:

    @Queen B

    Actually, being First Lady is a job. It’s all what you make it. Michelle has done a lot in the DC area in the short time she’s been here. Some people may think that going to a middle school to read to the students there is not “real” work, but it is. And it’s work we need–especially in the Black urban communities. It gives those kids a role model to look up to at a time when black professionals are moving to the suburbs in droves and it calls national attention to the issues urban schools face.

    @Kandeezie

    Beauty is directly related to self-esteem. Like it or not, that’s reality, that’s the world we live in. Should the system change? Yes. Is it going to change tomorrow? NO. Black men and women grow up hating themselves and eachother because of their noses, the color of their skin, the texture of their hair, etc. and then we get older and we berade each other for our appearance, our clothes, our shoes, our hairstyle, etc. Image has become very important to our community because throughout history, attacks–whether they be racist, sexist, or what have you–have always centered on our bodies and our appearances. Let’s not forget that “Hottenton Venus” was paraded around Europe simply because people were fascinated with the size of her hips and butt…or that black men who were lynched first had their penises cut off. The body has been our battle ground throughout history. And it has directly impacted our self-esteem, the way we treat ourselves, the way we treat others and the way we’re treated. It is an issue we must address. To belittle the issue is to belittle the impact of racism and sexism on the psyche. We should celebrate her beauty, her physique, her brains, her hard work, her talent, her achievements–we should celebrate it all. But don’t ignore image for the sake of celebrating her intelligence and talent. It would be like saying Obama’s charisma had nothing to do with him being elected. We all know that image plays a huge part in how the world sees her and how we see her.

  20. sd wrote:

    I agree with embarcadero that some of the most problematic racial encounters that i have had have been with white women. Speaking for myself, at least some of these problems have resulted from their frustration that, by being attractive, well-dressed and soft-spoken, I upset their expectation that they were more “feminine” and therefore superior. There’s almost a rage that some of them express that I don’t fit into either a “mammy” or “ghetto girl” stereotype.

    In the case of Michelle Obama, that attitude is clearly present, particularly when one reads the commentary by white female columnists – for instance, one recent article referred to Ms. O as wearing “big girl clothes” purchased at a New Jersey mall and lacking good taste. It seemed like nothing other than a spiteful attempt to put Ms. O “in her place” – below presumably better-dressed and -mannered (and smaller?!) white women.

    One interesting aspect of the femininity discussion is the constant focus on the Obamas’ relationship. Amongst the general statements — “they seem so in love,” “they really adore each other,” “they have an obvious physical attraction” — is a sense of incredulity that the successful-beyond-measure, tall-and-handsome Obama could possibly have these feelings towards Michelle, a dark-skinned, self-confident black woman from Chicago. Several commentators, black and white, have asked the question — why didn’t Obama choose a white or lighter-skinned woman? Indeed, one white male author stated that Michelle had “convinced Obama that she was a good catch.” The perceived need for this kind of analysis seems to suggest that black women – particularly dark black women – are still not viewed as desirable or worthy of true romantic love. This seems to tie in strongly to whether black women fit the “feminine ideal” and at least partially explains the relief that I, and other black women feel that Michelle is changing what the feminine ideal means. It also involves readjusting our beliefs about which women are worthy of romancing, of marrying, of commitment. That is a scary prospect to many people, where the romantic desirability heirarchy begins to be disturbed — there are a lot of white women and lighter-skinned women of all ethnicities – very much invested in being at the top of the chain.

  21. robyn wrote:

    Nunya

    Everybody may need clothes and shoes but exactly how many do you NEED? Does anybodies wardrobe need to be endlessly updated, massively marketed and over-hyped and turned into an industry where the ‘third world’ producers are kept in virtual slavery and the ‘first world’ consumers mindlessly but the next round of things presented to them? Everybody should take a long hard look at all the things they buy. Somebody somewhere was probably earning a few cents an hour on twelve hour days six or seven days a week so you can have some MORE new shoes and ANOTHER handbag. Disgusting. I hope the ‘fashion industry’ and its malign influence of women on women is one of the first things to go if times get really tough.

  22. robyn wrote:

    As to the topic

    I think Mrs Obama is correct in refusing to become a clothes horse. It is so boring to talk about what the woman (or any body is wearing. What is the point? Commenting on her arms looking strong is not the same thing though. If she works out and is toned then why not describe her arms as ‘thunder and lightning? I cant see anything derogatory in that remark, it seemed complimentary to me. But any talk of appearances in connection with politics is stupid and a distraction to real issues, so I will stop myself here.

  23. gwangung wrote:

    Personally, I think Michelle Obama’s best quality is her rock bottom common sense.

    Yes, she’s beautiful, fashionable and intelligent, and she gets deserved plaudits for that, but she’s got her head screwed on straight. THAT is pretty valuable, doncha think?

  24. MsBlenkins wrote:

    Great, thoughtful post. I admit, I have been one of those “white feminists annoyed by the focus on Michelle’s appearance.” I appreciate the new perspective that you’ve given me. I am still tired of the fashion snark and scrutinization of her body, I think that’s objectifying for anyone–but you’ve added a new dimension to my thoughts on the topic.
    Overall, I think Michelle Obama is cool as hell, and I do hope that her prominence in the public eye will help to expand ideas of beauty (because she *is* gorgeous), even as I continue to take issue with the emphasis placed on women’s looks.
    Thanks.

  25. Sarah C. wrote:

    Robyn,

    David Brooks’s references to Michelle Obama’s arms as “thunder and lightening” [as in "Now she should put away thunder and lightening " (to Maureen Dowd) and "As far as I can tell, one of the main reasons Barack Obama ran for president was so Michelle would have a platform to show her biceps, Thunder and Lightning, to the world." (to Gail Collins)] are belittling and derogatory. Brooks is a conservative columnist who took repeated potshots at the Obamas throughout the campaign. He did not make similar comments about the physically fit body of Sarah Palin.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/08/opinion/08dowd.html
    http://theconversation.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/03/03/let-them-eat-a-little-bit-of-cake/

    In Tami’s words:

    Reading about Juan Williams’ “Stokely Carmichael in a dress” comment, hearing the constant pondering of the first lady’s large buttocks and strong arms, and witnessing ongoing attempts to portray her as domineering, a narrative emerges that is not unfamiliar: Black woman are big, aggressive–not feminine, but masculine. Perhaps the only stereotype missing is the hypersexual tag that we often get saddled with–hypersexuality that is the opposite of the virginal feminine ideal.

    Perhaps Brooks was being “complimentary,” but I doubt it. As a white man commenting on a black woman’s body he inhabits a dynamic I am not comfortable with. I am a college teacher and comments from male students in my evals. about my toned legs don’t really make me happy. This type of thing undercuts my professionalism and my knowledge of my subject matter.

  26. Sarah C. wrote:

    Oops, I just realized I spelled lightning wrong.

  27. RainaWeather wrote:

    This was a great post. I’ve also noticed this difference in the way different women respond to Michelle’s media treatment. Although I don’t really find her as attractive as others do, it does make me happy that people recognize that she is a woman.

  28. Joseph wrote:

    @Tami
    Wow. This is a great post. I am not interested in fashion so I haven’t paid much attention to this kind of coverage–but I am really interested in representation, of PoC especially. And you have made an eloquent case for the representations of Michelle Obama as emblematic of the disconnects between both men and women and white and black women.

    I was just having a conversation with a friend about how raw I think the wounds are between white feminists and PoC–especially black women–since the election. What you have done here is really inspiring: exploring the different POV’s of all the interested parties, with great analysis but very little judgment.

  29. c.n.edaw wrote:

    I like Michelle Obama. I am a black woman. However, I am not nearly as impressed by her style (hate it) or her looks (attractive) as I am by her accomplishments and intelligence (ABSOLUTELY AMAZING).

    My biggest problem with all the musings about her personal style and looks is that it’s all comes off as being a bit disingenuous, especially in the media.

    As a woman who works in the “mainstream media”, I think a lot of the gushing is based on two things:

    1) typical but unfortunate mainstream surprise/shock that all black woman are not fat to obese, ghetto fabulous dressers, loud talking humorists, mammies or attitudinal “ball busters”.

    It is just dawning on some people that Condoleeza Rice’s conservatism of dress and manner was not some fluke of nature OR possible only in someone whose personal/political views run contrary to what is espoused as being mainstream African American.

    It’s just getting across that there are other black women out there (gasp!) even Democrats who are not models or actresses who tend to be just like sucessful women of other races in terms of style and dress and carrying themselves well. She’s being treated as novelty IMHO rather than somewhat representative of thousands of black women of similar backgrounds/achievement level.

    2. Fear. Outright fear, that to say that this woman is anything less than a style icon or great beauty, will open the floodgates and spur more very uncomfortable and unmanageable public debate about sex and race in the U.S.

    Several conversations I’ve had with colleagues white, black and other have given me strong indicators this is certainly a factor in how they portray this particular first lady.

    No one in the MSM REALLY wants to talk at length or honestly about race relations and even less about racism and sexism combined. They’d rather gush because it’s safer to do so. Unless you are a niche columnist, it’s probably not in your best interests, to say anything that could be misconstrued about the first lady.

    My views about black women and why they feel so strongly about Michelle are difficult. I understand, but I think it comes from the wrong place.

    That survey about the number of black women who based their vote for Barack just on the mere fact he was married to Michelle, a black woman, whose value (in their view) was upped even more because she was not a light skinned black woman frightened and disgusted me. That’s what you base a vote on ? Really? But I understand where it comes from.

    I also understand being jazzed because the MSM appear to be heralding her looks and femininity, but again something about it doesn’t sit well with me.

    It’s like the political equivalent of what we did in high school…putting the girl who snagged the quarterback on a pedestal and from that day forward…. who she was before doesnt matter because she’s the “it girl” now and nothing she does or says can be wrong and whatever she wears is the latest trend. And it was even better if the “it girl” wasn’t the prettiest girl in school or blonde like all the “it girls” before her.

    I think most black women think this love affair with Michelle will extend to all black women ultimately or at least a broader spectrum of them…but I think the reality is that just like high school… once the reign of the “it girl” is over, people move on, and those qualities don’t necessarily set the standard for the next” it girl.” It could. But it probably wont.

  30. Rona wrote:

    Thank you for this post. There are so many wonderful things about Michelle Obama that people are missing because they get hung up on (quite frankly) their own racism and sexism and discomfort with what they perceive as the Unfamiliar: a strong, educated, beautiful, healthy, happily married Black woman who does what she pleases, and does it well!

    Fashion-wise, I would like to see more discussion about how Michelle chooses designers of color for her clothes–and young ones as well. A nice, subtle way to practice affirmative action? Hell yeah!

  31. Jamerican Muslimah wrote:

    What a great, well-crafted article Tami! You’ve combined all of my mixed emotions about the media’s depiction of Michelle Obama into this fabulous post. Thanks.

  32. Pheagan wrote:

    Thank you for this. On the one hand, I do want to see Michelle Obama’s many other considerable achievements and characteristics valued, it’s true that what the public is lauding her for in an achievement as well.

    There seems to me to be a tendency, more among first-wave feminists than current ones, to throw out the baby with the bathwater. Beauty, vitue, motherly compassion– these are all characteristics identified as feminine. And while having them identified as the entire parameter of feminine value is a problem, and while it is a problem to expect those values from women who don’t naturally possess them, they are still values. They’re still good things to be. I myself have tried to root out my own sympatheticness and niceness out of my character before I realized– hey, these aren’t actually bad traits to have.

    So, this is a great perspective on the public reception of Michelle Obama– she is really exemplifying a certain kind of feminine ideal successfully, and that is not a bad thing. But I still do hope the public gains an appreciation of her other characteristics– her strength of character, and intelligence, and public astuteness– although all these characteristics are part of the figure she cuts in the public perception.

  33. Kaonashi wrote:

    Michelle Obama is everything that a woman of any color should aspire to be. Brilliant, beautiful, by all accounts a wonderful wife and mother, and taking no crap while doing it all.

    My thoughts exactly.

  34. Tami wrote:

    Kandeezie said:

    “We should celebrate in her being equal with (the ideal) white women, which is second class to a man? Which really doesn’t do much? Makes no sense to me. At the end of the day, it is European patriarchal systems of value/valueless that created our modern experience of sexism, racism, homophobia, and the like.

    Why are we celebrating in her appearance, which is the main focus of femininity?

    Not her brains.

    Not the fact that she supported the family and her 6-figure pay cheque allowed Obama the opportunity to even become president.

    Not the fact that she came from “nothing” and made “something”. ”

    No. I don’t want the press to focus exclusively on Michelle Obama’s appearance, or her role as a mother and wife, or any of those other stereotypically “women things.” I, too, would prefer that we spend time talking about her stellar accomplishments. But in the war for equality their are many battles. The struggle to have women accepted as intellectual and professional equals to men is one. The struggle to have black women accepted as equally desireable and valuable(whatever that means in our culture) as “the ideal” is another. We needn’t focus on one to the exclusion of the other.

  35. Tami wrote:

    I would also add that I don’t blanche as much at the idea of Michelle Obama as “First Mom,” a role I have heard many feminists (usually white) decry. This is an area where our cultural baggage is different.

    As I mentioned in the post, black women have never been viewed as primarily mothers of our OWN children. When it was thought that women (read: white women) were too delicate of mind and body to work hard in and outside of the home, black women were largely excluded from that bit of sexism. We were the work horses.

    Our culture is comfortable with black women working. In pop culture, we pop up as police women and judges and attorneys and caretakers, etc. But whenever we pop up, we rarely are given real lives outside of our work. The love of significant others or children or friends is usually reserved for the “ideal” woman.

    Also, when it comes to real life choices, fewer black women, of any social strata, are able or expected to make the choice to be full-time mothers, regardless of what they might want to do.

    Neither the feminized template for ideal womanhood that is a tyranny for many white women, nor the masculinized stereotype that is a tyranny for black women are good. They are both products of a sexist and racist patriarchy. Equality would mean that ALL women could be recognized for their whole beings and the choices that feel right to them.

    I think having Michelle Obama in the spotlight simply highlights the varied intersections of race and gender in the public sphere.

  36. rikyrah wrote:

    Another great article. I love that just by being herself, the First Lady is challenging so many stereotypes. It’s why they were BRUTAL towards her during the campaign. Because they couldn’t fit her into the box. Because they had so many slots for Black women, and she was going to be pushed into one of them. That she refuses drives them crazy. And yes, as a Black woman, I have absolutely no qualms with Michelle being lauded as a wife and a mother. Please tell me when Black Wives and Black Mothers are exhalted…oh yeah, they’re not.

    I already know Michelle Obama is a bright woman. She graduated from Princeton and Harvard and was the main breadwinner for the family. Her professionalism has already been proven.

    You are on the money with saying that Black women see things totally different. White women thought Michelle Obama was going to try and be Co-President, like Hillary Clinton. Black folks knew Michelle Obama would NEVER undermine her husband like that.

    I said it before: if Michelle Obama did nothing more than what Laura Bush did, it would be enough for me, just because SHE is in the position of First Lady.

    I love seeing her support her husband. I love seeing her love and protect her daughters. Tell me again when a loving Black woman caring for her intact nuclear family has been front and center, and tv/movies don’t count.

    I don’t ever shy away from my belief that I am happier to see Michelle Obama as First Lady than I am to see Barack Obama as President.

  37. violet wrote:

    Bravo tami. Bravo!
    Finally. There should be daily articles on this subject. This fact and reality.
    This is exactly what is going on with society, white women, and the media.
    They also do not know what to make of Mrs. Obama. The Africian-American middle-class and elite are constantly ignored. So the only reference America can make of Mrs. Obama is Jackie Kennedy.
    We who’ve grown up in these African-American circles know better. And it’s just another form of Racism and denial.
    The Kennedy family WISH that JFK and Jackie had been like the Obamas! Please!
    Mrs. Obama has broken the door down of the exclusive and hateful feminity ownership.

  38. pointofagreement wrote:

    Can’t we just state the obvious?

    These majority white pundits are still trying to figure out what kind of black person these folks are.

    You know how it is. All of you. You get a new job. All your co workers introduce themselves. And then the parsing begins. “Are they ghetto?” “Upper class?” “Gay?” “What’s their deal?”

    I think an earlier comment hit the whole thing on the head: the Obama’s are the upstanding, clean-living, God-fearing, highly accomplished African American’s we all know are out there, and might in fact be.

    But, seeing as white’s spend a large amount of their time, effort and energy avoiding us, they really don’t know what to make of these two.

    Even now.

    So, screw ‘em. Let Michelle be Michelle.

  39. Jen Wojtowicz wrote:

    Everyone has their angle about what is “feminist”, and what being a “real” woman is, and then they want to apply it to other women and their choices, either for or against. Tiresome. Feminism is really at work when women have a full menu of choices available to them, and when they make those choices based on what is important to themselves, not because a patriarchal society said so, or mom and dad said so, or a misogynist religion or political party said so, or judgmental people said so, or a fashion magazine said so, or some racist, sexist asshole said so… fuck ‘em all! no limits! no shoulds! no guilt! Michelle Obama is the first 1st Lady in my lifetime who I am proud to have represent me. I feel that more than anything she projects “to thine own self be true.” Rock on Michelle!!!

  40. MoeHailstone wrote:

    I think some of the more feminist reviews here about wanting the mainstream media to focus on Michelle Obama’s accomplishments will happen. Relax, the Obama’s just moved into the White House and we have 4 yrs for her to add to her considerable accomplishments and the mainstream media will have / need to focus on something else to talk about when they refer to Michelle Obama other than looks, fashion, etc… The courting period will end and the real relationship will begin.

    The Obama’s as an ideal are forcing white people in the media and in american society at large to reexamine how they think of black americans. I loved the comment one other poster said about if she were mammy(ized) america would feel better about her. Those same folks of privelege that are out in the ultra suburbs see only what mainstream media shows them. I’m not accepting of this its just a reality that they drive past many of us and go into heavily majority white work areas and social gatherings that they don’t come in contact with as many of us as we believe they do is why most of that prejudice still exists. A woman of high society should look and act as they do would definitely be the first schools of thought for those that would have to deal with their own prejudices after the fact. The beauty here is that the mainstream media will be “forced to”.

    You can’t marginalize or ignore Michelle Obama as first lady and everyone is going to pull on her to represent them or their ideals. To me feminists can go to hell since they never represented women that weren’t white and rarely had a feminine woman as its leader or came to the aid of those struggles of black or hispanic women. The fashion industry that rarely has black models or actually design clothes for black bodies can sit this presidency out as well and hopefully learn from their prejudiced arrogance as well. Ever seen how we black men can’t wear dockers cause of the lack of ass in the design make them floods in the back…lol But I digress

    I’d like to see Michelle Obama show the designers and how she chooses them. To showcase these new designers would be a coup for them in terms of how their thought of within their industry and would be beneficial to working women everywhere becuase First Lady Obama is wearing accessible clothes. Thats the other issue that no one wants to talk about is that those that are well to do dont want to have what they do or wear accessible to what they percieve as lower levels of society.

    Thanks for a great post and Michelle Obama in her role as First Lady will be lauded for more than fashion as time goes on. Her value to women of all colors, who now can envision themselves in the white house because of her, will be unmatched as time marches on. Don’t think for a second that the first hispanic, asian,or next black first lady or first woman president won’t have her as an inspiration and a template for what they should be, how they carry themselves, and how accomplished they should be. Most important that they be themselves and thats why I love Michelle Obama…she’s herself and not squeezing into those dockers that the mainstream media wants her in…lol

    I’m out

  41. CelloShots wrote:

    Patricia J. Williams most recent column in The Nation (http://www.thenation.com/doc/20090427/williams?rel=hp_columns) raises this same subject. And talks about how Michelle got friendly with the Queen of England too.

  42. Ric Caric wrote:

    Great article! I especially liked the way Tami drew attention back to the failure of the mainstream fashion industry to use women of color as models.

    I also have what might be a white guy kind of question. Tami points out that Michele Obama has been effective at evading the various kinds of stereotypes that are applied to black women. My question is the extent to which not being pinned down by such stereotypes is a continuing theme in the sub-cultures of women of color.

    Let me mention why I thought of this question. I’m a college professor in Kentucky who deals with racial issues a lot in my classes. One of the things I’ve found is that a substantial number of white students devote considerable cultural resources for defending, rationalizing, maintaining, and coming up with new versions of racial stereotypes. Thinking about Michelle Obama in relation to stereotypes made me wonder about the level of cultural attention to avoiding or counter-acting those kinds of stereotypes among women of color more generally.

  43. Tracey wrote:

    “Michelle Obama is everything that a woman of any color should aspire to be. Brilliant, beautiful, by all accounts a wonderful wife and mother, and taking no crap while doing it all.”

    Seriously. This is what every single women should expire to be? No diversity in desires and plans for the future? No wish to remain single, not be a mother, not be what is often associated as feminine? No wish to not be fashionable or trendy or maybe even reject current fashion all together? I agree with brilliant, but newsflash, not everyone who identifies as or is assigned the label of woman wants to be seen as those other things.
    I am one of those people that tend to get upset when the media only focuses on Obama’s style. It’s really annoying but this article has made me consider different aspects of it. For black women who do wish to be seen as feminine and stylish she is an excellent role model and I do love the fact that she wears designers of color and not designers who are caught up in the “blackout” on the runway.
    One thing that does still annoy me is that some people seem to be saying all black women should aspire to be her and her particular model of beauty and womanhood. To me she is amazing because she is herself, a very unique person. Someone who has created her own identity.
    And while it’s sad, if the media wasn’t talking about her fashion there is no guarantee they would be talking about her brains. I think Obama will blaze her own path despite the trivial nature of the media. She will be an excellent example of what any young woman can be (if it’s their cup of tea). And I hope she gets the respect she deserves from all. Raising a family, holding down a career, and supporting a partner in politics basically gave her three full time jobs to deal with. Not to mention the sacrifices in her career she had to make as a result of her partner’s politics (in addition to the Wal-Mart connected company she had to stop working for, who knows how many corporate gigs she didn’t take as a result of being married to what is supposed to be a “liberal” Democrat?).

  44. c.n.edaw wrote:

    Ric Caric said

    “One of the things I’ve found is that a substantial number of white students devote considerable cultural resources for defending, rationalizing, maintaining, and coming up with new versions of racial stereotypes. ”

    I live in KY and just last night I was at the home of an interracial couple. The wife is in her mid 20’s and a lot of her friends are in this age group and happen to be white –she is half black and her husband is white.

    I found it a little disturbing that in order to relate to her ( and me and the handful of other blacks there) it appeared a lot of those 20 somethings..you know the one’s who are supposed to lead this post racial era…cannot relate to this woman or any black people without using stereotypical references prevalent in pop culture.

    Last night I really understood why Dave Chapelle quit his show. These kids really don’t get satire on any level.

    I am not sure yet really how effective Michelle Obama is at evading those stereotypes altogether. Time will tell.

    One “positive stereotype” –if there is such a thing–that M.O. puts out there that I ultimately think works against black women in our quest for being viewed as equal to white women on all fronts, especially in the workplace– has already been alluded to somewhat. She embodies the idea of what my friends call “SUPER SISTERS”…black women who have it all, do it all, and do it well. When black women are more than competent that achievement is taken for granted as being a part of our “natural strength”.

    Throughout my career I have struggled with this. Once I demonstrate superior competence on the job my white bosses and colleagues determine I can do it all and I don’t need help, support, mentoring, advice, etc. However, white women, even sharp ones, are always seen as needing that kind of support because they are not “naturally strong”.

    When white women demonstrate that strength they are often better compensated/rewarded though they risk being pegged as bitches. Black women are already percieved as being tough, so the bitch threshold is higher. Which is where I also see the difference in how M.O. is portrayed/perceived in the MSM versus Hillary Clinton.

  45. by wrote:

    Awesome post! Any feminist who is decrying the media focusing on Michelle Obama as a new embodiment of grace and feminine beauty is out of their gourd.

    Not only do the racial stereotypes of femininity and beauty need overhauling, but so do the ideas that female beauty and strength and intelligence are mutually exclusive.

    It’s about time that a woman’s physical appeal be intertwined with who she is, what she thinks, and what she does. That standard has been held for men for eons. It’s about time!

  46. LaurynX wrote:

    “One thing that does still annoy me is that some people seem to be saying all black women should aspire to be her and her particular model of beauty and womanhood.”

    I haven’t seen that. Everyone has been saying that Michelle has her own unique style that doesn’t fit any stereotype. Her model of womanhood needs to be celebrated, and it has been here. I don’t think that should be mistaken for some prescription that everyone emulate her.

  47. Anonymous wrote:

    Great piece Tami! Yes, Michelle Obama is fiercely herself while embracing and exuding her femininity. And as a WoC, I celebrate all that she is and highly respect her for not allowing MSM, designers, critics or anyone else to box her in or define her.

    Our First Lady does not fit into the typical negative racial, gender or class stereotypes and that’s a good thing. And some of those filthy rich designers are sadly mistaken if they assume criticizing her unique style of fashion will somehow influence her to wear their designs.

    @LaurynX-

    I agree, “I don’t think that should be mistaken for some prescription that everyone emulate her.” The only thing that should be positively emulated is WoC can and should be our best at being ourselves.

  48. Rchoudh wrote:

    Really nice article on Mrs. O! I also like very much that she hasn’t succumbed to wearing the fashion styles of those snobby designers. Who made them judges of aesthetic clothing??

    I was also interested in finding out the different views different feminists took on her representations within the media. I agree that the media is too obsessed with certain qualities of hers at the expense of others. But then this is American MSM we’re talking about that thinks celebrities falling down drink should make headline news! They’ve never been accurate well rounded sources for information for a long time!

    Speaking of celebrities, one thing I’ve noticed is that since the Obamas are fairly young, some media sources try to poke fun at them as though they were your average run of the mill B or C list celebrities. Like I remember watching the Daily Show do something on Mrs. O that I thought was tacky and stupid. They had John Stewart interview a “fashion designer” who was designing clothes for Michelle. They had Michelle’s still image modeling the clothes. At one point they had “Michelle” turn around and we see she’s naked with her “bare bottoms” showing!
    I thought ok this is the First Lady we’re talking about not some tacky celebrity/reality star they were poking fun at. I just thought it was disrespectful of them to do that because I don’t remember other First Ladies having potty humor jokes made at their expense (with the possible exception of Hillary but even with her I just remember alot of verbal jokes instead of image driven ones).

  49. Rchoudh wrote:

    I just wanted to mention that I do also understand the pride black women feel having her shown as a style icon and “First Mom” to the world. Hopefully that can help change some of the dominant perceptions of beauty and mother hood prevalent in society today.

  50. octogalore wrote:

    Great post, Tami. You make a good point that there are a number of different prejudices operating here (black vs white femininity and motherhood, female vs male ability and dimensionality) and attacking one doesn’t mean ignoring another.

    rikyrah said: “Black women see things totally different. White women thought Michelle Obama was going to try and be Co-President, like Hillary Clinton. Black folks knew Michelle Obama would NEVER undermine her husband like that.”

    Well, I am not a black woman, but I’m a white woman who didn’t think MO was going to try to be Co-Pres, but I also didn’t think Hillary tried this. She was arguably politically unwise to take on unelected policy roles, but she never tried to compete with her husband and was supported by him in what she did. If MO ever did take on a more policy-oriented role, it seems a bit overinclusive to insist that all black women would view this as an attempt at undermining rather than an attempt to bring her policy experience to bear.

  51. NancyP wrote:

    “white feminist distaste for praise of M.O.’s femininity”: I think the complaint is that the media usually talks ONLY about her appearance, as if that is the single most important thing in her life and ours. She is a smart and accomplished woman, an unofficial goodwill ambassador, and should be acknowledged as such. First ladies have been allowed to have opinions – why shouldn’t M.O. get interviewed about issues she plans to promote as First Lady? And then say something nice about her carriage, fitness, fashion preferences, etc. Although I am not particularly feminine, I don’t regard femininity as a problem if the person involved is being feminine because it suits their personality. M.O. is clearly comfortable with herself.

    Femininity is only a problem when the commercialized “requirements” for femininity are imposed on all women or take over the lives of naturally feminine women with bad effect (eating disorders, encouragement of insecurity, occupation of more than its proper share of brain space and personal budget, confusion of commercial norm of “beauty” with the natural beauty all people can achieve, etc).

  52. cinco wrote:

    May Mrs. Obama continue to be the epitamy of grace, beauty, intelligence, and love and concern. She’s beautiful so far and I’m loving all she represents.

    Of course no one is nor is expected to be perfect. She is only human afterall. She will make mistakes, we all do. She will have failures as we all do. There will be regrets. What else is new? But may she always stand tall, be strong and remain thankful and humble.

  53. rikyrah wrote:

    Well, I am not a black woman, but I’m a white woman who didn’t think MO was going to try to be Co-Pres, but I also didn’t think Hillary tried this. She was arguably politically unwise to take on unelected policy roles, but she never tried to compete with her husband and was supported by him in what she did.

    What was ‘two for the price of one?’

    If MO ever did take on a more policy-oriented role, it seems a bit overinclusive to insist that all black women would view this as an attempt at undermining rather than an attempt to bring her policy experience to bear.

    Well, this is how I believe Black women and White women view things differently. There has been a deliberate attempt to emasculate The President and to use his wife to do it. It’s been there. It’s been beaten back, but, it’s been there. It is one of the STEREOTYPES of Black women – the EMASCULATING SAPPHIRE who ‘controls’ her husband, who doesn’t know how to ‘ handle her’.

    To walk around and ignore these issues and their realities is a mistake.

    Michelle Obama takes such a ‘ traditional ‘ role BECAUSE she knows this. She understands it, and she’s not going to do anything to contribute to a media ‘ meme’ that undermines her husband. She’s got his back; she wouldn’t do that to him.

    We have a Black President. That’s pretty much all the shock this country can handle for awhile. So, the thought that Michelle Obama would ‘ revolutionize’ the role of First Lady is foolish. She won’e remotely be going in that direction.

  54. Princezz wrote:

    @rikyrah

    Very well stated! With change, balance and wisdom are needed.

  55. dmarks wrote:

    octagalore said: “but I’m a white woman who didn’t think MO was going to try to be Co-Pres, but I also didn’t think Hillary tried this”

    Hillary did try it. Remember her famous quote “We are the President”. But she was using Bill as just a stepping-stone to the Presidency herself.

    I detect nothing so calculating in Michelle. Nothing other than Barack’s life partner. They are in it together, as opposed it to be a marriage as part of a power plan.

  56. Mary wrote:

    White women thought Michelle Obama was going to try and be Co-President, like Hillary Clinton. Black folks knew Michelle Obama would NEVER undermine her husband like that.

    Heh. For what it’s worth, this white woman thought “Hell, even if Michelle DID end up completely taking over the Presidency, she’s still smarter and more qualified than the guy we had for the previous eight years.”

  57. CDF wrote:

    You go, M.O.! Do your thing!!!

  58. sweeterjuice wrote:

    @QueenB wrote: “In my opinion, the First Lady is the wife of the president and a glorified hostess-nothing more. In no way should be the First Lady be a full time job. ”

    Clearly you weren’t alive when Betty Ford was First Lady. We need more First Lady’s like her.

  59. Nina wrote:

    No offense America, but to compare Michelle Obama to Jackie O is almost an insult to Michelle. What did Jackie O do other than look nice, her accomplishments pale compared to those of Michelle Obama.

  60. Nina wrote:

    naida13- i didn’t see your comment,but ita

  61. Denise wrote:

    When top designers send the ideal down their runways, black women are noticeably absent. (Naomi Campbell recently commented on just this fact.) Yet, these same designers demand to be the ideal couturiers for our first African American First Lady. They disdain us, but expect our loyalty. And they resent young interlopers (of color) like Jason Wu, Isabel Toledo and Thakoon Panichgul for daring to think that they are worthy of dressing heads of state. See, that’s privilege for you.

    Ssssssnap! I hope someone emailed this to Donna Karan.

  62. octogalore wrote:

    Rikyrah – “two for the price of one” was what Bill said, not Hillary.

    I still believe you are overgeneralizing in stating that black women as a group would view it as undermining if MO at some point took on a policy-oriented role. A number of the comments above from BW do not reflect this.

    I agree with you that there have been attempts to use MO to emasculate BO, and that she is making choices in terms of her role to avoid this. I don’t think anyone (here) disputes this.

    If, however, she waited a bit and then worked on a policy cause not directly connected to the administration, but more substantive than that a typical First Lady would be involved in, I don’t believe black women as a group (nor white women as a group) would view this as negative.

    Dmarks: “Hillary did try it. Remember her famous quote “We are the President”. But she was using Bill as just a stepping-stone to the Presidency herself.”

    That quote was hearsay, it’s never been solidly backed up, and even if the said it the context was a legal one in which the documents in question were hers and Bill’s, therefore “we.” Regarding her using Bill, that is interesting info and unless you are privy to her internal motivations, it’s curious how you could be so sure of it.

    Similarly, it’s also curious that you’re sure Michelle simply desires “nothing other than [to be] Barack’s life partner.” Neither of us can know, but based on Barack’s books citing Michelle’s frustration with his career and its demands coming first, I think it’s likely she’s very supportive and knows how important his position is, but also has her own goals that are both intertwined and separate.

  63. Bagelsan wrote:

    Similarly, it’s also curious that you’re sure Michelle simply desires “nothing other than [to be] Barack’s life partner.”

    I must admit, regardless of her actual feelings on the matter my first impulse is to defend Michelle against this terrible accusation of wifely sentiment. Of course she plans on taking over and running the world! She’s a smart woman! That’s what they do! (This is very cultural-difference-y indeed; the way I grew up you’re definitely expected to put your own career first, and before reading this post it might never have occurred to me that framing a woman as strong could be a *bad* thing unless you’re some sort of insecure misogynist.)

    As for the outpouring of white praise for the Obamas’ marriage, I definitely see that as having more than a little surprise at the root of it. I’d be pretty pissed off if someone told me how amazed and thrilled they were that I managed to get into college, for example… the implication that [insert positive example] is rare and shocking is pretty obviously insulting to person in that example. (”What? He doesn’t sleep around and she doesn’t scream at him? That’s downright white of them!”)

  64. rikyrah wrote:

    Similarly, it’s also curious that you’re sure Michelle simply desires “nothing other than [to be] Barack’s life partner.”

    Wherein what I wrote could you possibly believe that THAT is what I believe is what the First Lady wants.

    Michelle Obama has had her own career, and was THE main breadwinner for the family while Barack Obama ‘ followed his gift’.

    But, I DO believe that Michelle Obama sees, as the cornerstone of her life – her marriage and her family.

    She was raised in a home with a mother for whom that was the cornerstone of her life.

    Michelle Obama is Barack Obama’s Life PARTNER. He sees her as that. I think it’s obvious that is what she is. Their life journey began when they met at Sidley Austin.

    I just don’t see her being anything but a traditional First Lady, with a few tweaks, for his first term.

    And, because she IS Michelle Obama- First Black First Lady, that would be enough for me.

    I don’t see what’s wrong with being a Life Partner with someone.

    As I see it, Michelle Obama has had a career. Barack Obama had a ‘mission’. Those are two totally different lifeplans. Navigating her career while helping him with his ‘mission’ has obviously been tough on them as a couple, but it’s plain to see – she believes in HIM. She has his back. And, always will.

  65. sharon wrote:

    Tami, this was a great post on Michelle Obama; you oughta have it BRONZED and put away for future references!

  66. Lisa J wrote:

    Amen, sister! Preach Tami!

  67. octogalore wrote:

    Rikyrah: sorry for the confusion, the “life partner” comment was directed at Dmarks and not you.

    Dmarks specifically said “Nothing other than Barack’s life partner.” Thus my comment.

    Hope that clarifies.

  68. Adrianna wrote:

    Thank you for the post Tami ! Michelle Obama is popular a lot!!l here in Haiti , but she is hardly the only powerful black women to be viewed this way in the world There is the amazing Michael Jean who is Governor General of Canada who is very popular and Rama Yade in France who is one of the many powerful women in Sarkozy’s Government . She is very popular in France lots of the french political magazine has her face on them. I think Michelle has captured the hearts and mind of the world. This is the kind of image we need. As a young black women I’m grateful for her , not because of her style , alone but because I know many other young black girls need to see the ” this who I am ! I’m smart , beautiful, confident and I deserve to be adored by my man or woman ;) kind of women. The fact she came from not much then managed all these great things is the cherry on top. Young black women need to see that!! There is so much hate against us , about how we look , how smart we really are, the kind of love we deserve. When I moved to the US and went to high school.I was considered an anomaly by my classmates. I spoke several languages, I have an Italian sounding name, I’m brown skin, I was into speaking politics, world business and history with my teachers. It was funny seeing some of these kids trying to figure me out and trying to put me in a the box of stereotype. How do you know so much about history and politics ? why do you speak that way and not or way? So what did the do instead of befriending me? well They teased me, gossiped about me, started rumors and made Voodoo jokes. Funny thing later I learned it was because I intimidated them, because I was some sort of Black girl unicorn in the American landscape !! lol . Well Michelle and these other Powerful women as different and unique they are show that we are not unicorns and that there are Amazing black women like that the world over. It’s just that Now it’s America’s and the world is realizing it because one of us are is in the media eye.

  69. Slush wrote:

    I was just remembering this article this morning as I read in the news about Condoleezza Rice. What about Rice? I understand Michelle Obama perhaps has a stronger feminist side, but is that maybe just a perception because it is a liberal feminism? It just got me thinking about leading black women and who gets loved and who doesn’t. I’m not complaining that Racialicious never covered her, because I know you did, but not like Michelle. And I was thinking maybe some of it has to do with the fact that Michelle is a mother? I just think there a lot of interesting comparisons to draw….