LiveBlogging The Neighborhood Inaugural Ball
By Special Correspondent Arturo R. García, also Published At The Instant Callback
I admit, I spent most of Inauguration Day taking it all in quietly. Even my cynical heart warmed a little during the day. I didn’t have a thing to make fun of. Thank the stars ABC gave me the Neighborhood Inaugural Ball.
8:10 — Delayed start, but: Mary J. looked GREAT, and Will.i.am struck a good note — addition by subtraction of Fergie, perhaps?
8:19 — W. had Ricky Martin. O has Maroon 5. This is progress?!
8:20 — Robin Roberts! Yay! I remember when she was a SportsCenter rookie …
8:21 — Nick Cannon is as much a DJ as George Bush was a Decider.
8:22 — Mariah has a blinged-out mic stand. Take that, Mary J.!
8:25 — Oh shit, Denzel is there?
8:30 — Denzel arrives! PLYMOUTH ROCK, GET THE F-K OFF!
8:31 — Mariah can’t lend the President her mic stand?
8:32 — “How good-looking is my wife?” Epic.
8:34 — Is that Faith Hill next to Denzel?
8:34 — Beyonce nails the first note …
8:35 — Beyonce’s mic also had some bedazzle to it. Is this the next arms race?
8:40 — Homeland Security U.S.A. advert — Good to know Republicans still have some programs to watch.
8:41 — For a comedian, Jamie Foxx is a hell of a singer
8:42 — Shakira’s music sucks nowadays, but DAMN
8:43 — Nice to see Sting is growing another rainforest on his chin
8:45 — We have a president who bumps people. This might work out after all.
8:45 — My friend Chris: “The President may think he’s got good music at his party, but I get to see Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings this week. I win.” Can’t argue with that.
8:49 — These “all-star jams” rarely go well. Damn you, ABC, for not trusting Stevie Wonder to do his own damn song.
8:50 — For a comedian, Ray Romano is a hell of a waste of space.
8:51 — “I can’t believe I’m here.” I can’t believe you’re there either, Romano.
8:53 — This moron is DYING out there. Somewhere, there’s a hotel lounge missing a headliner …
8:55 — Ooo-wee-ooo, Jigga looks like Buddy Holly!
Oh Oh, where’s Beyonce Tyler Moore?
8:57 — Is it me, or does Jay sound like he’s out of breath?
8:59 — Y’know, when I wore glasses like those in fourth grade, I got my ass kicked. Now they’re in fashion?
9:03 — “Destiny calls.” You go straight to voicemail, Lost.
9:03 — Who in the blue hell is Kate Walsh?
9:05 — I don’t think I’ve ever seen Alicia Keys do a song badly.
9:08 — This might be the song of the night, up there with Beyonce
9:09 — Send in the clowns tumblers people jumping around on weird-looking sh-t!
9:10 — Info from my friend Paul on miss Walsh: “Best known for playing Addison Sheppard on Grey’s Anatomy/Private Practice on ABC. Don’t judge me for knowing that.” No, but I will quote you!
9:11 — The crowd doesn’t know what to make of the tumblers. Was the wrestling bear booked?
9:12 — The tumblers are cut off. For the first time in my television-watching life, I wish we’d gotten more commercials.
9:16 — If I sent a text from Tijuana, would Mexico get a star on the Map of Vague Good Feelings?
9:17 — Shakira’s butchering “The Right Side Of The Road,” but DAMN.
9:18 — Shakira, harmonica. Harmonica, Shakira.
9:23 — Stevie! Seriously, who needed The 5 Maroons?
9:26 — SW is stealing the show right from Alicia
9:30 — Grover on Scrubs? I thought Zack Braff was the only sock puppet allowed on that show.
9:32 — Even Biden gets a cheer!
9:33 — Even Biden gets an “AWWWWW”!
9:34 — Even Biden gets a dance!?
9:36 — Make that half a dance.
9:38 — Which final 20 minutes will be worse: the Neighborhood Ball’s or the average SNL’s?
9:40 — Who in the blue hell is Carrie Washington?
9:40 — Faith Hill just answered my question. I apologize, Lorne Michaels.
9:44 — Playing Joan Jett as bumper music is just a f-king cruel tease.
9:46 — Hey, Gitmo might be closing soon — are the CMT Awards looking for a new site?
9:49 — Sting + Stevie doing “Brand New Day.” Could be worse — that could be Shakira playing harp.
9:50 — My friend Chris: “Looks like Sting is practicing tantric shaving”
9:52 — If we’re rehashing ’90s inspirational pop for this, why not just book Jesus Jones?
9:55 — Watching the Frost/Nixon advert, wishing for the sequel: Olbermann/Bush.
9:57 — Looks like the end of an SNL episode, doesn’t it? Too bad Obama didn’t close with “Thanks to all of our guest-stars … and Ray Romano.”
9:58 — We’re closing with the tumblers? I miss Ray Romano!
10:00 — ABC News says, “The balls are in full swing.” Now that is how you end a party. YES WE CAN change the channel now.
So, the lesson of the night? The audacity of hope can conquer anything … except bad music. If it wasn’t for Beyonce, Alicia and Stevie, the Ball would’ve made Dick Clark’s NYE show look like Soul Train.
Normally you could blame this on events like MTV and the Youth Ball (what would you rather have watched, Sting and his kite-eating beard or Kanye and Fall Out Boy?), but for cripes’ sake, Common was at the Obama Home States Inaugural Ball. That’s like deciding the national football championship at the Humanitarian Bowl. I can only hope that someday, we as a nation and as a people can come together to get actual hip-hop and rock artists on a “major network” gala event. But hey, there’s always 2012, right?
* All photos courtesy of Reuters
Carmen Van Kerckhove is co-founder and president of
jen* wrote:
Wasn’t that *Keri* Washington? From Save the Last Dance and The Fantastic Four (among others)…
Posted 22 Jan 2009 at 11:48 am ¶
ceecee wrote:
lol @ kate walsh comment who happens to be one of my fave sitcom actresses
Posted 22 Jan 2009 at 1:46 pm ¶
sejw wrote:
Dear Sting,
Please. Shave. For the love of holy God. You are not Grizzly Adams.
Sincerely,
S.
Posted 22 Jan 2009 at 1:50 pm ¶
Lisa J wrote:
aww I liked the tumblers and I’m a Police/Sting fan so I liked him and Stevie together but it would have been good if Stevie had joined in on the lyrics and jammed together. Glad I wasn’t imagining that the Prez did the bump move!
Posted 22 Jan 2009 at 1:57 pm ¶
Monie wrote:
Did anyone see Beyonce’s Hillary Clinton moment with ABC’s Robin Roberts. lol Give me a break.
Posted 22 Jan 2009 at 2:08 pm ¶
Jamerican Muslimah wrote:
Yes, Shakira and Alicia Keys sounded horrible…and Alicia can SANG! What happened? Faith Hill didn’t sound that great either.
Posted 22 Jan 2009 at 2:44 pm ¶
Paz wrote:
–Is there YouTube footage of our President bumping? Please God?!?
(LOL@PLYMOUTH ROCK , GET THE FK OFF! Indeed.)
Posted 22 Jan 2009 at 2:59 pm ¶
Amused0472 wrote:
I thought Mariah didn’t sound so good, but, in my opinion, Alicia hit it. But I am glad they aired the ball in prime time on a channel everyone could watch (even with rabbit ears).
Posted 22 Jan 2009 at 3:20 pm ¶
Joseph wrote:
@Arturo
8:42–Ahem, Cosign. (Special note to religious psychos running Pray Away the Gay Summer Camps: The video for “Beautiful Liar” featuring Shakira and Beyonce is an essential tool in your arsenal. Just keep the sound down.)
8:59–I know, right? Sonuva…
9:05–I miss ’round the way Alicia with the braids and the jeans. Alicia 2.0 is like a motivational speaker with a giant shoe budget.
9:16–BWAH
9:44–That would have been AWESOME.
9:50–Again, BWAH
9:55– I am officially putting in my vote for Maddow/Bush.
“The balls are in full swing” heh.
…As usual, your commentary is more amusing than the thing itself (see, also Heroes). Could you read Frederic Jameson’s The Political Unconscious: Narrative as a Socially Symbolic Act and describe it me?
Never hurts to ask.
Posted 22 Jan 2009 at 4:16 pm ¶
Ramona wrote:
On Inauguration Day at Abraham Lincoln Elementary School in Glen Ellyn Mrs Harte-Naus told her class to stand up and clap for their new Black President, Mrs. Harte-Naus further elated that you should be very happy that you have a black President. You may find that this is an innocent request. However add the fact that this was told to only the three black students and that they were the only ones told to stand up and clap while the other students were not instructed to stand or clap and they just stared at the one student who actually did stand up. I find the behavior of this teacher to be unprofessional as well as inappropriate. Also before I decided to share this event I thought about it very carefully. I am a reasonable person and pondered over whether or not she planned to ask only the 3 black students to stand up before her class. Or was this a spur of the moment idea? It was my conclusion that it really did not matter at all it was distasteful and it caused me to wonder if she lived in a bubble where this sort of thing was a good idea. It saddens me that this is an event that happened around our children who are African American, Caucasian, Asian, Native American, Asian, etc. I sent an email to the principal of this Mrs. Cross and I was told that the Teacher was not in school the following day. Personally it is important to me that our President be someone who is about change for the good of everyone and it never mattered to me what the color of his skin is. We need to move away from what we see on the outside and look at a persons qualifications and experience.
(more)
Posted 22 Jan 2009 at 5:24 pm ¶
L. wrote:
“8:45 — We have a president who bumps people. This might work out after all.”
I personally think he should have done the prep…
Posted 22 Jan 2009 at 5:54 pm ¶
Minotaar wrote:
Who wants to start a pool on how long it will be until Denzel plays Barack? 2010, anyone?
Posted 22 Jan 2009 at 7:50 pm ¶
Arturo wrote:
Minotaar: Good question. I did read, however, that Will Smith threw his hat in the ring for the part.
Posted 22 Jan 2009 at 11:22 pm ¶
Monie wrote:
Minotaar,
If anyone plays Barack trust me it’s going to be Will Smith.
Posted 22 Jan 2009 at 11:54 pm ¶
Minotaar wrote:
Meh; I think Denzel would do a better job
Posted 23 Jan 2009 at 7:16 am ¶
untitleme wrote:
I think even Barack said he wanted Will Smith to play him. Must be a “ear thang”..hehehe.
Posted 23 Jan 2009 at 9:21 am ¶
The Cruel Secretary wrote:
I think even Barack said he wanted Will Smith to play him. Must be a “ear thang”..hehehe.
Gawd, I lurve us Racialicious folks!:D
Wait, President Obama did The Bump?
(At the party I went to, we were channel-surfing, so I missed it. But the multi–racial partyers did sing “Lift Ev’ry Voice and Sing.” I couldn’t join in ’cause it felt a little too “let’s-have-a-Negro-moment” for me, so I said no when asked.)
President Obama is soooooo old-school, but that was one of the dances he probably did in his boyhood or got exposed to later in life, so I’m sorta not surprised by it. All I can say about Barack and the Bump is…
::grabs Joseph and Arturo and does the Bump::
Posted 23 Jan 2009 at 2:13 pm ¶
Arturo wrote:
Joseph,
I could, but my standard book report fee is $20. Anything involving MLA format is gonna cost you more
Posted 23 Jan 2009 at 7:52 pm ¶
Joseph wrote:
@Arturo
Will you take a personal check? ‘Cause I have a dissertation bibliography with your name all over it…
@TCS
I am so making you a t-shirt that says “Let’s Have a Negro Moment” on it for your birthday.
Posted 23 Jan 2009 at 9:06 pm ¶
Latoya Peterson wrote:
::::Laughs at Arturo, Joseph, and TCS::::
We have *GOT* to plan more meet ups.
Posted 23 Jan 2009 at 10:54 pm ¶
Michelle wrote:
It’s Kerri….btw.
Posted 24 Jan 2009 at 3:17 pm ¶