Throw Momma Up For Ridicule: A Look At “Momma’s Boys”

By Special Correspondent Arturo R. García

So, what to do about Khalood Bojanowski? If you’re NBC, apparently, you hope to ride her “coattails” all the way to the ratings.

Previously, on “Momma’s Boys”: “Mrs. B,” who emigrated to the U.S. from Iraq as a child, became the center of attention of the network’s latest trainwreck reality show after declaring that she didn’t want her good Catholic son, Jojo, dating any of the following:

* Black women
* Jewish women
* Muslim women
* Asian women
* “Fat” women
* “Short” women
* Women from “divorced families”

Is Khalood crazy? Probably not. Was she an all-too-willing promotional hook for executive producer Ryan Seacrest and his staff? Quite possibly. Early on, the series seemed to focus almost exclusively on her animosity toward Vita, a 25-year-old critical care nurse. When Vita confronts her on the issue, Mrs. B. says that, though she loves her black godson and knows “half of the Detroit Lions,” — yet another reason to laugh at that franchise — that white and black cultures “don’t mix.” She also tells Vita, “My skin is darker than yours, b-tch,” which sets Vita off. Mind you, Vita later apologized; I appreciate the sentiment “respect your elders” as much as the next guy, but is a date with a 21-year-old college hockey player worth swallowing that much pride?

Later, after we get to hear more rantings against her from Mrs. B, Vita is eliminated, ostensibly because Jojo has shifted his focus toward another girl. Before Vita leaves, however, she and Mrs. B have a tearful reconciliation of sorts, where Mrs. B tells Vita she hopes her dreams come true or something vaguely “respectful.” And after her departure, Vita is again left in tears. I sincerely have no idea why.

In another episode, Khalood said she felt her culture was disrespected when only one of the remaining suitresses chose to cook an Iraqi meal as part of a challenge. We got to see her teary-eyed about it with her son, but not anybody asking her how the hell she could expect any respect after trashing a United Nations worth of races and cultures earlier in the contest, so any insight as to her real reasoning might have been left on the cutting-room floor. Though somber voice-overs and previews keep referring to Mrs. B’s views as “disturbing,” the creative team and the network have not stopped featuring her being obnoxious, to the point where the other two mother/son couplings were almost afterthoughts before the last couple of episodes.

Of the initial 32 participants, eight of them were black. Of those eight, only Camilla is still in the running, so Khalood hasn’t “won” yet, and the creative team can give us another round of ads like the one where Khalood, spying on Jojo from a friggin’ helicopter, losing her temper at the sight of her beloved son kissing another black contestant, Misty.

Entertainment Weekly was among the many outlets quick to roast the show upon its’ debut, calling it “The Best Show That Should Never Have Been Made.” And the public hasn’t taken the racist bait, according to Zap2it.com; “Momma’s Boys” has consistently lagged behind reruns of other shows since premiering late last year. And some sort of retribution may be coming to Mrs. B: before the show even began airing, she complained to police that she was being targeted.

But no matter what happens to Khalood and her decent if dim-witted brood, I’m left with more questions: Can Seacrest and his staff “justify” not only giving this woman a platform for her racism, but making her the focal point of the show’s storylines and promotion even as the ratings tanked? Was this, as The Cruel Secretary suggested to me, an attempt to “expose” racism? Why these three particular schmucks? Why did the sole Latina contestant not even get a chance to speak? And for the love of all deities, why are all these women – of color and otherwise – subjecting themselves to being “judged” by this collection of creepy-ass mothers and douche-tastic dudes? Tell me, dear readers, for I am a well and truly stumped geek.

That said, if you need me this week, I’ll be preparing for the announcement that Vita and Megan (she’s just too adorably geeky!) are taking part in the inevitable sequel, “Momma’s Girls.”

(Thanks to reader Tamara for the tip!)

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  1. Off-Topic: Ain’t Saying He’s A Gold Digger: Looking At Bromance & I Love You, Man at Racialicious - the intersection of race and pop culture on 02 Feb 2009 at 12:00 pm

    [...] Bromance is taking MTV’s new approach to dating shows: same-sex humiliation. Produced by Momma’s Boy’s mastermind Ryan “I was Metro when that was still another word for subway” Seacrest, the [...]

Comments

  1. Tamara wrote:

    I’ve only watched a few minutes of the show, mainly because its premise is very sexist. However, after seeing the promos, I tuned in to see just how Khalood justifies her sentiments. I want to ask her how her in-laws felt when they met their Iraqi daughter-in-law for the first time? Pot, meet my friend Kettle.

    I’m not surprised by Khalood’s sentiments at all. Racism and sexism are alive and well. I am surprised that she’s shocked – SHOCKED- that people would be upset with her words. She lives in Detroit! What did she think would happen when her real feelings came out?

  2. Lisa J wrote:

    I read a few reviews of this show and heard the tv critic who occasionally does reviews on Fresh Air with Terry Gross on NPR rip this show to shreds. The critic said he wishes he could have the hours of his life back he was forced to watch this show for his job. He also talked about this woman.

    My question, on top of her horrible and blatant racism (which is all to prevalant but strangely honest) how can someone from a country that is predominantly Muslim distincly not want her son to marry a Muslim but then gets mad that no one prepares a dish from that predominately Muslim country for some challenge? Weird, weird, weird. I know that there are non-Muslims there and obviously she is one of them but are they generally so anti-Muslim?

  3. A.D. Nix wrote:

    I haven’t seen this show (save what I’ve seen here) but the whole “Mamma’s Boy” dynamic freaks me out, in general. Too often the wishes described by mothers for their sons (and by this mother here) is for someone who will cook, clean, obey, shut up and be pretty. Pass.

    Torn. I think I may be with The Cruel Secretary in part. I mean, of course they want to expose racism – but in the service of exposing their advertisers to a larger viewing audience. What I heard from Khalood didn’t surprise me much. It’s the kind of thing I expect to hear on multi-racial “dating” reality shows but that I’m sure is edited out to keep storylines streamlined and “characters” “sympathetic.”

    I’d be surprised if every season of The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Rock of Love etc. etc. didn’t have a Khalood.

    P.S. I love Miss Macon Megan.

  4. DivergentDana wrote:

    “I appreciate the sentiment “respect your elders” as much as the next guy, but is a date with a 21-year-old college hockey player worth swallowing that much pride?”

    Especially since, as I discussed with my mother yesterday while she was half-heartedly watching ‘The Bachelor’, the black contestant NEVER wins these things. There’s usually at least one, and she usually makes it through the first round, but after that, she’s typically gone. This stands even in the VH1 dating show travesties/parodies, whenever the person whose affection the contestants are vying for isn’t black.

  5. Renee wrote:

    I watched the first episode of this and quickly regretted the time I had given it. Seacrest is pandering by allowing this garbage on the air.

  6. Monie wrote:

    DivergentDana,

    Black women are just on these shows as reality show seat fillers. They know they aren’t going to win and the audience knows they aren’t going to win.

    I think Black women go on despite having no chance of winning because that’s not their goal. Their goal is just getting exposure. Most are actresses/ singers, etc.

    Unfortunately many of these women are willing to play stereotypes to get on the show. That’s when it really becomes problematic.

  7. Cynthia wrote:

    I’ve seen one episode of this. Very trashy! It makes the Bachelor/ette look “nice.” Anyway, regarding Khalood: Is it possible that she’s a Catholic Iraqi, and raised that way (rather than converting)?

    Also, WTF is a 20-something guy called Jo Jo?

  8. Brigitte wrote:

    I could only get through about ten minutes of this show. Even though I watch a lot of reality TV, I had to draw the line somewhere.

    I love how, unlike other dating shows with white “bachelors”, they stocked this one with more than one token black woman. I guess they wanted to increase the odds that one of them would go off on the racist mom. They must not have trusted the Asian and Latina contestants.

    Until this show, I had no idea it was possible to be disappointed in a tool like Ryan Seacrest.

  9. Ailurophile wrote:

    And for the love of all deities, why are all these women – of color and otherwise – subjecting themselves to being “judged” by this collection of creepy-ass mothers and douche-tastic dudes? Tell me, dear readers, for I am a well and truly stumped geek.

    Mindless, abject pursuit of fame seems the most likely reason. Whether they’re in the entertainment biz (as Monie surmises) or simply Want! To! Be! On! TeeVee! This sort of thing, btw, knows no boundaries of race, gender, sexual orientation or anything else.

    Also there are people who think that their relationship problems are somehow going to magically disappear once they’re married (not always women). Of course they are in for a rude shock.

  10. G.K. wrote:

    @Tamara

    Khalood lives in Washington Township, which is NOWHERE near the city of Detroit—the farther out you get form the D, the more lily-white the surrounding towns and townships are (even though that has been changing somewhat in the past 10 years or so). Anyway, what trips me out is that years ago she wouldn’t have been considered “white” enough to marry her husband because she’s Arab. Apparently, she thinks she’s “white” enough to dog out everyone else who ain’t “white” enough for her. I, for one, would have told her that she’s just a damn flat-out racist, and looking at the list of women she dosen’t want her son to be with, he might as well never get married, because NO woman is ever gonna live up to her standards. I saw the episode last week where she spied on her son—now I’m sure that was planned as a ratings grabber–but what the hell did she expect to find her son doing in the pool? I mean, duh!! Her son needs to move out and get his own life—she and the other mother struck me as being way too involved in their sons’ personal lives.

  11. Tj wrote:

    I don’t understand why black women put themselves through reality shows like these – they are often ignorned or mis-represented. They can’t be doing it for the publicity because they get so little airtime/attention. I saw a clip of this show on Chelsea Lately and I was in shock. I can’t believe the black girls didn’t just walk off the set . . . who wants an openly racist “potential” mother in-law?!

    I hope someone does/posts a review of the last episode of the Rock Of Love Bus, it was another jaw droping race moment. “My grandfather is a beautful black man” is the new “my best friend is black”.

  12. Bean421 wrote:

    I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve watched every episode of this trainwreck. Mrs. B is horrible and definately being used for ratings, but the one who has really bothered me is Esther. She is Jewish and Camilla is in the finals for her son. Esther maintains that she wants her son to marry a woman of their faith, which I totally respect. However, I am uncomfortable with the disrespect that she shows Camilla. She admitted last night that it was because of her race as there were other non-Jewish women who, “would fit better in our culture.” I guess it’s true about the devil you don’t know being worse than the devil you know.

  13. Ugly Deaf Muslim Punk Gurl! wrote:

    Meh, everyone has racist parents, it’s hardly shocking. My dad hates Arabs (even though we are Muslim), Blacks (yes, even Black Muslims), and Jews.

    It’s embarrassing as hell.

  14. Joseph wrote:

    @ Cynthia
    “Is it possible that she’s a Catholic Iraqi, and raised that way (rather than converting)?”

    Yup.

    There are populations of Coptic Christians, Eastern Orthodox Christians, and Maronite Catholics in the Middle East. There are also smaller groups of protestants (for e.g. I have seen an Arabic Lutheran church in Brooklyn). It is entirely possible that Khalood’s family transitioned into the Roman Catholic Church once they came to America and she considers herself an RC.

    @ Lisa J
    “how can someone from a country that is predominantly Muslim distinctly not want her son to marry a Muslim but then gets mad that no one prepares a dish from that predominately Muslim country for some challenge? Weird, weird, weird. I know that there are non-Muslims there and obviously she is one of them but are they generally so anti-Muslim?”

    Yup.

    There are Christians all over the Levant (that is, the chunk of the ME that includes Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, Palestine: the Mediterranean countries). I am not sure what the situation is like in Iraq and Iran but I do know they are more diverse than you might think. For example both have historically very strong Jewish communities. (Many of those Jews immigrated to Israel–but some remain. There is an active Synagogue in Iran, although you would never know it from American news coverage) Similarly many ME Christians (like my family) came to America.

    Once they became Americans they learned–like African Americans before them–that Christianity was their avenue to mainstream power. Some (not all…some) Arab Christians imagine themselves to be “Whiter” and less Arab than their Muslim counterparts. Is her prejudice (although indefensible) really any weirder than African American prejudice against native Africans and some of their cultural expressions? Both are rooted in the idea that anything Christian/Western is inherently better.

  15. Cynthia wrote:

    @Joseph: Thanks. Also, Khalood’s married name is Polish, so she could have transitioned/converted to RC when she married.

  16. The Cruel Secretary wrote:

    @Cynthia–I feel you on JoJo’s name, but could “JoJo” also be a nickname that he can’t seem to divest himself of? Just a thought…

    @everyone–yeah, Ryan Seacrest needs to pay my medical bill from my ears and eyes bleeding from beholding this ish.>:P Like I said to Arturo–and I must have been in a generous mood when I said it–perhaps Seacrest & Co. thought, by featuring Khalood, they were adding to the conversation about race in the Obama era. (Please note I didn’t call it “post-racial America” or even a “post-racial American conversation/confab/conference/coffeeklatch/what-have-you.”) What I find eye-rolling problematic about what I’ve seen is how the “MB” creative staff portray Khalood as The Neo-Loudmouth American Racist, like Samuel L. Jackson’s character in Lakeview Terrace. Instead of a voice-over saying that Khalood expresses sentiments that quite a few people in the US hold, regardless of race or ethnicity, it’s just her viewpoints that are “disturbing,” as if she’s the living vestige of “those” attitude that “everyone else” have gotten over. Her outspoken racism instantly makes her an othered someone whom we can tsk-tsk and express horror at. And I wonder if the fact that she’s an Arab American woman who emigrated from Iraq also adds to the creatives framing her as someone who’s “ignorant” of the “polite American” ways.

    I’m not saying that what Khalood is saying isn’t atrocious–it is and it should be addressed, though not by poisoning her dog. (WTF?) I’m just a bit skeptical of Khalood being the “villian” in all of this when what she’s saying is no worse than what many people think and act upon in daily interactions with other people of various races and ethnicities, regardless of their political philosophies.

    Also, my eyes also roll with the mother-in-law/chosen female partner conflict. It’s soooooo tired.

  17. Tamara wrote:

    GK: Thanks for clearing that up. I’ve only been to the “D” once before, and that was primarily in the downtown area.

    Bean421: You are so right about Esther! She tried to cover up her feelings about Camilla by clinging to culture, which is fine, but none of the other girls are Jewish. It’s ironic that after the horrific discrimination her parents and in-laws went through, she’s going to turn around and discriminate against someone else. It’s just like when Black folks try to discriminate against others, even though we’re discriminated against daily.

    You can’t compare the Holocaust to this show, of course. Not by any means. However, I would hope that her connection to that history would give her some type of empathy with other cultures.

  18. Tamara wrote:

    I also want to say that any woman worth a damn would be running for the hills if she encountered one of these women. I hope they realize that their sons will NEVER get married as long as they continue to meddle. A grown ass woman with a dose of common sense will NOT put up with this crap.

    Perhaps this show touches a cord with me because I had to put up with somebody’s triflin’ mama for 2+ years. Never again!

  19. Casual Observer wrote:

    What happened to my post??

    Mod Note – See comment moderation policy #3. Personal attacks extend to the subject of the post. – LDP

  20. 9jah wrote:

    So the mom is so clearly a plant…I mean even in bigotville who is so open about racism? She’s an actor.

    My question is when are we going to start putting the press on producers and show creators regarding casting or shooting in a way that perpetuates stereotypes???

    i mean really, we had to find the black girl who does not mind screaming bitch on T.V., alogn with the neck twisting girl? How about the vulnerable, emotional Asian or the attitute sportin’ black/hispanic girl who all but said blondes are dumb?

  21. Eva wrote:

    These boys will never get married until their mothers die.

  22. Casual Observer wrote:

    Personal attacks? Was it because I called her a bitch? Seriously. Because if that’s a personal attack then what ARE we allowed to say if not our feelings?
    I see someone called her trifling
    Someone else called her horrible. So is it limited to obscenities? Asking this respectfully.

    Mod Note – Yep. We normally drop the things you can’t say on the radio, especially when you direct it at their person. (Don’t forget, people tend to come back about two months later and yell about what we said about them. See: Soledad O’Brien, that GQ writer we criticized about Harold and Kumar, the woman who campaigned against black history month.) So, cursing, in general is fine. Cursing in a description (i.e. “Off course they had to make sure the black girl lives up to the stereotype by calling someone a bitch”) is also fine – but don’t directly *call* someone that. Find another word. There are many. We even delete self-depreciating slurs. So, in essence don’t directly insult someone else (even if the subject of the post is as over the top as Arturo describes) but other than that, cursing is a-Ok. -LDP

  23. Casual Observer wrote:

    If that’s the case then how about this.

    Her behavior is horrible and trifling. Her BEHAVIOR is appalling and her BEHAVIOR sickens me. Her WORDS make bile form in my mouth.
    If I was one of those Black girls I would have walked out and then if the company tried to pull some breech of contract bull then I would sue them for condoning and exacerbating racism on television. Maybe someone should have said something to her being Iraqi…or is she so whitewashed that she believes she’s now white? I guess what’s good for the goose isn’t good for the gander. I hope her son marries JUST the kind of woman she deserves.

  24. Asada wrote:

    ooh man!

    I can remember the day when I realized my accomplishments wouldn’t save me .
    I don’t think Ms. Vita Alexander has realized this yet.
    It’s great she’s all those things but what does that have to do with her love life? Unless he gets a thrill out of critical care nurses …or something….

    oh yes, can someone explain exactly WHAT is so appealing about a mama’s boy? I though ya’ll wanted independent men and now this?

  25. Lisa J wrote:

    @Joseph, thanks for the background and the perspective. I agree, it is no more weird than other similar or internal group discrimination.

  26. A.D. Nix wrote:

    @ ojah: Hilariously,* I’ve had people be that “open” to my face. My black face. About blacks! Plenty of people think that if you aren’t a professional racist or have racism as a serious hobby, a racist you are not. Although I can’t imagine Khalood would resist (proudly!) identifying as a racist

    She may be turning it up for TV (as they’re all turning things up) but I think she’s keeping it relatively “real.”

    @ Eva: Aw, I hope that’s not true. But you killed me with that one. Through laughter.

    * Also: sadly.

  27. Casual Observer wrote:

    Understood moderator. Thanks for taking the time to explain to me. Will be more conscious in the future. :)

  28. Ree wrote:

    I am actually suprised that this show is still on and people are talking about it. I watch 5 or so minutes before feeling like someone was playing a horrible joke on me. She actually said she had black friends and I thought “not after they see this, honey”.

    As an aside, I can’t stand any of those dating shows. Why can’t people meet in bars, like the good old days?

  29. leslie wrote:

    This show is bad, but I don’t have cable and its funny. Next Week is gonna be good because crazy lady forces her son Jojo to choose between her and his lady love. The other two guys have to choose between girls, but crazy lady refused to do her motherly duty and pick a girl that she likes for her boy. She cried, he looked mortified. And another mother decided that the girl her son fell for wasn’t good enough. She made him dump her because she was trashy. Here is the funny part, the girl she picked for him is the Penthouse Pet of the Year 2008, she’s revealing this fact on monday. The son looked so disgusted, and mom, she cried. Love It!

  30. derry wrote:

    I find two things interesting about the mother’s preferences: that she didn’t exclude Latinas and that she did exclude Asians.

    I thought many American xenophobes considered hating Latinas a badge of honor. I know anti-immigrant (which often turns into anti-Latina) sentiment isn’t as prominent as it was a few years ago, but I’m surprised that the mother doesn’t mind if her son dates a Latina woman.

    On the flip side, I’ve noticed this tendency among some Whites (and I’m guessing this woman sees herself as White in some way) to consider being Asian the closest/next best thing to being White. It’s obvious when you read anything on adoption, and this belief isn’t exclusive to hardcore bigots. You can probably blame it on the model minority myth. Therefore, I’m a little surprised this woman doesn’t want her son dating Asians.

    Can anyone patient enough to actually watch the show shed some light? Has she badmouthed Latinas anyway or explained why she doesn’t like Asians? Is there something demographic about her area of Michigan that would explain this? I know that racists don’t operate with logic, but I’m curious as to why her prejudices don’t really line up with our country’s racial hierarchy.

    I thought that religious bigotry might partly be informing her prejudices (after all, there are many Catholic Latinas and not many Asian-American Catholics). But, based on the list in the original post, the mother doesn’t mind Protestants; there are many Asian-American Protestants.

    Did she announce her prejudices before she met the women or after? If after, it could just mean that she didn’t see the sole Latina as much of a threat to win (not that she wouldn’t mind her son ending up with a Latina).

    ***I just wanted to clarify that I’m not a xenophobe like the woman from “Momma’s Boys,” and I certainly don’t share her views. Being Black, I wouldn’t be good enough for her anyway! I don’t think any of my above speculation is “logical,” either. I don’t think she should like Asians while despising Latinas. I’ve just never really come across any racists whose biases didn’t mirror this country’s racial hierarchy (where Asians are generally considered more acceptable than other ethnic minorities).

    I’m also not saying racists have no problems with Asians. I’d wager that many racists hate all non-Whites. I’ve just never come across a White bigot who liked Latinas but hated Asian-Americans or liked African-Americans but hated Asian-Americans.

  31. mute wrote:

    @ bean421 and tamara

    esther is troubling me as well, though i also sympathize with her desire to preserve culture. i know that this is trash tv (that i’ve only watched a little of, i swear!), but i still think its sad to see this part of her revealed. in the first episode she came off as the really loving. open mother. but now…

    it seemed like esther’s son was the most open to dating interracially. either that, or the black women on the show were most open to a jewish man. on the first episode, there was one scene where each and everyone of them was surrounding him as he introduced himself. there was no similar gathering around any of the other men.

  32. Whitney wrote:

    I’m actually kind of glad that they gave her this kind of exposure, in a way, it is opening the viewers’ eyes that racism still does exist, but at the same time, it’s the wrong venue. These people do not deserve to have on-air TV time. They don’t deserve any attention. What they need is to learn. Which they probably won’t do.

    I just hope her son sees her for what she is. If my mother behaved like that, you bet your butt I’d never speak to her ever again. And ESPECIALLY if it was on national TV!

    I ain’t no skinny woman, but did anyone else find it ironic that she didn’t want her son to date a fat woman?

    <>

    Can I just say, Arturo, that you’re my own personal hero right now?

  33. bradski wrote:

    @Derry,

    Latinas come in all races. Therefore, why would you Mrs B. criticize Latinas in general when she specified that she only wanted someone white for her son? There are plenty of white Latinas (Cameron Diaz, etc.).

  34. fredMS wrote:

    even if you were a white woman on this show, wouldn’t this put you off from trying to be a part of this dude’s family?

  35. maggie wrote:

    i don’t know if i agree that such broadcast displays of ridiculous racism have any value whatsoever. admittedly, i can’t live without a hefty dose of trash-ass TV each week (i believe a previous commenter has already mentioned a certain Rock of Love bus that lays claim to a sweet, sweet place in my heart), but…when a lot of white people (or any less-than-informed people) see this kind of stuff it’s basically reinforcing a dangerously simplified view of the definition/manifestation of racism. such a concept of what racism looks like only serves to allow anyone who ISN’T going to physically gag at the sight of their son dating a black woman feel confirmed in their cushy confidence that they therefore could not harbor racist views, and could never ever be racists themselves.

    it’s the same kind of understanding of racism that has led to declarations of post-racialism in the wake of the presidential election. “oh, the country elected a black dude? well, we can’t be all that racist, now can we?” “hmm, i didn’t vomit at the sight of my child’s interracial relationship…damn, i’m multi-culti.” shit like Mrs. B on “Momma’s Boy” only reinforces such notions — and pats white people on the back for not being THAT kind of racist.

  36. elle wrote:

    I’m not surprised by these sentiments. At least she’s honest. I’d rather someone come out and hate my ass because of my color than lie to me and pretend to be “colorblind”. What I don’t understand is how could any of the women of color on the show just didn’t walk out right then and there.
    Arturo R. García:
    And for the love of all deities, why are all these women – of color and otherwise – subjecting themselves to being “judged” by this collection of creepy-ass mothers and douche-tastic dudes? Tell me, dear readers, for I am a well and truly stumped geek.

    Don’t any of them realize that there’s a chance many of Mrs. B’s sentiments could have washed off on her sonny Jojo and he’s just hiding them? Don’t you realize that even if you win, your going to have to put up with his mom?But like another poster said, their just there for the instant fame, and fame is one of the most powerful drugs in the U.S., certainly more powerful than integrity and dignity.

    Also, who are these people that watch these bachelor/bachelorette shows? I can understand why people watch reality tv like Fear Factor and Big Brother, for the schadenfruede, I know I do, but to see a group self-absorbed jerks fight over a single narcissistic jerk is boring.

  37. DivergentDana wrote:

    “Therefore, I’m a little surprised this woman doesn’t want her son dating Asians.”

    It may be based on the appearance that she’d be most comfortable with her grandchildren having… or perhaps she’s just had exceedingly positive dealings with Latinos in the past.

  38. stella wrote:

    First off, I never understood how someone could realistically expect to find love on a reality show. Secondly, if I were to suspend my disbelief and apply to be a contestant (or whatever the hell you call it) I wouldn’t pick a show called “Momma’s Boy.” Lastly, why in the hell would anyone apply to be on Rock of Love, let alone black women. At this point VH1 needs to punk Brett Micheals and just hire trannies to be his potential mates because he’s obviously not having any luck with women.

  39. Lxy wrote:

    So I take it from this review that _Momma’s Boys_ is not exactly Must See TV.

    But then again, that probably could have been foreseen by anyone who saw the name “Ryan Seacrest” attached to this program.

  40. Ron wrote:

    @ derry -

    My gut feeling as to why she excludes Asians and not Latinas is because Northern Iraqis are more racially close to Latinos than East Asians. Some groups can be considered the genetic father or mother of other groups. Arabs – Southern Europeans and people close to the Mediteranean Sea have close affinity.

    I am saddened that the BM take this show so seriously.

    Iraq has its own racial and ethnic problems so if you combine that with existing racial dynamics in America then you have an explosive mixture. So, I would think it should not be suprising that Ms. B and the other mothers hold these views about IR marriage and dating.

    It is common knowledge that historically IR couples had to live and be accepted by the black community. It is only within the last 25 years or so that IR couples lived among non-blacks on a large scale. So acceptance of IR have been historically one-sided. This is the reason why it has been a higher percentage of people self-identifying with their black side rather than their white side.

    I think people like to ignore this painful historical context to fit their present worldview.

  41. newbein wrote:

    When the racist remarks were being uttered, some of the white contestants just sat back with smug looks on their faces. They never challenged the racist remarks or consoled those being disparaged. They were complicit in their silence.

  42. Cynthia wrote:

    Newbein, I wouldn’t challenge anyone either, especially someone I don’t know. You don’t know what they might do to you or what kind of connections they have. I might say something if it was a friend or if I were in a situation I was more comfortable in. Most people are like that. Just a thought.

  43. bdsista wrote:

    I looked at the website and it was sad to see all the Asians and Latinas and most of the Black eliminated as well as most of the girls/women who seemed to be intelligent. Never watched it. Never will.

  44. DivergentDana wrote:

    “At this point VH1 needs to punk Brett Micheals and just hire trannies to be his potential mates because he’s obviously not having any luck with women.”

    Ah, if they’re M-to-F, then they consider themselves to be women.

  45. thebiblophile wrote:

    I wonder: When one considers the statistics around Black womyn and marriage, namely that only 1 in 4 Black womyn is married by the age of 40, are Black womyn are removed from the “competition of mating,” often because of stereotypes and deeply embedded racism – being propagated by often by other (predominantly white) womyn? This is where superficially – and in all the wrong ways, we can see “feminism is to lavender, as womynism is to purple.” Sure by the end of Mrs. B’s rant everyone is upset – but no one leaves the competition, none of the white womyn featured on camera decide to boycott or confront Mrs. B, in fact it’s only the womyn of color, whom Mrs. B has dehumanized most forcefully, who ultimately end up engaging with her most frequently. Ironically, it is Black womyn whom Mrs. B cries to and with. The other mothers, even caring mothering Esther, whom Mrs. B blatantly dismissed with her “not a Jewish one” do nothing to confront her. Though in the case of Esther, and considering her recent behavior, perhaps she thought: “Yes! All the Jewish womyn are for my Robbie.” But even if the other mothers wouldn’t address a personal offense, neither did Lorraine or Esther assuage the hurt feelings of the womyn of color.

    I recognize, on a show of this very low low caliber, such solidarity is a tall order; nevertheless, as a microcosm of deeply immature people, one must wonder: in the arena of sexual politics, is the lack of solidarity yet another example of ways in which womyn of color and white womyn are divided by racialized sexism/sexualized racism? In other words, in the competition for sexual attention, equity, and access to mates, in which all people ultimately compete on some level, are womyn of color disenfranchised because of the way that desire is politicized?

    A sister’s just wondering….http://thebibliophile.wordpress.com/

  46. bradski wrote:

    Iraqis are not Arabs; they are Persians.

  47. Bagelsan wrote:

    At this point VH1 needs to punk Brett Micheals and just hire trannies to be his potential mates because he’s obviously not having any luck with women.

    Easy on the “trannie” thing, k?

  48. *Rachel wrote:

    If the girls are gonna get that upset over it why are they on the show? Granted probably to get 15 minutes of fame, but really! If I was on that show I would’ve cried too when Mrs. B said all that and then realized, “Why the hell am I here? There’s a million other guys without the sexist/hateful mom baggage!”

  49. derry wrote:

    bradski, Ron, and DivergentDana, I appreciate all of your responses.

    bradski, you brought up an excellent point. I realize that there are White Latinas, and I should have mentioned that in my post. The mother is such an out-and-out bigot, it just never occured to me that she might be okay with her son dating a blonde Latina like Cameron Diaz.

  50. Lisa J wrote:

    @Bradski, I’m not expert but I’m pretty sure Iraqis are Arabs. Iranians aren’t Arabs and are Persian, I think you might be confusing the two groups.

  51. toots wrote:

    “how can someone from a country that is predominantly Muslim distinctly not want her son to marry a Muslim but then gets mad that no one prepares a dish from that predominately Muslim country for some challenge? Weird, weird, weird. I know that there are non-Muslims there and obviously she is one of them but are they generally so anti-Muslim?”

    Speaking as a copt here who would personally never marry a muslim, arab christians don’t marry muslims because arab christians believe that the bible forbids them from marrying anyone who is not christian, whether man or woman. You’ll find the same interpretation regarding marrying nonchristians thoughout the orthodox christian world as well as some of the more staunchly catholic areas .
    In the same way that muslim women aren’t supposed to marry men who are not muslim.

    It doesn’t really have to do with being anti muslim just like a muslim woman who won’t marry a christian is not “antichristian”.

  52. nonogirl wrote:

    Gasp! A non-white person who is racist???? Why, I never! Sadly, some of my most hurtful encounters here in NYC have been with other POC who have targeted me esp b.c of my race. (EG, a nice, loudly pronounced racial slur while they commit whatever petty assault on me). Anyways, here are two ideas as to the mom hates Asians but not Latinas. 1. She hates Asians, ha. and 2. The network producers told her to say this in hopes that they would garner higher ratings since there are probably more people here of Latin descent than Asian, though we are over 14 MILLION strong (US Census 2005?) not to mention all the bi and multi racials. However, most of my Asian friends watch American networks but, most of my Latino/Latina friends watch Spanish-language stations, sooooo the network execs are sorely mistaken. Where did our ratings go??? Ha! Insult us ?minorities” and this is what happens.

  53. Eric Daniels wrote:

    I like Khalood’s honesty and the BW and AW women who are whinning and crying welcome to the real world !!! Khalood’s attitude is that of the majority of White Americans when it comes to IR dating and to me the fact that she’s not wearing a “racial mask” to hide her discomfort is refreshing in this P.C. world of lies and BS. So What NBC and Ryan Secrest milked Khalood’s racial,religious, and sexist attitudes for the world to see, remember people like that were the ones sending death threats to Obama and his family so you expect the media not to milk this? Khalood is going to be gold for Mama’s Boys.

    And how much money is worth the humilation for these ladies I quess not much in this post- racial world.

  54. George wrote:

    “I like Khalood’s honesty and the BW and AW women who are whinning and crying welcome to the real world !!! Khalood’s attitude is that of the majority of White Americans when it comes to IR dating and to me the fact that she’s not wearing a “racial mask” to hide her discomfort is refreshing in this P.C. world of lies and BS. ”

    I agree that majority of white Americans, particularly white American women would touch an animal (cow, horse etc.) before they touch a non-white human skin. No arguments there. But Khalood is NOT WHITE! And I am sure many white Americans have the same attitude towards her!