Hosted By Special Correspondent Arturo R. García
Heroes pulled off something rare for its’ fall finale, ending its’ third storyarc with both a bang and a whimper. How bad was it? Your friendly neighborhood Roundtable members were warning me about it before it even aired on the west coast. Take this message, for instance, from Mahsino: “I just finished watching it the ‘superior way’ an hour and a half ago … um, yeah.”
Suffice to say, the episode ended up being everything she had me expecting – and less. On the bright side, it gave us a lot to talk about in our final installment of the fall, including:
* The general sense of disarray that undermined the conclusion to Volume III, “Dual”
* Our predictions for Volume IV, the much-ballyhooed “Fugitives”
* Ando’s new power and its’ potential beauty secrets
* The continuing misadventures of everybody’s favorite misfit of science, Mohinder
Arturo: Ok, here’s the thing: I got a couple of e-mails Monday night [about the episode] that didn’t sound too enthused, but I thought, “naah, it can’t be that bad.” I’m never doubting any of you *ever again*
Mahsino: if i could sum it up in one word, it would have been: meh
Erica: That’s absolutely the right word.
Clara: My short summary of the episode: eye-roll.
Arturo: I mean, even last year’s finale was sorta cool.
Mahsino: Classic Heroes: characters of color die so that whiter, blonder, prettier characters may live.
Erica: It felt more like a “ok, we’ll just ignore all this volume and start over,” instead of the desired “exciting finale!”
Erica: Knox! Hey, how ya doin’, nice to see you again and learn more about your char—- oh… never mind.
Mahsino: I could understand him getting killed by, say, Hiro, Ando, hell even Suresh, any character of color just to prove to me that the Heroes crew are aware of the blatant racism shown in the killing of characters.
Clara: I was miffed at Ando’s ability. Somebody put it well in your recap: his power basically just reinforced his sidekick role, and even without Hiro, Ando is now just a tool for everyone else.
Erica: As long as Ando and Hiro stay together, the ability really just reinforces their relationship (superhero, sidekick).
Clara: It’s like Ando is a makeup applicator. “Hey Ando, make me look cooler”
Mahsino: How come Peter got the power he wished for, but Ando got the sidekick power? That’s the only problem i had with it.
Erica: I think Peter’s power was simply restored, whereas Ando’s was brand new.
Arturo: Yeah, Peter was rebooting and happened to be near Nathan, so that’s sorta plausible.
Clara: Ando’s power depends on somebody else’s power basically. Like, if Ando spent his life around people without powers… his powers wouldn’t do anything.
Erica: But for that to hold up you have to get into the “science” of all this fiction, which is pretty dubious on Heroes. They’re always happy to ignore their own facts when convenient.
Mahsino: Hopefully they’ll continue to rip off off X-Men so their powers can evolve.
Clara: Yeah I’m still waiting to see if the show will make his power something cool
Arturo: I dunno, he might fix somebody’s hair up: Ando! I need highlights!
Erica: Bwahaha … Super Stylist!
Clara: HAHA — we just need a hero with hair-styling powers. They can pull a Rogue, with the white highlights.
Erica: That’s all we need – Peter with a white streak.
Mahsino: Whoever does Sylar’s hair, that sh-t stays in place.
Arturo: One of [the Heroes] would turn evil when Ando’s power turns their hair into a mullet.
Mahsino: Or a rat tail.
Erica: Whoever does Sylar’s EYEBROWS …
Arturo: I think Sy’s eyebrows keep the other hairs in check.
Mahsino: Um, how did Nathan get an audience with the president, it’s not like he’s in office long enough to make any policies that would make him useful.
Erica: I can’t figure out why they had to have that super-important meeting in a CAR. The President has an OFFICE, you know.
Clara: The Pres is going to want powers, too, I’ll bet. And then Nathan will be like, “No,” which will make Mr. President hate “special” people more.
Arturo: And then the Pres will be like, “Today IS a good day to kick your ass.”
Erica: The Big 3 will be pleased to know the nation’s important decisions are made in automobiles.
Erica: I can’t bring myself to care about Nathan/Peter, because they’re so completely inconsistent and boring.
Mahsino: I can’t even pretend to care about Peter.
Arturo: The thing with Nate is, he shifted so quickly.
Clara: “You broke my heart, Peter” — more whining.
Mahsino: In regards to President Worf ([after] child Mahsino geeked the f-ck out): More evil negroes – SUPER! Way to fill the negro quotient. Make him the genocidal leader that spearheads the decimation of several “innocent people” based on their genetic makeup.
Clara: Yeah, seriously.
Arturo: See, I think Worf will be let off the hook. Something will happen, like Clara said, to set Nathan and he against each other.
Erica: I don’t expect him to have a very big role.
Mahsino: He better.
Erica: President Worf is a convenient plot device, much like Psychic Usutu or The Haitian.
Clara: He’ll probably be Nathan’s pawn.
Mahsino: Not that science is useless, but in regards to Heroes, it hasn’t exactly served Mohinder well.
Arturo: Mo’s just about bottomed out at this point.
Erica: Mohinder doesn’t do science. I don’t know what he does, but that sh-t ain’t science.
Clara: He does that crazy hope thing.
Mahsino: He researches, or at least says he does.
Arturo: “Mo, could you boil some water?” “MY CALCULATIONS AREN’T COMING OUT RIGHT!”
Erica: “I need a catalyst!”
Clara: “I must test it on myself first!”
Erica: Then he injects himself with a stove.
Clara: Argh, he’s probably going to try to recreate the formula in the next story.
Arturo: But for whom? Tracy got fired, so she’s an x-factor now, I gotta think.
Clara: To heal himself.
Arturo: I thought he got healed when he got slimed.
Clara: I thought so too, but I thought I saw another bug mark on his face when he sat down [with Tracy.]
Mahsino: And he and Tracy are going to sell it, a la meth lab.
Erica: Of course he’ll recreate the formula – I was annoyed when Hiro ripped it into small pieces IN MOHINDER’S LAB. So it might take a day to put the pieces together instead of two seconds.
Clara: Maybe the President will want it for his Secret Service guys.
Erica: Since Mohinder got slimed, he should be “pure” bugman, not “diseased” bugman.
Arturo: Yes! More Spider-Mo jokes!
Arturo: Ok, predictions for the next volume!
Clara: Ooh, I love making predictions! Claire becomes more and more estranged from HRG, and her hair color suspiciously starts getting darker.
Mahsino: More magical minorities and ambiguous geography.
Erica: The general theory is that they’re supposed to be hiding in “real life,” right?
Clara: Nathan will fly up to Peter and give him ONE. LAST. CHANCE, as well as ONE. LAST. speech about being brothers yadda-yadda.
Erica: Nathan will definitely point out that he really loves Peter, in that speech.
Clara: And then he’ll say, “You made hte wrong decision, Peter, I’m sorry,” and fly off.
Mahsino: Claire flunks high school due to excessive truancy.
Arturo: My guess? Pinehearst will become a gov’t tool headed by Nate. Joining him will be Angela, HRG & The Haitian.
Erica: The Haitian will open a windchime shop.
Mahsino: Tracy will manipulate Mohinder.
Clara: Ando will start experimenting with his powers. He will be called Lipstick Man, and eventually will start regretting pumping the formula into himself.
Arturo: And thank you for that image.
Erica: Hmm … how is Hiro going to be a fugitive if he goes back to Japan?
Mahsino: The Haitian, fed up with all the inter-family drama, will proclaim, “This is some bullsh-t and go chill “somewhere in Haiti.”
Clara: Usutu will show up in Haiti and be right at home, because black people from Haiti are also African because they are black, clearly!
Arturo: Sylar will finally meet his dad — a hippie living in a commune in upstate NY.
Mahsino: Angela will take the senate seat left void by HRC.
Clara: Matt will start angsting about his relationship with Daphne and turn to Usutu for relationship advice.
Arturo: And Usutu will say, “WTF do I look like, Dr. Phil?”
Mahsino: And Matt’ll go, “No, you look like my magical black friend.”
Erica: Daphne will get jealous of Matt’s presence to talk to his turtle instead of her.
Clara: Somebody MYSTERIOUS will remove the glass from Sylar’s head, reviving him.
Erica: Sylar fell through a plot hole in the floor.
Mahsino: A brunette girl, who he will then kill. Or an unsuspecting Monica.
Arturo: It’ll be Barbara!
Erica: Oh please no, not Barbara – not another blonde annoyance!
Arturo: No, Barbara will be brunette – that changes everything!
And on that groaner of a note, we bid you adieu for now. Thanks to all the members of the Roundtable, including Hexy and Robin, who couldn’t make it for our chat, unfortunately. And thanks to everyone who’s been reading us all fall. We’ll see you in February … unless the show gets canceled, that is.