Waking Up in “Post-Racial” America

But more so than that, New Year’s Day always symbolizes reflection to me. It’s a day I normally take for myself, thinking, journaling, doing yoga, having a chill brunch with friends – and figuring out where the hell to go from here.

The Obama New Year was no different. I peeled myself out of bed and headed uptown to grab some Japanese food. Sipping on some miso to soothe my throat, I wondered why my mood was so muted when everyone else was so happy.

I realized then I was just drained.

The primary season had been brutal and a lot of former friends and supposed allies were no more, having said, done, or justified hurtful things as in keeping with the course of politics. Moderating this blog was a hell of a challenge as well, trying to keep the blog from being consumed with political coverage when the election was dominating the airwaves, and trying to moderate threads with so much hate and vitriol was being spewed from all corners. All told, there were a lot of long time commenters I banned from this space, a lot of blogs I don’t frequent anymore, and a lot of people who emailed in to complain about whatever way they thought we failed them politically.

More than that, it was kind of a strange moment to have talked about race for the last two years, and to suddenly have the MSM discover the topic like it was brand new. It was just jarring to see the people they found to opine on the real meaning of race seconds after the election was announced, and how quickly the post-racial mantle was assumed by members of the press.

But it wasn’t just the press. I received phone calls, texts, and emails from my more conservative leaning black friends, excitedly indicating that an Obama presidency meant “no more excuses” – here it was, definitive proof that blacks could do anything we set our minds to, so it was now time to drop all other discussions of other factors.

And I got some other calls and messages as well.

My best friend emailed me telling me she was thinking about quitting her church. Apparently, the ideological rift between Obama and McCain supporters had grown so much, she was no longer comfortable there. For her, this is a major decision – the place she mentioned has been her church home for almost five years. While the pastors gave many sermons denouncing partisanship and asking people to look towards God, the atmosphere in the church was such that this message was not heeded.

My girl Erica González also dropped me an email. Recently, when I was in NYC, she took me out to one of her favorite spots in Spanish Harlem to watch the debates. We hadn’t had a chance to catch up since then, so I was glad to hear from her. But apparently, this heaviness was weighing on her as well:

The day before the election

I was on the No. 5 express train when a black man, frail and hunched over, cheeks sunken, began singing that heart-wrenching Sam Cooke melody, “A Change is Gonna Come.”

I was born by the river in a little tent

And just like the river, I’ve been running ever since

It’s been a long time coming

But I know a change is gonna come

That brought images from the film “Malcolm X” to mind. Towards the end, a somber Malcolm, played by Denzel Washington, begins his death march, gliding towards what will be his assassination, as Cooke’s voice belts out “I was born by the river….”

My eyes began to tear for another reason.

“A Change is Gonna Come” was one of the songs that my family used to listen to off an eight-track of Cooke’s greatest hits. We would also look forward to the track player jumping to “We’re having a party” and lifting us out of that heavy ballad.

So there was a very personal sentiment that this man’s singing touched. There was also a political one. He was singing 24 hours before people would begin flocking to the polls and ultimately elect Barack Obama, a black man, president of the United States.

Yet there was more to this as the man singing made his way through the train car, receiving coins along the way.

Obama’s victory, I thought to myself, would be huge. But here, another black man, homeless and probably isolated, was before me to remind me of all that waited to be overcome.

A day after that, I got an email from reader Taylor, who wrote:

Something interesting happened to me today… an old co-worker (white, female, mid 40′s who lives in rural northwest minnesota) txt’d me a joke about hallmark coming out with an obama ornament for christmas this year… i’m sure you can complete the punchline yourselves.

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