Shame on You: Shame Cartoons
by Guest Contributor Ethar El-Katatney, originally published at Muslimah Media Watch.
They’re popping up everywhere in harmless-looking packaging: shame cartoons.
A quick search online will turn up a multitude of articles, op-eds and full-on rants appealing to women’s sense of shame (One particularly delightful article was titled “I appeal to your sense of shame my Muslim sister.”)
And then we have cartoons.
The first kind are pretty straightforward: they want you to get veiled. But rather than engage you in discussions about interpretation of hadith or Qur’an, they try and shame you into wearing it.
As expected, most come across as being judgmental, preachy and rude. And ones that focus so much on women’s dress kind of miss out on an important point: what you put on your head is not necessarily more important than what goes on inside it.
The “hijabi shame cartoons” start from the fairly innocent “the veil is an obligation just like prayer” written next to a woman covering her hair and praying, to the more extreme: I’ve actually seen one of a woman wearing niqab (face veil) which shows her eyes standing in front of a fire (!) because according to that author, showing your eyes is haram (divinely forbidden).
Let’s take a cartoon that’s ‘in the middle’:
First off, it assumes that there is only one correct interpretation of hijab (veil),* and that those who wear it ‘improperly’ (let alone not wear it at all) are in the wrong, wrong, wrong.
Second, it equates dress with behavior, which in some ways is even worse than stereotypes of veiled women (oppressed, asexual, powerless, helpless, low IQ etc). Hijab is seen as the be-all and end-all. I’m a proud hijabi myself, but that doesn’t mean I was automatically transformed into a perfect Muslim the moment I wore it. Just because a woman wears a veil doesn’t meant that she doesn’t struggle with temptations just like any other person, or that she’s better than an unveiled girl.
(I particularly like the touch of designing the cartoon so the face of the veiled woman is ‘glowing’ because she’s so ‘good’).
The second type of shame cartoons are a hundred times worse. Because not only are they trying to shame women into dressing (and acting) in a certain way, but they’re trying to make them think that if they don’t veil and dress ‘properly’ they’re at fault if they get sexually harassed.
There’s a multitude of them out there, with the most recent being the “Veil your lollipop” ads, featuring a covered and uncovered lollipop—with the latter surrounded by flies and with the tagline “You can’t stop them, but you can protect yourself.”
Similarly another ad features a covered and uncovered sweet, this time with the tagline: “A veil to protect or eyes will molest.” 
The ad campaigns have attracted furor from local and international press. I don’t know what’s more insulting: the idea that women are candy, or that men are flies.
As has been said numerous times, the veil doesn’t protect women from sexual harassment, which is about power and control, not sexuality. Let’s take Egypt as an example. The recent Egyptian Center for Women’s Rights (ECWR) study told us that in a country where over 80% of the women are veiled, 83% of women are harassed. During the Eid festivities in Egypt in 2006, mass sexual harassments went on downtown (video here), with hundreds of men sexually assaulting women.
What’s worse about the study (which surveyed 2,020 Egyptian men and women and 109 foreign women) is that 62% of Egyptian men surveyed admitted to harassment, and 53% blamed women for bringing it on. Sixty percent of the respondents (male and female) said that scantily clad women are more likely to be harassed though in reality 72% of the women who said they’d been harassed were veiled. But the worst part is the lack of understanding by Egyptian women that the harasser is a criminal and women had a right to dress as they pleased (read more about the study in Faith’s post here and about the “Respect yourself” campaign against sexual harassment in Egypt here.
According to the ECWR:
“[The cartoons] ignore [Egypt's] large Christian minority, promote wearing the veil for wrong reasons, objectify women, portray men as mindless insects, contradict statistics showing that women who wear a veil, even the full face veil, experience high levels of harassment, and contradict religion’s call for respect and personal responsibility for all.”
Harassment in Arabic is “tahroush”, but is referred to in colloquial Arabic as mu’aksa (”teasing”), which is a very light-hearted term that detracts from the seriousness of the situation.
Attaching religion to sexual harassment just fuels the harassers, giving them an excuse for their behavior and coerces women into dressing a certain way when they may not be fully convinced. The ‘blame the victim’ mentality is only compounded by shame cartoons, which absolve the harassers of any wrongdoing. (Mona El-Tahawy has a great post about shame here)
There are also many cartoons that compare veiled women to pearls (where the veil is their ‘protective covering’). These ads are particularly annoying because as we know, the veil does not necessarily offer ‘protection,’ which is a kind of a weak reason to veil in the first place. And that’s another thing these cartoons fail to realize—the desire to ‘cover’ is multifaceted, and is not necessarily related to religion.
For the cartoons that do realize women veil for other reasons, their reasoning is even worse: not only are they trying to brainwash women into believing they are at fault for sexual harassment—they don’t frame veiling as a religious duty. Instead, they say that ‘decent’ girls cover while ‘indecent’ girls don’t. If you take that to its logical conclusion: only ‘indecent’ girls get harassed.
Translation: Who is the happy one? The good woman: Fulfills all her obligations and recites the Qur’an; Vigilant about modesty and calls to God; Does lots of supplementary acts and listens to helpful tapes.
The ‘not good’ woman: Goes to the mall a lot; Wears short and tight [clothing]; Copies the infidels and watches satellite TV channels.
So, what is it about shame? Why are we trying to shame women?
The answer lies in the fact that for many cultures, especially Arab ones, ‘honor’ lies with women, whose reputation, behavior, virginity, and appearance becomes a benchmark for the respectability of a culture.
Arab cultures, for the most part, are ’shame’ rather than ‘guilt’ cultures, where the reactions and treatment of society mandates an individual’s behavior, rather than his or her personal feelings of right and wrong.
The concept of shame is often confused with modesty. So many cartoons emphasize that you should be ashamed of your body, as if it was an unwanted appendage. Hayaa’ (modesty), an important part of Islam (regardless of how it’s interpreted) is often translated as shame, which is not only incorrect but goes against the fact that Islam says “Certainly We created man in the best make” (95:4) and promotes healthy sexual relationships within the proper framework of marriage.
Appealing to women’s sense of shame (which has already been ‘cultivated’ since they were young) in order to get them to dress in a certain way is a shortcut for the lazy who do not want to engage in proper discussions with them and only care about appearance. But browbeating women for the actions of men is, I’m sorry, just low. How come there are no cartoons shaming men for treating women like objects? No cartoons shaming men into realizing God created men and women as equals?
Search as hard as I could, I could not find one cartoon pointed at men and aimed at shaming them. The best I could come up with were some radio and TV ads that are currently airing in Egypt asking men not to harass women because…wait for it…harassment is harmful to the economy! You see, harassment tarnishes the image of Egypt in the eyes of tourists and they might not want to come, so you should stop. At least during tourist season. You can watch one of the ads here.
But that’s enough from me. What do you all think?
*Please let’s not get into arguments about what constitutes proper dress/whether hijab (however you define it) is mandatory, etc.
Carmen Van Kerckhove is co-founder and president of
Jess wrote:
Question: I noted that this seems to focus on the Arab world. Is there an equivalent movement in Indonesia or Malaysia? (Or even Pakistan or Algeria?) Or is this focusing on Egypt?
I understand that for a lot of of people in the Middle East Cairo is sort of a media center, (or at least was) because a lot of ads and TV are produced there. But, that said, I can’t tell if the ads are all Egyptian or from Saudi Arabia (where the questions raised would seem to be sort of moot, right? Because in Saudi Arabia the government mandates being covered, where in Syria or Egypt it doesn’t).
So is this referring to stuff that is country – specific? I thought yes but I could be really wrong.
Posted 21 Oct 2008 at 6:47 am ¶
Myles wrote:
Bordering on a sidenote:
It makes me insane that people think that something that you wear opens you up ton be a target to be harassed.
I hate how this send a message to men that they don’t have to treat women or anyone who dresses “weird” with respect and that it is someone else’s responsibility to control your sexuality and your ability to supress your urges.
They’re basically telling women that their bodies are these evil things and that if they allow someone to see how they are shaped they will be harassed and raped and it will be their own fault for “putting themselves out there like that”
And they are also telling men that they are too stupid and uncontrollable to keep their genitals to themselves or a consenting partner, but rather than telling men to get their crap together, they blame women. Why? Because men are stupid and weak and can’t control themselves, boys will be boys, right?
*sidenote:
I’m not fully awake trying to write this, I’m using opera so no spellcheck. And I’m a dude that has dealt with being told I look slutty and “reeeeeeaady” when I was younger, no matter how properly I dressed, or how covered I was. So the idea that you must conform to standards or take the harassment and/or raping strikes a nerve.
Posted 21 Oct 2008 at 8:01 am ¶
Alston wrote:
It bothers me greatly that there are no real ads directed at curbing the behaviour of these men. If anyone should be shamed, it’s the men. Why shouldn’t such a religion stress this? Of course, I’m sure that defenders of such religions would insist that they do, and that the rest of us don’t understand. Maybe it’s because we are twisted infidels.
Men are only very rarely targeted for their behaviour. Anywhere. It’s just as true here as anywhere else. I’ve never seen ads in Canada or the US talking about how men should treat…anyone. I rarely hear about parents teaching boys about that specific treatment of girls, particularly when they hit puberty. It’s like people think that boys issues (and yes, it is a male issue) will just go away or solve themselves.
Posted 21 Oct 2008 at 9:43 am ¶
DEAF FEMINIST PUNK!! wrote:
this article proves there are stupid, sexist assholes everywhere. BLAME THE WHORE!!! IF it was a campaign targeted at Muslim men, too, then I’d find it funny, but nope, it’s all about how females are whores, sluts and should be veiled!!!
I fucking hate people so much. reading articles like these makes me lose faith in people more and more.
Posted 21 Oct 2008 at 10:24 am ¶
Dawud wrote:
I appreciate this discussion, but this issue has nothing to do with the theme of this blog, which is race.
The 1st cartoon with “Al-Mafrood Muhajabah” with the young girl before and after makes no sense. Hijab simply means screen, not headscarf (khimar), and the jeans with the “69″ t-shirt (sexually connotation aside) would not be considered to be hijab anyway according to screening the body from revealing shapes. Men aren’t allowed to do this either, by the way.
I don’t believe that the head scarf should be pushed on anyone; it should be worn out of religious conviction if that is one’s bona fide belief. I strongly disagree with it being mandated by law such as in Saudi Arabia and Iran, especially when non-Muslims are forced to wear it. That totally violates the spirit of Islamic law.
I also don’t like how some liken those who observe “hijab” as being oppressed or backwards, and the “liberated” Muslim women, who are intellectua,l need to save these mistakenly oppressed women.
Prophet Muhammad (SAAS) did say, however, that “Al-hayaa minal imaan” – Modesty (shame) is part of faith. That goes for men and women.
I’m not sure if this is the arena for this conversation.
Also, I take note with to your translation of “bil kaafiraat” to mean with “infidels”. Kaafiraat are simply those females who do not adhere to Islam with the classical understanding that they have rejected Islam and are hostile to it after being given the message. Infidel, by the way, is a word that has origin with the Crusaders. I’m not affirming the ad at all, but you’re using language that furthers misconceptions.
Many non-Muslims think that the word infidel is in the Qur’an, which it is NOT.
Posted 21 Oct 2008 at 10:58 am ¶
ms. four wrote:
The billboard with the candy and flies has been on prominent display in Cairo. I’m guessing that’s where this image came from.
Harassment is a huge problem here. And, it’s true, at least anecdotally, that women who appear to be Egyptian get harassed much more than women who appear to be non-western. I know two very attractive mid-20s women here, one with light brown hair who looks European or American, and the other who is Puerto Rican with long, dark, curly hair who can pass as Egyptian. These women are both very attractive, dress similarly, etc., but it’s the darker woman who faces far more harassment and comments on the streets.
But it’s not just young women who are harassed in Egypt. I know a 50-something woman whose butt was grabbed at the Citadel!
And it’s also true that women in hijab sometimes face more harassment than women whose hair is uncovered.
It is shameful, and I think it’s going to take some sort of national conscious-raising amongst men to change it.
Posted 21 Oct 2008 at 12:01 pm ¶
ms. four wrote:
Oops! Part of my post made no sense. I meant:
And, it’s true, at least anecdotally, that women who appear to be Egyptian get harassed much more than women who appear to be *western*.
and
I think it’s going to take some sort of national *consciousness*-raising amongst men to change it.
Posted 21 Oct 2008 at 12:05 pm ¶
elise wrote:
@ Dawud – I get what you mean by saying that Islam/Muslim issues aren’t “race” but the problem is that in many parts of the world, people do think that it is and act accordingly.
Articles and the commentary it provides on these issues are good because, like you point out, it isn’t about race, but a diverse religion. It educates those who aren’t aware of the nuances of religion, race, and culture (like me.) So I think this is the perfect arena for this conversation and am glad I get to be a part of it.
Posted 21 Oct 2008 at 12:06 pm ¶
mohamed khalf wrote:
All Muslims believe that the father and mother of human beings is Adam and Eve(Howah)….
We do not believe like jews, christians, anthropologists, that state that human beings are white, black, yellow or red…………………
So race is not an issue in Al Islaam….now as per clothes, yes the same place we believe that Adam and Eve are the father/mother also asks us to believe that men and women must dress modestly for social or prayer. Also men and women are asked to cover that which can become immodest if not worn. For men no open upper torso and no lower body to above t he ankle. For women no show of seductive parts, hair, shoulders, upper torso, lower torso to the floor. For both men and women no seductive parts to be uncovered that when walking, running or jumping show outlines of maleness or femaleness. Again, Al Islaam makes no compulsion and societies around the world do not adhere, that is the choice of the believer. It is also a sign to the believer of who is actually a believer(one who can be trusted by another believer).
Posted 21 Oct 2008 at 2:12 pm ¶
Jess wrote:
Thanks ms. four, I was just trying to figure out a little of the context and not knowing the ins and outs the way I would like, I wasn’t sure.
And yes, there does need to be some shaming in Egypt going on, but not of the women.
Posted 21 Oct 2008 at 2:28 pm ¶
Jenna wrote:
More quibbling about scraps.
If Creator had wanted us to be naked, we’d have been born that way.
All this goes back to silly, stupid, fallible humans attempting to put Creator in a box. The Omnipotent One won’t fit, boys and girls, and we are too feeble to wrap our minds around Its concepts. Perhaps, instead of trying to make bodies shameful and dirty and wrong we should ALL realize that we are good, beautiful and right as we were made. We should also realize that ANY rules that ANY religion put on dress claiming it to be “godly” is a boatload of feces. Rules in “God’s Name” are social controls aimed at robbing the individual of personal freedom and making him/her conform.
NO PERSON, male or female, should be harassed or shamed for their clothing. They weren’t supposed to be wearing any in the first place.
Posted 21 Oct 2008 at 5:08 pm ¶
Sobia wrote:
@mohamed khalf:
Your comment “We do not believe like jews, christians, anthropologists, that state that human beings are white, black, yellow or red…………………” makes me quite uncomfortable.
I understand what you are saying here. What you are presenting is an ideal state of Islam. But in the process you’ve insulted Judaism and Christianity and presented an unrealistic picture of Muslims. Islam may endorse equality between races but Muslims usually do not unfortunately. Racism among Muslims is rampant. However, that is a side point.
Also, you’ve presented an interpretation of what is considered to be seductive. As was mentioned in the post:
“*Please let’s not get into arguments about what constitutes proper dress/whether hijab (however you define it) is mandatory, etc.”
Your comment has come dangerously close to violating this request by the author. You’ve also made some extreme judgments about Muslims.
As for the entry itself – I too am SICK of women being responsible for the behaviour of men. Even if a woman is walking down the street naked and a man harasses her or assaults it is %100 his fault. He has full control over his behaviour. All this blame placed on women just seems like a way to make life even easier for men by taking blame off of them for deviant behaviour regarding women. Would any ad campaign tell men who walk around wearing expensive clothes that is their fault if they get robbed?
Posted 21 Oct 2008 at 7:46 pm ¶
Amethyst wrote:
Wow, you know you’ve really opened my eyes. I’ve never realized these “shame cartoons” existed. Additionally, your comment about shame vs. guilt cultures is right on, it is one of the main determining factors for the basis of their Justice System, which ties into many other aspects of life. While not similar to your topic, it is something I really enjoy thinking about, and something that has not crossed my mind recently. Thanks for spurring on that enjoyable train of thought.
-Amethyst
Posted 21 Oct 2008 at 9:00 pm ¶
Asada wrote:
@ Dawud
oh thanks for making that clear. Seems Christianity and Islam are truly derivatives of Judaism: “Modesty (shame) is part of faith. That goes for men and women. “
Posted 21 Oct 2008 at 10:54 pm ¶
luckyfatima wrote:
these cartoons really piss me off…There is a youtube video “that’s not hijab,” have you seen it? That guy irks me, too! I also *HATE* those terms muhajababe and ho-jabi! That is just soooo demeaning! You know some people won’t be happy until we are all walking around against walls with one eye to see the way when we need to go out of our houses (as in when the house is burning down—if we have had time to get our veils on then) but somehow these guys get to speak for Islam as if their voices are God’s voice! GAH! As usual I am wary of how non-Muslims read our dirty laundry like this stuff, but glad to see it posted here.
mohd khalf: race is mentioned in normative sources in Islam…many hadeeths name race, even in simple terms of skin color as you say we do not have in Islam: as you must know from Sahih Bukhari according to Prophet Mohamed’s pbuh last sermon “Arab is not superior to non-Arab (Ajam) and… a white is not superior to black and a black is not superior to white …(la farqa bain abyadh wala aswad…) except in piety and good work” and here the terms black and white are used clearly.
Although Islamic textual sources have anti-racist messages such as the one above, we Muslims as people have a lot of racism in our communities all over the world, just like everyone else. Let’s not kid ourselves.
Posted 22 Oct 2008 at 4:29 am ¶
Viviti wrote:
@Dawud: “Kaafiraat are simply those females who do not adhere to Islam ”
I might be reading too much into it but I couldn’t help noticing the shift form modest (even if liberated) muslim WOMEN to unreligious FEMALES. So much for not furthering misconceptions…
Posted 22 Oct 2008 at 5:30 am ¶
Ali wrote:
I was raised Christian and definitely had a sense of self “shame” instilled in me by both of my parents. There were strict rules about what I was and was not allowed to wear and it was all for the benefit of the men around me. It was my responsibility not to tempt them. There were no expectations for them to behave in an appropriate manner. I have long since shed this damaging mentality but it appears to me that this is the very attitude these ads are advocating and I think that’s a very bad thing. In fact, any time there are different rules for the way women should dress I think that’s bad. Anytime an inordinate amount of focus seems to be allocated toward what women are wearing and where they are going that raises red flags for me as well.
@Dawud – I appreciate your input. It is interested to read your impressions of this post as a GUY who is knowledgeable of Islam. The main focus of this blog is race but issues that relate to women and feminism are also regularly covered. Given that many women of color exist within communities and countries that practice Islam I think it is appropriate for this post to be published on this site.
You make a valid point that this may not be the ideal place to discuss issues that require a substantial amount of knowledge and understanding of the practice and principles of Islam but for those that are not so knowledgeable (such as my self) posts like this also serve as a great opportunity to learn.
As a woman I think it is important for me to be exposed to issues that other women around the world face. Especially when those women are part of communities I know little about or have limited access to. I’m glad this post is here because it allows both Muslim and non-Muslim women to engage in an open, high-level dialogue, which is the whole purpose of this blog.
Posted 22 Oct 2008 at 9:51 am ¶
Fatemeh wrote:
@ luckyfatima: COSIGN!
Posted 22 Oct 2008 at 11:48 am ¶
RChoudh wrote:
These ads will ultimately be ineffective as long as they only target women for changes in their behavior. In Islam a man is supposed to also change his behavior to that of a respectful human being who should not mistreat anyone including women. For example in Islam it is stated that if one comes across a member of the opposite sex somewhere the person, man or woman, is “allowed a first glance, but the second glance becomes sinful”. This means that no one man or woman should start staring lustfully at each other. Men should be especially forewarned of the consequences of sin since they are unfortunately left ignorant of this by Muslims.
Islam also emphasizes that men and women should not dress in such as a way as to draw attention to themselves, eg. wearing ridiculously expensive clothes jus to show off to others. It is also stated that men, particularly attractive men, should not draw unwanted attention to their features. So as long as men are not told to change their behavior in accordance to Islam (which is severly lacking due to the gross misunderstandings and ignorance of Islam among Muslims themselves) these ads are worthless.
Posted 22 Oct 2008 at 4:40 pm ¶
Samer wrote:
@Mohamed Khalf
Not to jump the bandwagon of folks responding to your post, but I think it’s important to address racist nuances(specifically in widley used phrases in Arabic).
A person that has shamed his/herself would be told Miswad Wajhek, translated: Your face is blackened
In that same respect, in honoring yourself you’re told Mibyud Wajhek : Your face is whitened.
Given there’s some internalized racism in that statement, I’ve lived in Syria and witnessed first hand the othering of people who were considered foreign. Anyone who looked remotely Asian was subject to this most intensely.
I believe this post is connected to race in that this is how many people (Arabic men in particular) are conditioned to respond to a woman asserting her freedom. The Patriarchy feeds off the Quuran and Hadith and keeps growing stronger as governments get involved in furthering the conservative agenda (a lot of parallels with the Christian right in the U.S) I said Arabic men in particular because I myself am an Arabic man and experienced the conditioning that made me feel comfortable harassing women.
I feel like in this instance “Religion is the tool of the oppressor” rings truest.
Posted 23 Oct 2008 at 8:50 pm ¶
RChoudh wrote:
@ Samer
In reply to your post I just wanted to say that while it is true that some governments in Muslim countries try to “justify” their rule using Islam, it is a twisted and incorrect approach to the religion that they use and they use this approach because they know majority fo the Muslims are too ignorant to realize how incorrect it all is.
For example right now I live in Saudi Arabia the land famous for preventing women from driving. In the past the government tried to justify this stupid law based on their own twisted interpretation of Islam. Just recently it was admitted that there really was no Islamic basis for preventing women from driving. The real reason the government does not allow women to drive is because it is too lazy to make sure the streets are safer for driving (alot of drivers here are bad and cause major accidents) and to hire more female traffic cops, mechanics to help female drivers (which I think is ridiculous too because what’s wrong with a man and woman interacting on an impersonal basis?) If the general population was aware of the real reasons for this restriction they would have demanded an end to the stupid ban much earlier. So you see I wouldn’t believe any of these governments and their “interpretation” of Islam; instead I would educate myself as much as possible about Islam in order to refute their biases.
Posted 23 Oct 2008 at 9:56 pm ¶
JB wrote:
I think the idea of forcing someone to dress a particular way is vile. Even moreso when it is backed up by physical/verbal harrassment. People are individuals but sadly we are beset by pressure from groups to fit an “ideal” that makes the oppressive people feel comfortable.
Personally, I don’t see where clothing and purity have any intersection in the perception of people. I have seen a woman in a full dress, her arms bedecked with tattoos and numerous piercing called a satanic whore (under his breath), by a co-worker, while another day someone in cut-offs and a halter top is “the type of girl you bring home to mother” The “good girl ” was showing more skin but to the viewer was less offensive or alien than the other woman.
What defines modesty for one person doesn’t apply to another so why obsess over it unless it is your son or daughter who you are responsible for?
However the article did get me thinking about how people worldwide view their clothing and its ties to culture…why is it that so many cultures see dressing and acting “western” as freedom and progress? I see many african, east india and japanese styles of clothing that are beautiful, and yet there is a current to describe the women as being oppressed, too “ethnic” or somehow ignorant and shetered for not dressing in “western” style…
Personally, I would love to wear robes, shorts or a any other comfortable article or clothing to work as opposed to a shirt and tie for comfort reasons…its not like clothing helps me build a computer in an easier manner, but the social/cultural mores here don’t allow for it. I know I would be ridiculed and labeled some sort of backwards foreigner if I chose to wear a kilt, or robes etc…in this society. It seems people focus so much more on what is external and cosmetic than what someone actually has to say or express thoughtfully. It is as if people are too mentally lazy to take the time to consider an individual and are much more comfortable making a broad assessment of someone on their clothing.
If I wear a suit on a weekday, people tend to assume I am “safe” and strangers approach me for directions or ask me what slot to put their letter in at the post office …If I wear an Ole Miss T-Shirt and jeans people clutch their purses or cross the street…society has trained people to make external judgements based on clothing…is it shocking that there are groups of people around who want to force everyone into their comfort zone?
Posted 24 Oct 2008 at 2:04 am ¶
rachel wrote:
wat is being done to stop this in egypt and Syria or other place where covering up is not mandated by the government. are there local feminist groups, if so how can i, as an american, support them abroad. If you think about it the united states media and sometimes general sentiment is eerily similar, except we give women conflicting images of beauty…which if you are dressing “slutty” you have already sucum to anyway. But i am a strong believer in dressing how you want when you want male female, trans whatever…what a world we live in.
Posted 27 Oct 2008 at 8:09 pm ¶
solicitor bulgaria wrote:
Very fascinating. While this goes on, the culture will hold women back. The best thing to do is unlock the power of women, and allow them to wield it, vs. having men lock up the power of women.
Posted 31 Oct 2008 at 4:51 am ¶
Verena wrote:
I am American but married to an Egyptian. Over the years I have come to understand the Eastern sense of shame a little bit better. I agree that a woman should be able to wear what she wants to and not be harassed. At the same time clothing often serves as communication, and a woman who wears a “belly shirt” and tight miniskirt in a crowded urban area is communicating something that a woman in jeans and a T-shirt is not. Also, context matters: on a Florida beach, a woman in a one-piece maillot is modest; in downtown Cairo, she is not. Similarly, I find that women in full niqab walking around in U.S. cities attract more attention than they repel.
I think a sense of holism and appreciation of ambiguity are long overdue not only in the U.S. but in many places in the world. Dress and modesty have as much to do with taste and comportment as they do with rules. I have felt uncomfortable in shorts in front of male Orthodox Jews and I try to “do as the Romans do” within reason. I find it interesting how many young women can be loud and crass while wearing niqab: if the niqab is to project a message what is that message?
I have wandered but what I did want to say is that although men should take responsibility for their own bad behavior, the sense of responsibility that Eastern men have for their sisters, wives and daughters can be a positive thing. If the reality exists that men are stronger than women and women are often victimized, it is no wonder that there is a social system that places a high value on protecting women in their families. The problems come about when men’s responsibility to protect women becomes women’s responsibility to not be victimized. If I know my husband will lose some honor by my being assaulted, it is considerate of me to protect myself not only for myself but for him. I don’t know whether I have conveyed this in a way understandable to Westerners, but that’s the way I understand it.
Posted 01 Jan 2009 at 8:24 pm ¶