No Future For You: The Racialicious Review of Heroes 3.4
by Arturo R. García, also published at The Instant Callback
Warning: Spoilers Ahead
“Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.”
… Four years later, “I Am Become Death” shows us yet another future scarier than a Palin re-election: Metahumans everywhere! A super army being activated! Presidential fratricide! Costa Verde detonated! Dogs and cats, living together! …
Sorry, got carried away there. Anyway, this episode expects us to feel bad for doe-eyed, dunder-headed Peter Petrelli. No matter what he does, it seems, the future gets f’d up. The episode’s primary plot flings him into the future, where, for the second time in two seasons, things are jacked – despite his preventing Nathan’s outing the metas to the world earlier this year.
In the re-revised timeline, everyday schmucks are super-schmucks, thanks to the Suresh serum, while Suresh himself has apparently devolved into a spider-entity, warning our Peter, “I got the formula wrong.” In a nice touch, present-day Mohinder is discovering much the same thing, telling his trusty voice-recorder, “I cannot reverse the process … It’s a part of me now.”
In an odder touch, Peter’s new timeline matches the one Parkman beholds in a vision while “in Africa.” In this latest timeline, Future Pete is considered a terrorist, hunted down by the team of Knox, Daphne (revealed as Matt’s latest baby-mama), The Haitian and Evil Sexy Claire Bear. ESCB out-and-out shoots and kills Re-Pete, to the delight of recappers who won’t have to differentiate between the two of them anymore. The murder of his future self sends our One True Peter on his usual stumble-bum quest to put the pieces together.
A tip from Spider-Suresh leads Peter to the former Bennet residence, now inhabited by a rehabilitated Syl-uh, Gabriel Grey. Now a doting father to a son named Noah (awww), Gabriel confesses to Peter his belief that they’re siblings. Peter, unfortunately, doesn’t respond to Gabriel’s news with, “Who told you that, my mom? News flash, Spock – she’s a dirty liar.”
Peter does, however, learn to ape Gabe’s tinkering ability, just in time for a catastrophic run-in with Evil Claire in company, leading to Sylar’s finally going nuclear and destroying all of Costa Verde. Pete wakes up in the custody of the presumed new Company, where now-President Nathan reveals his plans for a superhuman army doing “God’s work.” Naturally, Peter decides it best to slice his brother’s dome open like a can of cat food before retreating back to the present and attacking our Sylar in Level 5. And here’s where we should step back a bit.
Imagine you’re Peter Petrelli. Your Facebook contact list, at this point, should presumably include the following: a politically-connected brother; a super-spy; a brilliant (if stupid) scientist; and a guy who can travel through freaking time. How do you not call or message any of these people at the slightest hint of trouble? Wouldn’t a simple e-mail solve anything at this point?
Hey, Noah, long time no hear. You still slinging copy toner?
I kid. Listen, I think my mom’s screwing with us and The Future Of All Mankind again. And Nathan’s acting all “Praise the Lord and pass me the Niki Sanders lookalike.” We should talk. I cc’ed Hiro and Mo on this. Wanna do lunch at the mall? Best to C-Bear.
Peace,
Pete
Speaking of Mrs. Petrelli, we wrap up the episode with her latest manipulation, as she convinces the still-bickering Hiro and Ando that they hold “the key” to the whole mystery, leading them to, naturally, dig up Adam Monroe, who only wanted to destroy the world just days ago. Maybe Hiro shouldn’t be cc’ed on that e-mail.
The Racialicious Scorecard:
Knox: Solid outing for Knox, as we see him in the thick of the latest dystopian future, leading Daphne and Claire into battle against Gabriel and Peter. In a pervertedly smart move, Knox feeds off the fear he instills in the younger Gray and gains an early advantage – until Gabe beats him up for inadvertently causing Noah’s death.
The Haitian: We see him as part of Knox’s team in the future, but otherwise he only appears in the present-day to deliver Hiro and Ando to Mrs. Petrelli.
Hiro + Ando: Their imprisonment in Level 2 leads to a reconciliation, for now, as Hiro promises to renew his trust in his sidekick. As Mrs. P attempts to pin the blame on them for losing the formula, Ando sticks up for Hiro. We last see them working together again to dig up Adam.
D.L: Still … oh, I give up.
Mohinder + Maya: Maya appears briefly, attempting to convince Mo to either go out on a date or break her off another Arachni-piece. But Suresh, increasingly desperate to find a cure for his condition, brushes her off. Mohinder does find time, however, to save a white neighbor from being beaten – and, perhaps, to devour her husband. Ew.
Usutu: Still playing window dressing for Parkman’s “vision quest.” We don’t find out what was in his Discman to make Matt see the future, but he does get one good moment: when Parkman asks if his advice – find his “totem” — is “mystical African mojo,” Usutu calmly tells him it’s actually Jungian theory, before asking, “You don’t read much, do you?” Zing! Now, if the writers would actually give him a character …
Next week: Who could ever surprise Mrs. Petrelli?
Previously:
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Carmen Van Kerckhove is co-founder and president of
White Trash Academic wrote:
Haha..best recap ever.
Posted 08 Oct 2008 at 7:25 am ¶
talulah_m wrote:
“Wouldn’t a simple e-mail solve anything at this point?”
THANK YOU. During the first season, the whole “working at cross-purposes, never quite connecting the dots” thing made *sense*, because so many of these people didn’t actually know each other. Now, though, it’s like they’re all just being willfully stupid, and I’m sorry–but if I have to say “he or she is pretty, but not so bright” about EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER…why am I watching again? Oh, wait, that’s right: I’m not.
There’s a difference between characters making bad choices for good reasons, and characters making bad choices because the writers can’t think of any other way to create drama. I wish the Heroes people would LEARN IT LIVE IT LOVE IT so that I could go back to enjoying their work.
But then I’d have to deal with all the creepy gender/race wtfery, and that would just hurt my head. So maybe it’s better that they gave me an easy out.
“Wanna do lunch at the mall?”
…I really, REALLY want to see them all squabble over Sbarro versus Panda Express.
Posted 08 Oct 2008 at 7:53 am ¶
Daomadan wrote:
Love the email! So much could be solved if they all just sent few of those and cc’ed people.
Also, does anyone else hope Peter ends up dead? He and Clairebear are the most annoying presences on the show. I also hate the hair color choice for vigilante Claire…brown? Oh…she’s lost her innocence (blond hair) and is now a bitter brunette who can’t convincingly act like she’s tough.
Posted 08 Oct 2008 at 8:52 am ¶
Ken Arromdee wrote:
People have this habit of not using powers on the show they could use. If Peter had stopped time when Claire was ready to shoot, the episode would have been over. There were also several places where Claire’s blood would have been useful, particularly for healing the speedster girl.
Posted 08 Oct 2008 at 9:04 am ¶
Reiter wrote:
The Carl Jung rebuttal from Utusu did bring a smile to my face. Hiro and Ando digging Adam back up – yup, the writers have officially poured Hiro’s brains down the crapper. Time for Revenge of Kensei, part 2.
What I want to know what woman is nuts enough to do the dirty two-step with Sylar for little Noah to spring into existance; unless the kid’s adopted or something. And yea, Peter has become more and more annoying with each new power he acquires (Superman syndrome FTL).
Posted 08 Oct 2008 at 9:35 am ¶
Erica wrote:
The season’s shocking revelation will be that Mohinder’s antibodies never actually stopped the Shanti virus, they just mutated it into something new. It doesn’t block powers, it causes Ultra Stupid. And all the characters have caught it.
A thought I had about a day after seeing this was that Usutu’s “you don’t read much” dig would be rather mean to a dyslexic. However, Matt’s learning disability has been a non-issue since the whole detective exam thing, not to mention Usutu probably doesn’t know about it, and I’m guessing the writers just forgot. (And if they HAD remembered, we would have lost that funny, funny line.)
@Daomadan — I’m going to start going through all female characters and checking how blondeness corresponds to “survives all bad things including death”. Perhaps a peroxide rinse is in order for all characters to decrease their mortality rate.
Posted 08 Oct 2008 at 9:41 am ¶
Erica wrote:
@Reiter — Noah’s age is something of a conundrum. This is supposed to be 4 years in the future. Pregnancy requires 9 months, so even if we assume Sylar turns good next week, his son couldn’t be older than 3 years 3 months. And I have yet to meet a 3-year-old who’s that eloquent, although 4-5 would be totally plausible. So, we’re left with either adoption, or gestation has to be tossed into the Convenient Plot Hole that keeps getting bigger and bigger as the season progresses.
Posted 08 Oct 2008 at 10:07 am ¶
jen* wrote:
All I can figure is that Noah could possibly be Maya’s. He didn’t look like Maya’s, necessarily, but who knows? But then, being named Noah…he could’ve been adopted after being named after HRG dude.
teh stoopid is definitely spreading though. I have been wondering for weeks, now, why Peter doesn’t use all of his abilities when warranted. And if DL never comes back, I will be sad. I’ve been holding out hope for a long time, tho.
Were I to write the show, Claire and Knox would get together and she’d get over the bitterness or whatever her problem is, and DL would come back to raise Micah. Parkman and Molly would move to be near DL and Micah so they’d be able to commiserate about being gifted kids in a crappy school system. And all the Petrellis would die. The end.
Posted 08 Oct 2008 at 10:57 am ¶
Arturo wrote:
Erica:
Just a thought — maybe young Noah is another product of gene-tampering. It’s not a good thought, mind you.
Posted 08 Oct 2008 at 10:59 am ¶
Joseph wrote:
@Arturo
Damnnit! I’d cut the cord on Heroes but your recaps have pulled me back in…
Am I the only one who was imagining Usutu on his cell while Parkman went all white eyed? Like: “Dude, you gotta get over here! I just gave this white guy a hit of X, painted cat whiskers on his face in poo, and then I put on an old Deep Forrest disc! I know right? VISION QUEST!”
In my world pictures of a sweaty, tweaking Parkman would end up on Usutu’s Facebook page.
Posted 08 Oct 2008 at 11:00 am ¶
Arturo wrote:
Joseph,
BWAHAHA, thank you for the laugh. How long ’til we get a LOLParkman meme?
Talulah,
In a perfect world, we can only hope the Heroes compromise and go in for Cinnabon.
Posted 08 Oct 2008 at 12:05 pm ¶
Erica wrote:
I think we’re all in favor of
The characters you love to hate…
Posted 08 Oct 2008 at 12:08 pm ¶
shah8 wrote:
My main problem is that Sylar has Claire’s healing blood capability. He really can munch people to his hearts content and his victims will be alive (if traumatized…).
My other annoyance is that both Sylar and Peter seems to have no awareness of combined arms warfare. All they have to do is simply combine two or three of their accumulated talents and presto! Done. I think the writers have gravely misunderstood just how powerful that stupid timebending power is. Control time, and you control gravity, mass, pretty much everything. I was also irritated about how the writers really didn’t understand the nature of consciousness when they created Charlie in S1…she should have been one of the megapowers, and those fo–…writers thought it was all about know the test answers. All peter or sylar has to do in *any* conflict is simply freeze time and do what they want–lop heads off with psychokinetic blades or tie them up or something.
Posted 08 Oct 2008 at 1:05 pm ¶
heyhey wrote:
Awesome opening quote and the Facebook bit was priceless.
@Ken Arromdee: No kidding. Season opener, Sylar with his countless powers can’t force open a pantry door– a shuttered one at that, not solid wood — to get to Claire and pop-her-(skull)-top? Really? You know the writing’s bad when you are cheering for the alleged villain to bust in a “finish her” already.
@Joseph: Deep Forest, bwah!
I can’t summon the power to get too involved watching the series, but I am enjoying the recaps. Keep them coming, please.
Also, my guess is Papa Petrelli comes back?
Posted 08 Oct 2008 at 2:46 pm ¶
August wrote:
Awesome recap!
Posted 08 Oct 2008 at 5:16 pm ¶
Ken Arromdee wrote:
On Usenet someone suggested the kid is not Sylar’s kid. He is Noah, de-aged by some method.
Another possibility is that he’s Claire’s kid and not Sylar’s. To Claire’s kid, Peter would still be a great-uncle, so he’d have a reason to call him “uncle”. Of course being Claire’s kid has the same age problem.
Posted 08 Oct 2008 at 11:00 pm ¶
J.J. wrote:
wait…..Erica just made me think…. remember how Mohinder’s blood *is* supposed to kill the virus…. shouldn’t it cancel out the injection?
and all these comments made me laugh hard and loud – at work mind you lol
awesome recap!
Posted 09 Oct 2008 at 9:02 am ¶
Sarah wrote:
This whole Angela Petrelli thing is just creepy. She’s way too touchy-feely with Sylar to be his mother. Maybe Noah is the product of some f-ed up Oedipus-esque story arc??
I watched this right after watching a new Entourage. I seriously expected Parkman to wander off into the desert and find Ari tripping out on magic mushrooms.
The writers screwed up early by giving Sylar and Peter too many “ultimate” powers too soon. We can’t possibly believe they have to struggle through anything since they can do just about anything.
Posted 09 Oct 2008 at 10:04 am ¶
adamson wrote:
Aah, I just LOVE Sendhil Ramamurthy.
Posted 09 Oct 2008 at 2:01 pm ¶
Brandon wrote:
The thing that always gets me is how when someone travels back in time from the future, he meets his past self instead of traveling back within the same body. This means anyone that can time travel can continually go back in time (just a few seconds) and multiply himself into an infintismal army. Bet they didn’t think too much about while writing Heroes.
Posted 10 Oct 2008 at 11:23 am ¶
hlynn wrote:
Best breakdown of heroes. Season two really sunk the series, which made me super sad. Season three has potential, but the gaping plot holes opened in season two kind of suck. A lot. Basically, season two was ‘let’s produce an entire season in, like, eight episodes.’ Bad plan.
Ah. I remember when I used to like Peter and Claire. Now they are made of dumb. Yeah, Peter was a lot more convincing when he couldn’t do shit. At least that was a reason for him not being able to use any of his powers.
Posted 13 Oct 2008 at 11:39 pm ¶
Marge Twain wrote:
I actually groaned that there was another imminent apocalypse this season. I keep watching and rooting for it to get better, but I think this show really peaked at season one.
Posted 14 Oct 2008 at 2:43 pm ¶
Marge Twain wrote:
Also, did it disturb anyone else that they used that awful stereotype of the woman being beaten who gets mad at Suresh for trying to help her and coos over her abusive b.f.?
That seems to always be the narrative on television, that the woman is psychologically broken and incapable of recognizing abuse or wanting to leave. It’s not only not the norm in real life, it’s a dangerous stereotype that keeps friends and neighbors from offering help. Most women in abusive situations can’t leave for lack of resources or fear of losing their children or being found and killed.
Posted 14 Oct 2008 at 2:54 pm ¶