A personal experience with the hatred of Islam
By Guest Contributor Shawna, originally published at Islam on My Side
This is an old post I’ve pulled out of the Islam on My Side archives, originally posted with the title “Give Me an Unbigoted Break.” It’s a bit more personal than I’ve been inclined to post on this blog, but as personal essays come in from contributors (deadline August 1st, so get to it!), I feel inclined to share a bit of my own experience–the roots of this blog and anthology, if you will.
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As I thumbed my way through some favorite blogs this morning, I was inspired to touch on a hot topic in the Muslim blogosphere: bigotry. Islamo-Facism Week has encouraged the debasement of Islamic ideals stemming from a bigoted hardline against Muslims. I’ve grown used to being lumped into unfriendly categories. It often happens by friendly people who are misinformed by Horowitz-like others or simply ignorant to world affairs. I’m often tolerant of said lumping.
I spent six years in Oklahoma, three years in Texas, and another six years in Arkansas prior to the eleven I’ve spent in Indiana. For those of you trying to do the math, that makes me twenty-six years old. When I lived in Arkansas, I was the object of some pretty serious hate. My family was the only Muslim family in the tiny town we lived in. I started there in fifth grade. I remember my first day of school clearly. I’d changed schools a number of times as my dad moved up in the job world. I’d gotten pretty good at identifying who the kids I wanted to get in with were from day one. I was thrilled when one of the girls disengaged herself from the medium-popularity clique and offered to be my tour-guide. She never got to guide me though. I was handed off before that first period ended to a girl with wildly red hair who was clearly not as well-to-do or well-looked upon. This girl became my best friend for several years, mostly due to her honesty when I asked her why the other girl had ditched me.
She nodded when she said it, “The teacher says you’re part of a cult.”
It took awhile for the implications of this to sink in. My fifth-grade homeroom/English teacher had discouraged another student from being my handler because she somehow knew my family was Muslim. Or maybe it was because I entered the classroom with a wicked tan, the same type of tan my younger sister sported when we were on the local swim team and another teacher’s daughter came up to her and asked, “Do you take pills to be Black?” or something like that.
Interestingly enough, the Black members of this town were made welcome, and barriers were broken down to give them at least marginal acceptance because they were churchgoers, and perhaps more importantly, they were really good at basketball (or football, or track) and those were this Bible-belt town’s lifeline.
Anyway, I spent the rest of this day following that brave red-head–she’d shrugged off the cult thing–around the school trying not to cry. Give me a break. I was an eleven year old girl clearly being shunned by peers who shifted away and whispered when I walked past. I was the object of a lot of pointing and narrowed eyes. It turns out that my younger sister did better because she was only seven, and the community believed she could still be saved from our heathen household.
I’d like to say that this kind of behavior was temporary, that people opened their eyes and hearts to my family and accepted us. We kept to ourselves. We didn’t make a big thing out of our difference of faith. We never criticized what the other members of our community believed. But the truth is, while some of the kids I attended classes with and was teammates with for volleyball, basketball, track, or swimming did relax a little around me, it was extremely rare that I got an invite to do anything other than attend youth group or go to church, both of which I did because I would take what I could get. I was even saved under a big tent one summer. Afterward, one mom welcomed me into her life, promising to give me a Bible (which I was thrilled at the prospect of even though I already owned one and had read it). But her interest in me came to screeching halt when she said she’d pick me up for church every Sunday. By this time, my parents had decided they no longer wanted to humor the efforts of these families to try and convert me–not because they were afraid I would convert, but because it was a blatant and hateful attack on our beliefs and their parenting. I was confused by the offer of a ride to church. “I’m not going to church,” I said.
The woman looked at me, as confused as I was. “But you were just saved.”
“Yeah, but I’m a Muslim.” It hadn’t occurred to me that saving wouldn’t work if I was constantly correcting the our “Lord Jesus” to our Prophet Jesus in my head, or if I prayed just to God instead of “Lord Jesus God.” I was truly repentant. I wanted my sins forgiven.
She ushered her daughters and husband away from me, looking back once over her shoulder with those eyes that said, “Well, I can’t believe it! What in the world!” Her older daughter later told me she’d pray for my soul that I could accept Jesus Christ and go to heaven with her. I can’t tell you how many times I heard “But we want to be surrounded by all our friends in Heaven” from girls who otherwise wouldn’t talk to me.
During these years, my family was party to pleas for my sisters and I to attend church. When that stopped happening, and after the whole “saved” event, the ugliness that initiated my unwelcome in Arkansas became less underhanded and more aggressive.
My older sister’s instructors repeatedly tried to evict her from the school system. She was sassy, but not a bad student, like many teens in the town. Yet her teachers argued with her and went over and above to find fault with her. My younger sister was stood up two years in a row at birthday parties. Each year, a popular girl would schedule a party at the same time and invite the same people. (One girl did show up for a few minutes and give my sister a present, and I still love that girl for it.) I was an “A” student, good at sports, and quiet to boot, but I was regularly ostracized. I remember being greeted by my peers with ethnic epithets that often had nothing to do with my heritage, and were even more hurtful because of it. One lunch, one of my classmates attempted to strangle me. (Another jumped in and stopped him, thank God, but I still had to go to the hospital.) Despite witnesses, bruising on my neck, and other violent transgressions by the same kid, my parents had to threaten to sue to get him suspended. My father, as he had for years, received death threats and threatening phone calls.
There were ups mingled in these downs. My History teachers often called on me to correct the definition of Islam in our History books. The books read: Muslims, or Mohammedans, worship Mohammed who wrote the Koran. I was allowed to say, “Muslims worship God,” and it was often added that our god’s name is Allah. Sometimes I was allowed to illuminate the main difference between Christianity and Islam; “Muslims do not believe Jesus was God or the son of God. Jesus was a man and a prophet.” Then I was left to answer questions about how that was possible and whether or not Jesus died on the cross.
Another instructor invited my dad to come and speak to our class when it was discovered that he was an immigrant and again after we watched Not Without My Daughter. My dad told stories of his days as a boy scout in Lebanon (which incidentally inspired a boy scout story in my thesis collection). It helped a lot that my dad is a natural storyteller, he included fart jokes, and he was really funny. Never been prouder. My dad has a way of making Arab Muslim men seem human in a way I wish the rest of the world could take note of.
Those years in the Bible-belt were infused with an intolerance I thought I’d left behind when we moved to Indiana. Midwesterners were much less bent out of shape by my father’s non-White appearance. No one took much notice that we were Muslim. In fact, I was able to start an MSU at my high school with barely any trouble, and only a couple of my friends were regularly asked if they had bombs in their backpacks.
But then there was 9/11, attacks on women in hijab on the IU campus where I was attending, the Patriot Acts, a news story on how some member of our community was part of a sleeper cell and an implication that my husband was tied to this guy (who we never met), my local mosque being defaced, fire-bombed, another known attempt at defacement, and the constant awareness that wherever I go, my face gives me away as “one of those Arabs” and someone might make a hateful assumption, like those perpetrating Islamo-Facism Week, that I am someone less than worthy or some kind of victim that needs to be saved according to their rules.
The only help I need is a hand in the dissemination of this information: There’s no switch to be flipped. I choose to believe in Islam and live my life as a Muslim. I am not repressed, not angry, not violent. I am a woman, a mom, and a writer. I am a Muslim living life day to day.
Carmen Van Kerckhove is co-founder and president of 
Fatemeh wrote:
Salam and beautifully-written post.
AKHE! THEY SHOWED NOT WITHOUT MY DAUGHTER AT MY MIDDLE SCHOOL! That was probably the worst day of school I’ve ever had in my life!!! Sally Field! (shaking fist)
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 12:46 pm ¶
Shamim wrote:
Thanks for writing this. I grew up in the midwest and faced similiar racism throughout my education. I, too had begged to switch to go to Catholic church. I am so ashamed of this now. I am very proud to be a Muslim and find my heritage and my religion empowering. I am glad you put this out there because when I share my story with a select few they can hardly believe it. I love it when my white colleagues say, Midwest is so welcoming and friendly….it is then that I tell them my story and paint a much grimmer picture.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 12:58 pm ¶
thesciencegirl wrote:
Thank you for sharing your personal stories; though I am of a different race and faith, I can relate in many ways. In some ways, I cannot relate, but I appreciate you sharing your experiences so I can better understand your perspective. Also, your dad sounds awesome.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 1:02 pm ¶
Meena wrote:
They showed Not Without My Daugnter at my middle school too! WTF? I had friends and classmates asking for weeks if my dad was gunna kidnap me.
I remember being singled out repeatededly to school/update our teachers about Islam at very young ages.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 1:14 pm ¶
Matt wrote:
Though I’m not Mulsim, as a religious minority, I can vouch for how thick people can be when they’re in the majority and concerned with “saving” souls. I once gave a pretty full description of myself as a secular Jew and religious Buddhist, after which someone wanted clarification: “But you still believe in Jesus, right?” That was from an adult in New York who worked for a small firm that was around half Jewish.
Thanks for the article.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 1:17 pm ¶
x0x wrote:
As an adamant atheist, I can’t get over Muslim and Arabic have become interchangeable terms in modern discourse on the “Middle East”. I dislike Islam for the same reason I dislike any other religion, but that doesn’t mean that I further dislike Arabic peoples. An attack on Islam does not have to be inherently racist, but we’ve all seen how the lines blur when it comes to how people approach it. Think Danish newspapers.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 1:41 pm ¶
NancyP wrote:
Indiana is not exactly the most tolerant state outside university towns and Indianapolis. Of course many university students come from limited or intolerant backgrounds. 1920s Indiana had the highest census of KKK members, and had a large number of rural sundown (as in “don’t let the sun set on you in X”) towns and counties. There were all-white towns well into the 1960s or later.
But Arkansas - that’s Southern Bible Belt, not exactly friendly to non-Christians who refuse to be converted. Land of Huckabee. It really is too bad that your father couldn’t end up somewhere less backward.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 1:52 pm ¶
Joseph wrote:
Got to be honest, that made me choke up a ‘lil bit.
My Lebanese family are Maronite Catholics and I grew up in a big east coast city (Philly)–two things that protected me from the worst of your experiences with Bible-belt asshats. But reading your story brought back a flood of similar memories. Like: a big group of kids I wanted to play with running away from me like I was a monster, as I ran after them and tried to convince them I was “normal”…
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 2:20 pm ¶
Mammith wrote:
@x0x - As someone of a Turkic/Arab background that is predominantly Muslim, the fusion of the two annoys me no end. I have nothing against Muslims (I have issues with Islam but those are two different things in my book), but I wish people could realize that just because you’re from a certain area of the world, doesn’t mean you’re going to be a Muslim.
Nonetheless this was a very interesting and well written article, the small mindedness of people never ceases to appall me. I think a lot of this just boils down to majority rules.
In my old school for example the Muslims and Christians (about a 50/50 split) lived in relative harmony and saved all their hatred for us non-religious kids though! So even though I’m coming from a very different angel, I can understand your feelings somewhat.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 2:22 pm ¶
S. A. Bonasi wrote:
Not Without My Daughter was shown at my *Elementary* School. Ick.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 3:00 pm ¶
Abu Sinan wrote:
Thanks Shawna,
Your experience is one that the rest of us can learn from. It has been said that white converts to Islam “apostate” from being white, but I have to take issue with that.
I am a Muslim but I have NEVER had to go through things like that because I have the benefit of my skin colour.
The combination of ethnic/racial differences and religion mean that PoC Muslims go through things a white convert will never have to.
My wife has had issues like this, as a PoC Muslimah. It can go both ways, however. because she was here in the DC area after 9/11 other university students offered to walk her to her car to protect her.
That is one benefit of living in a multi-cultural area.
Insha’Allah, our children wont have to endure these types of events.
Allah Ma3aki.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 3:35 pm ¶
Jamerican Muslimah wrote:
Ahh…Not Without my Daughter. Someone asked my mom to make me watch it shortly after I converted to Islam. They wanted me to see what my fate was going to be as a woman in my new religion. *rolling eyes*
@ xox, the thing that annoys me about interchanging Islam or Muslim with Arab is that it leaves out the majority of the Muslim population of the world. (Arabs are actually in the minority). More than that, I am annoyed by the fact that “Islam” or “Muslim” has become synonymous with being an immigrant or foreign. The fact is there are American Muslims who are not “foreign” or “immigrant.”
As a Black woman, I have always been aware of racism and bigotry. But I have to say, I have never been the victim of such blatant racism since I started wearing the hijab (headscarf and modest clothing). I amazed by how freely people display their ignorance…
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 4:13 pm ¶
Paul wrote:
These sorts of stories are very troubling. However, many Islamic states do not even allow non-Muslims to worship or no worship as they see feet.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 5:32 pm ¶
Latoya Peterson wrote:
@Paul - And yet, in this conversation, we find ourselves talking about America.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 5:38 pm ¶
Joseph wrote:
Thank God I live in America where I can see my feet whenever I want.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 6:52 pm ¶
Mylie wrote:
Wow. But yeah, I can actually believe that would happen, in Arkansas, sure, and in Indiana (The KKK is huge in Indiana. I’ve lived only a few miles away from IN all my life and I only went there once, by accident, getting lost on the way home from Chicago. The place scares me.)
I remember in my elementary school, mothers of minority religion children used to come in to teach us about those religions. We only ever had Jewish and Muslim mothers, since I guess no one of any other religions attended our school (although one of my teachers was an ex-Catholic nun and a Buddhist). So the Jewish and Muslim kids were totally accepted. In fact, in my childhood, I simply could not understand anti-Semitism (still can’t really) and I had no knowledge of anti-Islamic prejudice. I think that children need to be educated about this stuff early. We had a first grade project on religions other than our own, I remember. It seemed totally normal for people to believe pretty much anything.
In my experience, it’s become much more acceptable to be openly prejudiced against Muslims or people who “appear” Muslim. We were having a discussion in English class today and not only the students but the teacher as well said so many things that were completely stereotypical, mostly about hijabs and burkas being completely forced on Muslim women when it is supposed to be a choice. And my school is quite liberal.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 7:45 pm ¶
atlasien wrote:
Most of the abuse I got in school was purely racist, but I do remember one particularly depressing religious incident that parallels the experiences in this post.
I thought I’d made a friend in the second grade when I noticed that a boy classmate was also crazy about dinosaurs. We talked about our favorite dinosaurs a lot and showed each other our dinosaur books. Then one day I told him that the dinosaurs evolved from reptiles. He told me, shocked, that I was wrong: they were made by God on the sixth day. The next day at school, the rest of the class surrounded me in a circle, pointed their fingers at me and sang a song together, “you’re going to he-ell, you’re going to he-ell.” Then everyone avoided me for the rest of the year.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 8:05 pm ¶
Dawud wrote:
Paul’s comment almost sound like a justification for the bigotry that Muslims face on a regular basis.
Wouldn’t be Un-American if non-Christian Americans blamed American Christians for Serbs who committed genocide against Bosnian Muslims or the complicit role that Catholic Church in Rwanda played in the genocide of Tutsi? The answer is of course it would be wrong and Un-American!
Ignorance is ignorance.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 8:15 pm ¶
Jamerican Muslimah wrote:
@Paul, are you suggesting that I, an American, must accept/feel okay with racism and religious discrimination I experience because some so-called Islamic countries have unfair policies? B.S.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 8:36 pm ¶
Safiya Outlines wrote:
Abu Sinan - As you know, I’m white but I’m also a woman wearing a headscarf and I have to say I’ve experienced a lot of ignorance.
If you look identifiably Muslim, there are people with a lot of prejudice they’re all to willing to show off to you.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 8:36 pm ¶
Jamerican Muslimah wrote:
lol@ Joseph!
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 8:36 pm ¶
Paul wrote:
@LaToya
I was referencing the recent discussions about the Beijing Olympics wherein many commentors claimed that unless the US was sinless, then it had no right to criticize China. Ergo, if we are to follow recent precedents, then Muslims have no moral authority in regard to the US because majoity Muslim countries refuse to allow atheism, homosexulatiy, women’s rights, etc..
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 8:49 pm ¶
Ejunco wrote:
Good Read.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 10:17 pm ¶
Zee wrote:
Paul. What do Muslim countries have to do with the article writer experiencing hatred and bigotry in THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?? Freaking read man.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 10:19 pm ¶
Angel wrote:
Thank you for this.
I can’t believe so many people saw “Not without my Daughter” in school. Why is this being shown? (I think I’m too old to have seen it in school).
@Paul
That’s irrelevant. The author is an American and has as much right to criticize racism/prejudice in this country as any other American. Christians aren’t asked account for the behavior of European or other majority Christian nations before criticizing the US.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 10:32 pm ¶
Torontonian wrote:
@ Paul:
As I recall, only Thea agreed with “you don’t have a right to talk about X unless you talk about Y in the same breath”. I certainly don’t agree with it, for this reason.
It doesn’t make sense! Why is an Oklahoma-born American responsible for the actions of foreign governments?
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 10:40 pm ¶
Jehanzeb wrote:
Really great post! Thanks for sharing this!
I can’t believe that other schools showed “Not Without My Daughter.” I thought my school was the only one that did that! My history teacher showed it to us in 8th grade while we were learning about the Middle-East. It still upsets me — why are you going to show such an anti-Muslim and anti-Iranian film when you’re teaching about the Middle-East??? It doesn’t make sense at all.
I know my friends are probably sick of me saying this, but I’ll share it here on racialicious: I was fired from my summer job last year because I verbally (and politely) defended myself after a customer called me a “terrorist.” She called me that because the line was moving too slow and was getting incredibly impatient. Just because I verbally confronted her, I was fired. Even though she was the one who used excessive profanity and even made a threat to “beat me up in the parking lot,” no one at my store took a stand for me. The system says the customer is always right, and if the customer doesn’t want me working there, the management had to let me go. Forget the fact that one of my supervisors cried when I was fired, or that I always came in whenever they needed help.
Cops have also threatened to arrest me while my friends and I were working on a short film. I had a whole bunch of experiences where I was cursed out by other people too, but I’ll spare all those details! I could write a whole book on it, or make a film about it (which I have and will continue to do so).
@ Paul — I agree with Latoya. We must deal with each issue individually — right now, we’re discussing the problems and issues that Muslim Americans face in the post 9/11 world. I dislike it when people try to compare it with other things that are going on around the world, because such comparisons seem to discredit the experiences that other people endure. When I went to the police to file my report against the women who called me “terrorist,” do you think it’s appropriate for them to tell me, “well, Muslim countries discriminate against non-Muslims all the time.” Are my experiences not meaningful? Do they not deserve to be told? I assure that many Muslims speak out against what happens in the Muslim world too. It’s just that you have to look at each issue individually. You can’t justify what happens here just because of what happened elsewhere. It’s like asking Muslims to “apologize for 9/11″. Why should we apologize when we had nothing to do with it??
@ x0x — You say you don’t see anything wrong with insulting Islam and then you mention the Danish cartoons. If you believe the Danish cartoons was simply about “freedom of expression,” then I must STRONGLY disagree with you.
It wasn’t about freedom of expression, just like the Obama cartoons on “The New Yorker” cover wasn’t about freedom of expression. It’s about promoting an image. When there is a war and a period of social change, society needs to produce a scapegoat in order to dodge the actual problems. When there is a war, dehumanization of the “other” is necessary. It is essential because while leaders double their power, the citizens double their allegiance. Citizens double their allegiance because they’re afraid, and the media makes them afraid.
The Danish cartoons are simply part of the dehumanization/vilification process in war. This happened to the Jews — the Nazis drew them with ugly features and hooked noses, and this has happened to the Africans in Minstrel shows and American cartoons (see Spike Lee’s “Bamboozled” to get a better understanding of what I’m talking about). Dehumanization occurs to reestablish the dominance and superiority of a particular nation and group of people (in this case, the West).
Vilifying a sacred figure in Islam such as Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, generates immediate stereotypes and misconceptions about Islam and its followers. Go visit an Islamic group on Facebook and you’ll most likely find anti-Islamic bigots in there with the horrible Danish cartoon as their profile picture. This is not about showing off “art.” This is about PROVOKING people. It’s about TICKING people off.
I don’t agree with the violent reaction of the Muslims around the world, but let’s be realistic: there is a WAR going on, what do you expect? This is not to justify anything, this is to UNDERSTAND. When Muslims are being bombed and invaded by western forces, isn’t it a colossally stupid idea for a western country to publish anti-Islamic cartoons? This pumps up the warmongers, it radicalizes the Muslim world, and that pumps up the warmongers even more — “see! this is why we need to kill those Muslims!!”
Try to understand the human emotions. It’s like this clip I saw on YouTube about this anti-immigration rally where this Hispanic man hit someone over the head with a sign. The man called over the cops and shouted, “police! police! arrest him!” All I’m thinking is: You’re marching in the streets, shouting racist things, and telling these people to get out of your country, and you want the cops to arrest one of them who emotionally responded to your hatred? Seriously, hatred begets hatred. Common sense.
The Danish cartoons were POLITICALLY motivated, NOT artistically motivated, just like these insulting Obama cartoons and commercials are.
In the words of Malcolm X, don’t be bamboozled.
Posted 26 Aug 2008 at 11:01 pm ¶
moi wrote:
@ Paul, you really have to learn the difference between institutes and individuals. The United States as an institute is hypocritical by criticizing the institute or agency of China on it human rights record. Muslims all over the globe are individuals, they are not an agency that are controlling Muslim countries from this secret cave. Muslim is not an ethnicity or a religion only exclusively for certain Middle Eastern or South Asians. It is a religion that accepts all races and ethnicity. So a Pakistani Muslim is not responsible for policies of Egypt. Look @ Dawud’s comment.
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 1:16 am ¶
Sewere wrote:
Paul really?
You can’t tell the difference between ariticizing an entire country of people and criticizing a religion followed in different ways by different groups of people across the world? Turkey is over 80% muslim and is a secular country, so is Indonesia the country with the most muslims in the world. There’s also Egypt and other lower East Asian countries…
Another thing, how the hell do you know if muslims don’t criticize theocracies in theocratic countries? I mean there are countless number of muslims that have died and suffered in theocratic countries as well as here in the US because they called out against theocracy… So what I really don’t understand is how the fuck you are able to lump all muslims together?
Oh wait, it must be that old time bigotry Shawna was referring to….
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 1:40 am ¶
lxy wrote:
Paul sounds like one of these Proud Amurikan flagwavers who still clings to the lie of American Moral Exceptionalism.
Abu Ghraib torture; Gitmo Gulag; a genocidal American war against Iraq; US lies about Weapons of Mass Destruction; CIA secret prisons around the world; racist profiling of Arab/Muslim Americans; a fraudulent US War on Terrorism; and the fortuitous events of 9-11 that provided the catalyst for these and other American crimes….
All these minor little issues, Paul–like most American patriots–is able to airbrush out of his consciousness like a Fox News telecast.
Welcome to the bubble reality of (White) America….
http://www.blackcommentator.com/48/48_cartoons.html
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 2:40 am ¶
luckyfatima wrote:
Can I just say that as a visible Muslim I have gotten shit all over the US…yelled at in San Francisco, in Chicago…not just in the South. That is just such a myth that the South is worse than the North, or that the North is somehow a bastion of tolerance or at least more tolerant. The racism is everywhere, and you will have incidents wherever you go. Although I don’t believe that the diversity of a place equals a less racist place (especially institutionally, structurally), my only observation is that in larger cities with more diversity there are less open, hostile incidents than say a small town in the rural US with very little diversity—North or South. So I feel more comfortable in most parts of Houston than I would in a small town in Idaho or Ohio any day of the week.
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 4:01 am ¶
Mammith wrote:
@Paul, you have to remember not all Muslim states are the same, you have society’s like Turkey and Morocco that are varying levels of Secular, just as you have Christian countries on that same scale. Not everywhere is Iran.
@atlasien, I had a similar experience in one English class, when (for some bizzare reason) we started talking about religion, me and one of my friends were asked and we were honest about our irreligion, immediately we were attacked on all sides for our immorality in what descended into a class of 30 shouting at us, including the teacher.
@Mylie, a lot of girls in my experience have chosen to adopt the scarf of their own accord its true, but by the same token I’ve known quite few girls forced into it. Or even one girl I knew who pretended to want to wear one but told me in private she’d just done it to shut her parents up.
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 4:46 am ¶
DivergentDana wrote:
Wouldn’t the appropriate parallel be “those countries who refuse to allow homosexuality, atheism, women’s rights etc, have no right to criticize the U.S.?” Why would Muslims in the U.S., many of whom were born in America, be held accountable for the actions of those countries? You’re conflating faith and nationality…. unless Muslims from the Philippines, U.S., Turkey and England are somehow responsible for Saudi/Iranian laws in some way that you can explain to the class. Make sure to speak up, now.
That being said, I did research for a group presentation on the treatment of Tibetan women in China, and somebody needs to criticize the hell outta China, but I suspect you’ve built a nice straw man here, so I’ll jaunt off to the China/Olympics post and get further informed.
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 6:33 am ¶
Abu Sinan wrote:
@Saffiyah and Lucky Fatima,
I guess I should have mentioned the issue of hijab wearing white converts when I was talking about white privledge and white converts to Islam.
Even the white convert to Islam wearing a beard will get a pass, a sister in hijab wont get the same pass. The assumption is made that they are not “regular Americans” and that they must be from somewhere besides the USA.
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 7:02 am ¶
gatamala wrote:
Thanks Shawna for sharing something so personal.
As difficult as it is for you (and as troubling as it is for Paul), the country needs to know that you were almost killed by another student because of your religion. We need to know who we really are.
The ostracism and outright child abuse you experienced is downright sickening. As a black girl, I had your sister’s birthday [lack of] experience too. I haven’t experienced as much religious prejudice, but as an atheist (growing up in the Bible Belt is part of this) I can sure as hell empathize.
It is typical that the arrogance of those who purport to follow and convert in the name of the “Prince of Peace” enables adults to overtly shun a child.
Well, Paul…as you and Shawna have demonstrated, WE have more in common with THEM than you think.
& yes NWMD is a vile film.
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 8:57 am ¶
Paul wrote:
[Mod Note - Paul, you are working my last nerve. You act like a troll on the majority of these threads about Islam and I am seriously about to ban you. One more time, since you don’t seem to get it - this is Shawna’s personal narrative about her experiences. Thea’s piece on the Olympics was more of a discussion of media disparities in reporting, not a “those without sin, cast the first stone” style missive. Either way, what you are saying IS NOT APPROPRIATE on this thread. One more comment like that and you are banned from the conversation. Think I’m playing, then try it again. - LDP]
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 9:24 am ¶
Paul wrote:
[You are banned from conversation. - LDP]
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 9:27 am ¶
Dawud wrote:
Paul, you’re always welcome to post your Islamophobic and bigoted comments on my blog where you can get an ole’ fashion thrashing.
On the personal tip, I think that most of us Muslims have been told to go back home or something to that effect. I love telling these bigots that my peeps have been here for over 300 years, I’ve had fam serve in the service since the Spanish-American War and I’m a veteran of the US Navy too!
The looks on their faces are PRICELESS. BIGOTS!
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 10:25 am ¶
Matt wrote:
All discrimination is unacceptable…This was a personal account of an encounter with breathtaking ignorance…But the values that make these challenges possible are those of the enlightenment…rational questioning. Shawna’s is right to question….but we must also question bigotry, homophobia and misogyny wherever we find it..including religion
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 10:33 am ¶
Thea Lim wrote:
@ Paul
My point that it’s hypocritical for Western MSM to criticise China’s human rights records while they cover up their own, is not analogous to your argument that we can’t abhor Islamophobia b/c Muslim countries lack religious freedom.
If you genuinely thought there was a parallel, and then got into shit on this thread for making a parallel I apologise. You misunderstood my point - I don’t know if you did so intentionally or not.
Here it is again: More often than not villifying other countries that we see as foreign/backward is a cover for
a) racism
b) hiding our own oppressive behaviour. Western MSM gains from not talking about human rights violations in their own countries.
Your argument is not analogous to mine because Muslims/Arabs/South Asians/Middle Easterners/people who have no association with Islam but are presumed to/etc who live in America have no hand or responsibility or gain whatsoever in the oppressive actions of Islamic governments.
My argument was that the villification of China without an examination of our own consciences was hypocritical. In order for your argument to work, Muslims in America have to have the oppression of non-Muslims in Islamic countries on their consciences. They don’t - why would they? They have no hand in that.
The belief that “we can’t talk about x without talking about y” only stands up if there is some sort of relationship between x and y. There is no relationship between Islamophobia in America and oppressive Islamic governments. It’s a bit like saying “we can’t criticise Islamophobia because garment workers in India don’t have basic rights.” That’s an absurd comment - they have nothing to do with one another.
For the record I actually never suggested that there was a rule of “no x without y!”. I said in the context of China it frustrated me that a non-Western country was being taken to task by Western countries for behaviour Western countries engages in. I see this behaviour replicated in a lot of different places and spaces. That doesn’t mean there is a rule.
It was actually a commenter on my post who extrapolated that rule from it. I don’t really sanction rules when it comes to analysis. There are too many factors for tidy rules!
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 11:21 am ¶
Thea Lim wrote:
@ Torontonian:
“As I recall, only Thea agreed with “you don’t have a right to talk about X unless you talk about Y in the same breath”. I certainly don’t agree with it, for this reason.”
Aha! I never said that. I was talking about a specific context in my post on the Olympics. I think it was atlasien who suggested that rule, and then we talked it out.
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 11:32 am ¶
Joseph wrote:
@Matt
“the values that make these challenges possible are those of the enlightenment…”
Matt, I understand what you are getting at here–but this isn’t exactly true. Yes, in the west the enlightenment, which separated religious and temporal discourses, is the yardstick–but it isn’t the only way to ask tough questions, by a long shot. Islamic societies have mechanisms for discussion, interpretation and dissent–within the context of religion–that do not have western parallels because religious and temporal concerns remain intertwined. Surely you must be familiar with similar traditions with Judaism? The mechanisms are similar in many ways.
I don’t think this is your intent in your post–but holding up enlightenment “rationality” as the only way to express minority views is an old trope used to marginalize the east. I have made this point several times already on this site but–reading feminists from the Middle East puts this into perspective. There are Islamic women who argue against polygamy or veiling (to use two hot-button issues for westerners as an example) because they are not supported by the Q’uran–but rather by particular interpretations. So their arguments are framed as part of a religious/cultural tradition that does not separate morals and ethics–rather than a western, enlightenment one that does: but they are no less “rational” in their own context.
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 11:40 am ¶
Shawna wrote:
Thank you for reading and responding. I feel for all of you that have had a similar experience. Hopefully by voicing our experiences in an open and constructive dialogue, we will be able to change our situation for the better. That’s why I love Racialicious.
And @ Matt (”Shawna’s is right to question….but we must also question bigotry, homophobia and misogyny wherever we find it..including religion”), amen.
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 12:18 pm ¶
Fatemeh wrote:
YAY! DING, DONG, the Paul is banned!
Great job, all of those of you who stood up to his Islamophobic attacks.
I’m also pretty shocked at how many other people saw Not Without My Daughter in school. W. T. F.!
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 1:15 pm ¶
Meredith wrote:
Your experiences in Arkansas make me sad and ashamed of our country. With the unique experiences, culture, and point-of-view your family had to offer, you should have been celebrated, honored, and welcomed by the community instead of shunned and even attacked.
But it is heartening to hear that your dad had the opportunity to share stories in front of your class. I wish that kind of situation were the rule instead of the exception.
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 1:33 pm ¶
Elizabeth wrote:
Shawna,
You’re story was very well written and truly touching. I am so sorry that you had to experience those things, and I hope you know that there are many (although perhaps not as vocal) Americans of all ethnicities and religions that do not share those idiotic hatreds.
One thing that no one has mentioned in this thread, though, is the role to which it is acceptable to be anti-Islam in a political forum. Yesterday in my blog, I wrote about one of the Hillary Clinton supporters at the Denver Convention, who in an interview with Chris Matthews, claimed that she had a Congressional report saying Obama was a “registered Muslim,” and that therefore he is not qualified to be president. I cannot for the life of me understand why no prominent political figures have said “so what if he is Muslim?” instead of hysterically announcing how Christian he is. Politicians should not treat his being called Muslim as an insult - a factual error perhaps - but by denying it with such vehemence and never pointing out that people like that women are simply bigots, they give their tacit approval. If you get a chance, I’d love you to read it and let me know what you think - http://machiavelli20.blogspot.com.
To Jehanzeb, I don’t at all disagree that the Danish cartoons were offensive and insensitive, not at all. But I do believe that while I wouldn’t have done them, people must have the right to be offensive because once we start limiting free speech due to offensive, we get onto a slippery path. There are countless people whose opinions I really wish I did not have to hear, and I thought the cartoons were really inappropriate, but I think that for the sake of a free society, even if I find something like that offensive, I’ll defend their right to say it. I think the bigger problem for overcoming Islamophobia is not those cartoons, but rather a widespread view that associates the most radical Muslims with ordinary people - we need to get people to a place where they understand that al Qaeda is no more representative of all Muslims than the KKK is of all Christians, and a large part of that must come, as I said earlier, from the political/social/artistic leadership saying that its completely bigoted and it needs to stop.
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 1:39 pm ¶
MeowKun wrote:
Shawna I truly feel for you (and feeling sorry for you because you got strangled becauseof your faith).
Althought right now I am somwhere b/w an theist/Orthodox Christian/agnostic, I did grew up in a Chinese-Evangelical background and they do tend to bash any non-Protestant faith; and of course , do everything they can do to “save” people.
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 3:43 pm ¶
Jehanzeb wrote:
Elizabeth,
I respect your opinions and I’m happy to hear that you agree that those cartoons are offensive and insensitive. However, I believe the word “freedom” becomes abstract to me sometimes. If someone has the freedom to be intolerant and racist, then doesn’t the victim have the freedom to be treated as an equal?
When Heath Ledger passed away, there were a group of extremists who wanted to protest at his funeral because he played a gay cowboy in “Brokeback Mountain.” People were saying, “oh they have the freedom to protest,” but what about Mr. Ledger’s family and friends? Don’t they have the freedom to grieve in peace? Don’t they have the right to not put up with homophobic behavior??
So, often times, I just wonder: Where do you draw the line? If we’re going to say that people should have the right to draw offensive and insulting cartoons that vilify and ENTIRE GROUP OF PEOPLE and a religion, then does that mean we should allow people to wear “I hate black people” signs?
If your objective is to be offensive towards people, how does that improve society? How does that make relations between various groups of people better? The answer is that it doesn’t improve anything, it only divides. So when people react violently towards racism and prejudice, I see that as an emotional reaction. There are REASONS why people behave the way they do, and it’s because they’re being provoked. Instead of saying “we must uphold freedom of expression,” our society should be looking for the root causes of the problem. Yes, we know we must uphold freedom of expression, but that’s not the issue here. The issue is to figure out WHY people are drawing racist and prejudice things, and to figure out WHY people are behaving violently towards it. It’s better to understand the ROOT of the problem rather than try to solve the symptoms. That’s why the Middle-East is a mess because our so-called “world leaders” and politicians don’t understand that.
People may be allowed to express themselves however they please, but as long as they have the freedom to do that, then Muslims and other targeted groups also must be recognized as having the freedom to speak out against hatred and be heard. We heard about the Danish cartoons, and CAIR (Council on American-Islamic Relations) responded by holding seminars on the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. How many people heard about that?
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 4:12 pm ¶
Juan wrote:
I often thought the whole ”policing offensiveness is a slippery slope/deprivation of freedom/leads us into a police state” was just bullshit. And I still do.
Sure, people do/should have the ‘freedom’ to express themselves and their opinions but it should never trump someone’s ‘freedom’ to be treated and felt like a human being and equal.
Jehanzeb,
I think I know what group you’re talking about. There was talk about them planning to do the same at Bernie Mac’s funeral. Not sure if they did though.
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 5:06 pm ¶
TVOR wrote:
@DivergentDana “You’re conflating faith and nationality…. unless Muslims from the Philippines, U.S., Turkey and England are somehow responsible for Saudi/Iranian laws in some way that you can explain to the class. Make sure to speak up, now.” - He was conflating faith and nationality in a very very similar way to that of many muslim leaders (and blog posters) throughout the world when they say that the war on terror is a war on Islam.
Because the countries being targetted are majority muslim countries this is being used in mosques and madrasses all over the world to stir up anti-western feelings. ‘They are killing our muslim brothers’ etc etc.
What’s actually happening is that civillians are dying in military attacks, an unfortunate fact of war but it is no more to do with the fact that they are muslims than the fact they are wearing clothes. It is entirely to to with the fact that they are citizens of a country at war.
We need to define our terms in a clearer manner, a cause that is not aided by tag lines like ‘war on terror is a war on Islam’. This clarity needs to be promoted by parties on both sides of the debate. Both by western leaders and leaders in the middle east. We are either in a legitimate war, or we are in a religious war.
@Xox, I agree as an atheist that all religion is open to, and should be more widely open to criticism. The unfortunate fact is that the world has been dragged into a stupid conflict which is ostensibly between two childish outlooks on the world arguing about whose imaginary friend is better.
Peace is the basis of islam and christianity to about the same extent that profiteering is the basis of Marxism. If either religion were based in peace then atrocities would not be carried out, and would not have gone on for thousands of years in their names. An example of a religion whose basis is truly peaceful can be seen in examination of budhism in practice. The Dalai Lama openly condemned a buddhist monk who during the course of a protest in Burma (where buddhists had been beaten tortured starved and killed) kicked a policeman.
If only violence was abhored with the same strength by the supposedly peace-loving muslims and christians in power today the world might be a very different place.
Christianity is not peaceful, Islam is not peaceful. A basic look through the ‘holy’ books of either faith will be enough to discourage any but the most gullible reader of this fact. Encitement to religious hatred recently became a crime in England, I have a good mind to report anyone I see selling or promoting copies of the Qu’ran or the Bible.
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 8:27 pm ¶
saviya.c wrote:
I also saw not without my daughter in grade 8. It was in a ‘geography’ class. It was the most awkward thing ever. Seriously, is that the best movie they can find? Whatever happened to good old educational documentaries?
The funny thing is, when we learn about Greece and Rome in geography or history classes, we never hear about the fact that women were treated poorly in that civilization, we only hear about the ’splendor’ and ‘democracy’ and ‘architecture’.
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 8:33 pm ¶
summer wrote:
thanks, luckyfatima.
speaking as a former arkansan, that was an isolated (though despicable) experience that is not necessarily indicative of all arkansas towns. though it’s not the same, we had an indian girl (of the hindu religion) join our class in the 5th grade. first and only indian family during our whole school career. my town had 8,081 people. and yet, radha was never harassed, and in fact, was voted “best all around” in senior year.
just had to stand up for arkansas in the comment section. carry on.
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 10:47 pm ¶
John wrote:
A very touching story.
Here is another aspect of “Muslim phobia”. Let me give you a little information first. My ethnic background is Armenian. Technically I am an orthodox christian, but not religious by any stretch of the imagination.
I cannot tell you how often people give me dirty looks as I go about my business in the streets of Toronto. A few times, people have even spit in my direction as they do this.
I have had conversations with Portuguese and Italian co-workers, and they get the same thing. There is unbelievable paranoia and ignorance out there!
Posted 27 Aug 2008 at 11:51 pm ¶
Traveler wrote:
Shawna, this should be required reading for the thousands of people who keep insisting that America is “the most welcoming nation” and “is open to all kinds of people.” Because it’s not. I can’t relate exactly to your experiences of discrimination based on religion, but I’ve been on the end of racial discrimination. Additionally, when I lived in America, people would make bigoted comments about Muslims, maybe because they expected me to espouse their same beliefs, which I don’t, and then I would just make them feel embarassed.
I had never heard of Not Without My Daughter until I read this thread. Is it really anti-Iranian and anti-Islam? i just read the wikipedia article and it seems like it’s just one woman’s story. I’m not trying to be inflammatory, I’mgenuinely asking. Or is the issue more the fact that people were seeing it in school and it was an inappropriate place and there were better, more relevant films to be used in the classroom?
Shawna, I’m appalled at the abuse that you suffered at the hands of your classmates, their parents, and your teachers, but thank you so much for writing this post.
Posted 28 Aug 2008 at 12:47 am ¶
pete wrote:
As someone of mixed race who grew up in a very racially and ethnically mixed big city I always find myself shuddering with horror at tales of what its like to b e the only X in your town/school (where X translates to ‘black person’ , ‘Muslim’, ‘Jewish person’, gay or whatever). It tends to make me want to never move out of the city.
Funnily enough there are small areas of this country (UK) that are majority Muslim and not long ago there was a story in the media about the only non-Muslim family in their area/school. Their experience was nothing like this, though there clearly was a subtle pressure to conform (despite not converting, the girl took to wearing the hijab I think and the kids ended up with an encyclopaedic knowledge of the Koran).
Of course its not really the same as in the country as a whole Muslims are a minority.
Posted 28 Aug 2008 at 2:59 am ¶
Rchoudh wrote:
Reading this made me sad. When I was growing up in NYC back in the late 80’s/early 90’s, I had somewhat similar experiences to this though not at an openly hostile level. It was like having to deal with ignorance more than outright hatred. In Junior High I and an Egyptian girl were the only Muslim students in our predominantly white school. Since people back then were really ignorant about Islam they just assumed we were something other than that. So we became crypto-Muslims in a sense; she passed herself off as being white while I was constantly asked whether I was an Indian Hindu. Whenever I tried to explain that I was Muslim I would get replies like,” Aren’t Hindus and Muslims the same people?”
My and the poster’s experience does have alot to do with being an invisible tiny minority in a predominantly white setting. Today my old junior high school is more diverse and has a relatively large Muslim student body. My cousins who go there now therefore don’t face any of the same experiences I did. Instead of being crypto Muslims they have to openly serve as ambassadors for Islam.
Posted 28 Aug 2008 at 9:20 am ¶
Joseph wrote:
@TVOR
“What’s actually happening is that civillians are dying in military attacks, an unfortunate fact of war but it is no more to do with the fact that they are muslims than the fact they are wearing clothes. It is entirely to to with the fact that they are citizens of a country at war.”
Seriously?
That is a stunning reduction of a complex, political interaction into coloring-book terms. Look, I get it: you are an atheist, “all religions are bad” blah, blah blah…But please don’t kid yourself that because you are using a putatively “progressive” ideology to dismiss violence rooted in orientalist/Islamophobic bigotry that it is any different than, say, a “Christian” who thinks making war on Islamic societies is “biblical” and therefore justified.
It is the same shit, with a different name.
“…wearing clothes…” Can you believe this guy?
Posted 28 Aug 2008 at 11:52 am ¶
Jehanzeb wrote:
TVOR,
I believe you have a big misunderstanding about Christianity and Islam. Every religion essentially teaches you to be a good person, because at the heart of every religion, there is a spiritual and mystical foundation. Thinking of religion as an institutionalized system is not the same as thinking of religion as a Way of Life. Organized religion is more outward and literal; spirituality is more inward and symbolic.
I have many Christian friends who are very spiritual and devout, and to me, they represent what Christianity truly stands for. Because a Christian is an individual who follows the example of Jesus (peace be upon him).
Blaming wars and violence on religion is really unfair because you’re excluding many other factors that contribute to conflict and violence in the world. Throughout the history of humankind, there have been Empires that sought to dominate the world. Regardless of their intentions, there have been many leaders who were corrupted by greed and power. A tyrant, for example, may use religion to mobilize and inspire his citizens, but it doesn’t mean that he represents what the religion stands for.
Bush uses Biblical terms and verses to justify his occupation in the Middle-East, but there have been many pastors and priests who denounce him. It’s really just bad theology. There are many extremists in the U.S. who believe this is a war between Christianity and Islam, but when it comes to the U.S. government, this war is about imperialism.
Saying the deaths of innocent Iraqi civilians is an “unfortunate act of war” is to cover up the fact that HUMAN BEINGS are being killed. When America is attacked, the entire nation gets angry at the “other” and wants revenge. But when Iraqi is bombed, it’s perceived as “collateral damage.” And then we call them “terrorists” for fighting back.
Being atheist doesn’t mean people are immune to arrogance, and it doesn’t mean you can’t learn to appreciate other cultures, religions, and other walks of life.
Posted 28 Aug 2008 at 12:18 pm ¶
Jehanzeb wrote:
sorry, I meant “unfortunate fact of war.”
Posted 28 Aug 2008 at 12:20 pm ¶
Matt wrote:
It’s a common name, so just in case, let me note that wasn’t me. And it’s not the sort of thing I think I’d argue for. In fact, the actual Enlightenment was often fought between philosemites and antisemites over whether Jews could be assimilated into Christian society. While I support Enlightenment values generally, I’m wary of the ways they can be manipulated to attack multiculturalism.
Posted 28 Aug 2008 at 12:35 pm ¶
Joseph wrote:
@Matt
Oop…thanks for the clarification. My bad.
Posted 28 Aug 2008 at 12:53 pm ¶
Dawud wrote:
@TVOR - “He was conflating faith and nationality in a very very similar way to that of many muslim leaders (and blog posters) throughout the world when they say that the war on terror is a war on Islam.”
Are you high? The reason why Muslim leaders and bloggers say that the so-called “war on terror” is a war on Islam is because of the frame in which the “war on terror” has been set. Terror has been made synonomous with Islam in the majority of American’s minds. Ask the Obama campaign!
When was the last time that we’ve heard the US “war on terror” in reference to Hindu/Marxist Tamil Tigers (the world’s leading suicide bombing group for over 2 decades) in Sri Lanka, ETA fighters in Basque region of Spain, or the Christian Identity Movement that gave birth to McVeigh and probably “inspired” those dudes to plot on Obama in Denver?
Who have been the victims of torture at Gitmo Bay, Abu Ghraib, and in illegal prisons via extraordinary rendition? How about detentions via the Patroit Act that yield no convictions? What about Bush calling the war in Iraq a “Crusade” or when he said that we have a war against “Islamo-fascists”?
I haven’t even mentioned how this plays out in the media and the entertainment industry.
Get real!
Posted 28 Aug 2008 at 3:39 pm ¶
napthia9 wrote:
Re: Life in the Midwest
One of the most jaw-droppingly obvious moments of sheer cluelessness in my high school career is when my art teacher gave us a quiz where one of the questions was “What country does Islamic art come from?”… and the answer was ISLAM.
She had absolutely no idea that Islam was a religion, not a country. Just genuine, complete shock.
Posted 29 Aug 2008 at 8:23 pm ¶
luckyfatima wrote:
@summer, I am very late but didn’t have good net access to check this…but anywayz, my point wasn’t to absolve the South, but just to point out that being “the only Indian girl” isn’t easier in North or South and may I respectfully say to you that even if she never expressed that she was openly harassed, I am have a hunch that she suffered multitudes of little comments, feelings of isolation directly related to being “other,” and other experiences of being “the only one.” Even though she seemed like she was so happy and she was class prez. But it wouldn’t have been different in Arkansas then in a town of similar dynamics in Oregon or Ohio. That was my only input.
Posted 01 Sep 2008 at 12:36 am ¶
Kyle wrote:
I am a Midwesterner, from the “Buckle of the Bible belt”, Missouri. I am sorry for your experiences, we are not all like that. I faced some troubles because I am athiest, but respect others beliefs, I have never tried to “convert” anyone, yet the attempt to convert me still goes on to this day. Have faith in Allah, and in time you will be accepted for the person you are. Peace.
Posted 01 Oct 2008 at 10:10 pm ¶
Rallie wrote:
Thanks for sharing that. It always upsets me when I see Americans attacking Islam and Muslims, because 9 times out of 10, they don’t even know what the F*ck they’re talking about.
Posted 11 Oct 2008 at 6:38 pm ¶