Open Thread: Misogyny, Race, and Comedy

by Latoya Peterson

I am opening a separate thread on this because it is difficult not to ignore. (I just did not want it discussed while discussing the New Yorker cover.)

So, while at a Obama fundraiser, Bernie Mac decided to perform his usual schtick*:

Speaking to about 600 donors at a downtown hotel, Mac joked that he did not understand why Obama would want to run for president.

“I’m proud of him because politics is dirty, especially with Republicans,” he said. “People like rumors. They are going to say things like, you know, ‘You was in the club with Lil’ Kim and you and Kanye West got in a fist fight.’”

Mac went on to riff about hope and offering himself as a running mate, but then added that the campaign might not want him because “I cuss,” which he did, according to a pool report of the event.

“Being a president is tough ’cause you’re not just running the country. You got to run your family too,” Mac said. “Having a black first lady is different. You’re still going have to do the dishes and the laundry and all that…’You got to pick up the kids. You didn’t pick up the kids?’ ‘I just came from Korea, talking about nuclear weapons.’ ‘You were on Air Force One and you couldn’t stop to pick up the kids?’”

He then decided to pull out this hoary old joke:

Toward the end of a 10-minute standup routine at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in downtown Chicago, the 50-year-old star of “The Bernie Mac Show” joked about menopause, sexual infidelity and promiscuity, and used occasional crude language.

“My little nephew came to me and he said, ‘Uncle, what’s the difference between a hypothetical question and a realistic question?’” Mac said. “I said, I don’t know, but I said, ‘Go upstairs and ask your mother if she’d make love to the mailman for $50,000.’”

As the joke continued, the punchline evoked an angry response from at least one person in the audience, who said it was offensive to women.

[Ed Note - Joke ends like this: The joke continued with the mother saying she’d sleep “with anyone” for $50,000 — and then continuing to include Mac’s daughter hypothetically answering the question in the same way . “Hypothetically speaking, we should have $100,000. But realistically speaking we live with two hos.” (Source)]

“It’s not funny. Let’s get Barack on,” a man shouted from the crowd, which paid $2,300 each to support the Illinois senator.

About 15 minutes later, Obama tried to smooth things over with a joke of his own.

“We can’t afford to be divided by race. We can’t afford to be divided by region or by class and we can’t afford to be divided by gender, which by the way, that means, Bernie, you’ve got to clean up your act next time,” Obama said. “This is a family affair. By the way, I’m just messing with you, man.”

I made this post an open discussion because there are many different angles from which to view this situation:

1. Why are “universal” jokes ones about gender, including the differences between men and women’s roles in the home?

2. Is there a such thing as an “in house” joke? Why would Bernie Mac tell black-oriented jokes to a mixed crowd?

3. Why would he even go there with the “two whores” joke at a political function? Why is that joke so popular anyway? And is there a deeper aspect to be explored within black gender relations as to why the joke is troubling on multiple levels?

4. What is with Bernie Mac calling Barack a “man’s man?” Does that put his comments into a different light?

5. Why do so many jokes involving black comedians when speaking about the Obamas revolve around images of a demanding, castrating Michelle expecting Barack to jump on demand?

6. Was this a wise message to send as Barack is courting the “women” vote? I am not so sure what the women vote means - it is simpler to say the HRC voters, but it is being presented as a monolithic women vote.

7. Why is it that when I first heard about this story, I zeroed in on the black first lady joke and paid little to no mind to the whore joke. Melissa McEwan focused on the whore joke, and added the black first lady part as an after-thought. I am wondering what that says about how different groups of women approach gender based attacks.

8. There is a larger question of how gender/gender roles are approached in marginalized communities, but I am pretty sure that is going to have to be its own thread. But, in the meantime, feel free to leave your ideas.

The above eight main ideas are what I took from the situation. Feel free to discuss and debate those, or add your own.

Floor is open.

*What is it with people hiring certain comedians and not paying attention to the content of their work? It reminds me of the Black Enterprise/Eddie Griffin gaffe.

Trackbacks & Pings

  1. Random Black Guy Post July 19, 2008 « Regularblackguy’s Weblog on 19 Jul 2008 at 11:41 pm

    […] Open Thread: Misogyny, Race, and Comedy via Racialicious - the intersection of race and pop culture by Latoya Peterson on 7/15/08 […]

  2. La Chola » Blog Archive » Holy Smokes–Bernie Mac passes away. on 09 Aug 2008 at 10:46 am

    […] For more about the social and cultural complications of a good comedian, see racialicious. […]

Comments

  1. DEAF FEMINIST PUNK!! wrote:

    blahhhh. I’ve never been into stand-up comedy too much.

    It’s VERY easy to make whore jokes and to mock Michelle Obama.

    It doesn’t require much creativity and intelligence to think of fresh original jokes that doesnt use mysogyny (or racism).

  2. Thea wrote:

    So when Obama said “I’m just messing with you, man?” was he joking, or was he joking about joking? All this satire is giving me a headache.

    I sure hope that he was actually chastising Bernie Mac. While Obama talks a lot of gender equity, when he has his guard down he’s made a teeny few slip-ups that makes it seem like he’s committed to gender equity in theory and policy, but not in practice. For eg, the time he responded to a journalist’s question about autoworkers rights by saying “Hold on a sec, sweetie.” And oh yeah, the journalist was a woman.
    http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/2008/05/16/sweetie/

    To respond:
    2. Is there a such thing as an “in house” joke? Why would Bernie Mac tell black-oriented jokes to a mixed crowd?

    I actually think that telling jokes for a non-white audience to a mixed audience can be subversive and effective. Considering that most mainstream comedy is not actually mainstream but white comedy, POC comedy for a mixed audience or even a white audience readjusts the “default race”, and includes white folks in POC spaces without taking the focus off of POC experiences.

    Though I don’t think that Bernie Mac’s comedy in this situation actually did that.

  3. Minotaar wrote:

    I think comedians, especially those who are better known, like Bernie Mac, have a huge repertoire of jokes to tell. However, once they get comfortable on stage, my guess is that they sort of go on autopilot, and stop really thinking about what jokes they can tell. There is a limit to the amount of pre-consideration that any human being can do before telling a joke, and still be funny. Sadly, Bernie doesnt seem to be able to do enough. I guess they couldnt book Dave Chapelle?

  4. georica wrote:

    i don’t have a problem with the jokes.

    i think the bookers should have been well aware of Bernie Mac and his routine.

    if they weren’t, then they should’ve familarized themselves before they confirmed him.

    to me, it all seems like feigned outrage.

  5. G. Leigh wrote:

    I agree with you on many things, but I do think that joke was funny. I know if it was told in my family we would all laugh. If I do have any criticism of Bernie Mac in this instance, it is that perhaps this joke is the kind of thing that should have been kept amongst ‘the folks’. A good Black mother IS tough–mine was, and we do tell loving jokes about her putting us in our place in her various ways. I would rather hear a joke about a Black woman nagging a man to “pick up the kids”, which at least is reponsible behavior. It’s a better image than the shit that’s out there that is about us being nasty, welfare-loving, baby mama, crack-doing, elaborate nail-wearing, whoring, gold-digging hos who can’t speak proper English.

  6. Latoya Peterson wrote:

    @G. Leigh -

    Which joke did you find funny? I am specifically talking about two of Mac’s bits - the whore joke and the black first lady joke.

  7. Fatemeh wrote:

    Did I miss something? What’s the whore joke?

  8. Latoya Peterson wrote:

    Oh, crap, the punchline isn’t in there.

    I’ll correct the piece in a minute.

    The Black First Lady joke:

    “Being a president is tough ’cause you’re not just running the country. You got to run your family too,” Mac said. “Having a black first lady is different. You’re still going have to do the dishes and the laundry and all that…’You got to pick up the kids. You didn’t pick up the kids?’ ‘I just came from Korea, talking about nuclear weapons.’ ‘You were on Air Force One and you couldn’t stop to pick up the kids?’”

    The Whores Joke:

    “My little nephew came to me and he said, ‘Uncle, what’s the difference between a hypothetical question and a realistic question?’ I said, ‘I don’t know,’ but I said, ‘I’ll tell you what you do. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she’d make love to the mailman for $50,000 …” The joke continued with the mother saying she’d sleep “with anyone” for $50,000 — and then continuing to include Mac’s daughter hypothetically answering the question in the same way . “Hypothetically speaking, we should have $100,000. But realistically speaking we live with two hos.”

  9. Marge Twain wrote:

    “We can’t afford to be divided by race. We can’t afford to be divided by region or by class and we can’t afford to be divided by gender, which by the way, that means, Bernie, you’ve got to clean up your act next time,” Obama said. “This is a family affair. By the way, I’m just messing with you, man.”

    This bothers me. I think he may have been trying to cover all his bases here since it’s been common for him to make vague statements that can be interpreted any way, like a Rorschach test. He also seems to be mocking his own unity theme as it applies to women, which bothers me but doesn’t surprise me. He’s made clear statements that he doesn’t need to do anything to get our vote and he shouldn’t have to.

    #7 When I went looking for articles on this event yesterday few of them included both of the offensive jokes or any quote from the event exept from the statement of regret from an aide afterward, in response to a reporter. I haven’t been able to find a transcript. The AP article Melissa McEwan used to write her piece did not include the black first lady joke.

    @georica and Minotaar: It’s highly unlikely BM’s jokes weren’t vetted in advance by the campaign. Obaama’s comments would likely have been also.

  10. gatamala wrote:

    A good Black mother IS tough–mine was, and we do tell loving jokes about her putting us in our place in her various ways. I would rather hear a joke about a Black woman nagging a man to “pick up the kids”, which at least is reponsible behavior.

    Mammy and Sapphire!!!

    A good black mother…why the housewife/ho dichotomy?

    Is your self-perception/perception of black women so bleak that you take comfort in the lesser of two evils stereotype?

    ****

    If this is the kind of stuff that we want to keep in-house, than there is no sanctuary anywhere.

  11. Slush wrote:

    I’m sorry but I think Obama kind of sucks on most of his gender-related politics. The thing that keeps me going in that department is that Michelle makes up for it a bit.

    “I’m just kidding you, man” undermines his entire statement. It says, don’t worry, I’m one of the boys, and I won’t go giving any of them a hard time for being misogynist because I know that’s how the world is and I’m not trying to ruin the status quo. Just like during the sexism melee against Clinton.

    On top of that, I agree with the feminists who gave him a hard time about his recent take on late term abortions. It’s nothing new from him, but I wasn’t impressed before and I’m still not.

    He hardly ever addresses women’s issues or sexism, and has been known to be condescending and paternalistic to women. He also had a crazy anti-gay religious zealot on his campaign telling people that Jesus had saved him from homosexuality. That was gross. I don’t think that reflects Obama’s personal position, but it sure as hell showed how much concern he has for gay Americans. A gay-sensitive candidate would just never make a gaff like that.

    I’ve never heard him talk about equal pay concerns or public childcare. (Which I am fully aware does not mean that he never talks about those issues. But it means they’re not high profile for him.)

    I don’t say this because I think he’s worse than other politicans - not at all - or because I won’t vote for him, but because I do want the left to take him to task for these things. If he’s a progressive he better fucking listen up about women’s issues.

    So Bernie Mac - yeah, more of the same.

  12. KXB wrote:

    I can’t fault the Mac Man - gotta fault the organizers who said it would be a good idea to have him. Same thing happened when Stephen Colbert did the WH Correspondents Dinner under Bush and when Don Imus did it under Clinton. If you don’t want edgy humor to distract attention from the politician, don’t invite them.

  13. Fatemeh wrote:

    Ew, Bernie Mac. EW!

    I agree with Slush; the “I’m kidding you” undermines the entire deal, making it a kind of tacit approval for Bernie Mac’s comedy routine.

    The organizers, too, should have known what Mac’s comedy entails.

    There’s plenty of blame to go around.

  14. boogaloobaby wrote:

    Warning!!!

    Do NOT invite comedians who “work blue” to perform at your political events/fundraisers. So, leave off of your list: Bernie Mac, Wanda Sykes, Paul Mooney, Lisa Lampanelli, Dave Atell…heck, leave all comics off of your list, because comics don’t do “politically correct”, “politically safe” humour. Although, Sinbad is probably a safe bet.

  15. Penni Brown wrote:

    the thing i noticed about these kinds of jokes is that the black people telling them attribute certain behaviors to black people only. its become obvious to me that alot of these behaviors (stereotypes) associated with one particular group, really can be attributed to most people. to call michelle a ball buster b/c she’s black is to ignore HRC who was labeled the same and she’s white. to assume that only black mothers ‘don’t play’ is to ignore a whole segment of ‘other’ mothers that i’ve seen rip their kids a new one for stepping out of line. i think these race jokes are tired and played out.

    oh yeah, and race jokes aside, there is a time and place for everything. I’m not going to be at dinner with my grandma and her friends and go into a joke about ho’s. it’s just inappropriate and bernie should know better.

  16. Black Canseco wrote:

    I’m from Chi. I know Mac. He’s cool people; I think he’s funny,but i get that he doesn’t work for everybody.

    I combat bigotry and mysogyny as much as anyone, but excuse me if i missed the part where Bernie called Michelle Obama a whore.

    The joke is what constitutes a whore. What everyone’s assuming is that the punchline isn’t the question, but an answer that was never given. We’re assuming that if asked,Michelle Obama–in the context of this joke–would say, “sure, I’ll sleep with the mailman.”

    Let’s be honest, we define whoredom, not by who someone marries, but by what price someone’s willing to put on their bodies, sexual expressions, and in a metaphorical sense, their integrity and talents.

    That’s not what happened here at all. not even close.

  17. Arturo wrote:

    1. Why are “universal” jokes ones about gender, including the differences between men and women’s roles in the home?

    The theory, I suppose, is that “everyone” — or at least, everyone in whatever the target audience is — will get or relate to the joke.

    2. Is there a such thing as an “in house” joke? Why would Bernie Mac tell black-oriented jokes to a mixed crowd?

    I can’t speak to the second half of this question, but as for the first: Yeah, I think there’s “in-house” jokes. Or, at least, that many people think, or like to think, that there’s instances and places where you can share “blue” humor or stories with people of similar social or economic backgrounds.

    5. Why do so many jokes involving black comedians when speaking about the Obamas revolve around images of a demanding, castrating Michelle expecting Barack to jump on demand?

    I think this parallels, ironically enough, jokes white comedians (and Republicans) made about the Clintons when Bill was President. I recall a sketch on SNL where “COPS” went to the Clintons’ home responding to a domestic dispute call and opening the door to find “Bill” with a black eye.

  18. Black Canseco wrote:

    If people want to be mad about something, let’s be mad about the fact that Bernie Mac must now join the Barack’s YGG Club.

    Every time someone of any stature affiliated with Obama makes a comment or a criticism that offends, it’s “You Gotta Go!” You gotta go or Barack will lose. You gotta go because you make Barack seem too black. You gotta go because you make barack seem too militant. You gotta go because you make barack seem like a regular politician. You gotta go because you make white people mad…

    I’ve never seen a national figure have to kick out, disavow, disassociate, disapprove, etc of so many people willing to ride for him simply to please people who probably won’t vote for/respect him anyway.

    With the possible exception of Samantha Powers and Tony Resko the YGG Club has an exclusively black membership.

    The outrage should be that Obama can’t stand his ground for the people he chooses without being dismissed by all as “see, i told you so–another ‘black politician’.

  19. Antonio wrote:

    here’s an old clip of chris rock introducing barack for comparison:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW7EbURS2h4

    He refers to Hillary as “that white lady”. But overall I think he does pretty well in keeping things tame.

    Having a comedian, especially one not particularly concerned with being PC, is just bad form for any formal event. Obama’s aides should’ve discussed what was appropriate material and what isn’t.

    I remember Whoopi Goldberg told a dirty joke at a Kerry event the night before the 2004 election. And I’ve heard Wanda Sykes has joke that says if Obama is elected black folks are gonna have to find “a new excuse” for not succeeding. This is the kind of stuff that might get laughs, but isn’t helpful for a candidate to associate him/herself with. An association of black professionals once threw Eddie Griffin off stage because he got in front of the crowd and started throwing around the n-word.

    As for Bernie Mac, he must not have been thinking or something. A joke about prostitution is beyond the pale, to say nothing of the sexism. Obama’s “I’m just playing with you man” is just disappointing.

  20. Marge Twain wrote:

    “6. Was this a wise message to send as Barack is courting the “women” vote?”

    I disagree with your underlying assumption here. I’m one of those women who wishes he wouldn’t make it so damn hard for me to support him. He doesn’t support us and he’s adamant against the percieved need for him to court us. He’s a very busy man, see? Obama:

    “However, I need to make a decision in the next few months as to how I manage that since I’m running against John McCain, which takes a lot of time. If women take a moment to realize that on every issue important to women, John McCain is not in their corner, that would help them get over it.”
    http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2008/06/not-quite-getting-it.html

    He also stated clearly, twice, that he would support rolling back the existing mental health provision for late-term abortions to what he calls “serious clinical mental-health diseases. It is not just a matter of feeling blue. “

  21. Joseph wrote:

    In the grand scheme I am way more upset by Obama’s support of the FISA bill (talk about something that needs its own thread!) than I am by Bernie Mac’s act or Obama’s response.

    Although the subtext is the same in both cases (I think): How much must we give away in order to get Obama elected?

  22. gatamala wrote:

    I combat bigotry and mysogyny as much as anyone, but excuse me if i missed the part where Bernie called Michelle Obama a whore.

    Nobody said he did.

    I think the umbrage is the “ho” joke at this type of event. (Why folks think comedians are a good bet I don’t know)

  23. Black Canseco wrote:

    gatamala,

    if Mac had been “cleaner” then he would’ve been fine. I just don’t think this particular joke was all that funny.

    I’m not picking up sandwich board or grabbing my hackey sack for the sit in over this one.

  24. shah8 wrote:

    Agreed with Black Canseco. I’m pretty sick of Obama throwing people overboard so quickly. I’ve just accepted that reality as the price of being a serious black canidate for the US.

    White supremacy is the rule here, and everybody who ain’t, gotta be on their best, nonthreatening behavior. Perhaps his supporters and subordinates will get more used to this reality and be more careful.

    However, at some point, this is like telling women to be careful at night in strange urban areas.

  25. Lynn wrote:

    Okay. Maybe I missed something, but it seems like Barack’s little tap on the wrist was anything *but* him throwing Bernie Mac overboard.

    And while I don’t think the joke about living with 2 hos was funny or original, did Bernie call black women hos? Or did he suggest that a woman who would sleep with a man for money is a ho? Because isn’t that sort of the definition?

    I’m disappointed, but not shocked or particularly offended. Just my opinion.

  26. OutcrazyOphelia wrote:

    5. Why do so many jokes involving black comedians when speaking about the Obamas revolve around images of a demanding, castrating Michelle expecting Barack to jump on demand?

    It’s a more universal theme. Black women are constructed as exceptionally emasculating and masculine and most of the talking points around Michelle focus around this theme. It’s an easy way to get laughs out of almost any audience because its what we’re taught to think of black women. It’s supposed to be funny to imagine a president subject to the emasculating influence of a black wife–supposedly.

  27. Ron wrote:

    I think BM should not have made that joke. We have to get to the point as black men that we look at black women as individuals and not some monolithic group with negative attributes.

    Jewish comedians make jokes about jewish mothers and/or jewish women but not in a heartless and mean spirited manner.

    We should rebuke BM and enlighten him.

  28. Nora wrote:

    I am so disappointed in Obama. From his recent comments about abortion to his calling a reporter “sweetie”, I’ve been forced to realize that he is the same old politician. I’m sick of so-called liberals who count on the super-progressives to give them their base and try to attract the moderates by giving up a little on their policies. I feel that voting for Nader or other third party candidates is the only way out of it. I mean, if evangelicals can make sure all politicians have to pander to them, why can’t real liberals?

  29. rain wrote:

    I didnt take he was calling Michelle Obama a whore.
    If anyone seen Kings of Comedy they would remember his sister is or was a smoker( aka crack head) the question was from his(Mac’s) nephew , so he said go ask your mother(Bernies sister)

    I dont know about anybody else, my grandmother takes no nonsense from anyone (husband ,child nor grandchild and she has been called a ball buster mostly by her sons when she’s not listening in a different state)and niether does most of the black women i know. I’m not saying other races of women are not independent and i was only raised by one race of women thats black and they raised me to be independent to take no sh!# you dont feel you deserve from anybody (men,women,the president to the queen of sheba) Michelle looks like she can take a joke and speak for her self and not so uptight that the words of Bearnie Mac can hurt her. She’s from south side Chicago she’s probably heard these jokes way befor us.

  30. rain wrote:

    the clean up you act was about in the political forums
    i’m just kidding part was i guess when he goes on HBO do what you like what your fans like what made you rich

    i guess the jokes did’nt get me all upset because i can take a joke,i can laugh at my self ,and i know me
    i’m not a whore (and seen Kings of Comedy)so the whore joke did’nt bother me. I can be an asshole so the ballbuster joke did not bother me

  31. Helena wrote:

    2 things…

    First, I agree with what was said that the jokes were…enh. Not that funny and not that appropriate for a fundraiser.

    Second: Regarding the people he “threw under a bus”

    1) Rev. Wright pointedly humiliated him and while I’m sympathetic to the black community’s suspicion of the white medical community (or the many white counterparts of “crazy ministers” on the right who offend me MORE, if anything)…. I’m not surprised if “mainstream” white voters are a little intimidated by a minister who says white people invented AIDS. (To be fair–it’s OBAMA running, not the damn minister).

    2) This might piss some of you off, to be reminded of it…the man is half WHITE, too. You frame it as if there’s added pressure to throw people under a bus mainly because they’re black–not for legitimate reasons or at least reasons unrelated to his need to “perform” for a hateful white audience.

    Maybe he’s “disowning” these people for legitimate reasons, or at least, reasons that are consistent with how he feels….not simply because in submission to soul-crushingly entitled, overly judgmental, nit-picking, irrational white people he’s courting. (Not that he isn’t having a problem with less-than-enlightened voters…those who would rule him out b/c he’s supposedly “Muslim” or because his wife is Bobby Seale in drag, etc. etc, fill in some hateful Fox News propoganda…)

    He’s not just running for people who can nod their heads when Wright says that the government invented AIDS or who laugh at late night stand-up on BET.

  32. Mike wrote:

    To me this was a bad pick.

    How did the booker or even Obama not know what Bernie’s routine was like?

    2. Is there a such thing as an “in house” joke? Why would Bernie Mac tell black-oriented jokes to a mixed crowd?

    Because he is a niche comedian who has always had a big following amoung working class blacks. So he went with what works.

    Besides at $2,300 each I doubt the crowd was in his fan base.

    5. Why do so many jokes involving black comedians when speaking about the Obamas revolve around images of a demanding, castrating Michelle expecting Barack to jump on demand?

    Actually Barrack helped spread that image of his wife with his own joking around about there relationship.

    I agree with Black Canseco’s YGG theory, I’ll up it one further and say Obama is doing things like this intentionaly to appease certain voters. It’s all a little to convienant that he has people in his surrounding with questionable views, and he has to shed them off and move on.

    That being said he still has my vote.

  33. sasha wrote:

    Bernie Mac has been in the comedy game long enough to know what types of jokes are appropriate at certain events; so he should have tailored his jokes to this specific event which was a political family friendly event.

  34. Hot Tramp wrote:

    Are we going to play sexism bingo, rain? This isn’t about Michelle Obama being tough and “not uptight” (ugh) and able to take a joke. This is about the misogyny in Bernie Mac’s jokes and the stupidity of Obama’s campaign hiring him. If you’re not personally offended by the misogyny in the jokes, that’s fine, but please don’t pretend it’s not there or it’s not a problem. It is.

  35. Ori wrote:

    @Thea: I never really understood the big deal about Sweetiegate. If he’d referred to her as ma’am, I wonder if it would have been as big of a deal? What upsetting me most about that situation was that Barack failed to answer her question later, not that he referred to her as ’sweetie’. Perhaps, it’s a ‘cultural thing’ as they say, but I know as a black woman, I often come in contact with black men (especially older men) who refer to me as sweetie purely out of politeness not be be condescending.

    HOWEVER, that’s my experience. And I think I find it much more disturbing that McCain can call his wife a c*nt and have a terrible track record on women’s reproductive rights and he isn’t as closely watched as Barack is in terms of his gender equity but I suppose that could be because that concept just doesn’t exist for McCain.

  36. NancyP wrote:

    I didn’t get the point of the First Lady joke, and didn’t see what “black” had to do with it. The white working women I know that have kids and husband expect their hubby to run errands and deal with the kids some of the time.

    The “ho” joke is not exactly original, and I heard it first with white characters. Misogyny is basic to most male stand-up comics’ routines, and has little to do with the race of the comic or audience.

  37. Slush wrote:

    @Rain - but how does having heard jokes before make it better?

    I think it makes it worse.

    The first time it’s easy to shrug off. The second time, still not a big deal. The fiftieth time I want to scream, “What the fuck?!?! Just stop it already with all the abuse!”

    Good for your grandmother and anyone else who doesn’t take that shit, but you know I bet they get pretty tired of fighting off the same crap over and over. It’s exhausting.

    I’m not sure the joke was specifically directed at Michelle Obama or not, but given that it was an Obama event, that interpretation is pretty foreseeable.

  38. Deanna wrote:

    Bernie Mac–funny

    Joke about Michelle Obama and picking up the kids–funny, but more from the perspective of balancing responsibilities in a family where both parents work–it is hard–technically it acknowledges that both have equally demanding careers and share a responsibility for raising their children.

    Joke about women as ‘ho’s’ Never funny– plays into idea of, well, women as whores and invites disrespect, SO, not funny, and therefore doubly inappropriate here.

    Calling an adult, working woman in a professional setting sweetie? Inexcusable. In fact, Diversity Inc. just ran a column last week about “what not to say to a woman in the work place” and honey, sweetie, etc. was first on the list.

  39. texascowgirl wrote:

    How many of you women who supported Hillary and are concerned with Obama’s alledged “sexism” voted for the serial adulterer Bill Clinton? Was he so “good” on women’s issues in between cheating, humiliating his wife, and sexually harassing his female employees that you were able support him and then his wife who stood by and let him get away with it all? I’ll take a man who slipped up once and called a woman ” sweety” (not bitch or whore which I’m sure you have all used in refernce to another woman) or laughed at an off color joke over a man who’s commited any of the sins that Bill Clinton has commited against womanhood by being a low down dirty dog. Where was your outrage then? Where was Hillary’s? Did you come to any of those women’s defense? Did any of that make it difficult for you to vote for and support either Clinton? I doubt it. Obama is not a sexist and you can’t point to any real evidence that he is. Hillary lost and it has nothing to do with sexism so get over it. The Clinton fatigue left by her husband’s shameful acts while in office and her vote for the war in Iraq lead to her loss. The worst crimes of sexism and disrespect of her womanhood commited against Hillary were by her own damn husband and she let him for the sake of her own furture political career. She did her own equivilent of “I’m just messing with you” to Bill for 30 years. If that’s your feminist icon fine. If that’s your idea of feminine strength seek help. But please stop trying to potray Obama as some closet woman hater who doesn’t care about women when you probably all voted for Bill Clinton twice. I personally hope the first woman President makes it to power on her own and not through a marriage in which she spent her whole adult life being humiliated over and over again by a sexist pig of a man.

  40. RON wrote:

    texascowgirl -

    You said a mouthful and that is the elephant in the room. That is why it is hard take Hillarites seriously when they attack Obama for sexism.

    I guess someone has to entertain them though.

  41. Brian wrote:

    Perhaps Obama felt as uncomfortable as many of the posters here do? How awkward would it have been to get up and chastise Mac, especially if all but one member of the audience SEEMED to enjoy the joke? I’m not defending Mac, the joke, or the audience. My point is that Obama’s statement was somewhat hedging his bet. But let’s not use that statement alone to determine his feelings on gender issues. He was put in an awkward situation that most people would have difficulty navigating smoothly and without incident. Yes, maybe an incident is sometimes called for in such situations to draw attention to the issues being discussed here. And, yes, we would expect someone running for President to have the balls to do it. At the same time, it was an unexpected moment (presumably) and Obama may have just been caught off guard and fumbled for a response to diffuse the situation without offending anyone. His response may not have been best, but I don’t know that he should be crucified for it, either.

  42. Abu Sinan wrote:

    Considering how important PR is now at days and the fact that one gaff can circle the globe in 1 second, it is amazing they didnt request some sort of a rough draft from the guy as to what he was going to talk about.

    I am not sure that I buy one earlier poster’s comments about house jokes being good for mixed audiences. I think they can be construed in the wrong way often and lead to reinforcing certain stereotypes that are off mark.

    Poor judgement and planning all the way around on this one.

    They need to polish the corners on their operation or one of these days something is going to happen that they will not be able to gloss over or repair.

  43. gatamala wrote:

    Hot Tramp~ I love you so ;)

    While I don’t like this joke in this context (esp. the theme about Michelle…it cuts too close to stereotypes). I am very concerned about the level of disclaimers that Barack has to do.

    This might piss some of you off, to be reminded of it…the man is half WHITE, too.

    you are late to the party!

    run a search and read some old Racialicious posts…Latoya, Carmen & nem specifically addressed the draft a couple of weeks ago

    You frame it as if there’s added pressure to throw people under a bus mainly because they’re black–not for legitimate reasons or at least reasons unrelated to his need to “perform” for a hateful white audience.

    What’s a legitimate reason?

    When you throw someone under a bus…to make “mainstream”/white folks happy…that someone is black 99% of the time* …you are throwing them under the bus b/c they are black. The “mainstream”/white folks generally give your white associates a pass. Compare the attention given to: Wright & Hagee and then to Pfleger.

    *Pfleger got “in trouble” for saying things that virtually all of us have experienced and thus know to be true. However, he wasn’t lampooned and pilloried to the extent of Wright.

    Hagee….well….

  44. Thea wrote:

    @Ori

    I was going to say something similar to your point about McCain calling Cindy a See You Next Tuesday: that Obama is held to a higher standard than someone like McCain because he has a (supposedly) better track record. It’s the old weird paradox that if you behave badly, people will have lower expectations of you and you can get away with more - but if you behave well, people won’t tolerate very much.

    Yeah, the “sweetie” thing is a bit contentious - how did he mean it? How was it said? How did the journalist take it? At the same time I don’t think it’s appropriate for politicians to refer to journalists in that way. If he’d called her ma’am that would be fine.

  45. bertie wrote:

    I really don’t think the “emasculating wife” theme is limited to Michelle Obama or black women. That theme has long been standard fare for almost all (straight) male comedians of every color. I think it jars us blacks in this context b/c obviously its about a potential first lady that is one of us–and we are very protective of her. She is a proxy for all the outstanding black women in our own lives. I also think unfortunately, Michelle played into this theme a little intially by making public comments that seemed to be an attempt to knock Barack down a peg a two. I do not think her early statements were an attempt to stifle all the hoopla surrounding Barack but merely an attempt to remind folks that he is just a regular guy (who incidentally sucks at picking up after himself). But I think her statements came across as a bit ball-busting and easily played into the nagging wife theme…I mean in the middle of his presidential run she’s making statements about him failing to pick up socks—the jokes just kinda write themselves on that one.

    As for the two hos joke–I am ashamed to say I found it pretty funny. It’s just not appropriate for the event. I definitely think there are “in-house” jokes. But I think alot of entertainers make tons of money making the “in-house” jokes, language, culture accessible for broader audiences–and that’s why Mac got comfortable. He let his guard down and said something ignorant in front of the wrong crowd. He forgot this is not a FUBU event.

    And I have to agree 100% with Cancesco–the list is growing ever long of folks that got to go in order to get Obama in the WH. But in Obama’s defense–in this situation, Mac was out of pocket. Unless you’re telling jokes about Santa, the word “Ho” as no business in a routine during an event for a presidential candidate.

  46. Jaye wrote:

    I know some people feel that Obama’s campaign was sexist, but honestly, I just do not see it.
    HRC made a mockery of sexism during the primaries. She used race-baiting to get votes, pretended that she wasn’t using race-baiting when she was called on it, and then cried “sexism” when it was clear she was going to lose. No one took her seriously, because no one with an ounce of common sense is going to take the word of a racist seriously. And that is unfortunate, because a lot of people’s hidden sexism did rise up during the campaign, but because the cries of ‘sexism’ were coming out of the mouth of a hypocrite and closet-racist, at the end of the day, the sexism wasn’t taken seriously and I think that is HRC’s own fault.

    We should talk about the misogyny, but we are often protective of MOC because the MSM (white) media doesn’t usually examine their own rampant sexism, while they try to define MOC as sexist. And the MSM’s criticism of the sexism of MOC is also typically not an honest and sincere attempt to attack misogyny, but rather, a way to be racist towards MOC without being overt about it. So a lot of WOC end up defending MOC and letting them get away with ridiculously sexist attitudes and behavior, because they feel the undercurrent of racism in the MSM’s criticism. Now that a black man is about to be president, maybe that defending of MOC should stop. We should all make them responsible (sensitive word, I know) for their behavior, but also acknowledge that the majority of the sexism directed at HRC came from the MSM, white men, not black men or men of color. Don’t make MOC as the poster child for sexism because they’re not, they are not the ones who voted against a law that would have allowed women to sue for discriminatory wage practices by employers, an old white man helped to craft that legislation and get it through a (majority white) congress. At the same time, we should hold them accountable for their sexism, because it is clearly there, without turning them into the scapegoats as the MSM media tries to do.

  47. Latoya Peterson wrote:

    @Jaye -

    We should talk about the misogyny, but we are often protective of MOC because the MSM (white) media doesn’t usually examine their own rampant sexism, while they try to define MOC as sexist. And the MSM’s criticism of the sexism of MOC is also typically not an honest and sincere attempt to attack misogyny, but rather, a way to be racist towards MOC without being overt about it. So a lot of WOC end up defending MOC and letting them get away with ridiculously sexist attitudes and behavior, because they feel the undercurrent of racism in the MSM’s criticism.

    Well said.

  48. gatamala wrote:

    co-sign Jaye ~ classic intersectionality

    And the MSM’s criticism of the sexism of MOC is also typically not an honest and sincere attempt to attack misogyny, but rather, a way to be racist towards MOC without being overt about it. So a lot of WOC end up defending MOC and letting them get away with ridiculously sexist attitudes and behavior, because they feel the undercurrent of racism in the MSM’s criticism.

    I submit Morehouse and Isaiah Washington.

    Don’t make MOC as the poster child for sexism because they’re not, they are not the ones who voted against a law that would have allowed women to sue for discriminatory wage practices by employers, an old white man helped to craft that legislation and get it through a (majority white) congress.

    How many MOC were involved in drafting regulations to define methods of contraception as abortion?

    http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/blog/tag/hhs-contraception

  49. Slush wrote:

    I agree with the discussion about racism against men of color for being sexist, but I do have a conundrum about it. Sometimes they are. At which point, a white person such as myself can’t stick up for women because instead people will just tell me I’m being racist. Which further entrenches the problem of white women not doing a better job including women of color, because when women of color are hurt by sexism of men of color, we can’t participate in the discussion.

    I’m really sorry if this comes across as a “what about the white women’s trouble dealing with this” on a blog about race. But it’s something I struggle with a lot because I want to support women of any color who are injured by sexism perpetrated by people of any color, but instead fear that I am being racist. And maybe I am - I don’t even know how to figure that out. But I do wonder how women of color respond to someone like myself speaking against sexism, when the target of my criticism is a man of color, as opposed to a white man.

  50. Nora wrote:

    As a WOC, I support any kind of speaking out against sexism. But examine where you are coming from. This isn’t only an issue with race, but also class. It can be uncomfortable to call out someone who, socially, you aren’t on equal footing with. And, not to say you are doing this, but a lot of times there is a ‘white savior’ complex. Work in tandem with women of color, don’t try to save them. WOC have the power to help themselves. And although MOC shouldn’t be the poster children for sexism, excuses shouldn’t be made for them. Sexism is sexism is sexism. And watching the video of Obama calling a news reporter “sweetie” is no exception.

  51. Latoya Peterson wrote:

    @Slush -

    I am going to cosign with what Nora said and add a dimension. Sometimes, due to life experience, WoC and white women perceive actions differently. Like back when Meownette talked about the horribly sexist act of Obama pulling out HRC’s chair at a debate, and I had to really sit for a second to figure out where she was coming from on that.

    I suppose, to white women, who have seen chivalry used to underscore their inherent weakness and frailty, the act of Obama pulling out Clinton’s chair could be perceived at trying to undercut her authority.

    But a black woman like myself? A person who has had white men allow doors to bang in my face after holding them for a white woman (while I had packages, no less!), who is hardly ever seen as a woman deserving of chivalry except by men of my own race? I just saw it as him being polite. Maybe her chair got stuck on the carpet. As I rolled around the blacksophere to see if I just missed something big, I could find no reference of Obama pulling the chair out as sexist. So perception does color viewpoints and actions.

  52. Thea wrote:

    @Jaye

    Excellent point! I think it does take a lot of courage for POCs and particularly MOCs to confront sexism in their own culture, when sexism has so often been used as a means to denigrate and invalidate communities of colour.

    @ Slush

    I think the question of calling MOC on sexism is a really sticky and important topic for white folks esp women. In terms of how white folks should call men of colour on sexism - I had to think about this a lot because though I identify as a WOC I used to blog with a lot of white folks on a feminist blog.

    I think that if you’re going to criticise men of colour for sexism, when it’s sexism that’s apparently connected to MOCs’ culture, in your critique you should remember/question what role white folks might’ve had in the creation of that sexism, and then mention it.

    In the words of Barbara Ehrenreich (a white woman I really respect):

    “I cringe at the relentless obscenity of [hip hop] lyrics, the misdirected disrespect for women. But I also recognize in hip-hop an anger that is not mine to share, at least not in the same words, because it’s a response to centuries of sexualized racial put-downs, often uttered by people who, embarrassingly enough, looked very much like me.”
    http://ehrenreich.blogs.com/barbaras_blog/2007/04/nappyheaded_hos.html

    This may sound extreme, but personally I think when white folks criticise sexism in communities of colour, they should always follow that critique with the ways in which their own cultures are sexist.

    A few years ago I read a horrifying article in a Toronto newspaper criticising sexism in Sikh communities and talking about how “Canadian values” don’t tolerate sexism. WTF? That’s crazy talk coming from a country where 51% of Canadian women have experienced at least 1 incident of physical or sexual violence since age 16.
    http://www.cdnwomen.org/EN/section05/3_5_1_1-violence_facts.html

    The sad thing is that the article was drawing attention to a real problem in Sikh and South Asian Canadian communities. But they used it to actually turn a blind eye to how much violence there is for non-South Asian women in Canada.

    When critiques of communities of colour don’t (at least in passing) mention the ways in which white women are hurt by sexism, not only are those critiques racist, they harm white women by making it seem like sexism only happens “over there.”

    If you’re looking for a fail-safe method of how to support women of colour you know harmed by sexism within their own communities - just ask WOC what best way you can help! A lot of the time good intentions go awry when people make assumptions - instead of just asking - about how to help others on the privilege continuum.

  53. Chris wrote:

    Bernie was just being Bernie and I think his humor is pretty down to earth for most Americans. He was just being real. On the other hand these high dollar fund raisers aren’t the same as a family reunion or fish fry. Maybe they should have gotten Jerry Sienfeld.

    In a way its good to see a black candidate, but it sometimes it seems he and many of his supporters somehow think “he’s not like the OTHER black people…” if you get my meaning…

  54. complexity wrote:

    I’m new to commenting, butI just had a couple of comments I felt ha some relevance here. Sexism is blatant and complicated at the same time, hiring men over women = blatant, but calling a woman sweetie or pulling a chair out is complicated. I agree that it goes back to perception and one woman of any color may view it one way and another woman of any color may view it a different way. I took a class that dealt with multiculturalism and gender issues and we had this exact conversation (but it was a much smaller venue and about a year ago.) The bottom line to me then and now is that a man should know what he is dealing with and that goes for everyone, not just men. But if a man knows the woman and they are colleagues or friends or aquaintances or whatever then he should know how she would feel if he were to call her sweetie or pull a chair out or open a door. (all of which CAN be percieved as chivilarous and/or condescending) I think that it gets even more complicated for Barrak because while he does know Hillary and so i assume that the chair pulling out thing was taken as polite, the reporter thing is hard to decipher because it was a public display to a woman that he probably didn’t know that well and he trasmitted the message of a man of a higher power (running for president) calling a woman of a lower power (reporting on said run for president) sweetie. It gives a power dynamic that I think can be related to race and gender and thats what makes it complicated. WHile he probably didn’t mean anything by it I think its a good look to use ma’am or the person’s name or the news sources name. ANd while that was somewhat off topic of this thread it still leads into the present discussion. Again it was a public display and when your constantly being picked apart by any association with anything the jokes should have been screened and edited. I think they were in poor taste and even if they were all in fun or if that is just the way things are (which are both bogus) they can be taken as offensive (obviously) and instead of just going along for the ride why not try and produce jokes that don’t tear people down. Or why not try to evolve the jokes so that the offend less and then work to eliminate them all together. I also think that at the very least with all these topics (eg. the New Yorker) they at least are getting people to talk more, because I think had the jokes been “less offensive” or not spefically about Michelle than this thread wouldn’t have happened and likewise with the cover cartoon. When ignorance or lack of discretion creep up which the inevitably do, than it is best to learn from them, right? Also on a quick side note, I’m a fan of this blog and I think the discussions on here are quality.

  55. gatamala wrote:

    A person who has had white men allow doors to bang in my face after holding them for a white woman (while I had packages, no less!),

    ahhh….yes I call those my Ain’t I A Woman Moments!

    I had someone do that to me who I don’t think lived in the building. 2 bags of Whole Chek groceries banging my shins and this fool slows his friend down (who said, “cmon it doesn’t matter”) to let me pass and open the door with my key. It took every ounce of my being not to explain why he is racist and slam the door in his face. I gritted my teeth and suffered the microaggression. I’m sure he doesn’t remember the incident.

    I’ve also had the discussion with a white feminist who said she would never raise (rear) her son to hold doors open for women. We are both from the same area and I was taken aback at what I perceived to be a tacky breach of ettiquette.

    I’d say that for Obama, pulling out the chair is hometrainin’.

    Sweetie…in the context of the journalist evinces a lack of hometrainin’. Ma’am would do just fine.

  56. Slush wrote:

    Thanks, all, for your feedback and insights on that. It’s a tricky thing to navigate. Class differences also tend to add another dimension that just makes it more complicated.

    I do like the chair perception example because it helps see the difference so clearly. Although I don’t generally see that as a kind of sexism that troubles me much. (I’m taken off guard when it happens to me, but no big deal.) I’ll give to Meownette that it is a bit different when it is political posturing though.

    @Thea - “This may sound extreme, but personally I think when white folks criticise sexism in communities of colour, they should always follow that critique with the ways in which their own cultures are sexist.”

    I don’t think that’s so extreme. I think that kind of self-awareness and disclaimers allow for understanding and productive discussion rather than people just feeling criticized.

    However, I am a little ambiguous about that quote of Ehrenreich, even though I do think she’s brilliant and fantastic. (Didn’t know she had a blog - thanks for the link!) Maybe she’s doing exactly your suggestion and adding a disclaimer of acknowledged partial responsibility, which makes sense. She’s right in the sense that she’s accepting her own complicity. I am complicit too, and that’s really important.

    The problem is that her statement also kind of goes to excuse long-time victims for bad behavior. Sometimes victims do get excuses, and that’s the point of being a victim. The history of racism has affected people so deeply in all kinds of ways, only some of which I can begin to understand. But I think that saying that hideous misogyny is a “response” to oppression gives it legitimacy it doesn’t deserve. Why does racial oppression give men of color a ’cause’ to treat women badly? Women of color have already been treated badly at the same time, but they don’t get to take it out on anyone.

  57. handydandy wrote:

    Would some of the perceived outrage on this board be different if Mo’Nique or another African-American female comedian made the same statements? What if the politician were Hillary Clinton, and the comedian made the same type of jokes in reference to her husband? Would that be humor, or would that also be seen as offensive?

  58. Lyonside wrote:

    I’ve got a lot going on in my head about this, but a lot of it has been said.

    One quick thing though:
    >I’ve also had the discussion with a white feminist who said she would never raise (rear) her son to hold doors open for women. We are both from the same area and I was taken aback at what I perceived to be a tacky breach of ettiquette.

    Gatamala: the problem is holding the door for a woman just because she’s a woman. (or not, because of race or ethicity or invisability - holding a door only for pretty women, something else I’ve seen that pisses me off). What should ideally happen is that anyone holds the door for anyone coming right behind them, and especially if they are struggling with kids or packages, have a cane, etc. Anything else is damn rude.

    Then again, it’s just as rude to have someone fight their way to open a door that I’ve already started opening, which means I have to suddenly change my grip or let go completely, just because they want to hold it open for me. They then expect a thank you for inconveniencing me and slowing me down. This happens all the time with storefront swinging doors (say, a convenience store).

    Similarly, I don’t want to take anyone’s seat on a bus because of my gender. But if I’m noticeably tired, struggling, pregnant, injured, disabled, etc., I would want someone of any gender to do so.And I would do the same for them.

  59. Mogs wrote:

    @ everybody who thinks Obama should have chastised Mac more strongly:

    Mac was basically a “guest” at an event that Obama was sponsoring. Obama should have known ahead of time what Bernie Mac’s act entailed. so regardless of how offensive some of his jokes were, they were no worse than his usual routine, and so Obama had no business publicly chastising him. i know that in politics, everyone wants to look good and not offend masses of voters, but that’s still no excuse to throw common courtesy by the wayside.

  60. texascowgirl wrote:

    Thank you Ron. It’s just that the Hillary “bitters” drive me nuts sometimes. They are text book cases in displaced and misplaced anger in their Obama resentment. Sexism is real, but if we as women want to be treated as equal then we have to accept losing equally and our part in it. They also always seem to over look Hillary playing the Southern Strategy against Barack. Hard working white American’s anyone? Can you imagine if Obama had said he was getting the votes of hardworking college educated people with Y chromosomes?

  61. Persia wrote:

    Cosigning Lyonside.

    Unless you’re telling jokes about Santa, the word “Ho” as no business in a routine during an event for a presidential candidate.

    Agreed, especially since– as we’ve seen– MOC have a far higher bar to cross.

  62. Big Man wrote:

    Bernie Mac is funny.

    Yep, I’m a male pig.

    But, Bernie is still funny.

  63. Marge Twain wrote:

    @Slush:
    “Women of color have already been treated badly at the same time, but they don’t get to take it out on anyone.”

    So true. I have the same unease with the Barbara Ehrenreich quote. In the culture I come from(Indian) husbands have a lot of power over their wives, women are blamed for family or marital failures and wife-beating is accepted, certainly not an acceptable reason for divorce.

    My mother took her three children and left her abusive husband(my father) after far too many painful, dangerous years. She could likely not have done it if we lived in India and not without the help of many of her white women friends who encouraged her to recognize that she didn’t deserve to live with contempt and violence. They gave us places to stay and helped us get a home of our own. They recognized that cultural differences do not cancel out human rights. My mother lost all of her Indian friends at the time. In later years she helped other Indian women with abusive husbands to leave, giving them support and resources that they would not get from the community.

    The idea of “keeping it in the community” because the community is misunderstood by the mainstream is a dangerous one. If you were our neighbor and you had asked another Indian person what you could do, they might have told you that you don’t understand, it’s such a different culture and you should do nothing. I feel the same about misogynistic speech and behavior across races and cultures. One can criticize another culture while also acknowledging the oppressiveness of one’s own culture but it’s a mistake to just think “WOC can speak for themselves” and then not stand with them because we do have a common humanity and gender oppression is cross-cultural. Most of all because women need each other. We are all taught to put others first and noone else is looking out for us.

  64. Fiqah wrote:

    “Hypothetically speaking, we should have $100,000. But realistically speaking we live with two hos.”

    Huh.

    I am depressingly reminded of my first comment on Racialicious on a post about Black gender relations. I partially quoted the very-brilliant Hortense Spillers, who said that the problem with gender relations between Black women and men is that the WHOLE WORLD thinks that it is Black womens’ duty in life to suffer…and that Black men seem to agree.

    I want to say that that statement doesn’t have an iota of the truth in it. But I see people laughing at this joke, and I know that there’s something to it. My own father - who has hardly been the model dad - would never even dream of referring to me, my sisters, or my mother as “hos.” Not in seriousness, not in jest, not in anything. Why? Because that shit was never fucking funny, that’s why. It wasn’t funny when Imus did it, and it’s not funny when men of color do it. I am so sick to death of the very sexist notion held by many (NOT all, but you know what I mean) men of color that abuse from them is somehow less offensive than abuse from White men, as if they are somehow entitled to joke about, disrespect, and misteat - but rarely defend, support, or even fucking LIKE - women of color.

    I ‘d like to put this question to Bernie Mac and anyboy who laughed at that bullshit joke: Is a comedian who sells out his wife and daughter for a chuckle an entertainment ho? Just sayin.’

  65. Marge Twain wrote:

    @Fiqah:
    “I ‘d like to put this question to Bernie Mac and anyboy who laughed at that bullshit joke: Is a comedian who sells out his wife and daughter for a chuckle an entertainment ho? Just sayin.’”

    Good question, Fiqah. Communities can unify around something other than putting down the women who are part of it. Now why do I have the feeling the folks here who think the joke is so hilarious aren’t going to answer you?

  66. Vodalus wrote:

    At least one person spoke up against what was said. We can count that small bit of progress.

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