Dear America: A Few Things This Black Woman Would Like You to Know About Race
Modern racism is like a dull ache:
Being able to only rise so high in the company despite excellent credentials and performance …a dull ache.
Having your natural kinky hair stared at and pawed by strangers…a dull ache.
Being followed around department stores by security officers…a dull ache.
Worrying about young male loved ones often stopped by police for “driving while black”…a dull ache.
Seeing how quick Americans were to believe erroneous tales of raping and pillaging among Hurricane Katrina victims at the Superdome…a dull ache.
Watching missing young white women and children garner national coverage while black women and children are ignored…a dull ache.
Living in the Midwest and knowing that there are still some towns that you dare not visit alone…a dull ache.
Wondering if the poor service and stares you received at that great new restaurant were based on your race…a dull ache.
A dull ache is far better than what my ancestors suffered (At 38, I am just one generation removed from Jim Crow.). I have only rarely been the victim of overt racism, but a dull ache is still depressing and stressful in its persistence. And covert racism keeps the playing field imbalanced just as overt racism does. I should also mention that I am the educated, middle class child of an educated, middle class family. For many black people, caught in a cycle of poverty, racism is less a dull ache than chronic torment.
Black people don’t expect you to know about all of these things. How could you? How can Lou Dobbs, a wealthy, white man, unequivocally proclaim how “progressive” America is about race? How the hell would he know?
We just need you to admit that you don’t know. And then we need you to listen.
Anger at the system is not the same as anger at individual white people. Many black people are frustrated and angered by racial inequities inherent in “the system,” but that doesn’t mean that we are angry with you the individual. During the Women’s History Month broadcast, Shecodes clearly stated that her experience with the racist Wall Street interviewer did not make her dislike white people. Only that woman can bear the guilt for what she did. Most black people I know feel the same way. Most of us have white friends and neighbors. Some of us have white husbands and wives. Our anger isn’t about hatred; it is about a desire for equality.
Good people can be prejudiced. Where did everyone get the idea that prejudiced people were mustache-twirling, one-dimensional villains? The idea keeps everyday people from honestly evaluating their biases, because “only bad people are prejudiced.”
As I said in the first paragraph of this essay, white supremacy is ingrained in American culture and we are all affected by that. I don’t mean the “white power” sort of supremacy, just the idea that the dominant culture, which is white/European, is the benchmark. So, it is no surprise that blond hair and blue eyes are celebrated, that a black preacher’s fiery sermons would strike many Americans as odd, and that a black accent is perceived as less desirable than a white one.
The sin is not that we are biased in this way–and we are ALL biased. The sin is that we pretend that we aren’t biased and fail to address the inequities that our prejudice creates.
There is more I could add, like: There are no official black leaders so please stop thinking Al Sharpton is the black Messiah. But the points above are ones that have been swirling in my head as public discourse has more and more turned to the topic of race.
Look, all this black woman wants is equal access to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. My experience tells me that despite great strides, we aren’t there yet. And we won’t get there as long as the majority of Americans think the job is already done. Unfortunately, recent conversations about race have led me to believe this is exactly what the majority of Americans think.
It is way past time to have a real conversation about race. But America, are you willing to listen as well as speak?
Agree with me? Disagree? Let me hear from you.
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