America’s Next Top Model: saved by the chong!

by guest contributor Jasmine, originally published at news from the flip front

OMG.

So in last week’s episode of “America’s Next Top Model”, Tyra reveals that the models not eliminated in tonight’s episode will travel to China to continue in the competition.

So how did she tell them? Did she say “Hey, y’all are going to China!” Fuck NO. She had lion dancers come out and dance around, two martial artists comes out with swords, and Tyra herself waved a big-ass fan around. This after a stilted fake-ass conversation with the lion, wherein the lion invites them to China via a number of poses and copious blinking. Did I mention that this week’s guest judge, poor man’s Tim Gunn Neil Hamil of Elite Model Management, and Twiggy had to wave fuschia flags around in the air while this nonsense was going on? And yes, if you listened in the background, there were gongs. GONGS! I half-expected Tyra to give everybody chopsticks and challenge them to style their hair with them. But maybe that’s the next challenge?

I’m trying to remember if ANTM has pulled this kinda shit before. Oh right — contestants in Cycle 4 had an assignment at a Los Angeles animal park where they posed like animals, right before learning they were going to South Africa to complete the season. I mean, ignorance is nothing new on television, especially in reality television, but COME ON, people. If I wanted ethnicity to be painted as broadly and as badly as this, I’d just ride It’s A Small World and be done with it.

[rolls eyes]

Excuse me, I need to go eat some Kentucky Fried Panda now.