No Tequila for Me, Thanks

by Racialicious special correspondent Wendi Muse

This post won’t be deep.

Nope, not nearly as deep as the disdain I have toward Tila Tequila (trademark) and all the other televised, world wide webbed, and radio-aired exploitations of women. And as a person who identifies as a bisexual woman of color, I’m disappointed that images perpetuated by the media, by attention hungry faux-lebrities like Tequila who cling to stereotypes as if life itself would dissolve if they failed to exhibit characteristics oft-associated with their respective background by people on the outside looking in, are the ones everyone likes to remember.

Tequila is not the only one for whom I reserve such hatred, but she just so happens to be in the forefront of my mind because the garbage that is MTV (which I admit sometimes satiates my desire to indulge in a guilty pleasure or two…like, OMG, THE HILLS!) is airing a new show of hers very soon. The title? “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila.” The premise? Tequila comes out as a “bisexual freak” (her words, not mine) and has a Flavor of Love-esque harem-fest, only this time, with (straight) men AND (lesbian) women (hmmm what about bisexual men and women? Wouldn’t they want to join in too?) Jon Lafayette at TV Week reports:

“Tila Tequila made a name for herself by doing things her way, captivating legions of fans online, both men and women. Now she is taking that attitude and sex appeal to her own TV series where she is looking for a mate…by again, captivating a group of both men and women,” said Tony DiSanto, executive VP of series development and programming for MTV. “The show is a rollercoaster ride of drama, conflict and emotion, busting stereotypes and challenging the norm—proving that the rules of attraction are made to be broken.”

Busting stereotypes? The only busting I can see going down on that show involves silicone and a push-up bra. If anything, the tv commercial clips for the show highlight a few stereotypes that, just in case the American public (straight and gay) didn’t already hold enough negative stereotypes of bisexuals, most of us can’t forget:

1. They are polyamorous. All of them.
2. They have to decide whether or not they like men more or women more.
3. They choose their mates based on sex appeal, as sex will be central in the relationship.
4. They are freaks (in the bed…and, well, in public too).
5. Volition to engage in group sex is a prerequisite. They never have one-on-one sex.
6. They cause strife within the lesbian/gay community and the straight community because they can’t make up their minds.
7. They dress provocatively (see points 3 and 4)

Don’t get me wrong. I am sex-positive, meaning I respect the individual decisions that one makes with regard to his/her/hir (for you gender neutral folks) sex life. If someone likes sex, I say good for him/her/hir. Be adventurous. Be bold. Think outside the box. It’s just sex, afterall, right? BUT when a certain sexual behavior is permanently affixed to any group, it rubs me the wrong way.

We’ve had similar discussions here at Racialicious about the sexualization of women of color and cross-posted a NinjaPants article by Pat M on the intersection of race, gender, and sexuality here:

Tila Tequila is a little bit of a different story; her “I Love U” gives us an image of Asian America in music that gives us something to argue about. Her bipolar “I love you” and “I’ll fucking kill you” , her alternating “I’m what you need” and “Gimme what I need”, her riding crop and her submissive moaning; all of these link back to classic images of Asian women as dominant and submissive, “dragon ladies” and “geisha girls”.

Tequila’s media presence begs the question: are we continuing to be forced to view ourselves via stereotypes, are we involved in the creating the stereotypes, or are we looking for stereotypes to pin on someone who may just being her/himself? It’s hard to tell.

What is pretty easy to tell, however, is what MTV is doing with the previews for this show alone (though I guess I will have to wait until the full-length show airs to find out if my fear is correct):

Presenting stereotypes of Asian-Americans: 30 seconds
Presenting stereotypes of bisexuals: 30 seconds
Presenting stereotypes of women: 30 seconds
How long the aforementioned stereotypes remain in the minds of the public, to the point that they bring out prejudice, discrimination, and general hate: basically a lifetime
How many years such stereotypes will continue to be perpetuated: end unknown

So while this post, as I warned before, is not deep or intensely researched in the least, it makes me think of why I am even writing it in the first place. Will there ever be a time when I don’t feel like people who identify in similar ways as I do are forever trapped in stupid caricatures of themselves, forced to either be thought of in that way by others or to mimic them on their own for others’ entertainment?

Can someone just put me out of a job already?

Trackbacks & Pings

  1. A Shot at...Diversity? Tila Tequila and Reality TV at Racialicious - the intersection of race and pop culture on 16 Oct 2007 at 3:04 pm

    […] really muster up any righteous indignation. (Wendi can though - if you missed it, check out No Tequila for me, Thanks to get a more critical look at Tila’s […]

Comments

  1. dnA wrote:

    What I like about Judaism: You are morally obligated to be a freak in bed. If you’re not, your spouse can divorce you.

  2. Daomadan wrote:

    Thank you so much for covering this. I first read about this over at the After Ellen blogs and had to read some vitriol in the comments about bisexuals. As a bisexual woman it’s enough that I have to educate people that I am not any of the stereotypes you list, but now we have a show that seems like it will just perpetuate them! Not to mention the racist comments that I know are going to come out of this too.

  3. Ike wrote:

    “She doesn’t know if she likes men or women more.”

    That’s one of the dumbest things that I hear all the time. When will society realize that attraction is about the individual and not the perceived group?

  4. Wendi Muse wrote:

    thank you, ike. seriously, it’s one of my least favorite, but most frequently asked questions. it’s like…umm….i date people whom i like. if the person happens to be a man, fine. if it happens to be a woman, fine.

    another one along similar lines that i get a lot is “well, when you’re dating a guy don’t you want a woman too” or vice versa…

    um…and straight people don’t do this? ever heard of cheating? lol
    as a bisexual, i’m no more likely to be unfaithful than a straight person, and funny enough, i have never cheated on anyone and don’t plan to. it’s amazing what tv (and magazines and girls gone wild and all other overly sexual representations of bi/pan-sexual people) can do to one’s impression of people…

    daomadan: i am really glad i never saw the afterellen post. i probably would have boiled over in anger. i hear very very very negative things about bi/pansexuals from my gay and lesbian friends all the time, of course, followed by “oh, but wendi, you’re an exception.” it’s really hurtful, especially considering that my behavior should be an example of our not all being the same.

  5. Gregory A. Butler wrote:

    Wendi, why do you have to hate on Tila Tequila?

    Tila Nguyen is, forgive the cliche, an “American success story” - a poor Vietnamese immigrant who saw the potential of myspace before anybody else did (ever wonder who invented the idea of sending “friend requests” to folks you don’t know? Tila did!) and who used that innovation to make herself a pop star.

    Think about it - a woman who became a celebrity without having to depend on male Hollywood executives… what could be more empowering than that?

    Yes, the show has a very distorted view of reality - but hey, Wendi, it’s a REALITY SHOW - and we all know that reality shows are totally unreal.

    Tila Tequila is an ENTERTAINER, not anybody’s “role model” - so no, she’s probably not the person you’d want to invite to speak at your local college’s Gay Straight Alliance’s diversity day.

    But, you’ve got to be impressed by a woman of color who got 1 million downloads of her single, without having to depend on some corporate White man in a suit!

    As you can tell, I’m a Tila Tequila fan (and one of her 2.2 million myspace “friends”) - but, you’ve got to admit, Wendi, you were WAY too hard on her in your post!

    BTW “The Hills” is unwatchable garbage - I can’t look at it for more than 2 minutes without feeling like I’m going to get a brain aneurism (how do you watch that swill???)

  6. Nellie wrote:

    I feel like I have to refute these stereotypes on a daily basis, even in my LGBTQ community. This show is atrocious.

  7. Carmen Van Kerckhove wrote:

    > Wendi, why do you have to hate on Tila Tequila?

    Oh snap. :) Blog fight!

  8. Wendi Muse wrote:

    greg, please note that i say “Tila Tequila (trademark)” for a reason. it’s less about her, and more about using her as a representative for women of color, and for bisexuals.

    as you can see, myself included, some people who identify that way are tired of seeing themselves portrayed as 2-dimensional caricatures…oversimplified, purely sexual, stereotypes…it gets REALLY old. the same can be said of stereotypes of asian/asian-american women, a group to which tila belongs.

    i suggest u re-read the article to catch what my real grievance is.

    re: the hills…garbage it may be, but hey, i said it was a guilty pleasure. watching the bbc news all the time weighs a little heavily on your brain sometimes, so you need a few tv throw-aways every now and then. the hills just happens to be mine, like, ya know? :-)

  9. Latoya Peterson wrote:

    Uh-oh, confession time.

    As much as I love good hip-hop, I also love really bad pop music. And Tila Tequila is some of the best horrible music ever with her fabulous sing-talking, hip-hop-rockish vibe, and penchant for profanity.

    So, I’ve gleaned hours of entertainment from “I Love You” and “Fuck Ya Man.” Therefore, I can’t justifiably hate on Tila Tequila, especially when I will scream out random lyrics from her song for comic effect.

    Look at her myspace page:

    “I’m no girl next door Im the bitch down the street”

    Hollyhood, California

    I LOVE IT!!!

    ****

    But back to the actual subject at hand…

    G.A.B. -

    I do agree that Ms. “I-ain’t-trying-to-fuck-your-man” is an example of an American sucess story…kind of in the same vein 50 Cent is an American success story. As much as I may hate on the lyrics, delivery, etc. the fact that they are thriving and successful does prove that something is working.

    However, Wendi’s criticisms ring true as well. Asian-Americans and bi-sexuals don’t have the best representation in the media on a best case scenario - so blasting the tiny powerhouse that is T. Tequila into the homes of millions of Americans is serving up a stereotype trifecta.

    (And keep in mind, we critique media here. I could love a star personally…but if they do something semi-ignorant, they get put on blast.)

    It is also to be noted that while she may have stepped outside of the music industry establishment, she is following their well-worn path to success: skin, sex, & scandal. So she’s not quite radical, though she is an innovator for the internet age.

    I probably won’t watch the show unless it’s on demand (damn - do I need a Tivo to blog here Carmen? I just can’t watch all that TV!) but I am looking forward to reading the wrap-ups and you-tube segments.

  10. gatamala wrote:

    I do agree that Ms. “I-ain’t-trying-to-fuck-your-man” is an example of an American sucess story…kind of in the same vein 50 Cent is an American success story.

    good lord we need to expand our definition of success in this country!

  11. hoo_boy wrote:

    Wendi: Like all reality shows, the setup definitely contains a cheat, fix, or copout and this shot of Tequila blows. The straight men/bi-women hook teases something sexist all ’round. Why not an *all* bi cast to truly fit their (instead of *her*) persuasion (multi-ethnic, of course). All this does is perpetuate this notion of a “gray sex”, a “lifestyle”, a “statement”, or a “choice”, not what *is* no matter how fluid (or is it “ambiguous”– who gets to say again?).

    Gatamala: Considering how low the bar on notoriety’s been set, success actually has multiple paths these days. Kind of reassuring in a way…

  12. laurynx wrote:

    “good lord we need to expand our definition of success in this country!”

    I couldn’t agree more.

  13. mr guy wrote:

    oh..sh*t gonna have to tivo this show man.
    Drama at it’s best.Please don’t hate me Wendi Muse :)

  14. Kate wrote:

    I just hate that no matter what, who she chooses at the end will be seen as representative of who she (and by extension, all bisexuals) “really is”. If she chooses a man, she’s “really” straight; if she chooses a woman, she’s “really” a lesbian; if she chooses a man and a woman, she’s “really” a “slut who can’t make up her mind”. Which isn’t her fault, so much as it’s the fault of people who prefer to think in stereotypes rather than accepting humans as complex and diverse, but it still irks me.

  15. Jay Smooth wrote:

    So, just to summarize: you watch “The Hills”?!? :)

  16. Wendi Muse wrote:

    yes, i watch the hills…
    ::holding head down in shame::

  17. K.T. wrote:

    Wendi: As usual, I agree with you. . .except for watching The Hills. ;)

    Kate: I agree. It is sad that whatever she ultimately chooses will be seen as representative of her “true” self. Most people will only see this from a flat perspective as opposed to inspecting the multiple layers of reality at work in this scenario.

  18. Lyonside wrote:

    somedays the line I walk
    turns out to be straight
    other days the line tends to
    deviate
    I’ve got no criteria for sex or race
    I just want to hear your voice
    I just want to see your face

    their eyes are all asking
    are you in, or are you out
    and I think, oh man,
    what is this about?
    tonight you can’t put me
    up on any shelf
    ’cause I came here alone
    I’m gonna leave by myself

    I just want to show you
    the way that I feel
    and when I get tired
    you can take the wheel
    to me what’s more important
    is the person that I bring
    not just getting to the same restaraunt
    and eating the same thing

    guess there’s something wrong with me
    guess I don’t fit in
    no one wants to touch it
    no one knows where to begin
    I’ve more than one membership
    to more than one club
    and I owe my life to the people that I love

    Ani Difranco, “In or Out”
    [I’ll take her music over Tila Taquila any day]

  19. Thea wrote:

    Cruising the internet for Tila Tequila analyses and found this post. Just wanted to see that this almost made me weep:

    “Will there ever be a time when I don’t feel like people who identify in similar ways as I do are forever trapped in stupid caricatures of themselves, forced to either be thought of in that way by others or to mimic them on their own for others’ entertainment?”

    Sob.

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