by Carmen Van Kerckhove
What woman could resist such a charming invitation? 
(Thanks Christopher!)
More commentary on this CraigsList ad here, here and here. And if you never read Wendi Muse’s classic post analyzing the racism of CraigsList personal ads, what are you waiting for?
It is refreshing to see what freedom anonymity gives people to express their true preferences. I think the most damaging part of this ad for him is the exclusion of MIT girls. Moreover, as the links point out, this is just the tip of the iceberg with respect to Craigslist Ads. Still, as an economist, I believe that a truthful revelation is best and he will likely get what he deserves -conditioned on his preference revelation- in the relationship market (not always what one wants).
Shit, what do you mean woman? I’m straight, but you know, this guy sounds so sexy I might have to switch teams. No Homo.
Sorry, I just watched the video again and couldn’t resist.
oh man
this is just ripe for the pranking
ooh I wish I were back in college, we’d have fun with this
Dateline’s “To Catch A Dumbass”
ohhhhh the chills i get from reading such ads now as they remind me of all the harrowing crap i had to sift through for my throwback article.
are you sure our man thomas lopez-pierre over at the harlem club didn’t pen this?
Is it a surprise his “relationship of two years ended disastrously earlier this summer”? I hope she left him for a brother.
Of course the racism and lookism stands out immediately in this ad. But the deeply rooted sexism ticks me off the most. “You should be able to hold a conversation,” but “know when to be quiet”? Excuse me? Who the bleep does this bleep think he is? He’s the one ordering a date on Craig’s List. Obviously he’s the one who can’t hold a real conversation, or he’d already have a friend to take this event.
And what is so wrong with women from MIT? Are they too intelligent, or not attractive enough?
bianca, it seems like for this guy, intelligence in a woman is equal to ugliness…
Craigslist, home of perverted, racist sleazebags since 1999!!!
Thank you, Craig Newmark!
i think ass-ist and jerk-ist trumps racist in describing this guy….
biana and wendi, he probably thinks MIT women are too geeky. as a wellesley alum, i’m amused that he said he specified tufts or wellesley. i guess people still think “trophy wife” when they hear wellesley.
What a douchebag. He probably has *no clue* as to why his last relationship broke up. Maybe she left him for an Asian MIT guy? 
Or perhaps she didn’t know when to be quiet.
Oh man, I know Harvard has a rep for stuffy-white-guy syndrome, but I really hope THIS could get buffooned on-campus.
Actually, it made me curious: come on, any readers w/ current Harvard contacts? Anyone know someone in this fool’s dorm? Someone give us the OTHER side of the story!
I see nothing at all wrong with this. He knows what he wants. Before you throw stones, you should read the average profile for a woman in Match.com or some of the others. The all read relatively the same; the woman is looking for the perfect man to make her life complete. They read like she’s ordering out of a catalog. So I say butch up ladies, he’s entitled to ask for what he wants.
“i guess people still think “trophy wife” when they hear wellesley.”
But of course. After all, Wellesley’s the alma mater of famous trophy wife Hillary Clinton, who knows just when to be quiet, and is way too meek and polite to think of upstaging a jerk like this.
“So I say butch up ladies, he’s entitled to ask for what he wants.”
Not only is he entitled to ask for what he wants, it’s a boon that he asks for what he wants, so the rest of the world can know just why he should be avoided. What he isn’t entitled to, is to ask for what he wants and not be ridiculed for it.
I’ll save my sympathy for the other half of that two-year relationship of his that ended so disastrously.
“And what is so wrong with women from MIT? Are they too intelligent, or not attractive enough?”
Bianca: Women from MIT are obviously quite intelligent. There’s also a 30% chance a student from MIT is Asian. Therefore, in that particular Harvard senior’s mind, MIT = bad.
“So I say butch up ladies, he’s entitled to ask for what he wants.”
Yes, Michael, and we’re entitled to make fun of him for being a classist, racist, misogynistic douchebag if we want. Also: its not just “ladies” who are offended by what the CL ad said. That’s rather revealing of your own presumptions.
Also: who uses the phrase “butch up”?
The only two people I know at Harvard are a black women and a gay man. Both of them would smack-a-bitch if they read this. Honestly, I always think the awful stereotypes of stuffy rich white boys are exaggerated…Apparently not. I like the fact that part of the “expectation” he must live up to is being showing up with a white girl. Or an Iranian or Hispanic girl…He didn’t specify that he found THEM repulsing.
Craigslist is a funny thing. I often practice my writing skills by posting personal ads, I’m always surprised who actually replies. I was inspired by the short movie Hello, Thanks on logo. I get a lot of interesting response from grad school students.
I agree with Michael.
Am trying really hard to understand what the big deal is with being excluded from someone’s dating preference.
Sorry but I can’t fault this dude for knowing and saying what he wants no matter who’s feelings get hurt. I’d rather this kind of thing is out in the open than simmering under wraps. I respect the guy for being up front. Im sure there are other eligible open minded harvard white males out there for you ladies.
I see nothing wrong with his post, considering there are Black men who want exactly the same thing.
Guys it seems that this man is racist BUT its called called preference, just because he doesn’t want minority women doesn’t mean he has to.
Well Ange, you took the words right out of my mouth. And to think, I’ve had to hear this Craigslist ad via conversations LOL.
The ad is racist and misogynistic all rolled up into one mouth-watering pile of cess. But somehow a man of actual class could have pulled this ad off without offending entire groups in one bloody swipe.
Good luck to him!
When your “preference” is based on race, that IS racism.
That’s the definition of racism. Why stop at dating? why not say an employer has a right to hire his “preference”? or maybe colleges should admit students entirely on “preference” of skin color? How about certain bars and clubs? maybe companies should start only selling products to people of the race they “prefer”.
If you think there’s nothing wrong with being racist, say that. But don’t say it’s not racist just because you agree with it.
Hats off to dnA, who got it exactly right. Its amazing how many people have race-sensitive dating “preferences” but claim to not be prejudiced. It’s amazing how many people insist they “don’t see color” but because of “Oh, its just my ‘preference’” won’t dream of dating a black or Asian person.
“I see nothing wrong with his post, considering there are Black men who want exactly the same thing.”
Ange: are you kidding me? That SOME black men might agree with the posting justifies it entirely? What about black men who don’t want the same thing? What about black men who would indeed find that Craigs List posting stupid and offensive? Are you not counting their opinions?
I can’t believe you people don’t see the problem with this ad. Seriously. Check yourself.
At least we at Smith are safe from douchebags like this… they think we’re all dykes. It’s a nice insulation! And I am a dyke, so all’s good. 
This just makes me laugh. Good freaking luck, asshole.
I bet this is for an evening of cross burning. I guess the guy who wrote this add forgot to mention No Irish and no Jews.
Quick thought: What if this turd is actually *lying* about the affiliations (but telling the truth about the preferences). Not that it makes things better, but this being online classifieds in general– and CL in particular– shouldn’t there be some table salt handy?
Bianca: “lookism”? This one exists for real?!? Lordy, now I know I have been away too long.
dnA: *shudder* I’m agreeing with you, so it must be Thursday…
Thank GOD I ‘know when to be quiet’. I know how men just can’t stand a yappin’ woman.
LOL He’s a loser that is why he has to buy a girlfriend on the internet.
sorry I cant let this go. There are to many of yall running around thinking IR relationships is the sign of racial harmony like the world is all of a sudden going to change for the better if we engage in some kind of color blind love orgy. I could care less what some dud wants to date, marry,or sticks his penis in. And I’ll be damn if some one tells me where to put mine.
“I see nothing wrong with his post, considering there are Black men who want exactly the same thing.”
Black men who absolutely must have a skinny, blonde, above average height (and suitably quiet) Wellesley or Tufts woman to date them because they’re so all-fired “upscale” that said skinny Wellesley blonde will never, ever have had an approach from someone so stinking rich upscale and classy? Black men who think they’ll disappoint everyone’s expectations if they show up at a party with an Asian woman instead of an actual blonde? Not bloody likely, even among Black men at elite schools and whose parents have money.
“Sorry but I can’t fault this dude for knowing and saying what he wants no matter who’s feelings get hurt. ”
This isn’t a guy with a physical type that’s confined to skinny blondes (whatever one might think of that). This is a guy who’s made it clear that his whole point is to have arm candy with all the proper status indicators. And his idea of looking good is white, skinny, and subservient. And people who want to be thought well of for such things deserve to be poked fun of.
Either that, or it’s someone’s spoof of Harvard snobbery. Actually, the latter is a strong possibility.
“Im sure there are other eligible open minded harvard white males out there for you ladies.”
Well, I can’t say it should break anyone’s heart not to date this particular one. If he is indeed a real Harvard man at all.
I don’t see anything inherently “wrong” with the ad, just that this guy has a terrible taste in women. Might as well just say “I want a dumb, hot blondes with big boobies just like the one I saw in Playboy.” Life of privileged white tragedy lies ahead for him.
Bravo to him for saying exactly what he wants. Forget the PC-speak. All you have to do is go read some of the hilarious singles ads from women on Match and others. Its as if they are ordering from a catalog. Bravo, Bravo. And its women that are taught to grow up and marry a nice doctor or lawyer, and to sponge off of them. But of course thats OK. The thread from ladies in this room remind me of that scene from Jerry Maguire where the living room is full of divorced, cynical bitter women trying to deal with thier emotions over divorce, or their marriage
If he had any sense we would take a BAP who attended any of the seven sister schools or “GASP” an HBCU who learned small talk in Jack and Jill and from various sorority and club functions her parents made her attend and would come with her own ballgown(s) and tiara and probably knows the some of the members of the board of directors because they are her parents friends who hang out on Martha’s Vineyard or in the Hamptons.
I don’t know why people don’t realize there is a Black elite that has been around for years. But this poor guy, the way he is describing the event. I think he is a newcomer to the social scene. Obviously a social climber (said in a snotty british accent).
sorry I cant let this go. There are to many of yall running around thinking IR relationships is the sign of racial harmony like the world is all of a sudden going to change for the better if we engage in some kind of color blind love orgy. I could care less what some dud wants to date, marry,or sticks his penis in. And I’ll be damn if some one tells me where to put mine.
Mike, I think that there is almost palpable lack of concern on here on the planet earth with regards to where you “stick your penis”.
I think the part that raises my eyebrows the most is that he is looking for someone to *appear* with him, not an actual person. He’ll even “procure” an evening gown to complete the look. It’s sad thinking of the person who would respond to such an ad thinking this was somehow glamorous, spending time with somebody to make them look good while you…. what? soak in the glories of the party atmosphere? (har) It’s woman as accessory, not as a person. It’s demeaning. The ad is especially offensive when it implies that only thin blond subservient white girls belong in a “classy” atmosphere. Oh, I got your “classy” right here.
bdsista - “we” don’t want his kind at Oak Bluffs!! 
In the interest of time, he should probably just go straight to the high-end escort services. A woman who TRULY meets his looks and educational criteria will not respond to this ad (perhaps cause she’s with his ex?).
I still don’t get why people use CL for anything other than 1/br 1/ba pets ok woof.
dnA said,
When your “preference” is based on race, that IS racism.
YES! And if I might add, if race is a function of your decision, then you’re obviously subscribing to some racialized concept of who people are and not who the individual is… It never ceases to amaze me how people say they have racial preferences, quote how many Black, Asian, Latino and sometimes White friends they have and then turn round and say they only have certain “preferences”? Which should make anyone wonder what you mean by “friendship”.
If you think there’s nothing wrong with being racist, say that. But don’t say it’s not racist just because you agree with it.
I mean it’s one thing to say you’re looking for someone who shares the same cultural outlook and expectations that you have, but it’s quite another to use race as a proxy for those expectations…
Shit, even cultural similarities will not guarantee anything. I’m Black, Nigerian and American, Yoruba, Ijebu and Ekiti does that mean that someone of the exact same cultural background will share the same outlook in life?
Which is why I find it equally problematic and taxing when self-righteous folks tell me that I should have a preference for Black women because I’m a Black man. Black women are beautiful. Period. No less and no more, than Asian, Native American, Latina, White or any other woman. While I strive against social forces and structures that pit themselves against the wellbeing of Black women (and all women), on a personal level I cannot use a woman’s race as a measure of her attractiveness. To do so would be to essentialize her, deny her humanity and agency, and deny the uniqueness that makes her and our relationship what we want to make of it. Rhetorical, but a whole ‘nother story for some other day.
On a lighter note, I have to add that this was priceless.
I think that there is almost palpable lack of concern on here on the planet earth with regards to where you “stick your penis”.
Sewere walks off with his hands in the air singing dnA’s praise.
This ad is very sad. I will give him points for having the balls to say all that he did, but it doesn’t make it any less sad.
The complete lack of respect for the female gender, including the ones he’s specified for, is disturbing at best. It’s apalling in the fact that many won’t even bat a eyelash at his opinions, if not the manner he spoke it in.
I highly doubt he views women as people. I want to say I’m almost positive that the world would be better off without him and those similar.
I’ve seen tons of ads from Asian women that desire white men only or specifically mention that Asian men shouldn’t bother.
It’s been going on for quite a long time now so why is it such an “outrage” now?
I don’t think most white women who even fit his exact description would even like the guy if he’s really putting himself out like this.But if that’s what he wants it’s what he wants.Personally I wouldn’t limit myself like that(give me a chance at all of the ladies of whatever race lol), but that’s just ME.I have no right to tell other people what they should like.Or even get angry by it.By the way how did black men get into this topic anyway lol?
Maybe given Star Simpson’s newfound popularity, he should revisit the fun factor smart women of color from MIT can bring to any party.
He might want to remove any nearby electronics components and Play Dough, and maybe encourage her to ditch the hoodies in favor of something dressier, but still, who knows what might develop?
Shorter Rob: “What’s wrong with racism?”
DnA said: “When your “preference” is based on race, that IS racism.”
My question is this: Does that make affirmative action racist in your mind? (I am not anti-AA, just a Devil’s Advocate, really)
Any time a person is disassembling others into physical parts only, male or female, for any situation, I rarely condone it.
I don’t support superficiality. Though I’m certainly not for moderating how people choose to represent themselves (I’m glad he’s putting himself out in the open with his opinions, and I encourage more people to do it, if only to know who they are), but I am not obligated to respect it, and I’m certainly do not plan to.
“Ooh, I look on the outside first!” Good for you. Don’t get mad at me for thinking I’m just a bit better than you for it.
I’m tired of trying to put shallowness as a respectable human trait; I know many others feel that way, but I can’t swallow it, so I’ve stopped trying.
I think it’s problematic to have a conversation about race divorced from a conversation about equality. But AA, as problematic as it might be from an abstract standpoint, considers a great many factors other than race.
so i decided to go on CL (bay area) and see what this was all about- the first post i came accross actually says this ”
I live near a church that serves the Philippine population, and every Sunday I see all these beautiful Filipina women, dressed in their Sunday best, their hair long and styled, having coffee before church, walking there, chatting… and I have to admit that I want one! ”
and it just goes on from there!- wow, nothing changes does it?
Actually, I’m just going to post it to prevent its being lost to the sands of time….
I need a cute Asian girlfriend to complete my look - 29
——————————————————————————–
Reply to: pers-449585058@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-10-15, 11:31AM EDT
I’ve got the nice condo in a funky little neighborhood, decorated with vintage movie posters and mementos of my foreign travel. I have the job that sounds much more interesting than it actually is. Ditto the subscription to Foreign Affairs magazine, the jazz and indie rock CDs, the tweed newsboy hat, and the eminently reasonable center-left political opinions. Yep, everything about me just screams: “why, here is a thoughtful and worldly fellow, but not one who takes himself too seriously.” It’s a carefully cultivated image.
But I’m still missing the most crucial part, the piece de resistance that will cement me as king of the-guys-who-you-really-ought-to-invite-to-your-cocktail-party. Namely: the Pretty Asian Girlfriend (or PAG).
There aren’t a lot of hard-and-fast requirements for being a PAG. You have to be smarter and better looking than me, but that really isn’t very hard. The most important thing is that you make lots of clever observations when you’re in my presence. Later on, people will say “hey, did you meet that guy with his Pretty Asian Girlfriend? What a charming couple! We should have them over for dinner.”
Everybody loves the PAG, you see. She’s comfortably exotic. She adds a special frisson of mystery to every encounter, but not so much that anyone feels uncomfortable. Once, I thought I could accomplish this with a simple GWATR (Girlfriend With A Tongue Ring). The disastrous company Christmas party last year proved otherwise; nobody asks a PAG if she got that thing just for giving head.
I’m a SWM, 6 feet tall, and interested in reducing everyone to a trivial stereotype. Plus, I speak Korean! It’s like we were made for each other.
As for AA,ofcourse it’s racist..sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.
When there’s no more discrimination the need for AA will be no more!
What bothers me is that whites would like to keep some of their racial preferences, such as a mate based strictly on skin color (not culture) and segregated Greek Organizations, while they complain all the time about Affirmative Action racial preferences, Black Students Union and Asian American Studies Program where preferences are given to people of color. Why the double standards? Anything based on race is racist, be it choosing a dating partner or an applicant for a job.
Well, I’m a black woman, tall, attractive (at least some men think so), in shape, and well educated, and I don’t think this Harvard student is all that different from many people who write personal ads, regardless of race. He simply doesn’t obscure his racism, sexism, lookism, and classism in a “personals rhetoric” that takes the sting out of his assumptions about and associations around race, gender, looks, and class. Many people have “preferences” when it comes to dating, but they don’t typically state outright that they believe the people they don’t want to date are inferior to the people they do want to date. They imply it. I can’t tell you how many times I have read personals in which men make it clear that they don’t want any responses from non-white and/or overweight women by simply stating that they’re looking for an “in shape, petite, white female, with long hair” or ads in which women say that they’re looking for “a tall, attractive, black, financially succesful man.” The problem I think people are having with this gentleman’s ad, I believe, is that it’s direct rather than indirect. He doesn’t just say what he wants; he also states what he doesn’t want and that’s a no-no these days.
Carmen Van Kerckhove is co-founder and president of New Demographic, an anti-racism training company. She hosts the podcast Addicted to Race and blogs at Racialicious, Anti-Racist Parent, and Race in the Workplace.
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