Notes from the workplace
by guest contributor Luke Lee, originally published at real men are not
So far, about 5 co-workers total have asked me in varying ways “what are you?” Almost all of them I answered honestly and I wasn’t that bothered by it because they, most importantly, didn’t ask immediately (you know, they actually waited to get to know me first) and they waited for some natural context of conversation. I’ve written too many times about this and the “I like [insert race/ethnicity] [gender]” so i’m not going to rehash but today as i’m sitting there at work, one of our “clients” comes up to me and it goes like:
Guy who looked like Howard Stern: Hey, what are you?
Me: What?
Guy: Your race. Are you Filipino? You’re Filipino?
Me: No.
Guy: Japanese?
Me: No.
Guy: Chinese?
Me: No. [Guy is baffled but amused]
Guy: Mexican?
Me: No.
Guy: What?! What else is there?! [Guy is still baffled but not offended that I just won’t flat out tell him]
Me: (Shrug)
Guy: Russian? Are you Russian?
Me: No. (Asks Guy work-related service question)
Guy: ALEUT! You’re an Aleut!
Me: No.
Guy: Oh cah-maaann!!!! (laughs)
Me: (chuckle)
Carmen Van Kerckhove is co-founder and president of 
susanc wrote:
Deja vu…I’ve had this conversation a few times before. And in one case, it went on for quite a bit, since I wasn’t telling and the guy wouldn’t give up his guessing. It was pretty amusing to see how many different races/ethnicities he could think of!
Posted 17 Nov 2006 at 10:44 am ¶
J wrote:
Isn’t this more typical when white asiaphiles try to pick up Asian girls? This is so typical that’s its probably the Asiaphile’s worst-kept “secret”.
I’ve RARELY had or seen white women try this on me.
Posted 17 Nov 2006 at 3:46 pm ¶
Marsha wrote:
J-
Yes, I think the “What are you?” question is def. used as a pick up line by guys. When I refuse to tell a strange guy what my background is, sometimes their response is, “I want to know ’cause you’re a beautiful woman…” (eye roll)
On the flip side, when some white women ask the question, it is like they are asking it in an angry or aggressive manner. Maybe they are trying to suss out their “competition” thinking that some “women of color” have stereotypical attributes that white men might find attractive.
Posted 17 Nov 2006 at 5:59 pm ¶
Andrew wrote:
I’ll share an experience. I kind of look like a cross between Sayid from LOST and Andy Samburg (the guy from SNL), but I’m 6′4”, and as we all know, being tall = being black, am I right?
So when I get the “what are you/what’s your background/where are you from” question, I like to make the most random shit up.
“Where are your parents from?”
“Oh, my dad is from Zimbabwe, and my mom is from Siberia.”
I’m not saying that it’s impossible for a kid to be a mix of those two countries, I’m really just pulling random countries out of my ass.
I’ve gotten away with China + Niger, India + England, Brazillian + Japanese, etc.
Really, though, my dad is a Tamil Sri Lankan, and my mom is from a small country in South America called Guyana. :/
I don’t mind when people are curious about me, but when they ask it in such a certain “WHAT ARE YOU?! OMG! WHAT THE HELL?! STOP TALKING ON YOUR CELLPHONE AND ACKNOWLEDGE MY QUESTION HERE IN THE LINE AT THE BANK!” kind of way, they deserve a weirdass answer.
Posted 17 Nov 2006 at 8:31 pm ¶
Susan Ayoob wrote:
When people ask these questions, it never occurs to them that it is NOT the first time I’ve had this kind of interrogation. That they’re the first person to be stunned by my racial heritage. So yeah sometimes I do get a little impatient- think before you ask a dumb question people!
Posted 17 Nov 2006 at 8:32 pm ¶
Dag Nasty wrote:
I’ve always enjoyed when people ask me this question. They always come off like they’re watching this gripping drama of some sort. My mother is Puero Rican and Scottish, and my father is Black, so my appearance is very light skin, green eyes. I also grow red, black, AND blonde hair. When I explain it to them, they seem mystified. Why? Down here in the part of the South that I live in, if you’re not white, black, or Mexican, you are a cultural phenomenon. : )
Posted 19 Nov 2006 at 1:17 pm ¶