The dumpling manifesto
by Carmen Van Kerckhove
Tim Wu just wrote a hilariously obsessive column for Slate bemoaning the poor quality of dumplings available in the U.S.
Jen, I feel like this is such a you kind of post. Not only is it about food, but it’s just begging for some of Jen Chau’s patented corny puns. 
Dumpling rage, like road rage, strikes without warning. My first attack came in my mid-20s, while dining at Raku, a Washington, D.C., “pan-Asian” restaurant. I made the mistake of ordering something called Chinese dumplings. Out came a bamboo steamer containing what resembled aged marshmallows—dumplings cooked so long they were practically glued to the bottom of the container. Try as I might, I could not pry them loose, until one ripped in half, yielding a small meatball of dubious composition.
It was an outrage. To my friends’ embarrassment, I stood up and shouted at our waiter:
“What are these?”
“Dumplings,” he said.
“These,” I said, “are not dumplings. The skin is too thick. The meat is too small. It’s been cooked too long. The folding is done all wrong.” My friends begged me to stop, and the manager threatened to call the police.
Carmen Van Kerckhove is co-founder and president of 
mamazilla wrote:
what’s REALLY weird is when i go to a chinese restaurant (owned and operated by chinese people) and their dumplings SUCK. what’s THAT about?!
i begin to wonder if they make and serve a dumpling that they know “joe schmo” will buy and eat. is it possible that an authentic dumpling is too adventurous for the general public’s palate?
this is the one thing i miss about living in the bay area. there, i could find a good chinese restaurant in virtually every neighborhood. now, i have to trek up to chinatown.
Posted 29 Sep 2006 at 11:56 am ¶
Danni wrote:
Yeah, I’ve been to Raku…It’s very disappointing.
Food is a tough issue to tackle.
Posted 30 Sep 2006 at 1:13 am ¶
belledame222 wrote:
SOUP DUMPLINGS gasp slobber.
ooh i want to trek up to Flushing for some now.
Posted 02 Oct 2006 at 5:59 am ¶
Admin wrote:
can i come too?
damn people. stop the dumpling talk!!! i’m hungry and there is no way i can head to flushing now. though….i AM only a few brief stops away. belledame222, um…. dumpling rendevous? haha 
~JC
Posted 02 Oct 2006 at 7:35 pm ¶
gatamala wrote:
hahahahaha I went to Raku & had the SAME damn thing happen to me!!!!
Posted 03 Oct 2006 at 8:52 am ¶
belledame222 wrote:
JC–hey, didn’t know you were in NY! sure!
you’re in Queens? whereabouts?
Posted 26 Nov 2006 at 12:55 am ¶