It’s Not All About You, or The Case for Empathy

by Carmen Van Kerckhove

Back in 2004 when I first started speaking and blogging about race, I was invited to facilitate a phone discussion with a group of parents who had adopted children from outside the United States.

One of the mothers in the group was white and Jewish. She adopted her son from an African country, and was raising him in her faith. She told me that she wanted my advice on a situation she was dealing with.

Her nanny was a Jamaican woman. One day, the nanny came home and the mother noticed she looked upset. The mother asked her what was wrong, but the nanny just shook her head and said everything was fine.

The mother was concerned, so she kept prodding, but the nanny was still reluctant to say anything. The mother was persistent, and told her that this was a safe space for her to share. She said there wouldn’t be any judgments, no matter what it was about.

Finally, the nanny broke down and said, “You people don’t know how to act!”

She explained that anytime she took the child for play dates in their mostly white and Jewish neighborhood, parents would treat her brusquely and avoid eye contact. Whenever she went to a store, salespeople would follow her around to make sure she didn’t steal anything. When she went to pay for items, the cashier would treat take great pains not to touch her hand when giving her change back.

She had been putting up with this kind of discrimination for a long time now because she loved working with this family, but she didn’t know how much longer she could go on as it was wearing on her emotionally.

“Can you believe that?” the mother asked me, her voice shaking with anger.

I was about to respond by expressing how sorry I was that this level of prejudice existed in her community, when the mother continued.

“I’m going to fire her! How dare she call Jews ‘you people!’ I’m Jewish and my son is Jewish. I’m just going to have to fire her because I don’t feel safe around her anymore.”

I was stunned.

Not only did the mother completely ignore the very real discrimination her nanny was dealing with; she managed to turn the entire situation around so that she became the victim.

In subsequent years, I’ve come to realize that this kind of behavior is not at all unusual.

If anything it’s the norm, not the exception, for people to be pre-occupied with their own suffering and supremely uninterested in hearing about the oppression others face.

This lack of empathy is one of the biggest roadblocks we face in dismantling racism.

If we’re serious about social justice, we need to recognize that when one of us is discriminated against, it’s an affront to us all.

Quoted: Resistance on Club Membership

I talk to white people about being “kicked out of the club.” It’s the moment that they realize that speaking up about race or racism distances them from other white people.  It’s when they find out that other white people won’t necessarily support them when they raise issues of racism.  I have tried to be empathic with them as they struggle with the perceived loss they suffer when doing what’s right means being ostracized.

I try to have compassion because the Now Me knows how the Then Me felt.  The Then Me often didn’t speak up.  The Then Me was somewhat passive aggressive.  The Then Me would quit a job rather than deal with repeated acts of racism, even when those acts weren’t directly aimed at me.

Then Me realized this was suicide.

Then Me knew that typically nobody would speak up if I didn’t.  And Then Me knew that I couldn’t live a lie.

So what are the risks and rewards of being anti-racist?  I feel funny writing “risks” (I was “taking a risk”),  just as I wrote “perceived loss” a few paragraphs ago.  I wrote that white people suffer a “perceived loss” when they are ostracized by other white people, because I would like to believe that it’s not a loss when you find out who other people truly are.  Or when you find out who you are yourself.

Then Me was a silent person.  Now Me has a voice.

So now I know., by Resistance

Good To Know: Sarah Palin Believes In Racial Profiling, Glenn Beck

by Latoya Peterson, originally published at Jezebel

Sarah Palin believes that political correctness is for fools and racial profiling is the way to stop violence. Thing is, if (as she tells Sean Hannity) “liberals’ heads explode” over her comments, it’ll be due to exposure to utter stupidity.

The only good I can see coming from Sarah Palin’s media march is that any possibility of her running for President in 2012 will, most likely, be shot to hell.

First, she’s on Newsmax, calling Fox News comedian Glenn Beck “effective“:

Glenn Beck I have great respect for. He’s a hoot. He gets his message across in such a clever way. And he’s so bold – I have to respect that. He calls it like he sees it, and he’s very, very, very effective.”

Of course you think he’s a hoot – what he does is comedy! Continue Reading »

Did CNN say “ya basta” to Lou Dobbs?

By Guest Contributor Tomas, originally published at Latino Like Me

After several months of a focused internet and social media campaign pressuring CNN to fire Lou Dobbs, the xenophobic pundit announced tonight he is leaving CNN effectively immediately.

BastaDobbs.org–the virtual Latino coalition which led the campaign against CNN–is claiming victory. “We are thrilled that Dobbs no longer has this legitimate platform from which to incite fear and hate,” said Roberto Lovato. Lovato, who is an accomplished writer, is also the founder of the Latino-advocacy group Presente.org, the lead organization behind the anti-Dobbs campaign.  “The community is newly empowered and energized,” he continued, “and we are ready to fight for a respectful and civil media discourse when it comes to immigration coverage on mainstream news.”

I couldn’t be happier that Lou Dobbs’ uncritical voice of hate is off the air.  I am a firm defender of anyone’s right to free speech, but I am also fiercely opposed to the  notion that we are better as a society if we provide a platform for all speech.  Television news–and cable news in particular–has moved into an era where providing a “safe space” for the voices from the political extreme has come to substitute for critical discourse and constructive debate.  That isn’t the news and it isn’t “fair and balanced.” It’s petty, and it’s lazy, and it needs to evolve.

Continue Reading »

Time Magazine on Gender, Migrant Work & Rape

By Deputy Editor Thea Lim

Time Magazine reports on women migrant workers who have been raped, and the resulting pregnancies:

While globalization has turned much of the world into a wide-open labor market, it has also created complex human and societal dramas. Women account for up to 50% of the world’s 100 million–strong migrant-worker population — and there is no effective entity to protect their rights and dignity. In 2008, Indonesians working abroad, commonly as domestic staff in the Middle East and parts of Asia, contributed about $6.8 billion to their national economy via remittances, according to the World Bank. And while statistics are difficult to come by, there are increasing reports of many who are physically abused, raped and — in some cases — killed by their employers…

…female migrant workers are raped and then dumped on the streets by their employers, who refuse to give them their passports after discovering that the women are pregnant. The women are then arrested by police and placed in jail. Sometimes they are deported before the child is born.

Normawati says there are dozens of children who were abandoned by migrant workers in homes throughout Jakarta and surrounding areas.

I really appreciate the way this article draws attention to the intersection of gender and workers’ rights.  The article focuses on Indonesian women working in Saudi Arabia and Jordan, but their stories are an illustration of a wider problem — those hit hardest by callous economic policies are almost always poor women of colour.

But it must be said that I do not care for the way Time Magazine characterises the women migrant workers.  The article doesn’t interview any actual migrant workers;  as a result both the mothers and the children they leave are painted as voiceless victims, when there is definitely a lot more to their existence than that. (For example, the women are referred to as “raped migrant mothers” – not “women who were raped while doing migrant work.” Potentially a small difference, but the first phrase reduces the women to the word “raped.”)  As well the article repeatedly emphasises how these women have ABANDONED their children; leaving the reader with a rather crude and over-simplified picture of women in unimaginable situations, forced to make terrible choices.

Continue Reading »

The Racialicious Roundtable For Flash Forward 1.8

Hosted by Special Correspondent Arturo R. García

globe1

Maybe we’re just bad luck.

I mean, you saw what happened to Heroes on the Roundtable’s watch. Now comes word that Flash Forward is slipping, ratings-wise. If I’d known about this effect sooner I would’ve started convening Glee roundtables.

Just kidding, Mahsino!

But, anyway, dear readers, what do you make of this show getting beat out in the ratings by … by the Vampire Diaries? In the meantime, let’s cover “Playing Cards With Coyote”:

al1Best thing about this week’s episode: consistent (or at least, constant) follow-up on Al’s “gift” to Demetri. I also thought Celia getting 15 minutes of fame out of it was an interesting touch. Your thoughts?
Diana: I don’t know if I missed something, but the logic seemed kind of flawed to me. I did not know Al knew Celia’s full name/identity. With that said, I still mourn Al’s loss and wonder if there could have been a less drastic measure to achieve the same outcome. But then I guess it would not be as dramatic and worth putting on the front page of a newspaper that the future could be changed.
jen*: I’m with you Diana – how would Demetri know to deliver the letter to her if Al stated in the letter that he didn’t even know her last name? Maybe he used Mosaic?
Arturo: I think Al mentioned cross-referenced her with his vision in Mosaic during last week’s ep. It stands to reason – though, in retrospect, it should’ve been spelled out – that Dem or somebody did the same.

Continue Reading »

Quoted: Malika Saada Saar on the ‘Precious’ Ending That Should Have Been Shown


This movie is in many ways a fairy tale. The character Precious gets to be saved by a caring caseworker and a loving teacher. In real life, poor, undereducated and sexually victimized girls are most likely to end up in the juvenile justice system.

I see it all the time. There is the 13-year-old who became pregnant to stop her uncle from raping her — a girl whom I met not at an incest survivors group but in a girls’ detention facility. Or the girl raped so many times by age 13 that she feels worthy of being prostituted and cannot see a life for herself beyond jail. Or the girl who was kidnapped by a pimp, repeatedly raped by him, prostituted by him — only to be arrested and placed behind bars for prostitution.

Girls in the United States are subject to violence with horrifying frequency. One in three American girls will experience sexual violence by age 18, regardless of race or class. Girls ages 16 to 19 across the ethnic and economic spectrum are four times more likely than others to be victims of rape, attempted rape or sexual assault. No girl is safe from being raped, exploited or abused. Continue Reading »

Unreported

by Guest Contributor Fiqah, originally published at Possum Stew
[NOTE: This post was originally penned back in September. The police officer in question is obviously no longer a threat to my safety. However, because a lot of what I discuss in this post is triggering, it took me a while to get to a place where I felt comfortable posting it.  If you have any bad experiences with police harassment or street/sidewalk harassment, you might want to skip this post altogether.]


Today I cried on a stack of lemons at the supermarket. I should note here that crying in public, much less on produce, is atypical Fiqah behavior. Public crying is embarrassing AND unattractive, and as a pretty and vain chronic sinusitis sufferer, I know that Puffy-Sobby-Wetface is NOT my best look. But today, that’s exactly what I did: stuck my elbows in a stack of sunny yellow lemons, buried my face in my palms, and sobbed. It was early afternoon, and the produce section was thankfully empty. I don’t know how long I stood there before I was able to collect myself, wipe my obviously-been-crying face, clean my smeary glasses, and make my purchase. I ignored the eyes of the cashier, the concerned and alarmed expression of the man bagging my groceries, and the fiery burning of my beet-red ears as I left the store. You fucking idiot! I thought as I made my way back home. You forgot he was there!

I guess now would be a good time to explain myself.

For the past month or so, I have been the recipient of the unwanted attentions of a cop. This officer, whose beat is at a park in my neighborhood, first approached me when I was coming back from running some morning errands. At the time, I was carrying a few large shopping bags and wearing ear buds blasting M.I.A. I didn’t see him until he was right next to me, grabbing one of the heavier bags right out of my hand and startling me stupid. The cop, a Latino man in his late thirties, purred a too-familiar “hello” and told me that he it looked like I needed some help. All this as he took off his sunglasses and frankly assessed my bosom. A chill had gone through my whole body as I’d smiled and stammered a nervous thank you, moving my purse around to from my side to my front in an attempt to cover my breasts. Continue Reading »

‘Couples Retreat’ Advertising: Now You See POC, Now You Don’t

By Special Correspondent Arturo R. García

RetreatUS

Let’s play a little game of Photoshop sleight-of-hand. See the poster up there for Couples’ Retreat? Now look below:

RetreatUK

Presto! Somewhere over the Pond, Faizon Love and Kali Hawk disappeared from the poster, as the 2nd version was the one used to promote the film in the U.K. As reported on Yahoo, a spokesman for the film’s distributor, Universal, said the move was made “to simplify the poster to actors who are most [recognizable] in international markets.”

But two years ago, in a New York Times article, BET head Reginald Hudlin had a different theory:

“I always call international the new South … In the old days, they told you black films don’t travel down South. Now they say it’s not going to travel overseas.”

Both the Times and Entertainment Weekly cited, among other films, Dreamgirls as an example of the “doesn’t travel well” theory, noting the discrepancy between its’ showings in the international and U.S. box-offices; only 38 percent of its’ total business came from markets abroad. But that was a marked success compared to, say, Hustle & Flow, which only got 6 percent of its’ business outside of the States.

While reading the EW article, here’s one theory a reader posted regarding this trend:

I believe that as Black Actors make more movies that don’t SEEM to be made for African-American Audiences. they’ll do better abroad. As much as I like Eddie Murphy, his movies from Norbit to The Nutty Professor are more, how can I say it, aimed at what he thinks Black audiences will enjoy. And they don’t have international appeal.

So here’s some questions, readers: Is more critically-acclaimed fare like Hustle & Flow and Dreamgirls getting dragged down by the Norbits of the world? Is this a response/push-back against the American film industry relegating more diverse stories to the art houses and film festival circuit? What are your thoughts?

Fort Hood and the Media

by Latoya Peterson

It was a peaceful Sunday morning. Sunlight streamed in through the windows, the sheets were clean, the pillows were fluffy. I settled into bed and got nice and comfortable – that is, until my boyfriend decided it was time for the Sunday talk show circuit.

“[Hasan] was a radical jihadist!” blared out of the television. There went my quiet morning. Atlasien has a piece in the works about Fort Hood and some of the other major headlines. Until then, here’s a relatively sane round-up of what’s been going on:

Fort Hood and the invisibility of Arab Americans – Washington Post Short Stack Blog

Arab-American history is long and deep in the United States but Arab and Muslim Americans are not part of how we imagine who we are as Americans or how we perceive what makes up the American experience. Now, in the national discussion among commentators, politicians, and others in the aftermath of Ft. Hood, we can see the dangerous effects of Arab-American invisibility; in that vacuum, acts of a single individual, Major Hasan, cast a shadow of collective guilt on millions of Americans.

Timothy McVeigh warped the interpretations of the Constitution but we easily dismissed that without pondering whether there was inherent evil in the Constitution. The same cannot be said of how we view the relationship between the Koran and violent behavior – we unfairly blame individuals’ horrific acts on the teachings of the Koran. We ignore needed discussion of evident mental health issues, which were the focus when other service people have cracked and murdered their colleagues, and instead engage in lazy analysis about ethnic predilection of violence.

How can we move the conversation forward? If we knew more about the soldiers mentioned above and other Arab Americans, if their stories were familiar to us, if the origins of their names recognizable to us, how would the conversation be different?

Continue Reading »

Who Is the Haitian?

by Latoya Peterson

Arise Magazine has an interview with Jimmy Jean-Louis. Jean-Louis, a model/dancer/actor is best known stateside for portraying “The Haitian” in Heroes. From what I can remember of the Heroes recaps, quite a bit of the snarking revolved around the shrinking role of PoC on the show and the falling ratings. So I was amused to read:

Jean-Louis continues to brood mysteriously on our small screen this autumn as season four of the hugely successful sci-fi drama goes on air. “We are shooting it now, and it’s going great,” Jean-Louis says. So what fantastic superhuman twists and turns can we look forward to? Naturally, his lips are sealed, but you can be sure The Haitian won’t be far from the action. A fixture on the show since the beginning, he’s an ambiguous figure who uses his superpower – an ability to erase people’s memories – sparingly and wisely.

Really? I think I need to check with Arturo on this one…

At any rate, some of the behind the scenes details were revealed:

The role now seems to suited to the 41-year-old actor that it’s hard to believe he first tried out for DL Hawkins (Leonard Roberts). “I auditioned for DL three times, and the producers said ‘No, no, no.’ It was only later, while I was in Africa promoting the film Phat Girlz, that they called my manager and asked me to audition again for another role,” he recalls. “He told them I wasn’t even in town, even after I got back to Los Angeles, until they finally offered the part to me without seeing me, which is unheard of in TV.”

The part was originally meant to be from New Zealand and called The Kiwi but was changed to The Haitian to suit Jean-Louis’ roots. “We went through a few names, but the reaction from the audience to the Haitian was so great that they kept it. And you know what – I like it because it helps me promote Haiti. Heroes has made me a reference for Haiti and has inspired me to go back and help Haiti.”

Addicted to Race 126 – gay rights, Precious, black men on CNN, mommy memoirs

by Carmen Van Kerckhove

Addicted to Race is our weekly talk show podcast about all things race. Here’s a rundown of what you’ll find in this episode:

What are some strategies for overcoming resistance to gay rights in the African-American community? Does the movie Precious exploit black dysfunction? Did CNN’s special on “Black Men in the Age of President Obama” reinforce stereotypes about black gay men? Given the popularity of “mommy memoirs,” why aren’t there more women of color writing these books? Tami Winfrey Harris, Andrea Plaid, and Dumi Lewis discuss.

Addicted to Race is broadcast live every Sunday afternoon at 12 pm Eastern. You can listen live on our BlogTalkRadio page and call in by dialing 347-996-3958.

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East West Talks to John Cho About Race and Hollywood [Cho-licious]

John ChoEast West Magazine is back! And for their first issue, they interviewed John Cho about his experiences with race and acting:

He recently followed in idol George Takei’s footsteps as Sulu in the Star Trek remake and is set to star in A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas when buddy Kal Penn wraps his presidential advisory gig next summer.

In the meantime, he hopes to settle in to life on the small screen and continue to make a mark in terms of diversity. While Cho admits he’s seeing many Asian Americans on TV – from Lost to Grey’s Anatomy to Melrose Place to The Office – he still sees room for improvement.

John Cho, ABC’s Flash Forward“Don’t get me wrong, the FBI agent is great – and I’m very happy to see the numbers. But I mean, they got hospital shows wrong for so many years – so to this day, I’m just happy to see Asians as doctors on TV.” says Cho. “But my character on Flash Forward was not written as Asian, and I think that’s still pretty common. When I was cast, David [David Goyer, creator of Flash Forward] asked me if I wanted to change the character’s last name to a Korean name, and I said yes, so we did.” Continue Reading »

Are you an authentic American?

By Guest Contributor Madhuri, originally published at Restore Fairness

“Police officers giving drivers $204 tickets for not speaking English? It sounds like a rejected Monty Python sketch. Except the grim reality is that it has happened at least 39 times in Dallas since January 2007….All but one of the drivers were Hispanic.”

Reporting on the issue, a New York Times editorial asks the question – is racism alive and kicking in America? If this were a one off incident, it could be an aberration. But 39 times makes it a growing pattern of injustice.

So how does one question who or who is not an American? Does it have to do with language, race, ethnicity, how long one has been in the United States – or is it about the more legal aspect of possessing citizenship.

Recently, an incredible achievement by Meb Keflezighi’s, winner of Men’s NYC Marathon, kicked off a number of doubts about whether this is truly an “American” achievement, or one imported in from outside.

“Meb Keflezighi, who won yesterday in New York, is technically American by virtue of him becoming a citizen in 1998, but the fact that he’s not American-born takes away from the magnitude of the achievement the headline implies.”

Comments from a CNBC Sports Business Reporter who half apologized in a post the next morning.

“Frankly I didn’t account for the fact that virtually all of Keflezighi’s running experience came as a U.S. citizen. I never said he didn’t deserve to be called American.”

Keflezighi came to the United States when he was 12 from war torn Eritrea. Is that enough time for him to be an American? Ironically the last American to win the marathon was also born in another country – Cuba. Alberto Salazar’s comments from a New York Times article are insightful.

What if Meb’s parents had moved to this country a year before he was born? At what point is someone truly American? Only if your family traces itself back to 1800, will it count?

Continue Reading »

When Systems of Oppression Intersect Part II: Transphobia and the Immigration System

By Deputy Editor Thea Lim

**TRIGGER WARNING**: The following post is about physical and sexual abuse in detention, and focuses on a trans woman who has chosen to speak out about the abuse she endured. Her choice is incredibly brave and her story is deeply distressing.

Restore Fairness has a post about Esmeralda, a trans woman from Mexico who came to the US to seek asylum, only to endure sexual abuse in an American immigration detention centre.  Her story, like many others, speaks to the way that the immigration system intersects with other forms of oppression, often in an unspeakably cruel and dehumanising way.

The Restore Fairness article states:

Transferred far away from their homes and families, stories are rife of how detainees are denied visitation, access to lawyers, medical care, and are subject to physical and verbal abuse. Many vulnerable people, including asylum seekers, pregnant women, children, lawful permanent residents and even U.S. citizens are among those detained.

Listen to Esmeralda’s voice of courage and take action now to fix a broken detention system.

The article also links to the website of Just Detention International, an organisation that works to end the sexual abuse of detainees in the US and internationally.  Esmeralda’s story is in included among their Portraits of Courage, a section of their website where people who have survived sexual and physical abuse in detention, are speaking out – often in spite of the threat of severe retalitation – to try and put a stop to the horrific abuses that go on in detention.  Not surprisingly, many of the people who took part in Portraits of Courage are queer people of colour.